<p>I have just reached a dilemma in my college selection life. Basically, my father told me I had roughly 200k to spend on my total college education, including undergrad and grad. But now, just days from my deposit deadline, my father comes up to me and says that we don't even half of that amount he initially told me for my college funds because he wants to use that money to build a bigger house in the near future. Also, my father didn't fill out the FAFSA, or the forms for financial aid, because he didn't think we would qualify for any need-based due to my father's and mother's income combined income. I don't know, but it feels like to me that my father just blatantly lied to me and put me in an impossible situation; I realize I may sound greedy/snobby, but when somebody, especially your father promises to cover your college education, generally you can entirely trust him. My mother on the other hand is threatening divorce and is urging me to go to the school of my choice as she realizes the value of an elite education. She doesn't want me to go to the lower tier schools and be influenced by parties or seen as an outcast for studying so hard compared to my peers. She also strongly believes in the ideology "you get what you pay for" and believes that my best school will give me the best foundation for the rest of my life. </p>
<p>I don't know what to do. My dad is cussing, shouting, and arguing at me that it makes it impossible for me to talk to him. I worked so hard to get to where I am today and only to realize at the last possible moments that my dad basically screwed up the next four years of my life. I need some help, I really don't know where to turn to or go.</p>
<ol>
<li>which schools did you get into?</li>
<li>What is your intended major?</li>
<li>Did any of them offer you scholarships (merit)?</li>
<li>How much will your parents pay towards school?</li>
<li>“elite” college kids party as much as, or more than many other schools</li>
<li>paying top dollar for an education at an “elite” college does not mean that you are getting a better education. It often just means you are paying more for the education you are getting. </li>
<li>Don’t freak yet, look more closely at the colleges and see if there is a compromise available.</li>
</ol>
Looks like your father wants you to take the lower cost school. Is that Willamette?
First it sounds like your mom is trying to use you to get at your father. Don’t get involved with that. Second, it sounds like your mother over-values an “elite education”. You really think you’ll be an outcast for not going to Colby? Really? Noone else in your circle goes to less expensive schools?</p>
<ol>
<li>Colby College - Full pay, Willamette University - 20k merit, Saint Louis University - 16k merit</li>
<li>I wish to study economics with a concentration in banking and finance, a major that Colby College has and is reputably known for. My ultimate goal is to land a job at a top firm. Also might go premed as well.</li>
<li>My father initially said 200k over four years, now he’s saying half of that.</li>
</ol>
<p>I really want to go into the banking world, and I feel that it’s all about the connections, networking, and opportunities that your school has to offer. Out of all my schools, Colby has all these qualities that I am looking for. I am afraid that if I go to Willamette or SLU, I may not find these connections, networks, etc, and may never land a job at a top firm. </p>
<p>The school is actually Saint Louis University as we live so close by, my father wants me to commute to the school so it’ll actually be 40k cheaper than going to Willamette. But I feel that if I stay near my father, he will do me more harm than good as my past with him has shown me that he isn’t the brightest, friendliest, or easiest person to get along with.</p>
<p>I come from an affluent suburb area where a great majority of families understand the value of colleges and their individual rankings and standings against one another. I guess you may be right that I may be sucked into this elite cliche, but with my intended major, I feel Colby will give me the best shot into getting the jobs I want.</p>
<p>You “feel”, or you have hard statistics to back this claim up? If you have statistics to back up your claims, share them with your father and try to get him on your side. If you do not have statistics to back it up, you need to reconsider your own feelings some.</p>
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<p>med school is very expensive. If there is even a 25% chance this is the way you are headed, go to the cheaper school.</p>
<p>So Willamette is $40k cheaper than Colby over four years, and then there is $80k in merit. So the total is $120k less than Colby. And you might be premed?</p>
<p>No brainer. Colby isn’t worth it. Even if your father was willing to fork over $240k (which is ridiculous, and he shouldn’t have promised it), it’s not a good value for money proposition. </p>
<p>I’m going to say this to you, because I always want to say this to high school seniors who want to go into “banking.” Why?</p>
<p>My husband is in banking, investing, money making area of banking, whichever way you want to put it. You have probably heard of him. And when kids come over to the house to “talk to him about going into Ibanking” he asks them why they want to do that?</p>
<p>He tells them he wanted to be a photographer for national geographic when he was in high school and ended up in banking accidentally. He tells them the ‘facts’ about that lifestyle, the way it has changed now with the computers and 24/7 expected availability.</p>
<p>Banking used to be a sustainable lifestyle. It is a grind 'em up proposition now. </p>
<p>Are you an elite athlete with straight A’s who never sleeps and can’t stand not to be busy all the time? </p>
<p>This is what it is to be in Ibanking, now. So, why?</p>
<p>Will your father pay for Willamette? Or is St louis the only school on the table, now?</p>
<p>If he will pay for Willamette, go and live out there for a while. You might find out you want to do something else with your life when you see what the world has to offer.</p>
<p>At this point, the only thing my husband can say about Ibanking, if you are good and love it, you can make a lot of money and do a lot of good with your charitable donations. That is the only thing he says to recommend it.</p>
<p>" He tells them the ‘facts’ about that lifestyle, the way it has changed now with the computers and 24/7 expected availability." - Good point… but alas, very true also in many other fields. </p>
<p>OP - I know you liked Colby. But it seems an unwise (and not possible) choice. Sorry you were misled by your dad - that part rots. Good luck as you regroup.</p>
<p>ED: it’s your father’s money and he can do with it as he likes. Yes–it’s unfortunate that he made a commitment to you and has now reneged on it. However, instead of dissing him, I think you need to regroup and come up with a plan. Would you be willing to take out student loans or work in the summer or part-time during the school year to cover the amount still needed to go to Colby (assuming that’s possible)? Would you be willing to defer for a year and work full-time and use that money toward the tuition differential for Colby? It seems to me that if you show your father that your desire to attend Colby is such that you want to pitch in financially, he might change his mind and offer additional financial support. If you act like you’ve been cheated and that he’s the “bad guy” you probably won’t get anywhere with him.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the consolidated help, I guess now I’m going to reevaluate my future plans and find an ideal path for me to pursue. Thanks again. If a mod wants to close this thread, that’s fine with me. Otherwise, I feel I’ve gotten valuable advice from knowledgable and wise users. Thanks again!</p>
<p>poetgirl - my best friend’s H is one of the smartest person I have ever met. He always said he got into banking by accident - he was looking for a job, his mother was playing tennis with someone who said her husband could get him a job, and the rest was history. Other than their beautiful apartment, they never lived large. At the age of 45 (younger than my friend), he is picking up his custom made boat in South American and they are going to sail around the world. He is not sure if he’ll return to work. He has been D1’s mentor. D1 asked him if she should stick it out (frustrated with 16 hr days). He said because so many people are getting out, he said she’ll have more opportunity than the bankers before her. He happens to think she is good. We’ll see. I am also in the camp of wondering if ibanking is such a good career.</p>
<p>My spouse is in baking/finance with a top firm, no one we know went to Colby and I would bet none of them have even heard of Colby. Don’t get caught up in the name game, it’s no where near as important as you think, or your parents think.</p>
<p>The work is hard and the days don’t end, ever. But if he tells her she is good at it, then she is good at it. Not everyone, or mostly anyone, is actually good at it. That’s half the problem.</p>
<p>She is young. She will go get her MBA or PhD, eventually, and regroup.</p>
<p>One thing I will say is that H is devoting more and more time to a charitable group he has gotten involved with, again accidentally, where we will be moving. I don’t think he will continue with the banking, though, of course, you know the minute you are leaving the offers they give you are idiotic. </p>
<p>So, there is the advantage that he doesn’t have to worry about money and can make his decisions now based on interest.</p>
<p>When does your D plan to go back to grad school?</p>
<p>D1 will probably be promoted this year to be an associate. They are asking her not to return to school, but she is pondering.</p>
<p>Now back to the original topic. I am not sure by going to Colby would necessary help you getting into ibanking. At the same time, I think your Dad should have spoken up before now. Your family dynamic seem kind of complicated. In light of that, I would go to a school with less dependency on your dad. Even if your dad should agree to pay for Colby this year, he may still change his mind later on and you would lose your scholarship at those other schools.</p>
<p>Nice, mini. OP, you seem as though you really don’t know what you want. That’s a good reason NOT to throw lots of money toward a vague goal of getting what you perceive as a “prestige” degree. Why don’t you take a gap year; save some money, think about what you want to study, give your parents time to sort things out, and then reapply next year to schools that fit your interests?</p>