Parents of the HS Class of 2011 - We're awesome!

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
2021

<p>cooker - we had same issue with S’s assigned roommate. It was a real turnoff for S, even though he knew it wasn’t personal. After that he refused to communicate with roomie til about a week ago. Needless to say roommate was unable to get assigned another dorm so I am glad that S is at least texting this guy. </p>

<p>I am starting to panic about being ready to fly out on Monday. Thursday is S’s last day at work. Friday he has appts to get his second gardasil shot and have his and lil S’s picture taken. I want him to get a haircut Thursday, something I am sure I will have to nag him about. He is going to want to run out of the house right after he showers when he gets home from work. I gave him money to buy new clothes and sneakers. He has bought 4 tee shirts. …sigh. We are away this weekend and may have to visit the outlets in Maine to finish up the shopping, if he hasn’t done any tonight. Unlikely. That will be a joy I am sure I am going to have to drag him kicking and screaming, unless…I can get one of his cousins to go with him. </p>

<p>Move ins seem to be going well. yeah!</p>

2022

<p>Great stories. Congrats mad bean on a relatively easy move in. Hugs to all shedding tears. We all share your emotions.</p>

2023

<p>congrats madbean on a great movein…hoping ours is as smooth!!</p>

<p>I felt a bit like a helicopter parent earlier this evening. I was out at the weekly trivia event and told my friend, who is launching her D to American U this weekend, my story about my d’s teeshirts (see my last post…)…she gave me a look and said that she had no idea what her d was bringing, that she left it all up to her…
smile and nod… different strokes I guess…</p>

2024

<p>madbean – way to go! COngrats on a smooth transition! I can tell how happy, proud and relieved you feel. </p>

<p>shawbridge – I had a clothing allowance in high school, and D asked why I never gave her one. Would $150-$200/month do it? What she will realize is: some months she spends much less than the allotted amount, and then some months, she needs a new winter coat or special dress so she spends more.</p>

<p>Did the move in today with D. At the track at 6:30 am, back to hotel for shower and change, then move in from 10:00 to 11:45. Hectic, but it all worked.</p>

<p>Lots of tears from D on the way down to Atlanta. “I wish I was home I don’t know anyone there I don’t want to be here this is the worst day of my life.” I started thinking we’d made a huge mistake. Maybe she wasn’t the kind of kid who was meant to go to college. Maybe she’d go for a semester or two, then drop out. Maybe…she’d end up like…A.J. Soprano!</p>

<p>Then she found a girl she’d met in NYC, then she met that girl’s roommate, and they were both nice and friendly, and I think she warmed up to the whole college thing. But there’s that point somewhere between packing the final bag and arriving at campus where it hits them – I’m leaving home, and all my friends, and I don’t know anyone. And they get really quiet. </p>

<p>Hope everyone who had a move-in had it go smoothly. Good luck to all who follow.</p>

2025

<p>Classof2015, glad transitional jitters have subsided.</p>

<p>I was thinking about an annual budget, because, as you pointed out, shopping is lumpy. </p>

<p>We got LL her Bean thermal/Gore-Tex boots last year (great for Massachusetts winters) and yesterday we got her the winter jacket for the next four years (I hope). Her Canadian friends told her that the best coat is Canada Goose and that getting a good coat really matters. They’re apparently very trendy – lots of counterfeit coats on the net because they are expensive – kind of like North Face but they really make a difference. [Canada</a> Goose Trillium Parka](<a href=“http://www.canada-goose.com/products-2/womens/trillium-parka/]Canada”>http://www.canada-goose.com/products-2/womens/trillium-parka/). Given that she has no body fat, lots of insulation will be a good thing for a long winter. So, the big stuff is taken care of.</p>

<p>She’s not starting from scratch. She’s got jeans and yoga pants and dresses and shirts and shoes etc. She’s very comfortable shopping at Forever 21 and TJ Maxx rather than expensive stores, but she’s very comfortable shopping. But jeans wear out and new dresses require new shoes, etc. So, the question is: how much do you “need” to buy in a year to be a stylish upper-middle-class girl. So, perhaps this is a $200 a month thing ($2400 for the year). That sounds high to me, but who knows.</p>

<p>And makeup. ShawWife never really figured out makeup but ShawD studies it and uses every day. From the male perspective, one would think she had a lifetime supply, but if you use it, you use it up and need to replace. Is this $25 a month?</p>

<p>[I’m afraid I’m making her seem far more materialistic and shallow than she is, but she does pay attention to how she looks and dresses].</p>

<p>kinderny, how do these numbers relate to what you are giving your D?</p>

2026

<p>Shawbridge, I am stumped on a clothing budget. D can spend $ with best of them. I finally conceded that there was no way she could buy anything warm enough for Chicago down here right now (105 degrees today)…I conceded that yes, she’ll have to shop up there. To what have I agreed?! Loved the Canadian goose down coat. Wonder if I can find one.</p>

<p>My D also said goodbye to her BF tonight. She went through most of HS without one, but just this summer has been going out with a very nice guy.</p>

<p>By tomorrow, all of her friends will be gone. We’ll have another week. Poor younger D. She starts school Monday and we’ve bought nary a school supply (but she does have a couple of outfits bought in Amsterdam, so she’s cool with that.)</p>

<p>I can’t sleep. I feel ill.</p>

<p>All of you who have launched have done such a great job. I feel as if every aspect of my life is falling apart.</p>

2027

<p>MP, I’ve always thought purchasing school supplies was a symbolic, ritualistic kind of thing rather than something functional. Order some notebooks, paper and pencils/pens online from Staples and have them deliver it to your house the next day. Get a scientific calculator or protractor if needed. </p>

<p>You can get the Canada Goose jackets online as well. Paragon Sports in NY, The Tannery in Cambridge, MA, and Amazon all sell them online. But, it would probably be good to try them on. ShawD got an XS because it fit really nicely but a little tight and thus was warm, but didn’t leave room for sweater or blazer underneath (or we hope not but possible freshman 15), so she exchanged for a small.</p>

2028

<p>Congrats to all the successful launchees and their support staffs. We leave in a week; I just took down the bags that D1 will use, and she’s started on the process. </p>

<p>shawbridge, I took a look at that Canada Goose parka–and then I saw the price. :eek: Coming from Southern California, I have no sense of what is really needed, or how much it would cost, to get a coat that will keep D1 protected over a Boston winter. The thought of losing a coat that costs that much fills me with cold dread. :)</p>

2029

<p>Hey Shawbridge, do you think this is a site that actually sells knockoffs? It looks legit, but when you go to the FAQ, the answers were written by someone who does not appear to write in English very well (and yes, I know some people speak French in Canada, but read the FAQ and you’ll see why I’m suspicious.)</p>

<p>[FAQs</a> : Canada Goose,Canada Goose parka,Canada Goose jackets outlet](<a href=“canada-gooses.com - canadagooses canada gooses Resources and Information.”>canada-gooses.com - canadagooses canada gooses Resources and Information.)</p>

<p>Edited to add: It must be a knock-off site with some pirated content. The legit site is canada-goose and this one is canada-gooses.</p>

2030

<p>Hi all,
Writing from the hotel down the street from d’s school…up and out early in the a.m. To get to bbb and target before moving d in at 1 pm. Can’t believe it’s really here! After d came home from the whole summer away 3 days ago, I was thrilled to see packing go really smoothly. Our only OMG moment occurred last night when d realized that she didn’t have a bag for her lacrosse stick (the kind she has she was certain the airlines wouldn’t let her check and it’s too big to take on board). At that point sports authority was closing in 20 min but dh suggested his golf travel bag. That thing is huge! Unpacked one of the boxes and put those items in the golf bag. Ended up all working out well but there were a few worrisome moments there.</p>

<p>Love reading everyone’s stories…I don’t post that often but do feel quite a sense of camaraderie as we all travel down this road.</p>

<p>Allowance: when each of my d’s turned 16 and began to drive, we moved from an allowance that was mostly for entertainment to one that covered everything (clothes, makeup, etc). They received $200 per month. When d1 went to college she started offbat that level and it worked pretty well until she joined a sorority and we increased it to 250 and than 300 and there it will stay. When she left for college we did buy her a coat, boots, etc so she didn’t really need anything for awhile. She did have a full board plan but this amount includes entertainment, food ouside of her board plan, etc. D2 will start off at $200 also but she will attend a rural rather than a city school and I’m guessing her expenses will be lower in general. Hope that helps.</p>

2031

<p>OMG, there is a post on the parents of S’s school FB page worrying now about how to come up with the rest of the money to pay for D’s school. Looks like she was counting on some local scholarships to come through which didn’t. And she isn’t sure she will qualify for “another” loan. There really should be a law that GC need to talk to parents and kids about how to pay for college before they start applying and after they get accepted. It doesn’t always just fall into place. I feel badly for the women and her D.</p>

2032

<p>For all of you who have children who will be living in the “Frozen Tundra”, as we like to call Massachusetts in the winter, I would wait on getting a super warm winter coat. Both of my Ds and basically every kid in the high school never wore what I would call a 'real winter coat", except when they went skiing or winter camping. My girls lived in their good old fashioned North Face fleece jackets. I would suggest investing in a good pair of waterprrof, fleece lined snow boots and gloves. The snow was awful last year, and getting your ‘cute shoes’ wet with slush and snow at 8AM can ruin your day. We bought D a great pair of Sorrells at REI, and she wore them every day. She said it wast he best investment we made.</p>

<p>The worse are the boys who would wear shorts (yes, shorts) and hoodies to school when it was snowing and 20 degrees outside. We have a friend whose son goes to Champlain in VT. I have honeslty never seen that boy wear a pair of pants. I asked him if he wears pants when he is in Vermont. He said “only if he has to.”</p>

2033

<p>Today is A-level results day here in the UK – it’s when students find out if they’ve gotten the exam results to meet the terms of the “conditional “ acceptances they got from their universities months ago – ie it’s when they find out if they’re actually off to uni in September (October for Oxbridge). Today’s Times had a feature which reminded me of some of the discussions here:</p>

<p>UNI? IT’S IN THE BAG</p>

<p>In just a few weeks parents across the country will be sending their little darlings off to university, leaving them with nothing but an empty nest and even emptier bank balance. While you are worrying about filling their sock drawer and they are busy working out how to use a washing machine, the UniSak promises to take care of the rest.</p>

<p>According to the blurb, it contains everything “to sustain a healthy, happy and responsible life as a hard-working and independent student”, which is all that any first year could ask for. Among the 80 staple items that no digs can do without are saucepans, plates, cutlery, stationery and a tin opener. An alarm clock seems a hopeful addition, as does a bath towel, but bin liners are always useful and there’s plenty of Tupperware for all that leftover pasta and sauce.</p>

<p>Others items include a polyester UniSak pencil case that will surely be the envy of fellow students, and the manufacturers have even remembered those forgotten incidentals that make every fresher slap his or her head in frustration: extension leads, oven gloves and a doorstop.</p>

<p>It’s not entirely sensible, though.</p>

<p>The duvets and covers may be standard-issue single but UniSak has forgotten that its recipient may not be: there is not a condom in sight, and the slippers and toiletries bag are unlikely to impress a girl the next morning. There are, however, four shot glasses to help you on your way.</p>

<p>For £149.99 you certainly get a lot of clobber. There is, however, one glaring omission: Blu-Tack.</p>

<p>Everybody knows that a student’s room is held together with Blu-Tack. It keeps posters of Kurt Cobain and Che Guevara hanging on the wall, and it sticks the handle back on your favourite mug (badly).</p>

<p>Based on this factor alone, UniSak might not put Argos (or the college bar) out of business just yet.</p>

2034

<p>Northface or a Carhartt are what my Boston S wears in the winter. He only wears his warm Spyder jacket when skiing. He wears construction boots when it is snowing. he wouldn’t be caught dead in LLBean or other regular winter boots. He is bringing his Northface to school in Milwaukee and will bring his Carhartt back with him at Thanksgiving. OTOH, except for sneakers, my S has never beenone to worry about fashion. He rarely wears gloves or a winter hat except when skiing. I don’t expect him to wear either at school although I will send out both. I have seen him running around outside in a baseball cap in snowstorms.</p>

2035

<p>The night in the hotel before move-in, I woke up and felt awful. Just awful. Exactly like missypie said:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Which I think is how D felt. It’s the strangest thing – this big event that both of us looked forward to in our own way – it doesn’t feel like you think it would. That’s the most surprising thing about this whole process (that, and wondering why I didn’t buy stock in BB&B…)</p>

2036

<p>It looks like we’ve moved from a boat (SS Indecision) to a roller coaster.</p>

<p>Madbean: I’m glad to hear that your move-in went so smoothly. </p>

<p>Momofzach: Your son’s GF sounds like a sweetheart. </p>

<p>Classof2015: I’m glad to hear that things improved for your daughter once she got to school. I suspect that being on the track team will make it easy for her to make friends and find her niche.</p>

<p>Collage1: I can’t imagine getting everything ready in 3 days. Good luck with the move-in today.</p>

<p>Missypie: Hugs! Hang in there.</p>

2037

<p>madbean: I fear that when we arrive with our stuffed full car that we will scare the daylights out of S2’s roommate who is an international student and might not have the opportunity to bring all the stuff that S2 is dragging to campus. His roommate will move in this weekend (early move-in date for internationals) so he will be settled in by the time S2 arrives on Tuesday. Maybe he will not notice all the stuff?</p>

<p>It reminds me a bit of S1’s freshman move in day. Not so much as far as the quantity of stuff, but as to differences in parental attitudes. S1 and I had come up with a game plan in advance – I would start on the bed and he would work on putting away his clothing. Then he would move to electronics and I would help to organize the desk. When we arrived, his roommate and his parents were already there. Roommate was busy hanging posters – though all of his other things remained in boxes and bags around the room. Roommate’s parents sat in the two desk chairs and pleasantly chatted with us as we moved into action. At one point, Roommate’s mom said that maybe she should help with his bed. Roommate’s dad practically shouted, “No! Stop mothering him! He can do this himself!” There I was, wrestling sheets onto the bottom bunk, hot and sweaty – quite the sight, I’m sure. Roommate’s parents chatted on, never moving from their chairs. I wondered if I had this all wrong. I will say, though, that I had a sense of satisfaction in knowing that the bed was made with clean sheets (maybe the only time that semester), the desk was organized, and I was able to haul away empty boxes when I left. I “mothered” that kiddo until we got into the car to drive home. Roommate may have taken more ownership of the process, but my son had a nicely made bed. Different approaches.</p>

2038

<p>missypie - hugs! </p>

<p>I found great comfort in an e-mail from the dean of residential life (or some title like that). Basically it said:your kids are competent and we have systems in place to help. It helped me realize that everything does not have to be perfect day one and that any speedbumps can be dealt with. I know a large part of orientation is making students aware of the resources (academic, health, residential life, etc.). </p>

<p>I am feeling some mother guilt about younger bro. So much attention and effort on D this entire year and especially these past two weeks. He starts HS soon and is already working hard and doing well in his fall sport, but getting less than half of the family support (and mom is grumpy and tired). Plus, he adores D and will miss her terribly. He seems happy and is busy with his life, but still…</p>

<p>This time next week, we will all be at school moving her in. I expect H and son will be on a tour (they have never seen school) and D will be organizing while I clean, remove boxes, etc. She spent the night at school and is leaving for an outdoor trip as I type. Hooray!</p>

2039

<p>congrats to madbean and all those who’ve had successful move-ins…I’m reading your posts and feeling encouraged.</p>

2040

<p>SlitheyTove, we live in the Boston exurbs, not that far from where your D1 is going to school. None of us have coats that serious or expensive. Actually, I have one – bought many years ago when I had to walk across a footbridge over the Charles River every morning at 8:15 or so – for normal day to day wear that kind of coat is not needed and is too warm. And, it is not necessary to buy that expensive a coat. ShawD’s school is literally on the northern shore of Lake Ontario (her dorm is less than 2 blocks from the lake and part of that is a park right on the shore) and it apparently gets seriously cold in the winters.</p>

<p>My Canadian wife (and many other Canadians) tell me there is no such thing as cold, just inadequate clothing. The super-expensive coat we bought for ShawD has a coyote-fur fringe to the hood. In the US, that would be politically incorrect (although I’m not sure that people are as connected to coyotes as they are to rabbits and minks, but who knows). No Canadian I know is upset by the use of fur – they are more concerned with being warm. A family friend in Ottawa is a typically left-wingy, PC college student and she strongly recommended that Canada Goose coat to ShawD.</p>

<p>But, Massachusetts is not Canada. ShawSon in Western Massachusetts wears a Weatherproof jacket we got at Costco from $29 or something like that when the weather is seriously bad and a hoodie covered by a leather jacket. He did ask for a wool hat partway through last year (his sophomore year). He is, like lots of boys, seriously warm-blooded. Shorts get worn until it is literally freezing out. mamom, I think your son is pretty typical. ShawSon plays tackle football with his friends in the snow over Christmas break.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t assume a boy’s dressing approach to work for girls. For example, it seems the tall insulated LL Bean boots are fashionable for the girls at the prep school ShawD attended. But, I think gsmomma is correct: Don’t shop now; you have until Thanksgiving before it gets cold and your D can see what other girls are wearing. North Face is the trendy thing in MA as far as I can see. There is an increase in elevation as one goes west from Boston and you get more snow as you go farther out, but I think the change in elevation is in Belmont (on what we call Belmont Hill). There are days when I drive from Cambridge west on Route 2 and it is raining at the bottom of Belmont Hill and snowing at the top. I think Tufts would be at the bottom of the hill, though I’m not sure. In any event, it is highly likely that a girl will want waterproof (and probably thermally insulated) boots. ShawD’s HS had a campus more like a college – they had to go outside from building to building for classes, lunch, etc. and so she has stylish, uninsulated rubber boots (gotten for very little) plus the Bean boots.</p>

<p>I typically wear either a fancy something-skin (goat? sheep?) long jacket with an insulated lining that I got in Sweden or Denmark (good for business stuff) or a Gore-tex shell over a 200 or 300 weight fleece. The latter weight is actually plenty warm for anything in Massachusetts and too warm for things like skiing. For me, hats, gloves and boots with serious insulation make a huge difference walking around, but you wouldn’t necessarily want to wear those boots everyday to class as your feet would be too hot.</p>

<p>missypie, highly likely to be a knock-ff.</p>