<p>Stepmom is seeing green, she is envious and is attempting to sabotage you because she does not want you above the level of her children, so . . . . . .<br>
Stay away from her immature behavior and focus on your Dad. Send your communication to Dad’s work email and send any paperwork to his workplace.
Don’t involve yourself with your stepmom, and don’t send anything home other than junk mail, because it sounds like she’s having a really hard time dealing with your success.
Good Luck!</p>
<p>If you can get yourself moved in and it’s a “done deal” your SM may come to accept it. Besides, she may like having you out of the house (even tho you’re a good kid). </p>
<p>I wouldn’t flaunt anything to her. Don’t tell her your grades or anything. I don’t know how old you were when she became your SM, but maybe you were too old for her to feel that she had anything to do with your successes?</p>
<p>I agree, just communicate with your dad, I would not give her too much info. It is such a small amount to cover as to not attend would be awful. Your main goal is to get to campus, move in and try to close the gap with work study or a real job on or off-campus and make a payment arrangement if possible with the school.</p>
<p>I’m sorry your step mom is a sad individual and that your dad has no spine. What parent doesn’t want the best for their own kid?..jeez. So, you’ve committed to BU and now a few days before move in, your step mom is trying to sabotage? Wouldn’t the bill be past due already? You mentioned remaining bill…wouldn’t that be for the spring semester?</p>
<p>Some people in this world are just hard to believe…I wouldn’t have a thing to do with your step mom. You have to be civil to her, but she doesn’t deserve a thing more. I agree with above posters, keep all communications between you and your dad.</p>
<p>Since the SM wields so much power in the household, the student should not create a situation where he’s doomed to lose. </p>
<p>If the mom senses that she’s being dissed, she’s going to dig her heels in more. The student needs to work with his dad, but be respectful to his SM. He shouldn’t tell her stuff that’s only going to stir her pot of jealousy. </p>
<p>Sick as it is…this woman would rather say that her children and her stepchild all work a menial jobs rather than be able to say that (at least) one child has been successful.</p>
<p>I’m really uneasy trying to get my Dad to give me money if my stepmom is this strong about not letting me attend BU at all.</p>
<p>You have got to let go of this thinking. Always try to deal with your Dad privately. Ask him to go on a walk, get out of the house for an afternoon. Invest some time in your relationship with your Dad one-on-one. And I wouldn’t bring up your step-mom in conversation with him if you can avoid it. When you are in the house with your step-mom, best not to discuss topics in which you disagree.</p>
<p>You seem to be a really good kid and an awesome person in spite of the challenges you have been given- we can’t only choose the cards we are dealt- just the way we play them and you are doing just that! You are articulate,smart,realistic and humble and after all that you are going through, you are still seeing the “positives” in the stepmom…the fact that you are able to see that she makes you dad happy and that is even important to you speaks of your charcter and is impressive!
I love that you had time with your Dad- I think this should all work out for you ! You deserve it! You have worked hard for this and no one ( especially your own family) should sabatage this! Good luck!!!</p>
<p>sucks to see your dad cave into your stepmoms demands. She is extremely jealous of you, by the fact she her self wasnt able to push her children to good schools. Theres nothing wrong with going to cc, its just cheaper, and they have equivalent courses to 4 year instituitions. Unless her children is in cc, because they are told to do so, and they arnt aiming for any degrees. Your SM is actively trying to prevent you from surpassing her own children in academia. I have a very similar mother, overbearing, berates my dad until he caves into her demands. She literally controls the household, she doesn’t work yet she uses up most of my dads money for her “hoarding” and blames everything on him. if you can get more money for school that will allow you independence from your household that would be great.</p>
<p>OP, I assume the bank account you want access to is an UTMA or UGMA account. Different states have different rules on when you get that money. In our state it is 21 years of age, not 18. So you may or may not be able to get at that money soon. You need to Google your own state’s laws to see.</p>
<p>There is a super-easy calculator at this website where you plug in whether it is an UTMA or an UGMA and your state, and it will tell you the age.</p>
<p><a href=“https://www.franklintempleton.com/retail/pages/generic_content/prog_serv/ugma_utma/ugma_utma_pub.jsf[/url]”>https://www.franklintempleton.com/retail/pages/generic_content/prog_serv/ugma_utma/ugma_utma_pub.jsf</a></p>
<p>Your dad, and step-mom it seems, made a commitment to you for this year that should be honored. To change plans at the last minute is going back on their word. Doesn’t this mean anything to your father? I don’t see how he can justify pulling the rug out from under you at the last minute. I don’t know if there is a non button pushing way to just say ‘dad you agreed to this and it isn’t right to change at the last minute.’ I guess he already sees what a great deal you have and great opportunity and that seems to have just a little sway. I’m glad he seems to be coming around. Maybe you can suggest that the step-mom will likely settle down once you are off to school. </p>
<p>I hope he doesn’t make you borrow for this year, but it seems worth it if you have to. I think it is time for you to get out of this house. The CC route seems unmanageable from a transportation point of view.</p>
<p>Good luck, one way or the other you will get through this and be in control of your own destiny.</p>
<p>I don’t understand at all why taking care of her TWO children doesn’t equal spending the same amount on Dads ONE child. To me, He pays for two of her kids to attend cc. That’s probably close to $8000 a year anyway. Dad needs to “grow some” and take care of his child. OP, Good luck in Boston. Be great. Someday, when you are a successful doctor, your Stepmom will love bragging about you and acting like she was so supportive. Time for someone not to be afraid and stand up to her anyway. She’s been allowed to do this to you for way too long, and dad should have nipped her attitude a couple years ago. YOU are his CHILD. YOU should come FIRST before her. He made a COMMITMENT to you FIRST!.</p>
<p>Updates! </p>
<p>I AM leaving for Boston early in the morning, whether my stepmom likes it or not. When my Dad told her over dinner, she threatened to leave the family, which he thinks is just an empty threat. Dad kept it calm and says that it’s too late to change plans and that it would even be too late to get enrolled at community college - and that he’s not the one paying anyway. She still blew up and said that I was “tearing the family apart because of selfish wants” - WHATEVER. Even though the money is not coming from my Dad OR loans, she still tried to find an excuse to why it would be a waste to attend Boston. I said nothing and let my Dad explain the rest.</p>
<p>My Dad was able to find the remaining funds in a creative way without it being our family’s money. My grandfather worked for a local company that often awards scholarships to top ranking students to current workers. Since my grandfather is retired, I didn’t apply, but we sent the owners an email explaining the situation, my HS transcript, my letters of rec, and they were able to award me a scholarship as well! I am extremely lucky that they had leftover funds that they didn’t award for the upcoming year. I won’t get it immediately, but will meet with BU’s financial office to see if I can set up a payment plan to delay the remaining payment somehow, or pay a small fee to defer the payment for a week or so.</p>
<p>My Dad will be making a donation to this company’s scholarship fund to thank them and I am eternally grateful to the owners as well. Hopefully I can pay it back to them somehow, and even pay it forward. I just am so lucky this worked out because of them.</p>
<p>I extremely excited to move in tomorrow, and thankfully it is just me and my Dad traveling to Boston. Thank you to everyone who has given me advice, encouraged me to work around my stepmom’s obstacles, and given me alternatives to find the funds to attend BU.</p>
<p>Good news…but don’t look too gleeful around your SM…that will just annoy her and she’ll amp up her threats…perhaps even making them look real by leaving for the night to scare your dad.</p>
<p>In the end, she won’t likely leave. She doesn’t work, she can’t cover the house expenses, she doesn’t have a minor aged child with your dad to have the courts let her keep the house. She’s making idle threats. She’d never leave such a good situation for what???</p>
<p>Kudos to your dad! He’s got your back… and be sure to tell him you love him and thank him again when he drops you off. :)</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>good advice! And tell him that you love him tonight! He may need to hear that as he’s likely to hear more opposition from the SM tonight.</p>
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<p>It might be less in visible expenses like tuition, fees, and books, but it could be more if less visible expenses like commuting costs (hidden in car expenses, though perhaps more visible if additional public transit or parking costs are paid separately) plus food and utilities that the CC students living at home would consume (hidden in grocery and utility bills) are included (note that colleges do list some “room and board” costs for commuter students in their cost of attendance budgets).</p>
<p>Here is the cost of attendance estimate for a community college in California:</p>
<p>[De</a> Anza College :: Financial Aid :: Cost of Attendance](<a href=“http://www.deanza.edu/financialaid/coa.html]De”>http://www.deanza.edu/financialaid/coa.html)</p>
<p>Note that only $3,204 of the $12,198 comes from tuition, fees, and books that are directly school related expenses. An additional $1,323 is a commuting cost estimate (though someone who commutes to a job instead of school would also have commuting costs). The other $7,671 is an estimate of cost of supporting the student at that parents’ home (of course, there are variations from one family to the next).</p>
<p>So it is not impossible to believe that each of the CC students may cost the parents more than the OP would at BU – although much of the costs associated with the CC students living at home is hidden in other bills like grocery bill, utility bill, car expenses, etc…</p>
<p>Have a great trip to Boston…please let us know how it all goes (my son is a BU grad…he loved it there).</p>
<p>I’m so happy for you!! Keep us posted and best of luck at BU.</p>
<p>Hope for you the best at your college of your dreams, and as for your sm. You should forget about any relationships with her, shes intent on not having one with you.</p>