Parents, I Need Your Opinions!

Parents Forum
1

Hello, parents! Let’s cut straight to the chase. (I hope this is the correct place to put it in.)

I’m more of a humanities person, and while I AM interested in nearly everything (I just think everything is cool), I don’t really want to major in science or math. I’ve leaned more towards the humanities (writing, specifically) since the fourth grade, and it’s something I’ve seriously thought about for my future job. I like doing things like NaNoWriMo, I’ve entered in the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards twice now, and it’s basically my whole life–for example, to procrastinate, I write. I also love history and studying how people lived, and I am OBSESSED with musicals and operas and plays and films and all of that, and if I had a singing bone in my body, then I would absolutely go that route. However, my parents have other ideas. They want me to have a good paying job, that is also stable, and science is the only way to go about it, and I understand that. My coursework for this semester (Calculus, Chemistry, AP Bio, Biotech, Psychology, Latin, Japanese, Creative Writing, and a light World History) has left me pulling my hair out, and I think I’m starting to dislike it now that they’re pushing me into the science field and not even just talking with me about my interests. They just continually talk about science, science, science, and I get that they want me to have a good life, but what’s a good life when you don’t necessarily love your work? But then they say that nobody loves their work, it’s just something to pay the bills. And it doesn’t help that my twin sister is going into the medical field and is really itching to go to Harvard, 'cause it’s easy to compare people when they come from the same family and are the same age.

I understand where they’re coming from, I really do, but I feel like I’m starting to resent it. Remember when I said that bit about fourth grade? Well, before, I wanted to be a chemist like Marie Curie. And then a geologist when we had our big geology unit. And then a marine biologist when I read this fiction book. And so, my mom is always asking why I changed, why didn’t I stay the science enthusiast that I was? What should I do? I thrive on honesty, so please tell me what you think as bluntly as you can.

Oh! Also, I’m in tenth grade, 16 (I have a late birthday) so I have some more time on my hands before college, and I am Taiwanese-American, if that helps… Should I use that time to get invested in science?

2

I’m sorry to hear that your parents are pushing you towards something you dislike. Sit down with them and have an honest conversation. The points that you bring up above are quite convincing. If I were your parent, I’d see a mature and intelligent young lady who knows what she wants in life.

Going into a science related career is not a guarantee in life. You can do equally as well going towards a humanities track.

3

“But then they say that nobody loves their work, it’s just something to pay the bills.”

I have to say that I absolutely love my work. Maybe not every hour of every day, but I do get a lot of personal satisfaction out of it. Honestly, I could make more money if I were to pursue higher-up positions, but I enjoy the flexibility I have at the moment to be with my family.

Oh, I work in public relations for the government. Yes, I’m here to help you. :slight_smile:

4

OP, I agree that you should think about showing your parents this post. It’s clear that you’re struggling to reconcile what you are good at and enjoy with what your parents want for you.

First, a degree in the sciences is not a guarantee of success. My older daughter sounds exactly like you – even down to doing NaNoRiMo and writing to relieve stress – and she would have been miserable in a science or math track. She’s double-majoring in English Literature / Women and Gender Studies, with a minor in Creative Writing. Is her career path clear? No, but she’s learning to communicate effectively, think critically, and both understand

5

In fact, a lot of businesses are starting to look for grads in the humanities. Why? Becasue they want people who can think critically. Apparently there is a glut of bio majors on the market these days. The world doesn’t need a limitless supply of engineers (yawn.) I agree with others, show your parents what you wrote here. Not that I think you should major in underwater basket weaving, but you should be allowed to study what interests you.

6

As a 10th grader, it is rather early to be making a firm decision on a college major. Regardless of college major you eventually do choose, it is best to take the usual well rounded high school course selection, including science (biology, chemistry, and physics) as well as humanities and social studies, so that you will be ready for any college major (and colleges expect entering frosh of all majors to have the well rounded base in their high school course selection). That you are good enough in math to be in calculus in 10th grade (three grade levels ahead) means that you will probably have some extra elective space after finishing all of the available math.

In the above context, it is also rather early for you and your parents to be fighting over this. I do not agree with your parents that they should dictate your college major, even though they have the power of the purse to do so unless you earn a full ride merit scholarship to some college. But they are in the position of power in this situation.

Note that science graduates, particularly biology graduates, do not necessarily have great job prospects.

7

I love my work. Spouse loves his work. All my kids love their work.

Not every day; not every hour; not every single assignment/project/boss. I’ve worked for miserable human beings and hated my colleagues, but I didn’t last long in those jobs.

Right now I work with incredibly smart people doing interesting work which really speaks to my interests and the way my brain is wired. I am well compensated for what I do, and if I wanted more money I could probably go someplace else and do the same work (but with less talented colleagues) and earn a lot more.

Don’t assume that every adult groans their way into work every day counting the hours until they can leave. Every job and profession has some horrible elements to it (mine is paperwork- lots of spreadsheets which I despise). But don’t assume as a teenager that you won’t be able to find a career that you absolutely love except for one horrible piece (and even the spreadsheets aren’t so bad- except that I hate that aspect).

8

It’s a ways off, and for now, I’d advise deflecting. Noncommittal statements like, “Yes, science is a good field” might ease some of the immediate tension. Since you probably can’t declare a major until after you start college, you’re really not at a place where you need to be solidifying anything, and arguing over something that many never need to be argued over is wasted energy. Like @ucbalumnus said, take everything. Beyond the science and humanities and social sciences, take art. Take something in FACS. Make yourself as well rounded as possible.

9

At some colleges, high school seniors must apply to a specific major or division, so there may need to be decisions made as a high school senior. However, non-art humanities majors are more likely to be easier to change into after enrolling than many other majors.

10

This is half true. I know a lot of people who take pride and satisfaction in their work. If you’re lucky, you even find the work interesting and get a boss you don’t hate. Do many people love their work, in the sense they could inherit FU money and would keep coming to work at the same job? I doubt it. That’s not to say you need to go into science, but you shouldn’t have such idealized expectations of what work should be, that no job will meet it.

11

“Science is the only way to go about it, and I understand that.”

It is not true; do not believe it. In terms of professional career, science can be a way to go, but definitely not the only way to go. Just look at all the successful people out there, regardless of how success is defined, I bet the majority of them do not choose a science college major.

In your writing, I sense that you can do many wonderful things with your big heart. Follow your heart.

12

One question to ask yourself is “what kind working environment do I want to land in?”
An office, teaching, a hospital, lab, outdoors, at a business, retail ? City? Country? Big town? Little town?
Work for someone? Be your own boss?

Do you like working with others or on your own? Project work or routine?

Have you grabbed a college catalog (oh how I long for the old paper ones) to see what type of majors and required courses ? Look at course descriptions. Don’t discount anything. Maybe you’ll end up seeing a pattern in the type of courses that attract you.

13

I think your parents are misguided. Is there someone they could talk with, who they would feel has a lot of credibility, and could explain that humanities majors do fine in the job market, and science majors don’t always hit the jackpot, especially biology. Good writing, research skills, analytical skills are all in high demand. I think your parents need a little more information, and you are probably not the one to give it to them :slight_smile:

14

OP, I’ll just offer two examples of the lack of need for a STEM major. Two sisters (10 to 13 years older than my D) who, in succession, were our go-to babysitters when D was young. Older went to Brown, majored in one of some literature thing, and is now a professor on the tenure track at Cornell. Younger went to Brown, majored in comparative literature, worked as a paralegal for a couple of years, went to law school, clerked for a federal appellate court judge, and is now making big bucks at a BigLaw LA firm. Small sample, to be sure, but, as @compmom said, there are plenty of good jobs out there frying for people who can think, write & communicate.

15

Just to add a little, major often doesn’t match job. I worked at a homeless shelter with a biology major. I know a math major who got a job in a department store doing displays and ended up a professional designer in theater. I know another person who majored in classics, did social service and was promoted to do the books, went back to school at 38 to do an MBA (veteran, so free) and was a top administrator at a couple of non-profits. I know a trombone major who works for WGBH and promoted Sesame Street. Speaking of WGBH, a relative volunteered there after majoring in sports management, did local radio reports on sports, went back to school for media at 25, and is an executive at a major network.

Examples of majors matching career abound as well: a woman I know majored in history, worked for an historic preservation organization, specialized in churches, and now has her own non-profit where she is in charge of entire large projects. I know a young English major working for a magazine, and another writing a children’s book. Teaching is a possibility as well.

I strongly advise you to look at craigslist, say, in a city like Boston. And in Massachusetts there is a great site called hireculture.org which has many many job listing in the arts, non-profits and so on- interesting jobs that would support you as well. Also think about the things suggested above by gouf78.

In terms of the corporate world, believe me, businesses need humanities majors. The career goal may not be clear and specific, but studying as a generalist in undergrad years makes you a truly educated person (and citizen) able to work in any field that can use your well-developed skills.

16

What do your parents do? What path did htey take to their current jobs/careers? What did they major in in college?

17

Well, science has no job prospects either out of college, unless we’re talking about computer science or engineering. If the goal is to get a good paying job out of college, you would want to go with business.

I think you should do what you love, but be mindful of your career throughout your whole time at college. Don’t go there, take classes and have fun for four years, then last semester of senior year start applying for jobs and think you’re going to get something. You won’t get hired anywhere. If you like that music and writing stuff, try to work hard at it and get a lot of summer internships in it.

18

Hey OP! Hang in there. I know it’s tough–parental expectations, etc. As others have said, there can be enormous value in a humanities-related major, and science is not a guarantee to a good life professional or financially. And ultimately I think it’s important to care about the thing you hope to do–even a little. You don’t have to love your job, but if you actively hate it, you won’t last very long.

Lean into your creativity and what you love. I can say that hyper-focusing on humanities and the creative arts has served me incredibly well, and you can make a case to your parents, too. Every industry needs critical thinkers with strong writing/communication skills–you’d be amazed how many people lack those. At each job I’ve worked, I’ve become the “go-to” for copy writing, writing business newsletters, composing persuasive emails, etc. All writing projects are funneled to me in my current position regardless of whose “job” that project is. I’m a valued employee making good money and I know I can peddle those skills to other companies, should I wish. Editing skills have lead me to my mentoring/advising freelance and non-profit work. I’m not making money off books yet, but when I eventually sell one, the advance should pay off my student loans and pay for a nice vacation. That’s valuable!

You know, you can also combine a love of writing and the sciences… science journalists are in high demand because most journalists are not well-versed enough in science to competently write about it. There are also science-based industries that need strong communications professionals to write grants, corporate copy, etc. You could also explore science policy work (think environmental science/policy), where, again, strong writing skills are a boon. These are of course things to look at after college, so you could major in a variety of things in college. You could major in a humanities-based area and then minor in something science related, for example.

19

Another point is even if you love your job when you start your career, many people feel jaded or burned out after they’ve been working in the same position or career for a number of years.

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And you’d be amazed at how many STEM people have excellent writing/communications skills and don’t need people without technical expertise writing for them.