<p>Good morning everyone!</p>
<p>collegemaw ~ I am so sorry to hear the FA not coming through…</p>
<p>kinderny ~ Hurray for Hampshire!</p>
<p>myLB ~ Yay for “miami of brohio”!</p>
<p>Proudmom – That’s a great list. DS was accepted to Midwestern State (they have a men’s soccer team!) but it was kind of a funny reason why he applied there: here in Texas, we have a deal called ApplyTexas which is sort of like the Common Application but just for certain Texas schools. Back in the fall, on the day all the juniors were taking the PSAT, the seniors could have an excused absence that morning IF they completed an ApplyTexas app to any school. He picked MWSU and we sent his test scores and $25 application fee (or whatever it was). Our school district had a college fair last October that DS and I went to, and the MWSU rep who was there was most knowledgeable and helpful, plus she knew the soccer coach AND had a soccer schedule in her briefcase! I was very impressed with that school.</p>
<p>UNT is just up the road a bit from my hometown (where my parents still live). UNT is known for its music school mostly. Denton is a small college town and doesn’t have a whole lot of stuff to do outside of school, but of course is very close to both Dallas and Fort Worth, where there is lots and lots of stuff going on. </p>
<p>St. Ed’s is where DS would have gone if soccer had turned out a little bit different. I have a niece about to graduate from there who has absolutely loved it. Last summer, she went to Italy for three weeks on a grant to basically write a research paper. What a deal! This year, she has made the first cut to be a Fulbright Scholar, and if she succeeds, she will go to Turkey. It is a great school and a gorgeous campus, up on the hill overlooking downtown Austin. </p>
<p>Texas State in San Marcos is another gorgeous campus and San Marcos is a cool town. I graduated from a large university in Texas in 1983, and after I got married and moved to Austin, decided to get my teaching certification. I went to Texas State for it (back when it was called Southwest Texas State). I was already in my early 30’s, so I was not a “traditional” student, but the people down there in the education department were amazing and so helpful. San Marcos is a perfect place situated between Austin and San Antonio.</p>
<p>So, Proudmom, if I can help find out anything for you, let me know! And welcome (back!) to Texas!!</p>
<p>Good luck to Proudmom’s D! It brings a tear to the eye that her new search is going so well, and that people here can help make it happen. </p>
<p>Keep us posted; I’m enjoying all of the info and news. She’ll get her happy ending!</p>
<p>Good morning all.</p>
<p>I have a big issue that I need help with. My daughter has chosen a college an hour from home, which is wonderful. Her boyfriend was also considering going there (it was his dream school), but his financial aid appeal was denied just yesterday; it will be a stretch for him to attend, and he is crushed. He has another option about an hour away that’s the most likely scenario.</p>
<p>When D was considering schools far away, taking a car to college was never in the picture. But now that her school is an hour away, she has assumed she will take our (3rd) car, and I haven’t said otherwise because my husband and I hadn’t discussed it at all, as he has been out of the country the past couple of weeks. Yesterday, I mentioned to him that I was concerned that D will leave campus every weekend to go see her BF (who does not have a car), and my H very adamantly said, “She is not taking the car to campus.”</p>
<p>I completely understand his reasons for her to not take the car. 1) It’s our extra car, but it’s an SUV that comes in handy for a lot of reasons, as our other two cars are tiny. 2) We want her to be immersed in college life 24/7. 3) Worry about accidents. 4) She will be very busy as a pre-med and probably won’t have time to go places, anyway, while the car just sits there outside and undriven.</p>
<p>But telling her this on top of the devastating news that BF can’t afford her school, it’s like pouring salt on a wound. Then again, telling her soon might light a fire under BF to figure something out before May 1, or for him to get his own car. I don’t want it to seem like we’re thwarting the relationship, which is completely untrue. I like her BF a lot, and was hoping they’d be able to go to the same school.</p>
<p>So, any advice on how to break this news? Should I make H tell her? ;)</p>
<p>hi OM:</p>
<p>In our house, we had a rule…no car until after, at least, first semester; adjustment to college, grades, new experiences…
this is not about the BF, but rather about starting college…there are other ways to get around, I’m assuming?? and other ways for her to see the BF??</p>
<p>is the zipcar program available to her? at least, then, it would take a bit of effort on her part to jump in the car and “run”…and encourage her to stay on campus and become part of campus life…</p>
<p>O’mom - Nothing is ever simple is it? I’d tell her now. I’m sure you’ll be gentle. I agree that a car may not be the best idea her first year. You don’t want her (or bf) to assume there will be a car when there won’t. I’m a full disclosure at first light kinda girl. It’s not always the easiest, or right answer…but at least I’m pretty consistent. :-/</p>
<p>ORMom- I was the bearer of bad news re no car on campus for my D. She was not happy, and that was at least part of her delay in choosing a college since accepted student day last Sat. at Hampshire.<br>
In your place, I think this is one of the times when I would not give my D much of an explanation, as she would argue with all of your listed points. I think I would tell her that borrowing the car for set times will be possible, but you are not willing to give her a car her first year away at college- that you are just not comfortable with it and sometimes the larger car is needed at home. Tell her you will revisit the issue after her first year at school and evaluate the situation. If you tell her the reasons, she may think that they all boil down to “you don’t trust me”.</p>
<p>There are lots of schools that don’t let any freshmen have cars on campus. </p>
<p>We’ll have to have the similar discussion with DS. He will have his car on campus, and his GF will be at a school about 30 miles away. Not sure if she will have a car or not, but I want him to know that he will not be driving back and forth every day to visit her. Luckily, his sport is a fall sport, so he’s going to be busy with practices and games. Nothing against the GF at all, but a 60-mile round trip, which would take at least 30 minutes each way and probably more, plus the cost of gas these days, it’s just not something he needs to get in the habit of.</p>
<p>Sorry, blue, for your news. Just heartbreaking. I cannot imagine the grief for the families and the community. I hope bluejr. is managing ok.</p>
<p>Sincere congrats to those of you leaving the boat. I envy you and wish you well! What a happy time for your families.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear of the FA issues for our kids and their friends. </p>
<p>I am quite unsettled. In three days we leave for the last visit. Praying D loves it. She has two strong academics, likeable, good fit other choices, but is not totally fired up about either. Then there is the wait list school (which GC said was definitely a yield protection WL which just infuriates me; what gives a school the right to decide D’s true interest?). D has written a good interest letter; anyone think she should offer to visit/interview on campus? Part of me thinks the exhibitied interest would help, but part of me wants to embrace the birds in hand (and save the airfare). GC will definitely call and tell admissions that D will take offer if it comes. </p>
<p>I miss seeing my D’s beautiful smile. Between three dings, the waitlist, prom drama, 6 impending AP tests, and a sport “plateau,” she is not her usual self. I will keep an eye on her, stealthily put some gas in her car, ignore the messy room, and remember how blessed she/we are. I think we are all hugging our kids a bit tighter after blue’s news.</p>
<p>I agree with the no car rule at least for a year. You and H should deliver the news together - just my 2 cents.</p>
<p>I agree with the no car on campus during the first year rule (especially under these circumstances). I never had one, but UVa absolutely prohibited them the first year, which I think is a very good idea. Students need to settle in and make a committment, educational and social, to their colleges. Going elsewhere on weekends would really hamper both.</p>
<p>Regarding financial aid appeals - I think repeated contact (probably no more than once or twice a week) with the financial aid offices may pay off. I can always come up with some excuse for contacting them, whether a question, or some additional information. I just got a call from one I e-mailed and left a message for yesterday, so at least some do respond to contact!</p>
<p>Big question: I think it is the case that you can only make a deposit with one university at a time, and must rescind the acceptance of the offer of that university before making a deposit with another. With May 1 looming, it would be tempting to send a deposit to each so that financial aid offers would be final. Does anyone know for sure?</p>
<p>mnmomof2: I hope that your last visit is a winner. I’ll be thinking of you and your dd.</p>
<p>Land HO!! - Puma son is disembarking - finally! He received notice yesterday of a great scholarship and will be sending in his deposit to Whitman College. At the beginning of his search, this was his least likely choice, as even though he liked the school, his older brother went there and he was loathe to be “Puma 1’s brother” - but the more he visited and the more he learned – the less that mattered.
Their majors and interests are very different (and their personalities 
so they may not run in similar circles, anyway. And older S is graduating next month.
Son is thrilled & we are thrilled :)</p>
<p>Blue - this news is so devastating - I hope you can help your family and your son’s friends through such a hard time. When we experienced a similar time, it was so so sad, but also gave us space for a very real kind of conversation that was needed and really heard. Our prayers and good thoughts are with you!</p>
<p>And congrats to all the other ship-hoppers ~ when does the dancing start?</p>
<p>Yay for Whitman, puma12!</p>
<p>mnmomof2- good luck to your D finding a place she wants to call home for 4 years. Hope the visit helps. We were in your position last week and the visit made all the difference for my D to see herself as going there.</p>
<p>Hurray for Puma’s S2. It is great that he found what he wanted and realized that just because S1 went there, it could still be a good fit for him.
Dancing has already commenced- come join in.</p>
<p>Congrats Puma…</p>
<p>How many of us are still onboard?</p>
<p>mnmomof2 - I can relate to what you said about missing your daughter’s smile…I hope she finds her school. The more visits we went on the more confused D became. I just want to see her happy, smiling and just being her normal ‘goofball’.</p>
<p>@proudmom – one more thing: several pages back, I had posted about our niece whose freshman orientation t-shirt for her school had the campus map printed upside down, so you could look down at your shirt and read the map . . . that was St. Edward’s. :)</p>
<p>Well, I ripped off the bandage and broke the bad news to D before school this morning. Her immediate response is that she’ll get a job and buy her own car. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, especially since she currently has no job and not enough savings to buy a car. I wish freshman weren’t allowed cars on campus, and then the situation would be moot and I wouldn’t be the bad guy here. She’s mad, but took it better than I expected she would (no tears).</p>
<p>mnmomof2: I hope your last visit goes well and D falls in love with it!</p>
<p>puma: I love Whitman College! It’s a beautiful campus in a lovely little town. I’ve heard students are very happy there. D knows a few people that attend, and another who will be there next year as a freshman. Congrats to your son on a great choice.</p>
<p>
There’s no easy route between the two colleges. She could take Amtrak to Portland and then buses out to his school. I don’t believe her school has a zipcar, but I can check. Normally people have to be >25 years old to rent a car - obviously zipcar doesn’t have that restriction? I don’t know much about it, but it probably costs quite a bit to rent the car for a weekend, I would think.</p>
<p>puma12–
Congrats on Whitman; as an alum from there in the dark ages, I remain a huge fan of the school. I may even have been on the same scholarship as your son, if it begins with “G.” I truly believe that if Whitman were in the NE it would be a top 20 rated school. It is such a well-rounded environment. Tried to get both of my sons to go there, but a poor FA offer for the first one and other options for the second prevented that.</p>
<p>oregonianmon–Ixna on the arca.</p>
<p>I believe that I can announce my son’s disembarkation. Last night he pressed the “I accept” button on Princeton’s website. I have to offer my most sincere thanks to all the people at CC from whom I have learned SO much. We come from a town with virtually no experience in elite university admissions. No college counselors; no test prep firms. There are so many subtle, yet significant, tricks to running this gauntlet successfully, and I would not have known any of them without the insights I got here.</p>
<p>Sending a kid to a school like Princeton was never something we particularly aspired to. The deal was that he had to do well enough in school to get decent merit at an LAC; the better he did, the better the LAC we could afford for him. As he continued to perform, his possibility set kept drifting up. I am so glad that I was able to do my part in terms of strategy that allowed him to be serious contender. AND that years of financial planning and living frugally makes covering our EFC feasible, with only a few Ramen meals a week.</p>
<p>He is still holding out a glimmer of hope that he will get off the waitlist at a very niche program that is about as different from Princeton as is possible. But that program has kept him in limbo for a couple of months and acceptance is not at all likely at this point, so I am ever so glad to see him moving on emotionally and allowing himself to get excited about another option.</p>