And just when I thought i was making progress…
We met with the financial aid office and have our appeal. I was told that I wouldn’t get need based aid once my sibling leaves college. When we left the interview, I spoke to my mom and she said she is not “receiving” that or “taking that in”. I just don’t get where the confusion comes in.
Cali…she doesn’t want to believe what she is hearing. For some odd reason, your mom thought you would get extensive need based aid regardless of your actual income and assets.
At this point, I would be concerned that she might say “go to NU” and then balk when the actual bill comes…leaving you with a big goose egg.
You have other options. Start looking seriously at those. Maybe your mom will be more amenable to “understanding” less expensive choices.
We were hoping that meeting with financial aid would dispell your mother’s illusions. Didn’t happen. Cali, the clock is ticking. Time to make a SUNY plan with your mother.
You could just tell her flat out that it sounds like NU needs to come off the table due to costs. Your mom might not be ready to hear it but at least it would be prudent for you to hear what she is saying.
Plenty of parents say ‘no’ to a first choice school. I did. Unfortunately your mother kept saying ‘maybe’ and stringing you along.
As Cardinal Fang suggested, you need to move forward with a SUNY plan.
@calicash Perhaps it’s time to shift the paradigm…if you had $250k in your bank account and were in charge of spending it …what would you do? Would you spend it all on Northwestern? Or would you go to one of the less expensive (but strong quality schools on your list) and save the difference to use at a later time (for grad school, a down payment on a condo, etc.).
Essentially, this is what we asked our daughter to decide 3 years ago. We had the $$ for her to attend her top choice, private university dream school. It was going to be full cost. Her other option was a very good public university where she received incredible scholarship money. She agonized over the decision and her friends told her she was crazy to even consider the public university. However, that’s what she ultimately chose and is VERY happy.
FWIW - Listing merit scholarship awards on her resume looks great and she’s been able to do several study abroad trips with the $$ saved (again, study abroad looks good on the resume). We meant what we said, and would have paid for the full cost private. However, we were very proud of how she evaluated the two opportunities and she has said many times over the past few years it would have been CRAZY (her words) for us to have spent that amount of money. She’s receiving a top-notch education and has no regrets.
You should be proud of your college acceptances and hard work. And, IMHO it is the latter that will make the biggest difference in your college career and future success!
You have to get real about your situation. Your mother doesn’t want to spend any money on your education. It also looks like your dad would prefer to not spend any money either. Considering that they have arranged for your siblings to pay back what has been spent on their college educations, I think you need to give up any notion that your parents will help you with the costs of your college education.
This means that your options are places that you can pay for entirely on your own with your own earnings, some student loans, and maybe some scholarship money. Go back through your list. Figure out which of your offers are workable if your parents will let you live at home and continue to feed you while you are in college. Figure out if any of your offers are workable if your parents aren’t feeding and housing you. If nothing is workable, then you need to take a gap year, and reapply to a new list using the merit aid information in those threads at the top of the Financial Aid Forum.
Please be aware that your mother’s delusional relationship with money is not likely to change at any time in the future. You need to prepare yourself to take care of yourself financially. And you need to prepare yourself to set appropriate boundaries if your mother’s delusions result in her lacking sufficient funds for things that she thinks she wants or deserves, and then comes asking that you support her spending habits.
I’m not trying to be mean, but I don’t think Cali’s MOM is the only one using wishful thinking here. Cali has her dream school and the also-rans, and isn’t seeing the reality that’s been there all along-mom and dad are not planning to pay for her education-plain and simple. Oh, they might toss a few thousand her way and probably make her pay it back, but that’s still going to limit her options severely.
Cali, PLEASE listen to what these experienced adults have been saying for days. PLEASE look into plan B, C and D. If you don’t have that many, MAKE THEM. You do not have to go where your parents want you to go if they are not paying a dime. Go look at the automatic full rides and the HBCU’s and others with rolling admission and FIND SOME where you could go. Look hard at community colleges, and gap programs-any place where you can spend your time next year if your college plans do not come to fruition THIS year.
There are almost 4,000 colleges-there is one that is right for you, that you will be able to attend affordably, without your parents’ money, and where you will be happy. I know that you want the best of the best-NU, but it looks like that isn’t going to happen. Keep in mind what others (and I) have said. You can get your start as a journalist in many, many places. But you won’t get it at all if you hold onto your dream of only schools you’re not going to be able to attend.
Okay, I just had a heart to heart with my mom and we kinda settled on UF. I found out that NU actually wanted $47,000 per year, not $35,000. I know my work ethic, and who I am as a student, and I know that my degree will not define my success in life. UF was my dream from sophomore year, and I won’t just drop that now that I got into a more prestigious school. UF will be $32,000 for all for years. I will have peace of mind with that. At NU, I will always wonder about how my aid will change the following year and that’s really a burden I don’t want. I also don’t feel comfortable having my parents pay what is essentially $100,000 extra for me to go to NU. That’s crazy money. It’s been a long ride, so I’m pretty sure I will be going to UF.
This certainly was not easy. I absolutely love the campus. It’s stunning and the students are so friendly. The program is amazing and I spoke to so many professors who really made me feel welcome. But I know that UF has an amazing journalism school as well and I’ll be just fine.
You know, it’s funny. I’m sitting here on campus and my mom told me that fit matters most and I told her that I want financial security. So the tide turned a little bit lol. You all certainly helped me push my mom and ask those tough questions. Thank you 
It just would be nice if her parents would set their foot down and say that NU isn’t affordable. I think that might almost be easier for Cali, rather than hanging onto the hope that it will magically become affordable.
You she could try saying something like, “Well, I guess NU doesn’t want me as much as we hoped, Mom. Where would be a better place for me to go? UF? SUNY _____?”
I don’t think Cali has any affordable options without parental help, because there’s nowhere she’s been accepted to that would be under the $5,500 personal student loan limit. They would have to loan her money, or at the very least, cosign on her regular loans. Cali, have you talked about anything regarding any type of loans, for any of the colleges?
EDIT: just saw Cali’s latest post. You’re sure? That’s great! She’s agreed to pay for all 4 years?
Yeah! My dad is on board too. There’s just more financial security at UF. I’ve got a guaranteed renewable scholarship.
Do you need to maintain a minimum GPA for keep the scholarship?
Good news Cali!
@MaterS 2.7 GPA
So I’m fine My GPA would never drop that low. I would be embarrassed for myself. So it’s guaranteed as long as it’s over 2.7 and as long as I remain a full time student.
That is good news. I really hope that it works out for you.
Congratulations Cali!
Seeing the reality of the cost at Northwestern might have helped to make Florida more attractive as well. Sort of settling for the moon rather than asking for the sun AND the moon. You got to meet in the middle.
<:-P
So this is the picture?
No out-of-state fees, the 8k comes off the reduced tuition and, after your student loan, your parents will pay about $17-18k?
@lookingforward I can’t take out $15,000 in loans per year.
EDIT: The tuition is normally $28,000 and the scholarship brought it down. I might not even have to take out loans either