<p>Hi, all–joining you from the 3.0-3.3 thread. DS is looking forward to heading off to Southern Oregon University in the fall–we went down to Ashland for the registration/orientation last week and he’s got his class schedule in hand. It’s going to be a looooong summer, waiting for classes to start at the end of September!</p>
<p>Another Newbie - I am delighted to find this thread! Haven’t been back on CC for a long time and stumbled on all of your great posts!</p>
<p>My D (my only child!) will be going to Stanford in the fall. By all counts she was headed to the East Coast (we live in So Cal). She did a total about-face and is completely thrilled with everything about Stanford! And I am so happy that we are going to be in the same time zone!</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the helpful information and support - I have lots more to say - but it will have to wait for another time.</p>
<p>Wow - I was gone 3 weeks and I am about 40 pages behind on the old thread and 10 pages here. I may try to skim over those unread pages but don’t know if I will have time as I have a mountain of work waiting for me as well. Anyhow, we are back from our cruise and vacation in Italy. We put the in-laws on their plane back to Australia late this afternoon and will spend the rest of the weekend getting the house back in order. Our graduation party (way back on the 10th) was a huge success and is now a fond memory.</p>
<p>Looks like it may be time to start the “Move-in” countdown!</p>
<p>Looking forward to staying current with this new thread. Final congrats to the final graduates and Cheers to all for the 4th of July.</p>
<p>Wow…so many posts!
Yesterday my d and I spent lots of time (and money) buying stuff to outfit her dorm room. (For those of you on the old thread…YES she finally cleaned her room…and sad to say I think now it is the neatest in the house, so I better get cracking myself!). We had lots of fun! Still have more stuff to buy, but most of the “big” items are out of the way. Holding off on the microwave/fridge/rug until we find out who her roommate is and if she already has one. (Unfortunately that won’t be until the beginning of August!)</p>
<p>What do you all think about orientation in the summer instead of right before College starting? I find it strange when colleges that tout a large percentage of OOS students host orientations weeks before the start date. My older kids had orientation’s that were connected to the start date so freshman would just arrive earlier. I think optional orientations are awesome, and a great way to make new friends in a pressure free setting, but the timing is weird. </p>
<p>My son’s school, Champlain College in Burlington VT, is about 7 hours from us and has a choice of five summer “launches” [Champlain’s</a> Summer Launch Programs](<a href=“Orientation 2023 | Admitted Fall Undergraduate Students |Champlain College”>http://www.champlain.edu/Orientation/Champlain-Summer-Launch.html) . Now these are mostly fun orientations, not the ones where you get your classes and housing info but for the kids that do them will have a leg up on feeling comfortable once they hit campus. My son is planning to do the Roller Coaster one which simply combines a trip to an amusement park and camping and is just two days. BUT, because it’s a day’s drive away it’s going to take him two full travel days. Fortunately, they are offering free housing for the night before and the night after - and that itself might be another adventure!</p>
<p>Thanks for those suggestions for alternatives to BB&B, weetabixmum. Some of those were brand new to me and several were very international-friendly no problem with registering without a US address and a couple even helpfully translated prices into GBP! Speaking of international-friendly, those summer orientations are definitely NOT. Im with Kathiep in finding it strange that colleges with high percentages of OOS students expect them to show up for summer sessions. While Champlains launches sound primarily designed for social bonding purposes (very important in and of themselves), S attended one accepted students day at a place where students registered for classes during summer orientations. International students were invited to a session immediately preceding the actual start of term but the college acknowledged that some classes might have filled up by then. Puts OOS and international students at a real disadvantage.</p>
<p>At WPI, the orientation is 4 days before the start date in August. Based upon the freshman class FB page, some of the students are upset that they don’t get to meet up before orientation. If you live far away, I can see that it can be a burden.</p>
<p>The students did their schedule on-line between May and July 1. They actually picked their classes and section, not just the classes. My D was able to block out times that she didn’t want to have classes, and the on-line tool filled in the available classes. At first, we sort of panicked when we learned that she had to do it all by herself, but there was a decent on-line tutorial, and if she had any questions, she was able to call the school. Since she did her schedule relatively early, she was able to get the classes and times that she wanted. If the academic advisors have an issue with your courses (you signed up for Calc V and never had Calc in HS, for example), they will contact you before school starts. </p>
<p>She moves in on August 18, since she hopes to play field hockey. Regular move in day is the following Sunday, when orientation starts. There are sessions for parents at orientation, so we will most likely go back for those, and we will be able to meet her roommate. Fortunately, we live 45 minutes away from the school, so it is not an issue.</p>
<p>I have already blocked my calendar for parent’s weekend in October, and plan to attend.</p>
<p>One of my daughter’s schools does orientation over the summer, and one does it right before classes start. I see the advantage of the later orienation for schools with a lot of international and far away students, but I also see the advantage of the summer orientations. The summer orientations are exciting for the kids and really reduce stress for parents and students. My D2 was able to select classes with peer and faculty advisors, while D1 choose her schedule from home with a quick phone call to a faculty advisor and emails to a peer advisor.</p>
<p>I do think that small group pre-orientation programs can help with the transition. My D1did a leadership program, and D2 will do a community service program. These programs allow kids to move into the dorms early and meet a small group of students.</p>
<p>Happy 4th of July to all!</p>
<p>Morning all! Do I need to reintroduce myself? Like Snoozn, I think I crashed the old party well into sr. yr. Well, why not - here’s the reader’s condensed version:
ds - first born, drum majoring social butterfly, going to Pitt, planning to major in biomedical engineering “because it sounds cool” - so I am expecting a 180 degree around Nov. when he switches to philosophy. really.
dd1 - rising HS Jr. - doesn’t emerge from room until mid-afternoon for food, and then back to computer with room darkening curtains drawn. Could wipe out entire villages with her evil death stare. gpa 4.7 - runs with a dangerous crowd of asian wunderkind - most of whom are in asia right now at SAT prep camps.
dd2 - HS frosh in the fall, very competitive - about everything, snarky, “duh” “idiot” favorite words.
dd3 - joyful, laughing constantly, going into 5th gr in the fall - the light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p>My question of the day is on the controversial subject of underage drinking. My dear boy’s friends and their parents and it seems this entire town are ok with the idea of hosting parties where everyone gets drunk and then sleeps over. My dear boy has (as far as we know, and I do have informants) not partaken. But, he wants to get “experience” before he heads out to college (aka party land). Dh’s brainy idea (which we haven’t done) is to sit him down with a six-pack and watch him get drunk. Ds is extremely honest with us so when there will be alcohol at parties, he still tells me and asks permission to go (and I say no btw). I don’t want to make that honesty go away and I also understand peer pressure. He is a lightweight, he will get drunk and before he is of age - these are things I believe. We will be 6 hrs away from “rescuing” him when he gets to school. Thoughts dear friends?</p>
<p>Man, amanda, that’s toughie. I have no perspective on this myself - my girls are pretty anti-alcohol (and I am not fooling myself - college grad D got through her 4 years having maybe a couple of single pina coladas, when she was legal, just doesn’t like the taste or the feeling; D2 is much more militant and probably will be willing to be the outcast rather than succumb to peer pressure). But I do have lots of acquaintances and relatives who use the “help them learn to drink at home” method, and while I find it a little strange (as you seem to) I can see where it could be preferable to letting a kid who is going to try drinking do it in an unsupervised and maybe unsafe way.</p>
<p>In WI there is a huge push to stop these parties, though, with incredibly heavy fines on parents who allow others’ kids to drink in their homes, even if they are not driving. But it is legal to give your own child a drink. I guess I’d compare this to other “risky” things kids will do in college, might as well sit down and talk about it and give guidance than pretend it won’t happen - and keep saying no to the townies’ illegal parties as much as you can.</p>
<p>D got more info about her housing situation. She had put Honors College suites as a preference, and I guess she got lucky, such as it is. They have two good-sized bedrooms - she is in a triple with these two sophomores, and the other has 2 girls. There is a common room and a bathroom for all 5 of them. Man, is she going to learn about how to live respectfully with people! Please, please, please don’t let any of them be neat freaks…</p>
<p>I’m guessing there will ups and downs of suite living. 5 people in 3 rooms could give everyone some more breathing room, or maybe it won’t (the idea of a 3-person bedroom honestly makes my stomach turn, but I never shared a room with anyone until I was married; always had a single, very deliberately, in college). I’m beginning to think we’ll keep things pretty light on what she brings, since she really won’t have much space and because they’ll so likely be sharing lots of stuff.</p>
<p>It’s getting really exciting, really REAL. This is what we’ve been looking forward to for so long! Makes (most of) what we went through this year worth the stress! What H and I told her this morning, though, is that she does need to get on the ball with what she planned to do this summer - time will slip away. Her room is definitely NOT clean!</p>
<p>Happy holiday to everyone!</p>
<p>Amanda- I do not think parents should ever host or allow participation in these drinking parties. Whether a kid gets “experience” before college or not, he or she will probably still drink too much at college parties. For kids who choose to drink at college while underage I think that’s the way of it.</p>
<p>As for your H’s “brainy idea”- no way… I feel that kids who grow up in a house where parents and the people they socialize with model responsible, infrequent social drinking are best prepared for navigating the social drinking scene.</p>
<p>AK, give yourself a giant pat on the back for raising such a wonderful, honest DS. Then give your H a giant thump over the head for that ridiculous suggestion! That said, we live in a place where drinking is legal at age 18 and although weve always offered our kids a glass of wine with dinner, theyve rarely taken us up on it. However alcohol is definitely served at the parties S attends and he partakes. He knows when he goes to the US, he will be underage and cannot legally drink. I do think that having the mystique taken away will make him a more sensible drinker. At these parties, the kids tend to stay over, the parents are at home and it is rare that anyone gets drunk. It is usually the girls who come off worst according to S who gets quite concerned about his girl friends (friends who are girls, not GFs) drinking because with their lower body weight, they tend to feel it more quickly. I realize this isnt helping you in your situation. I guess the bottom line is its against the law. Or is it the case, as EmmyBet, points out, that it is legal to give your own kid a drink? In which case, why not offer him a beer when you and H are having one with the July 4th cookout just so he can taste it and realize theres nothing all that special about it. Happy Fourth - needless to say this is not a holiday recognized here in England!</p>
<p>I like the summer orientations although like some of you with older kids it is new to us. It gives the advisors, deans etc more time to spend with each freshman. Plus it keeps the excitement up. I think its tough to make a decision in the spring and then not see the campus for 5 or 6 months, it probably helps with summer melt. It is rather costly though for kids who have to fly. </p>
<p>As far as those parties AK we would never, ever do it and we are surprised at those who do although we don’t know any of them well. S and our older two pretty much attend every party thrown by students at their small school, so there is quite a mix. We volunteer to drive on occasion and we haven’t seen any issues or anyone out of hand over the years, although there are a lot of sleep overs.</p>
<p>I think it’s unfortunate and unjust that the drinking age is so late, considering voting age and serving-in-the-armed services age are 18. The motivation for moving it to 21 was the to lessen the motor vehicle accident mortality rate, which was possibly achieved. But instead of clearly severing the infinitely more serious issue of drinking and driving from drinking overall, the lawmakers have outlawed a much wider swath of behavior. This increases, as someone said above, the “mystique” of alcohol and lessens the respect for the law. If this law is stupid maybe others laws are, too. In their minds maybe this makes prohibitions against drugs less important. Maybe it’s OK to drive if one has had just a few drinks. I think the penalties for drinking and driving should be much more severe. It’s the thing that should be outlawed.</p>
<p>Oh well, we have to live in the nonsensical society such as it is. Kids will want to experiment with alcohol. Too bad now they have to do it at college while we’re paying untold thousands for them to buckle down and study. Too bad they couldn’t have “gotten it out of their system” at home with us. At least at many colleges students can get away without a car. That said, my D surprises me by never having had a drink beyond a sip and verbalizes her intention to never drink! I like to have a little wine maybe weekly or so. I hope she sticks to her plan or else learns some other way to drink in moderation. It’s out of my hands now. </p>
<p>BTW, I never introduced myself except to say my D is starting at Stanford. I think that puts me with Ydnar, 2blue, and 3Trees. We live in Montana. My only other child, my S, is starting the 8th grade. This means we will never have to pay 2 tuitions at the same time! My D is looking at a history or philosophy major, being strongly drawn to ethics. She likes debating, plays the cello, and loves to ski-even ski race.</p>
<p>Oh, and Dignified1, too. Sorry.</p>
<p>I actually do see some logic in the suggestion made by AmandaK’s DH. My DD believes that she will not drink before she is of legal age but so did older D. For older D, that lasted until sophomore year, when she drank for the first time, did not understand her tolerance level at all and became so ill that her friends called 911. She was fine physically but paid a heavy price (she spent the rest of that year completing a program that ultimately expunged the violation from her record). She rarely drank after that until she turned 21 and is still very careful about how much she drinks, no driving, etc.</p>
<p>Maybe my instincts are influenced by older D’s experience but I’ve thought seriously about letting younger D try a little alcohol while she is still home, to find her limit. We have set a good example at home (DH has an occasional beer but that’s about it) and that didn’t seem to help older D, who is a very responsible kid other than this one instance over 21+ years.</p>
<p>Not sure this helps anyone else but that’s my 2 cents worth.</p>
<p>DH and I were discssing the drinking issue this weekend, now that DS1 is 21 and DS2 is headed to what many consider to be a “party” school. DH’s side of the family has a history of alcoholism and drug abuse, so we have been open with the boys about the potential for a problem if they don’t learn to discipline themselves. DS1 and a friend had a 12-pack party one night in HS. Older brother of the friend got them a 12-pack and they each drank 6 beers in a short period of time and had nasty hangovers. We learned about it through the parent grapevine. We provided some consequences and DS1 learned his lesson. He has become a social drinker with great moderation.</p>
<p>DS2’s group of friends do no drink at all and purposely avoided going to HS parties where drinking was rampant (most supplied by parents.) They weren’t part of that “cool” social circle anyway and had no interest in it. But this weekend of BBQ and a few beers has provided the opportunity to remind DS2 about the temptation that he may experience in college.</p>
<p>Underage drinking was a BIG part of the orientation for both parents and students at Mizzou. The school approaches the problem head-on. The student’s ID cards come in a case packed with information on BAC (blood alcohol content), laws about MIP (minor in possession), the city-wide designated driver program (DDs get free soft drinks at most restuarants and bars) and the STRIPES free ride home service. STRIPES (every relates to Tigers at Mizzou) is Supportive Tigers Riding in Pursuit of Ensuring Safety. Part of the Summer Welcome Revue (hour-long comedy show) was a skit about a STRIPES ride home. It was a take-off on Cash Cab and had both funny and serious questions about drinking and the consequences. It was all very well done and opened the door to discussion.</p>
<p>Since we are re-introducing ourselves, I live in northwest Missouri. We have two boys who attended a small, private K-8 school and then a public (1,600 students) HS. DS1 was HS Class of 2008 and Calvin College (Grand Rapids, Mich.) Class of 2011 until our lives took a detour in the summer of 2009 with a pregnant girl friend. They were married in September 2009 and had a beautiful boy in Feb. 2010. They now live 10 minutes from us. Our DIL is a part-time college student and full-time, amazing mom. DS1 is a full-time day and full-time ministry assistant at a local church. Healso owns a web site and graphic design firm with a member of the church (one of his HS former teachers.) He may go back to school one day, most likely after his wife has her degree.</p>
<p>I came to CC early in 2010 when DS2 began to look at MIT. He only applied to MIT, Purdue and our state flagship, Mizzou–due to their nuclear reactors. (His criteria for a school–had to have a research reactor on campus and not be southern.) This group has helped walk me through that process, including the application, interview, and deferred decision in December and held me up on the dark days that followed non-acceptance on Pi Day. At that time, we could not have seen the plan that has put him at Mizzou, my alma mater and a place he loves to visit, with a variety of merit aid, a research fellowship in alternative fuels, an advisor whose son is in the same major (Physics with a nuclear engineering minor) and a suite-style room in a Math & Science learning community–on the first floor!</p>
<p>Welcome to all the new friends here and Happy Independence Day.</p>
<p>amandak: your H’s idea is not so unusual in these parts; especially with kids (like your son) who haven’t done alot of partying in HS…</p>
<p>we wouldn’t let either kid walk out the door before freshman year without them being able to tell us verbally what their limits were; if they didn’t know, we would have done exactly what your husband has proposed…has worked like a charm w D1; we will see about D2 in the fall…</p>
<p>S is NOT interested in drinking at all at this point, says he thinks it’s stupid. We still talk to him about being careful and finding his limits etc. but if he asked, we would definitely let him try some alcohol at home to feel his way. I think it’s a shame that the drinking age isn’t young enough that kids can’t (legally) learn to drink responsibly at home while they have parents looking out for them.</p>