<p>On a somewhat unrelated note. We had a 13 year-old missing for 3 days nearby. You can imagine the search that went on. There was always something in the report that made me think it was a runaway situation, but of course you never know. She was found safe yesterday in an abandon building with food & supplies, thank goodness. Her father was on the news and said she ran away because she was so stressed out about CT Mastery Testing(NCLB stuff) and she was receiving counseling.
Not to sound flippant, but all I could think of was - if she think it’s bad now how is she going to make it through PSATs, SATs, SAT2 and college apps. Hope she gets some good counseling. You never know what else is going on of course, are there unreasonable expectations being put upon her, is she putting them on herself. CT Mastery tests mean nothing individually I don’t think unless they impact what hs track you are on.</p>
<p>collegemaw: Willamette. Is it on your D’s list, too?</p>
<p>madbean: Congrats! And good luck with the choosin’.</p>
<p>I, too, was one who always asked seniors and their families about their college search. I think people do it for two “benign” reasons: wanting to show interest in the important things going on in people’s lives, and collecting info for ourselves about something we’ll be going through ourselves in a few years. Those questions don’t bother me. I think some people have a less benign reason: keeping score, comparing their kid to yours, evaluating your kid’s worth against their ideal (usually getting into an ivy). Honestly, that doesn’t bother me either. It seems really insecure and misguided, and isn’t a good sign for how they’ll process their own kid’s news and prospects when their time comes.</p>
<p>Now, I always ask “how are you surviving senior year” or something along those lines. :)</p>
<p>We should all just ask “So how is your Mom surviving your senior year?” that would be sure to elicit a great response!! I stumbled over to the finaid forum and gosh, yes - scary place. Some poor unemployed widow is being called lazy. Geez. I ran right back over here, where it’s safe!</p>
<p>Feeling the stress here. A bit of a downer as S2 didn’t get the big scholarship at a competition that he attended last week. Got a smaller one, but maybe not enough to keep that school on the list. Disappointing because he really liked the school and I think it could be a good fit – well, except for the financial aspect. Also waitlisted a school that should have been a match for him. He’s a tippy top stats kid, great ECs, glowing recommendations, NMF. But no hook. It’s hard for me to see the disappointment on his face…truly, what else could he have done? His grades were perfect, his test scores so close they could be considered perfect, leadership experience, competitive internship, etc. Really, what else do they expect from these kids? </p>
<p>Now I see the fear in his eyes. His reachy reach decisions will be out next week and he thinks he doesn’t have a prayer. He’ll hear from a couple of other reaches as well, but with little hope of financial aid. He has 2 more scholarship competitions to attend next week, but I feel as if his heart really isn’t in it any more. He just looks defeated. And this, from my confident well-rounded easy going child. </p>
<p>I’m trying to be positive for him, but to be honest, I’m just as stressed as he is.</p>
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<p>LOL, it IS scary…and sometimes mean. I haven’t been over there for maybe a year. You have reminded me why!</p>
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<p>It’s hard to even read about! But my D’s “almost perfect” friend who was WL by what should have been a match is being heavily and generously courted by a tippy top school.</p>
<p>**Thursday’s Countdown for the “reachy” schools is: </p>
<p>Vanderbilt - YESTERDAY was decision mailing day! (snail mail only - probably 1 or 2 days to hit your mailbox). KEEP THOSE MAILBOXES PROPPED UP. LOTS OF HEAVY ENVELOPES COMING SOON! The Admissions Blog link is Vanderbilt Class of 2015 Admission Decisions Mailed Today | The Vandy Admissions Blog | Vanderbilt University</p>
<p>U Cal - Berkley - TODAY is the day decisions are released.<a href=“Based%20on%20information%20provided%20to%20me%20by%20another%20poster%20-%20thank%20you.”>/color</a></p>
<p>Stanford - 1 day to go (MAYBE). Based on last year’s schedule we will hopefully get emails this week! </p>
<p>Vassar - 1 day to go. (Based on information provided to me by another poster - thank you.)</p>
<p>UVA - 1 day to go. Announcements are to be released on Friday the 25th at 5 PM. (Based on information provided to me by another poster - thank you.)</p>
<p>Wesleyan - 1 day to go. (Based on information provided to me by another poster - thank you.)</p>
<p>Johns Hopkins - 5 days to go. Announcments are to be released on the 29th. (Based on information provided to me by another poster - thank you.) See their Admissions Blog announcement at Hopkins Insider</p>
<p>The big “H” and other ivys - 6 days to go based on the 5PM March 30th announcement date and time. The “lottery drawing” is less than a week away!</p>
<p>March 31st schools - 7 days to go. For all the schools that haven’t announced earlier dates!</p>
<p>I am monitoring the news releases and admissions blogs to nearly a dozen “reachy” schools and will post updates or changes to the countdown as they occur.</p>
<p>[color=red]TOMORROW WILL BE A BIG DAY FOR A LOT OF US ON THIS FORUM!**</p>
<p>Amanda: I love the question about how Mom is handling senior year. I’ve learned to ask seniors “What are your plans for next year?” or the even safer “Are you ready to graduate?”</p>
<p>Ohiomom: I’m sorry to hear about how defeated your son feels. This process is brutal. He is a wonderful, bright kid, and I’m sure that he will land on his feet. It sounds like he could use some TLC before the next round of scholarship visits. Maybe you can take him out for ice cream, or a meal and let him vent a bit. You can let him know how proud you are of his accomplishments, and that he will be happy and successful wherever he lands.</p>
<p>I’m rooting for all of your kids during the next week and hoping for lots of good news. We’ll be here to listen to it all - good or bad.</p>
<p>EmmyBet ~ Glad to hear your JD2 made it home safe.</p>
<p>ohiomom24 ~ So sorry about the stress caused by the disappointing scholarship news and the WL (sounds like one of those lottery schools). Hope it goes better for your hardworking S2 next week. It’s great that you are able to keep positive for him!</p>
<p>Hi all</p>
<p>Strolled over to that FinAid thread of the widow/mom and read the first page…
my only guess is that the school in question is looking at the life insurance payout (lump sum cash) in her bank as an asset of cash to be tapped…because her income from that is very modest.
Didn’t bother reading the rest of the thread…</p>
<p>I got totally trashed over there last fall when I posted… While I was able to shed some very frank light on some things, and some parents benefitted- saying they learned more from my posts about fin aid apps than they had in the previous year…
I got totally slammed and things were taken out of context etc…</p>
<p>I don’t know why some people (especially adults) think its OK to be rude, unkind and presumptuous …and that they can flame people who are looking for solutions/advice…
And people wonder why we are seeing teen bulling via the internet…!ha I have been bullied by "adult"s.</p>
<p>I hope the school can work things out for that mom. Life insurance benefits (the lump sum payments) aren’t taxed as they are post tax dollars that pay the premiums up front…I would guess just the income generated on an invested settlement would be taxed…Its possible that their home has equity.</p>
<p>I’ve been reading that FA thread too. Some incredibly helpful knowledgeable posters–and some others that need a good talking to. People speculate madly about things that aren’t written, and then others take the speculations as gospel, ugh. The real lesson from that thread is that no FA offer is real until it’s written down and sent to you.</p>
<p>Oh Ohiomom, my heart hurts reading that. My D has similar feelings but about her auditioned schools. She has some lovely, lovely offers but unless one of the auditioned programs comes through she will feel like she failed. Sigh. I like the ice cream and extra TLC idea. I think these kids are going to need a lot of soft spots to land from us in the next 10 days. They are all going to also experience some exhilarating highs. I personally get motion sickness and haven’t been on a roller coaster in years. Luckily I keep a supply of non-drowsy Dramamine on hand.</p>
<p>Sorry for the disappointments, ohiomom24. But admissions decisions seem to have little correlation between schools–don’t get down! I hope things go great for your S this weekend.</p>
<p>I totally understand where you’re coming from, though. My son has great stats and grades and decent ECs, but nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary. I fear, too, that we’re in for some unfortunate surprises this week! He’s already in at his first choice, but since we haven’t received the FA package yet, we still don’t know if we can afford it. It will be heartbreaking if we can’t.</p>
<p>I think waiting for FA packages is even more stressful than waiting for the decisions! Kudos to the schools that release both at the same time–it sure does cut down on the stress.</p>
<p>If anyone needs to ‘escape’ for a couple of hours, the Adjustment Bureau is really good. There’s one brief love scene (in which you don’t see a thing) so it’s good for any older kids. Raises some interesting questions about life and destiny and free will. Plus it’s got Matt Damon so that’s a plus right there!</p>
<p>I liked Rango very much as well.</p>
<p>I’m trying to get ready for inevitable rejections letters for D (of course I hope she gets in to all her schools, but I think that’s unrealistic). Problem is, I’m at work, so I know I’ll get a call and it’ll be hard for me to gauge how upset/disappointed she is. I don’t want to say the wrong thing (but isn’t that what mothers are for?). </p>
<p>What have other people said? Too bad. I’m sorry. That sucks. At least you have (mention accepted school) at which point she’ll probably explode “but I really wanted to go to (school that rejected me)”.</p>
<p>Sigh…</p>
<p>Ohiomom, so sorry to hear about the scholarship disappointments for your son. I imagine it’s very difficult for him not to take it personally. </p>
<p>Madbean, congrats to S2 on USC!</p>
<p>We had a dusting of snow here this morning and to make things even more depressing a good friend just told me she is moving to Florida.</p>
<p>At this stage of the game, at the risk of being flamed for injecting the name of a political figure into our conversation, may I just spend a moment to talk about Al Gore? It is a shame that he is a political lightening rod, because he is about the best example of resilience in recent times.</p>
<p>Al Gore won the popular vote and lost the election. Whether you believe he was robbed by Gov Bush or the Supreme Court, or whether you believe he lost by 400 votes, what an incredibly crushing disappointment for him. He retreated from public life for a while. He grew a beard. He gained weight. Then he found a cause and in the process, won a Grammy, Emmy, Academy Award and the Nobel Peace Prize. Again, it doesn’t matter whether or not you like him or agree with his cause. He had every right to be regretful and bitter…which he was for a while, but then he got out there and got busy.</p>
<p>And I’m sure that all of your kids, even if they receive crushing disappointments, will, too. Let them eat a tub of ice cream, not shave, rant and rave. After a few days or weeks, they’ll choose a great school that wants them and in a year will think it’s the only school for them. Pain might be inevitable but it won’t be permanent or crippling.</p>
<p>Wow! So much going on and sooo many new people. I love it! I have been trying to keep up with all the news. Every time I think I’m up to date, <em>BAM</em> three new pages!</p>
<p>Bluejr has one school left to hear from…THE one in his book. He’s been pretty zen about the entire process until the last week. I am an emotional sponge and carry every bit of frustration and anxiety my kids feel ten-fold. Like everyone else, although college is a prime focus right now I do have two other kids who are very adept at adding their own flavor of stress to the mix. Weather it’s a job, parents, spouse, or other kids, we all have other things tugging at us. Any one of those things is bearable but add them together and it’s the perfect storm for stress. </p>
<p>I’m keeping my fingers crossed for all of ‘our kids’ and sending very positive wishes your way!! The countdown is currently 28.5hrs for Friday 5pm decisions… not that I’m counting ;).</p>
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<p>I hear you so clearly. D was very upset with the wait list and has decided that none of the other reachy ones are going to be positive either. I’ve told her that one school’s decision has nothing to do with the other, but at this point, she’s bracing for the worst. Hard to see that hit in confidence. She recently went on an overnight visit to one of her match schools - got in there with a nice merit scholarship. Ranked fairly high on her list - or so I thought. A couple of days ago, she says that the school was “ok”, she felt like she could fit in there, but didn’t get any overwhelming “This is the THE place” kind of feelings. So, I think she is holding out hope for some positive responses from the reach schools. Sigh - incredibly confident, accomplished kid - I hate to see her walk around looking so defeated.</p>
<p>missypie - I like the Al Gore comparison. You can survive, even thrive - wherever you end up, doing whatever you do - if you will yourself through it. </p>
<p>Classof2015 - when D got the news, I had just gotten home. I was completely unprepared - didn’t know what I could say - just held her close as she sobbed. And if the news came while I was at work, don’t know what I would say :(</p>
<p>To top this all, H is looking around for a job and has two potential offers - is trying to figure out the pros/cons and decide between them - and it has to be done ASAP. I am just feeling emotionally wrung out 
And I do have to get to work…</p>
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No puking, FTW!!! <kinderny does=“” her=“” happy=“” dance=“”></kinderny></p>
<p>Thanks all for the good thoughts.</p>
<p>Ohiomom: Your post brought back my tears from last week. It’s so hard not to ask “what more could (s)he have done?” Great kids, great grades, great ECs. Try not to kick yourself and second guess. Remind your son that you love him, you’re proud of him and that he will succeed where ever he goes.</p>