Just checking in to say hi. Excited here bc just booked a trip to see Goucher at the beginning of October. Flying down from Boston and staying overnight. Managed to swing it on Rosh Hashanah Monday so D17 doesn’t need to use up any of her “college days”–we get Rosh Hashanah off due to a pretty big Jewish population in our town. Tour, info session, and interview–though they are calling it a “counselor conversation” now for some reason. Would have liked to have her do an overnight visit but couldn’t make it work. I feel like someone else on here is considering Goucher–happy to report back afterwards if anyone is interested. Other than that, no progress on anything, really. I think the boring parts of the CA are done but no essays or short answers yet. Sigh. Still need to narrow the list down from 15 as that seems like a lot. 9 of the 15 offer EA and so we are aiming to do that, which means she needs to get on the ball. Sigh. I get so tired of nagging. 
But the whole process is stressing her out.
@kt1969, mine is considering goucher, but rosh hashana is not possible for a visit (we celebrate). I may have to bite the bullet and let her miss more school.
@kt1969, we are considering Goucher (well, I am, D17 doesn’t seem to be all that engaged)–we’re not visiting before applying (figured that if she is accepted and it’s a school she’s going to seriously consider, we could visit later), so I would very much be interested in your observations. We’re in a similar boat–D hasn’t made much progress on the Common App, other than the basic profile information, and I feel like I’m in perpetual nag mode. We’re only doing EA for schools where EA is recommended for merit consideration, and I believe that’s just a couple of the schools on our list. I’m really hoping D will have a strong fall semester to demonstrate she’s capable of strong work, and we were warned at the info session at one of her top choices to not go EA if GPA isn’t strong.
I am stealing a strategy from one of the parents on the main 2017 board (I think a few here are also using it)–scheduling a specific time each week to go over college stuff and promising not to bring it up in between scheduled sessions. I proposed this last night and D is on board. Next week there’s going to be a senior assembly on the college application process, so the timing for us is good. She’s scheduled to take the SAT (again) in October–one of the things we will be discussing at our first meeting this weekend is that she needs to be focusing on other aspects of her application, so counting on taking it yet again in November is probably not a great idea.
D has several LACs/CTCLs on her list, and we’re starting to get information from these schools regarding interviews in our area–D doesn’t seem to be very interested in scheduling these. While the interview isn’t required, she needs whatever she can do to make a case for herself, and I’m having a hard time getting through to her on this. She wants the schools without doing the work. Her top choice (not a LAC), weighs demonstrated interest very heavily, and she needs to reach out to her admissions rep to find out how to schedule a local or Skype interview, and you’d think I was asking her to amputate her right arm. Sometimes I wonder if she’s mature enough for this whole thing. I am strongly considering just letting her do what she wants and let the chips fall where they may ----> gap year. I’m hoping that the new strategy of once-a-week meetings is going to help her attitude and give her some focus on how to tackle the myriad tasks she needs to complete this fall.
Last year I had the super applier…she researched everything herself, nagged her guidance counselor and teachers, wrote and edited her essay, asked for significant input from me, but was really running the process. This year, I’m in nag mode again, just like with my eldest. I don’t like it.
@klinska and @kt1969 Your kids sound a lot like my D. I have come to terms with it isn’t that she is disinterested, its just that we are both overwhelmed. I deal with it by immersing myself in data and analysis…she deals with it by letting me take over 
This especially sounds like my D:
She did participate in one last week - that I signed her up for (with her permission, reluctantly). It probably just went ok. It was short and somehow she forgot to mention she plays 2 varsity sports (she doesn’t want to play in college but still - the time and commitment has to count for something). I also printed out a copy of her transcript and her activities resume and put them in a folder for her. I asked her if she gave on to the Rep…she replied “the girl before me didn’t have anything so I didn’t want to look weird” So she never opened the folder. Ughhh. I’m gonna have to teach her how to brag a bit.
However, the interview was a small success because she now thinks they aren’t a big deal so she agreed to sign up for two more when she got home. Baby steps right
It’s funny there are so many here looking at Goucher. My oldest D liked it quite a bit, especially for biology, but she ended up eliminating it due to their dance program being too ballet-focused. But our visit was great – a very warm and welcoming atmosphere. They also offered one of the most generous merit aid packages. (She didn’t eliminate it until after she’d applied).
@curiositycat333, I guess the hideousness of OSU’s essays depends on the kid. My D is a lot better at staying focused on one task and getting it done, rather than a bunch of shorter tasks. She looks at those OSU essays where she is going to have to tell them about her “leadership skills” and so forth and groans.
I think it’s an overwhelming process for most kids. While some are uber organized by nature, it’s a lot to track. I think a lot of the disinterest and fear or avoidance is simply a lack of awareness of the complexity and true time involved (teens in my experience always underestimate and gloss over this stuff). Just b/c my S17 isn’t tracking stuff at the level I am, to me, does not mean at all that he is not engaged or interested. He just shows it in very different ways.
@klinska and @kt1969 We are part of the Goucher list too and considering it is highly unlikely there will be a visit until after acceptance and package review, we will take any and all feedback from visits and interviews!
I’m in spreadsheet mode now, though am using a word doc with tables for the weekly meetings. I figure once he applies I’ll make a real binder with all the curriculum info, core classes, reqs etc so as things come in he can compare all that at a much deeper level that just doesn’t seem needed yet. That is where he will gloss over things, if it looks like they have enough on the surface, he won’t deep dive. But that can wait 
A little bit anyway.
@klinska we are doing the weekly meeting thing. First one went well, we will see how this next one goes (and if there was any progress). We are doing EA everywhere, for merit reasons and i want it done. He doesn’t really have any reach schools so I can’t see it hurting and if it does, so be it as they have to be affordable first.
@snoozn and @curiositycat333 I actually think S could handle the shorter ones better in some way, classic ADHD that way. But I don’t see the rush in this case for him and if it saves me the app fee as he has acceptances he likes better first (that are affordable) that’s not a bad thing. I think for him WWU offers everything he could get at OSU and it’s a better fit and significantly cheaper. Of course then I have the occasional paranoia that WWU isn’t really a safety. Hence the EA there!
I really like the weekly meeting idea. S17 knows what he wants to study (theater tech) and that location is secondary to the program, except that he is buying into H’s demand that he stay within 2 hours of home. Since we live in a suburb of NYC, that’s an easier demand to accede to than if we lived in Montana, but it does cut out some potentially nice choices.
I find myself in constant nag mode and H is undermining me. S17 hasn’t started on his essays or his portfolio and now he is saying that he wants a gap year. At this point, I am leaning towards having him apply to non-portfolio BA programs that permit internal transfers into the BFA with the hope that he will be able to use the work he does at college in lieu of a formal portfolio. Plus, I think he would do better at an interview than a portfolio review.
The weekly meeting idea could work if he is willing to do the work and be accountable for getting it done. I would like him to do a couple of EA apps just to get something under his belt.
If he does BA programs, that makes him more likely to get into schools like Purchase, where his ACT is in the top quartile, than he would be to get into the BFA side, where I don’t think his portfolio will be too impressive. When the BFA programs he is interested in take maybe 20 kids a year, is there really a safety?
@snoozn and @endesmom I may be optimistic that the OSU short answers will be easier for my son. He really struggles with writing of a personal nature.
What we finally figured out freshman year though was that the prompt really affected how much S17 struggled with the essay. The more open ended the question the harder it is, and asking English teachers to ‘reframe’ their prompts to be a lot more specific has had good results. The short answer questions on the Insight essays seems to me a lot more directed questions than the Common App/general college essay topics. The problem will come if he has no idea how to answer any of the questions. He needs what he writes to be “right” and struggles with essay topics where it doesn’t matter what your opinion is as long as it’s well supported.
@curiousitycat333, Why don’t you like Humboldt State ? I grew up in Eureka, CA and know quite a bit about HSU. They have a very good Forestry/ Geology and Marine Biology Departments.
Week 2 of the weekly meeting plan is officially a success! S17 had 4 things on this to-do list
- Finalize list
- Ask Teachers for LOR
- Update Naviance
- Create FAFSA ID
And…here is where things stand as of today
- Finalize list - DONE! 1 school cut, 1 school "tabled" as a backup to revisit later if needed after acceptances and offers come in and 2 moved into the "will apply" category. 7 schools made the cut/final list and we are both happy with it. I am pleased to say that the 2 I wanted to stay, did without me uttering a peep, and I didn't have to play the mom card (Ithaca and Allegheny). I have agreed not to suggest a single new school to consider. Ever. He can, but I will not. At least not until apps are in and any acceptances/rejections and offers start coming in. We should have an idea of trend by new years.
- Ask Teachers for LOR - Partially done. He asked his primary LOR writer and got a very very enthusiastic response with a request for S17's resume, list of schools and due dates. This is a teacher who will flat out tell you if it will be a good letter or not.
It is only partially done as he clearly spent some time thinking about who he was asking after the primary LOR writer (his US History teacher from last year). Originally he had been thinking of either his Alg2/PreCalc teacher or his AP Physics teacher (or both for schools that take 3. He’s struggled with asking his AP english teacher, primarily because he hadn’t had him as a teacher since 9th and the guy is notoriously late with stuff. However, he is the drama department teacher, S has spent hours and hours and hours with him his entire HS experience with stage crew and has him for 2 classes this year, AP English and Theater Tech and will be with him for a solid week in NYC on a drama trip. He’s a brilliant guy, always reminds me of the Robin Williams character in Dead Poets Society who just happens to look like Goran Višnjić (deadly combo if you ask me!). The kids might follow this guy off a cliff. He also just had a baby yesterday (#3) so is a bit crazed. S has been struggling with it. Stage Crew is what he wants to list 1st for activities, over music and with his EC’s so heavy in those areas it kind of seems odd not to have it referenced at all and he is a bit concerned that this teacher might feel slighted (he is the drama teacher after all lol) if he doesn’t ask, plus he does write beautifully and really “knows” S. Both in good and bad ways to be honest but has certainly seen the growth over the 3 years and can speak to it.
We decided he should give his teacher the option and understand if he says no. He really couldn’t ask this week as the teacher was out for 2 days due to the new baby. While it isn’t ideal from a Humanities/STEM perspective, in terms of who knows him best and can express it in a letter…it would be. S17 is undecided as to whether he will ask a 3rd. 3 of his schools will take 3 although only 3 of them deem it important. So, we will see.
He may ask 2 other people to write letters that would fall under the “other” category. His private music lesson teacher and the performing arts center director at the HS. He does a TON of volunteer work for the performing arts center for school district events and also now works for him for paid events (non school district users). Since one of the schools has scholarship opportunities both in music and theater tech for non majors, I’m going to push S to ask, for that school at a minimum.
- Update Naviance (and Common App). Ok, I did that. With his permission though, he needs it to determine the LOR school lists so he can take those in this week.
- Create FAFSA ID. I let him off the hook on that one. I set mine up this week, his can wait.
We discussed the overall list at length and both feel good about it. He wants to dive deeper into the financials (which was nice to hear and unsolicited) but has a decent grasp of where things fall at the moment.
We also reviewed his resume, edited it and that’s ready to go to give to his LOR writers, it’s just making them a list with due dates.
@curiositycat333 I think it depends on the short answer. In looking at it some will likely be pretty simple to whip out and others, not so much. I know for my S it can take getting them to think a bit outside the box. There was an item I’d put on his resume in a couple of spots that he kind of rolled his eyes at, minimizing the achievement but it really was something neat (I think) and should be mentioned. It definitely showed leadership even if it wasn’t in a traditional way. I can see my kid, when trying to answer a leadership question going uh…I don’t have any. Which isn’t true even if it’s not an official “titled” position.
@stlarenas I’m glad your D was able to get one interview under her belt and it went well enough to inspire her to schedule others. Bummer about the sports, I agree, that counts for quite a bit. It shows she is active and committed to something. They will see it in her app though and I would think the interview is as much about “fit” as a list of accomplishments. Not that I really have a clue, no interviews here yet.
@techmom99 can you chat with your H about this? that would be really frustrating to not be on the same page about location, it’s undermining (and sounds like limiting). The weekly meeting is helping a lot! Both were absolutely painless so far and he actually did what was agreed to for the most part. The BA transfer into BFA sounds like a really good option and a “softer” entry. I would definitely look into it! Kind of funny, my S has not done any kind of portfolio for tech (I may suggest a bunch of pictures for the fall production just in case) but I did list them all on his resume by production and tech position. I only got one wrong so I was happy about that. LOL!
@“Queen’s Mom” I think your super applier is the exception not the rule, it is so overwhelming and most get very little guidance or push at the HS.
@klinska Creating a plan for “demonstrating interest” is on next weeks to do list, we have 3 that list is as important or very important and 2 that list interviews as important so S is going to need to work on all of them as none are schools we can visit. He did meet with 2 out of the 3 already at a CTCL event but that’s not remotely enough.
@svacmom I’m not thrilled by Humboldt State for S17 for a few reasons. One of my brothers went to school there (but didn’t graduate) and loved it, & his kid wants to go there I just don’t think it’s a great fit for S17. He likes it because it’s location & he knows students who attend it because of camp. He wants an outdoor school close to hiking and the out-of-doors and the area is beautiful. On the plus side it’s the least expensive school on his list & I’m it’s a solid reach. Unless he screws up the app he should get is with a large margin.
I don’t think it’s going to have the majors he wants nor that he’s looked into what majors it offers. (He is interested in Engineering but not sure and all Humboldt has in that direction is CS.) While he loves the out-of-doors & hiking he isn’t looking at forestry or Biology degrees. I think it’s selling himself short. (I believe he can get into UCSC & think it’s a much better fit.) It’s very hard to get to Humboldt: flights are very expensive to get there and driving from here takes over 12 hours, easier to send a kid to the east coast. Probably would need to send him with a car. He does have grandparents who live in the N. Coast but still 2-3 hour drive away. (Thus visiting over the holidays.) And it has a huge stoner reputation, that I know is more than just reputation. He has an adult that works with him, who sent their kid who is warning me away from it for my S.
But I do agree that for him it’s a better choice than the local CC. I just like Oregon State, or UCSC or UofO a whole lot better for him.
Trying to figure out if I should ask this here or the other board.
This week is back-to-school night for S17. S17 thinks there is no point for me to go. I decided I’m not going to drag DH but it’s my one of my few chances to see his teachers. (He will have an 504 meeting within the next month but I doubt too many of his teachers will attend.) It’s a hugely busy week for me, i’ve been working from home and I’ll be commuting over an hour into to an office 3 days this week.
Should I bother? Parking for the event it a PITA. I do like seeing the other parents. And going gives me an idea what other kids are in his classes & it’s easier picture. But I don’t need to hear the spiel from the band teacher. I know the CS & Physics teacher. My experience with D12 was by 12th grade the classrooms were only 1/3 or less full.
Are you going to back-to-school this year? Should I listen to my DS & not go? Is he possibly hiding something? Part of me thinks I should just give it a miss, and the part really wants to go. It’s my last back-to-school night after all.
I am not going to back to school night. I will confess, I only went once for each kid in MS and then 1.5 times in HS. My take was/is this. I went to get a general feel for the teachers and schedules in MS and then for the teachers and workload for S17 his freshman year. I did attend it last year for the sole purposes of a required parent band meeting related to their large trip and then went to one of S19’s classes simply because I was there.
This year the band meeting is on a separate night as was the XC meeting so I’ve no intention of attending BTS. I’m not sure what is gained. What I need to know, I can get from my kids or online. If there is some senior specific stuff I need to know that comes out as a separate meeting I will likely revisit but I don’t feel I need to meet either kids teachers for them to be successful in their classes. On the rare occasion I do have specific questions, I’ve always found the teachers to be very responsive to email.
I went to back-to-school night last Thursday and I’m glad I did. I also had a brutal work and home week, but it’s important for me to connect with D19’s teachers. She has LDs and this is a big academic year for her. I wanted to get a sense of who the teachers were and at least make an initial connection. D19 attends a private, all-girls school with about 550 students, so she doesn’t necessarily get lost in the system, but she has some additional medical issues this year that I need teachers to be aware of.
Not sure why you DS doesn’t want you to go, but I never listen to my daughter about those things, so I don’t really have any good guidance there.
It’s hard when there is so much going on in life. I’m a divorced mom with a full time job and 2 adjunct teaching appointments and a small business, so I feel your pain!
@curiositycat333 – GO. I doubt your son’s hiding something–probably just being a “teen”. Our HS has 2 types of gatherings. The week before school starts there is a mock school day where parents & students walk the schedule & get to hear a 10 minute spiel from each teacher about expectations, obtain supply lists & class syllabus, etc. Hubby/I attend every year because it helps in future conversations w/S17 by having seen the classroom set-up & recognizing/knowing students/parents, and we get a feel for the teacher’s personality. The 2nd event takes place after the end of the 1st quarter where parents get to meet w/teachers for 5 minutes to discuss 1st quarter grades. We’ve gone every year just so the teacher can put faces with names & we get to hear – mostly – compliments about our S17. But, I’m w/you – getting in/out is a PITA!!
Back to school night is this Thursday. I am going for S17 even though H is having knee replacement surgery the day before. Parking is a pita but I can walk from the train station and have one of my sons pick me up afterwards.
I have been emailing with his APES teacher and would like to meet her. Although S17 is my 5th and youngest child, for some reason he has teachers this year that none of the older children ever had. His English teacher, his history teacher, his baking teacher, his APES teacher and his business law teacher are all new to me and I would like to meet them. S17 wants me to go and I am feeling slightly nostalgic because it’s my last open school night ever…
My D and middle son both went 6 1/2 hours away by car. Our son is still up there and H misses him. Plus, with his knee replacement coming up and the other planned for a couple of months, H is not feeling like going away is the right thing for S17.
Well to be fair I don’t need to go to BTS night because
S17- all of his classes are with teachers he’s either had before, have worked with in clubs/outside of class and the one “new” one is the wife of one of the others and he’s had interaction with her on the band trips and some club work.
S19 - does have a few that “I” don’t know as well but I either know of them via S17 or others and so there really is only one wild card in the mix and I’m not at all convinced meeting her would change that or be at all worthwhile.
I am a bit sentimental about this year but it’s taking the form of volunteering for things lol.
@techmom99 I can see where your H doesn’t feel that is the right thing for him (your H) but it sounds about him, not your S. Sounds a bit unfair actually, penalized for being younger and around when the knee surgery happens? I’ve seen many folks go through knee surgery. There is no way it should still be an issue a year from now once your S is off to school. They make you move right away, it’s impressive how fast people can rebound. If your S wants to be close then that’s a different thing entirely but it doesn’t sound like it is coming from him.
from someone who hates BTSN, i’m actually going this year too.
but i typically “ditch” before the gym or lunch periods…
old habits die hard. >:)
I had to decide between BTSN for D17 or S18. They go to different HS’s, but of course both were scheduled for the same night. It was easy to decide on S18’s. D is only taking two classes at HS this semester (Duel Enrollment for others) and is a teacher’s aide in another (and I know that teacher).
I found the session for S to be pretty useful. I felt like I got a bit of each teachers’ style and I agree with S’s assessment that all his teachers this year seem very good. But perhaps most importantly, it makes it easier to talk to him about school and classes.
An amusing moment – one parent who had a “question” was definitely “that parent.” The AP Lang teacher mentioned learning rhetoric as part of the course. A dad raised his hand and asked if the class would be studying from Aristotle’s work on rhetoric (I’m too lazy to look up the name of the book). The answer was “no” and he then proceeded to argue with her about why she should add it. She explained why it was not included, he argued a bit more as the teacher remained calm and polite but looked clearly frustrated. The dad ended by saying that he was going to give his son a copy of Aristotle’s text to “Johnny”. This poor kid has now been outed at the beginning of the year as the son of “that parent.”