parents' divorce

<p>would having divorced parents belong under the disease/death/etc. life changing situations section of applications?</p>

<p>I doubt it...very much. Like 1/3 to 1/2 of students will have divorced parents. They want to know if you were in the hospital for 6 weeks and therefore couldn't maintain your high GPA, not whether your parents are divorced.</p>

<p>I mean, if it really affected your grades/ECs and was extremely devestating, I would mention it briefly somewhere, but not dwell on it. Don't make excuses, but if it is relevant to <em>your</em> case, let them know.</p>

<p>if the divorce affected a part of your application that you could have done better (eg skipped 3 months of school, terrible grades at one semester), then the best thing to do is to get your counselor to talk about it. </p>

<p>here i'm going to offer an opinion at the risk of sounding insensitive. it's always better to ahve someone else talk about it than yourself, because if you're not careful, you may be seen as trying to fish for sympathy votes. again, i'm not saying that it's no big deal, but rather like lingbo said, don't dwell on it and don't make excuses.</p>

<p>i lost an eye when i was 4, but i made no mention of it in any of my applications because that was so long ago that it didn't affect any part of my application. my counselor told the story though.</p>

<p>well I'm thinking about it in two ways</p>

<p>1) just by having divorced parents I've gone through generally a worse childhood experience than someone whose parents are still married, this is a very simple fact, and maybe this justifies being on my application (of course it's not as bad as having deceased parents, no parents, or missing limbs or something. but it's up there somewhere)</p>

<p>but</p>

<p>2) I've found ways to not let this affect my schooling so that there are no glaring holes in my app, divorced parents or not</p>

<p>basically, I am indeed fishing for the sympathy vote, because I believe I deserve it, I just don't want to come off as sounding like I'm fishing for said vote by either not putting it in there or wording it carefully</p>

<p>My friend's parents separated while he was in high school and while his sister was in college. This was a pretty unique situation, as most parents separate when the kids are much younger, and it really did have an impact on his grades. He made this his essay topic.</p>

<p>ceodaddy:</p>

<p>I wouldn't make a bid deal about it. You seem to be doing fine. If you figure it will get you the sympathy vote, don't you think the admissions folks will see through that ruse? If these admissions folks have been around a while, I'm sure they have heard some real sob stories. An everyday occurence (divorce) without any difficult circumstances will not move a veteran admissions officer.</p>

<p>Also, consider the possibility that the admissions officer might be a divorced parent.</p>

<p>Such a person might react negatively to the idea that you, as a child of divorced parents, automatically had a worse childhood than your peers with married parents did. The admissions officer probably doesn't like thinking that his or her own kids could say the same thing.</p>

<p>I wouldn't mention it unless there is some very specific aspect of the divorce that has had a specific negative impact on your schoolwork (for example, if you had to change schools a lot because of custody changes).</p>

<p>
[quote]
Such a person might react negatively to the idea that you, as a child of divorced parents, automatically had a worse childhood than your peers with married parents did. The admissions officer probably doesn't like thinking that his or her own kids could say the same thing.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>if they believe this they are ignoring the truth. How can you possibly say having divorced parents is a good thing?</p>

<p>A worse childhood would be one where the parents fight constantly -- with verbal and physical abuse. One where the parents are so focused on their negative interaction with their spouse that they practically ignore the children. One where the parents "get back at one another" by refusing to pay for children's activities, doctor bills or school fees. One where the parents rely on the children to spy on the other parent, take action against the other parent or act as a go-between while arguing. I could go on -- but there is a reason why divorce is a better option in some cases. I am not divorced -- but I have seen couples that should have been and weren't.</p>

<p>I would say that playing the divorce card would have worked in the 1950's -- but divorce is a common occurence today and unless the relationship your parents had was unusual and that had a significant effect on you -- you are being ridiculous.</p>

<p>When did your parents get divorced?</p>

<p>i have to say, as a teen with divorced parents, this is a completely unneccesary piece of information to put on your app. Almost 1/3 of marriages end in divorce so its probably alright to assume that around 1/3 of the applicants have divorced parents. Unless your parents divorce caused you great hardship I would definitely leave it out. By the way it is no simple fact that children of divorced parents have a worse childhood. If my parents were together I definitely would have had a worse childhood. Some parents that divorce are really doing the best thing for their children. Constant arguing does not bode well for a developing child.</p>

<p>I decided to have my counselor put it in her school report on me and leave it off my actual app.</p>

<p>However, to those of you suggesting I should be HAPPY about my parents being divorced, like it is a good thing or something: you're disgusting trash in my eyes. Your lack of consideration for my situation (effectively having one parent) and everyone else with divorced parents is outrageous. After reading this you might even get the urge to try and explain yourself, don't, you'll only be digging yourself into a hole. Instead, reexamine your life and hopefully don't screw up next time someone opens up to you.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Some parents that divorce are really doing the best thing for their children.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Divorce is NEVER the best thing for the children. Parents who put their own petty problems over their childrens' lives are selfish and don't deserve to be parents.</p>

<p>ceoddyn:
I don't think anyone here is HAPPY that your parents are divorced.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Divorce is NEVER the best thing for the children. Parents who put their own petty problems over their childrens' lives are selfish and don't deserve to be parents.

[/quote]

I think hsmomstef already gave a pretty good example that divorce CAN be the best thing. How is a mother who gets a divorce, wanting to escape from a verbally/physicaly abusive husband, being "selfish"?? Leaving the children exposed to such behavior is best for the them?
This may not be your experience, but know that there ARE perfectly acceptable reasons for divorce.</p>

<p>ceoddyn, grow up. You admitted out right you only wanted the sympathy vote, and then you call people "disgusting trash". Life is full of hardships that you're gonna need to deal with. I'm sorry that your parents got divorced, but your attitude about it really won't help you.</p>

<p>ceoddyn - there comes a time in life where people need to take responsibility for their own actions and consequences come with those actions.</p>

<p>The fact that your parents are divorced will not garner you any sympathy - don't use that as a crutch for the rest of your life anytime you don't get what you want or feel you are entitled to. Since 1/2 the marriages end in divorce nowadays, 1/2 the kids grow up in that type of household. So, you are not a minority.</p>

<p>I am a divorced parent. Did I divorce because of petty reasons and not thinking about my children? No, I got a divorce because my ex is a nasty, abusive person. I did not want my children growing up in a household where they would learn that abuse was normal behavior. Did my kids suffer in some ways? Yes, they did. Having one income (ex pays support sporadically), my kids did not get the best and newest all the time. But, they got what they needed. Though there were some very lean years, they were raised in a loving home with one parent who was there for them.</p>

<p>BTW, a few years ago my D was physically abused by my ex during his visitation. I won't go into the details other than to say the physical bruises have long faded away, but the emotional/psychological ones will last for a while - maybe all her life. Was that her worst school year grade wise? Yes. Has she tried to use that as an excuse for those years' grades? Never. She wants to be accepted to college on her own merits. </p>

<p>She does have an edge with some colleges because she is a recruited athlete. But that is through her own hard work and dedication - and she has earned that.</p>

<p>You will not go far in life if you are always going to blame someone else.</p>

<p>I was going to say something but i think MAMom23 did well enough without my help.</p>