@PurpleTitan I just got into an argument. A professor just called my house and my mom was pushing me to ask him about financial aid when the COA of the state college is already under $20,000. She keeps saying that it’s HER money and she’s right it is, but she’s not one of those people who believe that it is her obligation to pay for my education. She coddles my sibling and would pay anything for them. For me? Not so much. My dad wants me to appeal my FA from Northwestern. I’ll do that, but they are expecting some dramatic change and claim that if a school wants me enough, they will give me aid that exceeds my EFC.
And when I told her that I am in fact going to a college of my choice (probably wasn’t a good idea), she threatened to send me to her crappy alma mater in Spring 2016 which is literally the last school on earth that I would go to.
Is your dad fine with you going just anywhere of nowhere?
There was a thread that popped up recently about what someone would spend $200,000 on over an education. I tried asking my parents and instead of giving me an answer, my dad started talking about how networking would be more important than just a degree and I could use one of his friends to get a job. It’s so freaking annoying. I cannot understand the logic behind my parents decision making. Like, this is literally MY life. I’m the one who is gonna be spending the next 4 years there. I’ve been asking my parents to save for YEARS and they won’t. My dad did admit that he should’ve started saving more than a decade ago, but obviously it’s too late now.
Would you like to know how many vacations my parents have scheduled for the family for the rest of this year?
Three. And they total more than $10,000 all together. AND they are forcing me to go!
Would you like to know how much my parents have saved for my college education?
$0
I tried explaining that there are saving plans just for college, but she is convinced that it will reduce my aid even more and as a result, they have decided to save NOTHING.
@gearmom My dad is convinced that I could get a fine education at my local 4 year college. I’m sure that I could, but I am also 1000% sure that it would be the worst 4 years of my life. I need to leave their stupidity. I HAVE to go away to school.
On the other hand, he would support me going away to school if finances permitted it but again, he has an unrealistic budget.
They make 240k a year. There will be no aid. I’m so sorry CaliCash.
The bottom line is that it’s their money, and if they won’t pay, they don’t have to pay. It’s entirely up to them. I’m sorry you found out as late as you did. I think you had better start looking at local public alternatives, find a job, and the other choice is to go where they are willing to pay.
And while I am writing this post, my mother is on the phone speaking about how every year from now on, she will be taking 2 vacations. Man, I’m just done. This is ridiculous.
@cptofthehouse My mom said I can’t get a job. She said I don’t need one. :((
Can you move to California and stay with family?
Your mother does not have to crimp her life style to pay for your college. That is not an obligation. Upon graduation from high school and turning 18, you are an adult,and whatever they give you is a gift. Even before that, those kids who got private schools, camps and other such things, got them as gifts. Those are not what are required of parents. It’s their money. You are going to have to get that through your head. If they won’t pay, then you have to start over with that premise in mind.
You don’t have to tell parents on this board. THey are interested enough about the process, that it’s like preaching to the choir.
@gearmom I doubt it. My dad has a brother and sister there, but I still wouldn’t have someone to pay for school.
@cptofthehouse Yeah, but I need to figure something out and my parents are not rational.
You could earn your own money if you had family to live with. Take a gap year.
THen you will sit at home and be a dutiful young woman and see what options your parents have for you if they won’t pay for any school. The schools are not going to take you without the money. Come May 1, if deposits are not made, then you have no school for the fall. Simple as that. If you can’t afford the school, yourself, you have to let your parents pick. Beggars, and yes, you are in that position, can’t be choosers. What do you usually do during the summer and what were your parents expecting you to do this summer, if not work? You may have to go to that last school in the world that you want to go if that is the only one they will pay for.
I don’t even know what to do. But for the future, please, just be straight with your kids. This is such a stressful process and I just needed to rant a little bit. Give them a budget in advance and don’t play games with them 3 weeks before they need to decide where they will be for the next 4 years.
@CaliCash Very unfair how your parents have treated you. So sorry.
You are getting your wake up call early. Your parents haven’t hidden anything from you. They’ve told you they won’t pay for anything but ‘Alma Mater’ school. Take it or leave it. My parents were sort of the same way, in that they didn’t have any money for college but seemed to live the high life. Much of it was paid for by my father’s work, such as award trips to Paris and San Francisco, but to us they just seemed like vacations. I think your parents are doing you a favor by saying they won’t pay anything because my parents always said they would and then couldn’t.
You need to tell your parents the steps you are taking, such as appealing the awards, and then show them the denials when the extra money doesn’t arrive. If you have any viable options, keep them open but close the others as the appeals come through. You just can’t go to schools that haven’t given you an award within $5500 of the COA.
And don’t call your parents idiots. They probably know that’s how you feel.
CaliCash, I am so sorry. For sure that’s an important message for parents and for students too.
@twoinanddone They told me which school they would pay for long after applications were due and my mom has been raving about all these expensive private schools and she encouraged me to look at NU and USC and still “believes” that a miracle will happen.
I see if I can defer my enrollment for a year at a school. Or hopefully, my parents will come to their senses.