<p>Thank you beadymom… D is looking at Engineering schools and I noticed a few others that are not on our list. We may have to cross some of those colleges off due to not-so good grades this semester.</p>
<p>D is getting a lot of email too, but she selected Engineering so she is only getting mail from Engineering schools. She got one from Washington University, St Louis and Colorado School of Mines today. I heard about Washington University but not Colorado School of Mines.</p>
<p>NHCTM: I understand you since I am going through similar situation. I realized (with the sane advice from Dear Hubby) that we can only enable our kids, we can’t do it for them. We know that they are working hard but may be not prioritizing right. To do that, they need to have the motivation. I am working on that motivation part - they are also at the age where a carrot works better than a stick. Here is to the hope that our daughters do what’s best for them and eventually be successful.</p>
<p>4beardolls - I laughed (good naturedly!) at what your son said about receiving the college mail in his name. My son must have bubbled something wrong on the PSAT, and the first letter of his first name is wrong. So now it is so obvious that he is getting mail from that sitting, and it feels very impersonal. If his name was spelled right, he said it would probably feel different. It wouldn’t be so obvious that the mail is not really addressed “to him” but rather is mass produced. </p>
<p>I’ve also noticed that he is getting some schools his brother did not get. His brother’s score was 16 points higher (and NMSF qualifying) so he was getting a different level of school… </p>
<p>I’m a little surprised that most of the schools on the engineering list are state universities. Does the article differentiate between undergrad and grad? I would expect that the state universities have excellent research and graduate programs. I have heard of the undergrads possibly feeling like they were not paid enough attention to… might just be stories? We shied away from the large state schools on the list for my older son. In fact, he wanted a school that was pretty balanced (boy girl ratio),and smaller, and did not have too much of a techie feel. Where he is going has an engineering class of about 900ish and the arts and sciences school has about 6,000 (undergrad) My DS14 and DS16 would fit in more with tech schools. Ironically, we are visiting UVA (NOT techie) over the long weekend, cuz we have friends in the area, and because it is not as huge as other state schools, and it has the sport he plays.</p>
<p>my3gr8boyz: My son also has been receiving mail (and e-mail) from several schools that his older brother (NM Scholar) never got. We attribute that to the ACT, which he took in October, and had awesome math score. He even got a phone call last night from an admission rep. Not a big talker, I told him to be polite and hear the man out. He had never heard of the school before, but I did. Had to give him an education on where the school was located and that its athletic program was quite good.</p>
<p>As for UVA engineering, I can also mention that the program is quite good. My older son has a couple of friends enrolled there … and they love it.</p>
<p>chrysanthMum: CO School of Mines is also e-mailing my son often. Very good engineering school. Have a former student there, and he loves it. He turned down his family’s “school” for Mines.</p>
<p>@ CT1417, money talks I guess? I am sure that when a school district is willing to pay the per student test fee. Which equals a pretty hefty amount, then CB will play ball. School districts do it all the time.</p>
<p>Yes, DD is a great student, has always been. Since she was a wee child, she was always a very mature/dedicated student. It seems like she has an aversion to SAT prep. I was told by a Dr friend (who used to be an essay reader for College Board) that there is no immediate pay off. Its a test that you take now and the results don’t matter until senior year. He also says that SAT prep is tedious and boring, especially when a kid is busy. She is also different from her friends/most of her classmates. Their parents are totally clueless about this whole process… So she is odd man out so to speak. She is the only one who is on this particular path. So when she is tutoring/taking college classes, going to summer programs, her friends are at home, relaxing. I think she is growing resentful because she can’t see the end result yet. I always tell her, let me be your eyes, I can see this whole thing to the end and it will be worth it!!</p>
<p>And she has never been an incentive based/carrot type of kid. Never had to be. She always did what needed to be done as far as her school work. Always a straight A student on her own. This SAT is a whole new ball game though. Here again, no immediate gratification, it doesn’t prove positive til over a year from test date. I think I finally got through to her. We had a serious sit down this past weekend We talked about regrets in life and how she doesn’t want to arrive at the end of this whole college app process with any regrets. And if she didn’t study when she had the opportunity/didn’t bring her scores up, she would definitely have regrets after hitting that submit button. Again, there are no do overs. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, I am doing this all on my own. My exhusband has no involvement whatsoever. So I have been mom/dad for the past 10 years. So I have to be that person who does everything for her, gives her all she needs, loves her unconditionally,her biggest cheerleader, her administrative assistant, her chef, chauffer, her nurse, her maid, her girl Friday, and then, when necassary, the one who MUST put the hammer down/the heavy to remind her just how serious this whole thing is. Again, kids who come from where she comes from, look like her, have very little rooom for error. She doesn’t have the luxury of a two parent home, educated parents, fancy college counselors, so she must work twice as hard. Stack the deck in her favor whenever she can.</p>
<p>I’ve got an idea! Why don’t we all switch kids for a couple of weeks? I’ll nag your kid, and you nag mine. Maybe (like kees4me says) they tune out their own parent who loves them more than anyone in the world and they’ll listen to a “new” parent for a while.</p>
<p>LOL that would be a hoot. My dd would probably love all of her new mommies and probably wouldn’t want to return to me! Just the thought of that makes me very sad! As cranky and canktankerous as she can be… like this morning, I am all smiles and greeted her with “Good morning Sunshine, how is my beautiful girl” !!! and her response to me was, in a very lame/borderline disgusted manner was… “Hey”. LOL you gotta love em’.</p>
<p>For trade: one 17 year old boy that rarely leaves his room. Loud music coming from bass guitar at all hours of the day. Naturally smart, so therefore refuses to study for standardized tests. (A few hours of study could have escalated him into NMSF scores, but no…) :)</p>
<p>Can I trade for a nice young lady that will interact with younger brother?</p>
<p>@NewHavenCTmom, hang in there. It’s tough to be both mom and dad but you are all she’s got and she will remember all you did for her. The way I motivated DS to take SAT last Saturday is by showing him various colleges published 25/75% student SAT scores. I told him that until we know his actual score, we have no idea which colleges we should target. Once we know which colleges to target, then we can start to plan for college visits, etc . Also, taking it early will give him time to improve if the scores are not high enough for the colleges he is interested in. Anyway, it was an easy sell since he really wants to know if he has a shot at some top colleges. Regarding your DD growing resentful toward being the only one doing the right things to prepare for college, this talk is repeated often in my household since most of DCs friends are targeting the local state colleges. I have to remind my DCs all the time that they are not competing with their friends for a spot at top colleges. The competitions come from the best students in the nation. Recent years, the colleges are giving more numbers of admits to international students thus further erode the US students chance. So the competition is truly getting much tougher at top schools. By the way, I am sure my kids are tired of listening to me and will volunteer for the Kids Swap show :).</p>
<p>omg - I’ll take all of your kids if I can keep the Skype icon from bouncing all day announcing an attempted call from my mother. I don’t log out in case S2 calls. For the love of Pete…she’s let this one go for at least two minutes. You’d think she’d get the message I’m either not going to pick up, or away from the computer (shower, busy, whathaveyou). Ugghh! I know I sound awful, but my mom irked me beyond belief last week and I need a cooling off period before I talk to her so I don’t say something I’ll regret. Okay…now it’s almost comical. That skype icon is STILL bouncing!! Oy Vey!!</p>
<p>No experience with girls, so I’d just have to muddle through there. I am very close with my 25yo niece, but it’s a lot different having one full time. I DO have a lot of experience with loud guitars and boys who won’t leave their rooms…not combined in the same child so that would be interesting but I think I could manage. My guess is your kids would be so glad to come home after being here they’d be willing to do most anything you’d ask. </p>
<p>I actually did know someone who was lined up to do one of those spouse swap shows. She was all gung-ho while he was just ‘whatever’. My DH and I both thought it was a really odd idea but the wife is a very free spirit. They divorced before shooting began. So if you ever wondered if there is something not quite right beneath the surface with families that voluntarily go on those shows, I think you’re right. We were very sad, but not surprised.</p>
<p>One thing I’ve found interesting is that whenever friends ask where my D is considering going to college and I say NY, MA, Midwest, they all make the same comment–“Wow, I wouldn’t want my son or daughter moving that far away from home where they could meet their future spouse or get a job there.” I have to laugh because I went to a state school 2 1/2 hrs from where I grew up in IL. I met my future husband there. A few years after graduating, we moved 2,000 miles from “home” to Seattle and have never looked back. I’ve been here 25 years and I love, love, love, the Pacific NW. As the college counselors say, “Seattle is a ‘best fit’ place for me.” </p>
<p>I know my D understands that she has the freedom to make her own choices about where she’ll go to school, live, work, and put down roots. Maybe she’ll end up being a NW girl, but my money’s on NYC. Unlike her parents, this fashionista is drawn to the bright lights of Times Square…</p>
<p>I used to feel the odd person out when I was younger myself, so I understand where your daughter is coming from, NewHavenCTMom. However, I would just point out that she can either do “what everyone else is doing” and muddle through life or work a bit harder and get scholarships to good schools/admitted to top schools and substantially increase her chances of success. 10 months of being “different” won’t matter at all 10 years from now. It all pays off, eventually. An unmotivated peer group is sometimes difficult to get around (I go to a school like that now) and it’s tough to stay motivated.</p>
<p>I was so looking forward to our first meeting with the school’s college counselor yesterday and then she called to cancel because of the weather. I was so bummed. Is there something wrong with me to feel so disappointed? I just want to get this show on the road, so to speak. I feel like all I do is read about college admissions these days and the S’14 is so pre-occupied with homework all of the time that I wanted to meet so she would have his attention and they could come up with a game plan. I have a game plan, but I am sure hers will be more official-sounding and get his attention. I have so many questions for her. Now I have to wait until next week…</p>
<p>@Chrys- thanks for the kind words. I don’t think you would have said that last Tuesday if you were witness to my tantrum that I had around here! LOL </p>
<p>I have always wondered about folks who will do reality shows. Sometimes I feel weird telling my private thoughts/happenenings here on CC. So I can’t imagine having a camera stalking my every move. That would be a very unatural thing for me. I guess some people enjoy the attention? I am a very outgoing/gregarious person but I also have a shy side and would be mortified at the thought of my face on TV for all the world to see.</p>
<p>On a bright note, DD was nominated for a Yale summer program. I found out about it way back in 2011 and contacted the folks at Yale and was told that its only for juniors to apply in March of junior year. So of course, I kept in touch every so often to inquire about the program etc (even have the woman’s name & # in my cell phone) the last time we spoke, she mentioned that dd’s school had not participated in the application/orientation process and found that to be odd since the school has a very close relationship with Yale School of Medicine.</p>
<p>I emailed her chemistry teacher about the program before Christmas break to ask if they would nominate her. I didn’t hear back from her so I emailed her again on 1/10. I was told by the teacher that she had no knowledge of the program and would have to look into it. I haven’t heard back from her since. </p>
<p>So I was at the school, dropping lunch off to dd(she is very selective with her resentment of me :)) today and happened to run past the career services/internships person on my way out. She told me that she had nominated dd for the program. I wanted to cry! I was so happy! This woman and I had never even spoken about this particular program but she had dd in mind when she first learned of the program a few weeks ago… so hopefully she will be accepted. She has to apply and its VERY competitive. Lets keep our fingers crossed.</p>
<p>It’s so great you’re invested in her success. Best of luck with the summer program- she seems like a great candidate! Local programs at universities are really good. My friend, a physics person, worked at this laser lab program for HS juniors and got a great rec/invited back for the next year + money. He’s at Columbia now. I was going to apply to programs further away but I realized that a flight to anywhere in the States would be at least 1k + you can’t really work during the school year. It’s easier with LoRs IMO, too seeing that you can physically stop by and bug the secretary or whoever instead of sending 100000 emails.</p>
<p>I guess we could call it “stay a couple of weeks with a newly found aunt that just happens to be also friends with mom” or exchange student program where the kids go stay at some ones house and go to that highschool for a week. That should work right? Culture exchange doesn’t mean going out of country. Each family has thier own “special” things/customs :)</p>
<p>^exactly, chrysanthMum – it could be a “low impact” student exchange. I for one volunteer to take NewHavenCTMom’s D – I wouldn’t swap – I’d want her here to inspire S with her work ethic and accomplishments. She sounds amazing!</p>
</p>
(I go to a school like that now) and it’s tough to stay motivated.</p>