<p>My mom will have surgery on Monday. I think it's a hysterectomy (there was tumor growth near her ovaries), and the doctors agreed to operate before any problems occur. Her recovery time will be at least 6-8 weeks. </p>
<p>I feel like I should be with my mother at least 3-5 days. I told my professors, and they pretty much opposed it. Since I've already missed some class days when I was out-of-town for an academic event, they said that I cannot jeopardize my schoolwork. Many also have attendance policies where students can't miss more than 2 days. Ugh, quarter system. </p>
<p>Is there someone else who can be there for your mom? A husband, a sibling, an aunt, a friend. Certainly your mom will understand that your profs won't let you miss more classes. </p>
<p>Do you go to class near your mom or do you go to school elsewhere?</p>
<p>tensighs, I understand the concern for your mother. I hope her surgery goes well. Although you would like to be with your mother, I feel sure your mother would want you to continue plugging along, concentrating on your studies. We moms are like that ;) . Does she live by herself or are there other family members who live in the home? If someone lives in the home with your mother, she should be just fine. I wish her well.</p>
<p>I agree with SplashMom. You need to keep going to class. Mostly what your mom will need after surgery is rest. You don't need to stay with her the entire time. She'll be fine. Do you have access to a phone a cell phone, so you can check in on her from school?--so you can have peace of mind? Have you talked to your mom about this?</p>
<p>Well, I thought about visiting her before the school year is over. I will probably visit her some time in May. That way she would have had a month to recover. Maybe when midterms are over, I can spend a short weekend. She lives alone, although some family members will stop by to see her. Does that sound like a good deal?</p>
<p>If she has family members checking in on her, it should be fine. And if you can check in daily for the first few days by phone, I'm sure that will lift her spirits. You sound like a very loving child! Your mom is lucky to have you.</p>
<p>You mention that family members will be "checking in on her". Is there one "reliable" family member who can "manage" the situation -- set up a schedule for when other family members can take turns helping her/checking in on her & bring her food?</p>
<p>You may need to make a few phone calls to various family members and explain your situation (they may think that you can come and help and don't know that their help is going to be needed). If you can arrange for one to "manage" the situation and get others "on board" to help, then you and your mom will feel better about the whole situation.</p>
<p>I agree with your idea of seeing her for weekends. She probably will need your support more in the early weeks after surgery than later.</p>
<p>Making weekend visits was what one of my friends did when her mom had lung cancer and was in San Francisco and friend was working as a surgeon in Chicago. If my friend could make those kind of weekend visits, you should be able to do that since where your mom is, Detroit, is relatively close to Northwestern, where you're in school.</p>
<p>I wish your mom a good recovery. Her kind of surgery isn't that unusual, and I know many women who have had it for the same reason that your mom will have hers. My friends have been tired during their recovery, but haven't had major complications or difficulties. This includes friends who are single and live alone, but had help lined up from friends.</p>
<p>Do the grocery shopping to ensure that she has what she needs for when she comes home.</p>
<p>Clean/rearrange the house so that she can move around as efficiently as possible. Even if this means temporarily switching her out of her bedroom setting her up where she is close to the kitchen and bath. Make sure she has a cordless phone/charger set up in this location. </p>
<p>make sure that the person primarily who has signed up to look in on her has an extra set of keys so that mom does not have to do a lot of getting up and down to answer the Door.</p>
<p>Cook a few meals, freeze and package them so that when she is ready to eat heavier foods, she can pop them in the microwave. </p>
<p>Coordinate her ride from the hospital, people running errands. Pick up stamps and envelopes in the event she needs to mail a few bills (if you on line bank and she does not, now is a good time to set her up for online banking). </p>
<p>My mom does want me to visit her for Easter. There is this bus program (<a href="http://www.megabus.com/us/stops/%5B/url%5D">http://www.megabus.com/us/stops/</a>) where rides are reasonably around $15-20 for a one-way trip. They offer direct routes from Chicago to Detroit, Cleveland, Minneapolis, Indianopolis, St. Louis and much more. Ideally, it's as close to mass transit that the folks on the East Coast enjoy all the time. I may take advantage of this program. Yes, I think I will visit her on weekends just so that she will be okay.</p>