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<p>LOL! That’s so true!</p>
<p>mommusic… great cartoon… that is actually one thing i really dislike about son’s school, website is difficult, even their section for students to log into once registered. it appears they have updated the site 3 times over the past…so different styles, broken links, cant get there from here.</p>
<p>waving
I opened the windows this morning and turned off the A/C.</p>
<p>My boys only have one grandparent still living. (DH and I waited until we were old to have kids, and that’s one downside of waiting.) She only has male grandchildren, a source of great frustration to her, no doubt. I have no interest in knitting, shopping, etc., but fortunately she does have a DIL with those interests so I’m off the hook. 
She does like to watch the Yankees on TV, so that helps. :)</p>
<p>I’m still working on yesterday’s thread assignment…;)</p>
<p>grandparents- H’s parents were older when they had him, mid forties. His dad died before we met. His mother was a very gregarious person and although she died from cancer at 75 when the kids were young, the sickness was a fairly short time so memories they have of her were good.</p>
<p>My parents were 30 and 38 when I was born, my mother was never a physical person I can’t remember ever going for a bike ride or a long walk with her. Over the years she has gotten much more frail a lot of it mental and now is very dependent. My father was always very physical and when the kids were young he used to run them up and down the driveway in those little tikes cars and push them in swings and all sorts of fun physical things with them. But he is 86 now and has also slowed down a lot. I hope seeing them though this phase of their lives won’t be what they remember the most.</p>
<p>My grandmother is still going strong at 100.5. She is a wonderful conversationalist although her hearing is pretty weak. She is slowing down but I bet she could beat her daughter (my mother) in just about any mental or physical challenge. Her husband passed away right after we were married but I have such fond memories of the two of them from my childhood. My dad’s parents were quite a bit older and his mom died when I was ten and his dad before their marriage (same as for me and H)</p>
<p>So… age to have kids is one factor, people can age very differently. </p>
<p>happy Friday everyone
</p>
<p>Morning, all.</p>
<p>I’m the only one up here at MIL’s house so I’m typing quietly. Already went for a walk and came home to them still sacked out. Happily eating a virtual cinnamon-raisin bagel. Thanks! Really want a bottled water now but don’t want to venture into the kitchen and wake dh and MIL up.</p>
<p>Ds1 seems to have had a good night as bachelor boy, home alone. Went to the movies with a friend and then met some other friends in the park to play soccer until dark. Remembered to care for the dog, so that’s good. We pick ds2 up at camp today. Expecting very long face and fighting back of tears. :sad:</p>
<p>About grandparents: My kids still have three who adore them. Y’all know about the lovefest with my dad; the grandmoms are source of much unconditional love and food. Interesting to hear this talk of age to have kids; wonder whether the pendulum is swinging back after the generation that waited to pursue careers.</p>
<p>Have a great day!</p>
<p>It is a gorgeous Friday morning here but I’m feeling melancholy. S left for work, and from there is going straight to his campus (5 hour drive) for the weekend. He’s bringing one of our old sofas, his TV and a few other things to his room in the frat. His roommate is there for the summer working on an internship, so they’re gonna hang out. D is at work but this afternoon I am dropping her at her BF’s work, as soon as he’s done they’re picking up 2 more friends and heading to a river-side campground in Maine to go camping with a co-ed group of a dozen kids. I’m more concerned about the drive up & back in a very loaded SUV than I am about the actual tent camping. Both kids will be home Sunday, I expect D will come home with a pile of smelly stuff and promptly fall asleep.</p>
<p>And as I was saying bye to S, I could see a “party bus” in my neighbor’s driveway. 2 families on our street are off on a weeklong Caribbean cruise together (I’m feeding one of their cats while they’re away). Between the 2 families they have 5 teenage boys, so our neighborhood is gonna be REALLY quiet.</p>
<p>I was gonna try to accomplish something this weekend, but now I’m thinking H and I might go into Boston and go on a whale watch. The weather is beautiful and I’ve never done a whale watch, and always wanted to!</p>
<p>hmm suzie orman just on today show… 20% of all student loans now in default…she is pushing the cc route for 2 years then transfer to college…also her guideline for loan amount… no higher than what you will make your first year after graduation… ie if your salary will be 40K that should be the max loan amount…</p>
<p>I’ve been avoiding the “say something positive about your kids” thing because I don’t know where to start. We’ve been truly blessed. </p>
<p>I guess I’ll narrow it to two things for S:
- he does usually chores after only being asked once (this is a rather recent trait, haha).
- He and D spent some time together, and she later told me that he had been giving her the “rules” about college: don’t drink anything out of a punch bowl, etc. I’m glad, because I’m sure she’ll listen to him (a college senior) more than she’d listen to her dinosaur over-protective parents.</p>
<p>D - has been doing her best to walk a tightrope this summer. She wants to spend every possible minute with her boyfriend, but she knows we are going to miss her as well so she’s trying to spend time with me, too. She’s doing the best she can to be sensitive to my feelings, and I know she’s not taking us for granted.</p>
<p>P56 - interesting loan guideline from Suze Orman, hadn’t heard that before but it makes sense. Unfortunately, hs seniors who are making these decisions probably don’t have a very realistic idea of what they’ll make when they graduate college.</p>
<p>parent56, how do you know what your salary will be? How do you know you’ll even get a job right away? Not that I am advocating loans, but sometimes there is just no choice. I had student loans in excess of starting salary and still managed to get them paid off.</p>
<p>momof3: waving back! It’s actually cooled off quite a bit since I posted my earlier weather news. Thanks for sending the breeze! :D…And I know you will get yesterday’s “assignment” done…just think about the restraint and integrity your DS’s have shown in dealing with certain people (including the food thief and the “little darlings”) this summer. ;)</p>
<p>Re grandparents: My mom is a spirited 85 and adores all her grandchildren. My D and S enjoy their time with her and she is a source of unconditional love and wonderful memories for all. And she also LOVES watching the Yankees on TV! My Dad passed away when my D and S were both very young, so they don’t remember him. They both have many of his traits, even including a “knowing smile,” that when my DS beams one, I know my Dad is smiling back…</p>
<p>My H’s parents are in late seventies to 80’s and also very loving and involved with all of their grandchildren. D and S adore them as well. As they have gotten older, the family traditions have taken on even greater meaning. </p>
<p>Lafalum: Sorry you are feeling melancholy…Hoping your S and D have a great weekend…and that you have a relaxing time with your H. The whale watch sounds fabulous!</p>
<p>ETA: Queen’s Mom: I agree…You raise some good questions/points.</p>
<p>i guess you could use those various websites that list salaries for various jobs/occupations. i think son once looked up a chem related occupation and found about 60K for whatever it was he put in. sounds great in theory but with costs what they are could be very difficult for some…to attend a school they want that includes loans as part of their package, or if merit not part of the scenario. makes me feel better going the route we did… would have meant 60-80K for undergrad and who knows for grad school if we had gone with the school he wanted instead of his full ride.</p>
<p>queens mom she also commented on one of the reasons for the defaults was the inability to get a job, then interest compounding etc… i knew the problems with defaulting but she added a few i hadnt heard before… if in default on student loans you may not be able to renew a professional license, the wages of your SPOUSE can be garnished, you may not be able to get clearance if you have a government job.</p>
<p>It’s really hard when you are 17 and won’t even declare your major for another two years to think about starting salaries. It’s just so hard to make educated guesses about the future. 4 years is a long time and everything can change between now and then.</p>
<p>Of course, choosing a full ride if you have the opportunity is great, but I have serious doubts about the wisdom of starting off in CC. Of course one of my best friends in High School did 2 years in CC and transferred to Cornell, so it is definitely doable.</p>
<p>Grandparents:
Both of my parents are still living and are only an hour or so from where we live. DW’s father lives near my parents (DW and I met in HS). Her mother passed away just a couple of years ago, so my D’s have both known their grands very well. My mother especially looks forward to the holidays / birthdays that she can take the D’s shopping. Like jackief, my grandmother is living, will be 98 in a couple of months, and is still in reasonably good health living on her own. So my kids know her, but we do not get over to see her very often. Funny, lately my grandmother has been telling me how concerned she is that my mother is getting older. 
We have had several 100+ people in our family, so I threaten DW that she may be stuck with me for a while.</p>
<p>Keil (and t_c, mdemvizi, CaD, et al.) - I do not have any S’s, so I can only speak to Dad’s 'N D’s. Dads aren’t always that great at communicating (just ask any DW on here), but rest assured that you own the keys to their hearts.</p>
<p>P56 - I have no experience with jROTC, but I do know that a little structure / discipline from a 3rd party can do a world of good. I have been studying / teaching karate for over 25 years and have seen it really turn some kids around (including me to a degree). It is NOT a guarantee, but when it works, it works really well.</p>
<p>Today is a bittersweet day for me. I have been a consultant for my current company for 22+ years (D1 was 3 months old when I came to work here) and have been with the same client the entire time… yes, a consultant for the same client for 22+ years! The client has been gradually phasing out all consultants for a few years and I am the last from my company to go. Today is my last day and I am flying home for the last time. I knew that this was coming, so I have a few options that I am considering, literally from an hour from home to Boston and San Francisco. Unless there is a radical change soon, I will probably take a job with a completely different consulting company, owned by someone I know well and for whom I have a great deal of respect (PM me if you are in need of some excellent IT services!). The new company will allow me to work locally more often and not be on a plane every week! I feel like I really do not want to leave DW in a completely empty “nest” in another month. I’m over the whole travel “glamour” thing (you know, airport delays and a different hotel bed every week). I think that it is time that DW and I spend a little more quality time together (even if I have to learn to dance). Heck, who am I kidding, if she could find a dog that could pick up after itself, I’d be completely replaceable. However, the new company is nearly 2 hrs from my current home, so it will probably eventually mean moving if I want to work “locally”. Have any of you moved while your S/D was away at college? That seems kinda strange / cruel to me… send D2 off to school knowing that she may not come back to her original home / room. :eek: Maybe I’m crazy and thinking about this too much. It has been a much more emotional week than I had anticipated. My intray has 4 pages of emails of well-wishes from colleagues. The stress has been through the roof. Can’t wait to get home!!! There is going to be a lot of discussion at the GSharp home this weekend. Whew, now that is off my chest!</p>
<p>Re grandparents: My kids have two living ones, plus one step. Both sets are out-of-state and we only see them a couple of times a year.</p>
<p>My Dad just turned 84 and is spritely and elf-like. His second wife, who he married about five years after my mother died, is much younger, but has some serious health issues. Nonetheless, the kids love visiting Paw-paw and Ramona. Conversation is lively and varied, the tv is seldom on, there’s always somewhere to walk to, and there’s a basement full of books to read. When the kids were little, there were toys around the house and grandparents who were willing to sit down on the floor and play with them, plus a nice enough playground down the street at the local elementary school.</p>
<p>My husband’s mom is 89 and now has major, major health issues. But even before she started developing the health issues and mobility problems about 8 years ago, the kids really didn’t enjoy (and still don’t enjoy) visiting her even though they both deeply love her. Why? “Grandmom’s house is sooooooooo booooooring” MIL lives in an adult condominium complex with lots of rules. There is a swimming pool there, but my kids have never gone swimming in it because of ** the rules ** that only allow grandkids of residents very, very limited access (a couple hours per week, if I recall) and only allow grandkids access if the grandparent is physically present and GM was never willing to take them even before she got sick. When the kids were little, there were no toys around, except for those we brought and GM would not get down on the floor to play with them on their level. Now that the kids are almost grown, they complain there’s no where to walk to, there’s nothing to read (except the books they bring with them), and the tv is always on and always turned up very loud and what GM watches is typically irritating to them. [Lots of CNN and Fox news folks screaming about things.]</p>
<p>wow what a day for you gsharp!! congratulations on your new start!!</p>
<p>i dont know what to say about moving while kids are in college… but … when my oldest went off to college, I was adamant there would be no change to his room, no one else could use it etc… when he came home it was just as he left it… but a few years in he told me i was dumb, why not let one of his brothers use it he wouldnt be living there anymore and it is the best of the boys rooms. perhaps if the move doesnt happen right away, their attachment may have lessened?</p>
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I can see what you mean – this is definitely a bittersweet time for you. I am amazed by your ability/willingness to articulate those things. I sincerely salute you. After she’s settled, you should ask your D how she feels about a move. She might feel strongly one way or the other (or not) and your actions could be adjusted accordingly.</p>
<p>GSharp, You really have a talent for self expression…and humor. You are carefully examining all the options, and I have no doubt that you and your fortunate W will come up with a good plan. Sending some 
’s your way.</p>
<p>Good morning, everyone! I had a good walk with my dogs today and then a nice big breakfast, so I’m glad!</p>
<p>re: moving/making changes to the house while kids are in college. I think it depends on a) how used to that particular room/house the kids are (have they lived there all their life or have you moved around in general) and b) how often they expect to be home/how really independent they’re ready to be (do they see themselves coming home for the summer and getting a job or internship locally or are they ready to live on their own if they have to during the summer and longer breaks).
My own parents have wanted to renovate part of our house (which we just moved into like 5 years ago) since we bought it. But my brother would have to move out of his room for a few months for the renovation to take place, and so my parents have said that he’s going to move into my room when I leave. So unlike some of your kids, I really have to clean my room - I have to basically erase all signs of my life. And when I come home I’ll live in the guest bedroom, unless we have guests, in which case I’ll probably just be given a couch. It’s weird, because they’re incredibly overprotective and will miss me tremendously once I’m gone, but at the same time they seem to be dealing with my leaving by erasing any physical reminders of my life from their home.
I don’t mind them changing my room. I just wish they would’ve asked me first.</p>
<p>Side note - I leave on the 30th, in a month! Yay!</p>
<p>Other side note - my mother decided to go shopping for dorm stuff without me yesterday. I was happy that she took some initiative, but when I looked at the stuff she got I realized that she got stuff in the wrong size, stuff my college doesn’t allow and stuff that I just don’t need. When will she realize that I make lists for a reason? (now just replace “mother” with “D” or “S” and I think it’ll be more CC-appropriate :))</p>
<p>I’m filling out the forms for D2 for the high school. They are due Aug 1 so of course I am doing them today and bringing them over. But I am only filling out one set not two…</p>
<p>G# good luck on sorting it all out. We often tell our kids we will move when they are in college and not give them the new address, but of course we love them so much it is a joke (maybe) Anyway, we have been in this house/town only four years and we do talk about not staying here long term. We are both sw engineers so could telecommute although that can have drawbacks. Glad you will have more time to spend with DW.</p>
<p>:cool: </p>