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<p>Y’all are going to make me cry and my D has been done with the process since Dec. 1st! But in reality, I’m not worried about the kids of the parents on this thread. I worry more about the kids of parents who EXPECT their kid to get into a certain school and who will be angry *at their child *if they don’t. The parents who will be disappointed in their child if they don’t get into a certain school.</p>
<p>I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. Thanks for the words of comfort and support. I’m glad to have you. I would never consider saying anything like this about my son in my community. So many have told me that their sons and daughters think he is the smartest and funniest person they ever met. I know that any of his doubts or mine would be met with either a brush off – “you can’t be serious” – or denial – “we know him, he’ll get into every school he has applied to”. And, while well meaning, it’s just not reality.</p>
<p>I just feel awful for these kids and all the stress and expectations on them that are weighing them down. What should be an exciting time in their lives seems to be pure torture.</p>
<p>Instead of being excited about watching my son give a speech this weekend at the NHS dinner as President-the kid who had a friend tell him don’t bother to run because he had no chance against the “popular kid”-but he had the guts to do it anyway-I am badgering him about filling out some research grant proposal for a school he has pretty much eliminated.</p>
<p>Instead of being excited about his upcoming trip to Spain and looking at all the tremendous things he is going to be experiencing over there in a few short weeks I am whining about what awful timing for the trip-I mean it is right in the middle of when he is making his college decision. How could those idiots not have known this?</p>
<p>I have come to realize, and just today, that I am part of the problem.</p>
<p>So here is what I am going to do-or at least try to do-I will not bring up the subject of college in any way, shape or form. If he wants to talk about it I will be here, but I am going to try my very hardest not to introduce the subject.</p>
<p>I have come to realize that my son isn’t the only one who seems like he has been abducted by aliens-I have been too. </p>
<p>I have to tell on myself here because maybe that will give me the motivation to actually keep my word to myself to do this.</p>
<p>This is strictly directed at me-it seems like you guys are doing a much better job of leaving your kids be than I am.</p>
<p>Thanks for being my confessors. :)</p>
<p>I just read the Vanderbilt admissions blog, and their stats for this year are crazy. Applications were up 14% this year, their admit rate is down to 15.455%, and the application stats for the admitted students are extremely high. Every school we’ve heard from is saying the same thing - that applications are way up over last year, etc. So what do you all think is going on? One school’s blog attibuted it to their recruiting efforst and to an upswing in the economy (?!). But I’m wondering if the bleak admissions statistics in recent years are leading more students to apply to more schools, in hopes that casting a wide net will increase their chances. But if that’s the case, it would seem that yields would be lower, since in the end each student can only go to one school. Any other theories?</p>
<p>As for how to prepare for potential disappointment, I’m assuming it varies greatly with the personality of each person. I will share the Vandy admit rate with D1 as she waits for that decision to come in the mail. Her personality is such that having that information will prepare her for the possibility of bad news and help her to understand that it really is the luck of the draw and not a judgement of her if she doesn’t get in. If the news turns out to be good she’ll be all that more happy and, I think, less dissapointed if bad news comes later from another school.</p>
<p>In the meantime, she did finally get some good scholarship news today - Seavers Scholar at Pepperdine which is the highest and most competitive merit scholarship they offer. So now I’d love to know if any of you have any knowlege or experience with Pepperdine. D1 applied there in part because of its location and size, and in part because a counselor at a camp she has attended every summer since 8th grade went there and highgly recommended it. We have yet to visit, and to really check it out for ourselves.</p>
<p>Jumping on the rollercoaster for a second… Congrats on the recent accepts and big hugs to those waitlisted or denied. This certainly has been bumpy.</p>
<p>I just got the mail and a big envelope from son’s #1 choice where he’s been accepted. I sure hope this is financial aid and not a viewbook mistakenly sent! We’ve gotten THREE letters from schools where we we’ve been waiting for financial aid and they are just congratulations and what-a-wonderful-school-we-are. Really nice letters, but really bad timing.</p>
<p>I agree with the earlier comment about how strange it is to classify loans as “aid”. Something you have to pay back is not a gift! As we’re getting the offers, it’s funny to look at the numbers and then have to add up the actual grants, find the actual cost of attendance and then do the math to figure out what the real numbers are. Some colleges are much more transparent then others.</p>
<p>“I agree with the earlier comment about how strange it is to classify loans as “aid”. Something you have to pay back is not a gift! As we’re getting the offers, it’s funny to look at the numbers and then have to add up the actual grants, find the actual cost of attendance and then do the math to figure out what the real numbers are. Some colleges are much more transparent then others.”</p>
<p>My DH did a spread sheet.</p>
<p>CKOFPNG: I was wondering if yields will drop this year also. As you pointed out, each kid can only go to one school. It will be interesting to see if more kids are taken off the waitlist this year. In 2009, there was a lot of waitlist activity, but there wasn’t as much last year.</p>
<p>Pepper: Nice intervention you did with yourself! Hang in there.</p>
<p>Yay for all the good news and sorry for the bad.</p>
<p>Still waiting for 3 schools (one likely rejection) and some scholarship news. DS is in at several schools, but only big state school and one LAC are affordable (due to a scholarship). At least he has an option. </p>
<p>ckofpng: Yes, I think kids are submitting more applications than ever looking for both admits and money. Tough on us and on the schools, whose yields probably vary a lot from year to year. Also, some schools may get popular with a surge in applications and then may drop in popularity when the rejections roll out.</p>
<p>My son did not apply to super reachy schools, primarily because he was looking for some merit $$. So far, admit results as expected, money results more disappointing, but not entirely surprising.</p>
<p>It appears we will not hear from Stanford this Friday. The following article was just posted on the Stanford Admissions News Webpage. (And we wait some more.) :(</p>
<p>An Update on Admission Decisions
March 24, 2011</p>
<p>Freshman applicants should read this update on the release of decisions from the Director of Admission.</p>
<p>The Office of Undergraduate Admission is expected to complete its evaluation and selection process in the next few days. As a result, applicants are asked to refrain from submitting any new updates, notifications of awards or honors, and letters of recommendation. We will no longer be able to consider any new materials sent from this point forward.</p>
<p>We are still on schedule to release all freshman admission decisions on Friday, April 1 after 3pm (Pacific Time). All admission decisions will be sent via email from <a href=“mailto:admission@stanford.edu”>admission@stanford.edu</a> and will be signed by Richard Shaw, Dean of Undergraduate Admission and Financial Aid. Decisions will not be posted on any Stanford Web site and only applicants offered admission will be sent any information by mail. Admitted students will be mailed a packet of materials (including their official offer of admission letter). All other decisions will be sent to students via email including those students offered a space on our waiting list. All admission decisions will be final and given the highly selective nature of our process, we cannot consider any appeals whatsoever. We never, ever reverse an admission decision once it has been officially rendered.</p>
<p>Between now and April 1, please understand that we will not provide any additional information about the release of admission decisions by phone and we will not release any admission decisions over the phone under any circumstances, with the exception of students who have not received their admission decisions beginning the week of April 4.</p>
<p>We have been truly humbled by this year’s selection process. We have tremendous respect for the students who put so much time and effort into their applications and who have worked so hard over the last several years to present us with incredibly compelling cases for consideration.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, roughly 94% of those who have applied will not be offered admission this year. We recognize how stressful this process can be for our applicants but we take great solace in knowing that any student who is even a candidate for admission to a place like Stanford will have wonderful college options, whether it be Stanford or another great university.</p>
<p>With great respect and best wishes to all of our candidates,
Bob</p>
<p>Bob Patterson
Director of Admission</p>
<p>ohiomom and arisamp, i know this is little consolation, but so many kids are experiencing the same feelings your children are. i remember the night my S came home from hearing about his ED school – he looked at the online decision at school b/c he was there until 9 for his EC. when he walked in the door, I gave him a hug and asked if he was OK, and his response was (which i wrote once before on this thread back in dec): I’m Ok but I feel like i’ve disappointed you, dad, my teachers and my counselor. until that moment, i don’t think i appreciated the emotional burden he carried. </p>
<p>as i wrote before, it took every ounce of my being not to get teary and to reply that he’s only been a joy for me, his dad, and even his teachers; that we were disappointed for him because we knew how much he’d like to attend that school but never disappointed in him. a few weeks later, after first semester ended, his teachers who team-teach an interdisciplinary grade-wide course for which his school is well-known, sent him a letter telling him how much his contribution to their class meant to them, that he’s the kind of student who makes their careers worthwhile. i can’t begin to tell you how much that letter means to him. </p>
<p>the good news now is that having lived through that early speed-bump, and having been accepted to other schools that he really likes, I think he’s in a much different emotional place for the upcoming week. </p>
<p>Between tomorrow and next fri, he’ll hear from 9 more schools, including his deferred ED school. he’s on spring break and yesterday he and his dad scaled Angel’s Landing in Zion Nat’l Park. they called me last night and said I wouldn’t have done it 30 yrs ago, let alone now, b/c the last .5 miles is so scary – just hanging onto chains as they scaled their way up to the peak over rock-face, never looking down. about an hour ago, he called me and I asked what he wants to do about tomorrow’s school. i was given permission to look as he doesn’t have internet access, and was told that he’s happy, no matter what. music, relief to my ears. </p>
<p>before he left i did say to him that his hard work, which i know was done for the sheer love of learning, bought him some lottery tickets. he may get lucky w/ some this upcoming week but that he’s already reaped the benefits of his work – he is already well-read, has learned to write beautifully, can understand complicated math/science, but most importantly, he has learned how to learn and will continue to do so anywhere he lands, and hopefully for the rest of his life. what more can anyone want? (well, other than a secure job someday 
)</p>
<p>missypie, i loved your Gore posting. nothing makes a better story than human resilience.</p>
<p>my congrats to pepper for her self-recognition. I don’t think you’re alone in being college -focused here. look at the rest of us! my poor freshman thinks that nothing else matters right now. </p>
<p>madbean, congrats again on the USC film school acceptance, and everyone with good news. </p>
<p>i can’t tell all of you how glad i am share this ride in the upcoming week. before we know it, we’ll be able to hop off!</p>
<p>ckofpng - Conrats on the Seaver. We visited Pepperdine, it is a beautiful school. It is unlike any campus I’'ve every seen, as it is on the face of a hill. What is not to like about Malibu? I have heard it is on the conservative side. That is about all I know.</p>
<p>I have several friends who have taught at Pepperdine. It is, indeed, a beautiful campus and has great resources (for study abroad, research opportunities with faculty, etc.). It’s a Church of Christ school (like Abeline Christian University and other smaller schools) so tends to be relatively conservative, but I don’t think in an exclusionary sort of way.</p>
<p>I agree that the stats coming out from Vanderbilt and Stanford continue to point to what a brutal year this could be … helping our kids with resilence (and working on it ourselves!) is going to be quite a challenge!</p>
<p>RenMom - you can’t hop off We’ll only be riding a slightly different roller coaster once this is done! The 10’s had a ship sailing during the entire month of May called SS Indecision - we should be doing something similar - heading on a cruise :)</p>
<p>“before he left i did say to him that his hard work, which i know was done for the sheer love of learning, bought him some lottery tickets. he may get lucky w/ some this upcoming week but that he’s already reaped the benefits of his work – he is already well-read, has learned to write beautifully, can understand complicated math/science, but most importantly, he has learned how to learn and will continue to do so anywhere he lands, and hopefully for the rest of his life. what more can anyone want? (well, other than a secure job someday )”</p>
<p>RenMom: I love this! So true, and so important for them to realize, too. This is but a bump in the road, and whatever the outcome of the admissions decisions or scholarship decisions, it’s important to know that we have helped to prepare them well for life.</p>
<p>You are really a terrific bunch of people. What a great support this thread is.</p>
<p>Pepper - you are a classy dame. Believe me, I’ve had many of the same feelings, and I know I’ve blown it with her just when I should have been the most supportive. It’s just hard, and we’re all in the same boat.</p>
<p>I’m clinging to the stories so many friends have told me about how this process did NOT ruin their relationships with their kids forever. Sometimes I do really worry about that.</p>
<p>I went to school conferences today for the last time. It was very nice to hear lovely things about D2, and hear people’s good wishes for her. Several also asked about D1, and sympathized with her current job hunt. There really are plenty of very nice people in this world.</p>
<p>Bright and early we leave on the 3-day choir tour! D has said to please hold all college news until we are back. So no logging in tomorrow as I’d hoped … although I’ll have my laptop with me if she changes her mind.</p>
<p>“Her problem last night with going on the wait list was this - we haven’t visited Rice. If she does get off the wait list (sometime after May 1st?), I’ve heard that typically they require a response from you asap. She doesn’t know if she can respond, not having ever visited the school. She liked the school a lot, based on internet research - but is that good enough?”</p>
<p>Arisamp - Rice is a great school, with a very attractive campus, but having lived in Houston (actually not far from Rice), I really think you need to do a visit. Houston is a lot like LA - lots of great things there, but not necessarily a great place to live. It is a sprawling collection of lots of people that I believe does not have the feel or personality of a city, but does have all the drawbacks of a big city plus some that are uniquely Houston. If you have any specific questions, please feel free to send me a private message.</p>
<p>Emmybet: Have a great trip. I guess this is “the last field trip.” I’m sure that it will be hard to wait to check results, but your daughter is smart to wait unti she’s home.</p>
<p>ckofpng: Congrats on the Pepperdine scholarship. I’ve never visited the school, but the setting looks beautiful.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago my D1 was very stressed about finding a summer internship. She got her first offer today, and has several interviews next week. It’s a good thing we bought that suit while she was home for spring break. Now she’s stressed about making a decision. See, picking a college is only the beginning.</p>
<p>Emmybet - Enjoy the trip! Hope it’s filled with great memories and good weather!
RenMom - Wow, you really got me tearing up. I do push the little bugger (ds) but I know I should be enjoying the ride and not screaming the entire way through. Ds feels the same way about disappointing me and regretting not working harder on sat-prep, on that scholarship app, on perfecting that essay…he is the kind of kid (rare) who always says “I’m sorry” in response to everything - he’s sorry about running the shower for 20 min., for forgetting to bring a paper in to school (which I ferry in for him), for his car breaking down…for being in past curfew. I’m so sorry to him about Michigan, I can’t tell you how long today I have spent looking for jobs online today. If that came through, he could go anywhere his little heart desired.
ckopng - Congrats on Pepperdine!<br>
We all need to have a little drink together someday, I am so glad for this thread, for the companionship on this road or ride, whatever you want to call it.</p>
<p>Just a question - what do your kids do after prom? Here, prom is Thurs night so Fri is senior “cut” day. After prom, alot (aka all) head out for a 3 day weekend at the jersey shore. This is where it gets dicey - some chaperoned, some not, some parents have houses and chaperone by buying all the beer. My ds’ date is a jr. so she will not be partaking in any of this so ds is being cajoled into going with 4 friends and their dates, and two moms to some hotel at the shore for 3 nights. These moms will do the driving and not be serving alcohol (one has a political office to concern herself with - doesn’t want her son sullying her rep), make sure no damage is done and basically classically chaperone. Funny thing is these moms want the boys to foot their bill for the weekend. Funny world huh?</p>
<p>I love this thread. I chuckle, nod in agreement and tear up with great regularity. </p>
<p>missypie, love the Al Gore reference (of course, I used to think he was hot so I am biased. I actually dreamt I was married to him.)</p>
<p>Pepper, I love your new resolution!</p>
<p>Renmom, I am sure that trip will do your son a world of good. We spent a couple days last week hiking. It cleared all of our heads and got us back in touch with each other and our priorities. And I love what you said about the lottery tickets. Perfect!</p>
<p>A big couple of days coming up. Wishing everybody success!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Grew up in northern NJ
and after prom, and …, </p>
<p>yeah…</p>
<p>we went to “the shore”…and it wasn’t nearly warm enough…</p>
<p>as a grown parent who used to be a teen…you should be concerned…mawahhaaaa
Then again the drinking age was 18…</p>
<p>So no good advice…</p>
<p>Thankfully that kind of tradition doesn’t exist here…the prom is a Sat night and our student won’t be heading to anyone’s house for “the weekend”</p>