<p>*I AM leaving for Boston early in the morning, whether my stepmom likes it or not. When my Dad told her over dinner, she threatened to leave the family, which he thinks is just an empty threat. Dad kept it calm and says that it’s too late to change plans and that it would even be too late to get enrolled at community college - and that he’s not the one paying anyway. She still blew up and said that I was “tearing the family apart because of selfish wants” *</p>
<p>Hopefully, now that your SM’s cover has been blown (that it’s not about the money), your dad will see what’s really going on. Don’t know how well they communicate, but he may want to further explore what she means by “tearing the family apart”…does she mean that she and her kids will “feel bad” if you’re a success? She’d likely never voice those words, but she’s coming thru loud and clear.</p>
<p>lol…“tearing the family apart”…this woman is the master of projection.</p>
<p>Please…put the dinner discussion out of your head…and enjoy BU. that discussion really isn’t about you. Let your dad and SM deal with the issues…and keep out of it. Right now your efforts need to be on getting all settled and going at BU.</p>
<p>Just be polite and cordial with your step mom…and hope for the best. This is a time to take the High Road.</p>
<p>…I bet leaving “the family” would actually be a good thing for your dad This woman has problems and doesn’t seem fit. Great news that you will be attending BU. Your story made me angry…If you weren’t an anonymous poster on a message board and I knew you at all, I would have no problem lending you the money.</p>
<p>I think once this young man is attending classes away from home, the SM will see some benefits to having him away. </p>
<p>As grades come in, I would keep them mostly to myself…no point in rubbing salt in the wounds. </p>
<p>Just a heads up…the med school app process can easily cost you $5k-8k (double sets of apps, travel for interviews, etc), so work when you can - over summers and part-time during the school year - to accumulate some savings IN YOUR NAME ONLY (your school may have a bank on campus for students to use for free). Do NOT tell your parents how much you’re saving otherwise the SM may think that the other account you have isn’t needed (and since she’s on the acct, she may drain it).</p>
<p>My best friend’s kids went through something very much like this. Initially, SM wanted to spend as little as possible and encouraged these high performing kids to aim very low, choose the cheapest option, even some really ridiculous ideas. Dad didn’t fight this. Mom could barely afford anything, at the time. We thought his and SM’s earnings would affect good aid.</p>
<p>What happened, miraculously, was that his relationship with the kids brought him around. They engaged him in conversations, decisions, shared their academic progress, what they were involved with, etc- and Mom did the legwork to find schools with good merit possibilities. </p>
<p>So, OP, keep your relationship with Dad as good as possible. Stay tight with him, if you can, let him see college isn’t just about the kid, it is a parent experience, as well. Wishing you the best.</p>
<p>About weekend employment- much easier to work on campus, no transpo issues, no worrying about weather; college jobs allow for flexibility when you have a big paper, project or exam. And, often you get to work with and meet other kids.</p>
<p>About weekend employment- much easier to work on campus, no transpo issues, no worrying about weather; college jobs allow for flexibility when you have a big paper, project or exam. And, often you get to work with and meet other kids.</p>
<p>I agree with working on campus. Don’t know if this student got work-study. If so, look for those jobs ASAP…they often run out.</p>
<p>But, if no work study, then look to see if the school hires tutors. My kids worked as tutors for 7 semesters (took fall frosh semester off). It was great. Flexible hours, they could study when students didn’t show up for appts. </p>
<p>PLUS…the hidden benefit for premeds who tutor chem and bio is that you’re getting constant reinforcement.</p>
<p>By the time you see this, you’ll likely already be moved in. I just wanted to say congratulations to you on you and your dad coming up with a way to make this happen . . . and best of luck to you as you start your new life!!!</p>
<p>At this point, I wouldn’t upset the apple cart. He hasn’t gotten the aid yet and won’t get it for awhile. I don’t think it matters because this student’s aid was merit based, not need based. </p>
<p>Never heard of doing so and it causing an increase in parent contribution. I’ve heard of it reducing need-based aid…but I don’t think the student got that. The student says that his dad makes a high income and he’s the only one in college now. </p>
<p>If later he reports it and it causes some issue, then at least he’ll be in the semester and the dad will likely pay it because having him leave mid-semester would be ridiculous.</p>
<p>Very likely, the check is made out to the school anyway…so they’d know about it when they get it.</p>
<p>Yikes. For the record,
“If you receive an additional award from outside Boston University, your need-based aid will be reduced only if your total aid, from all sources, exceeds your calculated financial eligibility. Any reduction will be made to self-help (need-based student loan, or Federal Work-Study) first, and to grant only if the outside award exceeds your total self-help.”</p>
<p>He said that the BU aid was merit. And, since he the check hasn’t yet been rec’d, there is nothing to report. What if the source changes its mind??</p>
<p>If it does turn out that the parent contribution goes up… maybe dad WILL pony up once the OP is dropped off at school and in classes. But I do agree that he will eventually need to report it to BU, and it is possible it could have an impact on his other scholarships.</p>
<p>I don’t see how parent contribution could increase. The parent contribution was $8k after his institutional scholarship award. how would that now increase with a new merit scholarship? If anything, it would stay the same.</p>
<p>I wonder if this student is a URM? BU was unusually generous. His stats are very good, but not top for BU. However, if he is hooked in some fashion, then perhaps he was awarded some fabulous diversity scholarship.</p>