@momofone How unbearably sad. My condolences to your daughter, to her friend’s family, and to your entire community. Hug her tight!
Thank you everyone, I really appreciate the support. This is really helping me a lot, helping me so that I can be there for her. Couple of minutes ago, she came to me and showed me that she is collecting some tributes from other friends and is planning to make a small booklet and give it to her BF’s parents day after tomorrow. She said that she now has to stand in for her friend and take responsibility for her brother. This whole thing does not make any sense though. I am hoping that my daughter and her friends family will all find peace and will be able to celebrate that one special person. (I am sorry, I know, I am rambling. But this is helping me a lot) Thanks a lot once again!
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That stinks for everyone, just a truly awful situation. I’m sorry you and your daughter and especially the girl’s family are going through it.
My son had 2 friends die in a car crash a couple of weeks ago, one of which was a couple of years older in S’s sport, and was a great source of advice through the whole process, from HS freshman through college recruiting.
I guess these are just reminders for all of us to hug our kids.
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I’m so sorry for your daughter and her friend’s family and everyone who is reeling from this sudden and tragic loss. One of my kids has been through some traumatic losses and changes - your daughter will be fortunate to have you supporting her. The tribute booklet she is compiling sounds like a good way for her to begin processing this and for her to show her love for her friend to the girl’s family.
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How horrible, @Momof0ne. I agree with the above suggestion of a therapist for your daughter if she would like to see one. I hope she is okay. How heartbreaking.
@dadof4kids, I am so sorry, how sad! I hope your son is doing okay.
Thanks @JanieWalker. He is doing fine I think. This 2 boys were in his secondary circle, not his primary one.
The one thing I always appreciated about this kid was how he treated my son who was a 2-3 years younger. He was already a state champion wrestler solidly on the path to being a 4 time state champion the first time I was around them together. They knew each other mostly by reputation at that point I think. He was a bit of a celebrity in that small world, and my son was a nobody, but he treated my middleschool son like an equal. Same thing after this kid started wrestling at college and my son was still in HS yet to be recruited. No ego, just a genuinely nice kid who was always respectful to me and helpful to others.
I don’t know if it is better or worse, but some really bad decisions led to the car crash. That info isn’t public because there is no reason to tarnish their reputations at this point, but my son knows. So this wasn’t a tragic random thing that happened, this was avoidable.
All my kids got to hear my lecture about drinking and driving for the 500th time. When S was home for Thanksgiving last week, he had I think 2 beers one night. Not enough that from my observation you could tell he had been drinking. Later on someone called him and wanted him to come over. He absolutely refused to drive. So hopefully that lesson is sinking in.
I guess I should clarify this son is in college that had a couple of beers, not in HS.
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I am so sorry @Momof0ne and @dadof4kids
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There are no words @MomofOne virtual hugs to you, your D and her family. I’m sure making the tribute is keeping your D busy- sometimes that helps.
Thank you @dadof4kids for reminding me it is time to make the speech again.
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@dadof4kids, I am so sorry that your son had to go through this. I hope he is doing ok. It is gut wrenching for any parent to see their child go through this.
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Your daughter’s situation is much worse. A closer friend and just so random. I think my son is sad, but probably also a bit angry at them for making a dumb choice. And probably then back to sad and guilty, because I’m sure he has made that choice at some point and gotten away with it. I know I was fortunate that my dumb decisions when I was in college didn’t lead to me killing myself or someone else. Having been a teenage boy, I can say with some authority that they make bad decisions (on many topics not just this one) on a regular basis.
The bright spot about what happened here is that it probably helped remind a bunch of HS/college age kids that despite how they may feel, they are in fact not bulletproof and need to be careful. These 2 kids were very well known, 2 of the all time best HS wrestlers in our state. Hopefully that loss will lead to others being avoided.
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@dadof4kids, we moved three times between when my daughter was in elementary school. The third was the last time we moved when she was just about to start 5th grade. She met her best friend on first day of school in 5th grade. Over 7 years, she had a few friends come and go but this was the one stable friendship she had and one person she could count on. Her mom texted me on Tuesday morning about her passing away, I could only tell my daughter on Wednesday after due to many reasons. Last night she said, “Mom, I lost my constant”, it just broke my heart.
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Wishing your daughter good healing.
"…Prediction: I think more students will be deferred this year by selective schools than they have in the past. Keep in mind enrollment managers are doing exactly what their job title says: managing enrollment (you come here for the deep stuff, I know).
Colleges are closely, and quite nervously, watching their spring enrollment numbers. What will retention look like if students were disappointed with their fall experience on campus, online, or in some hybrid delivery mode? If they take an additional financial hit, they will likely be looking to build an even bigger first-year class for the summer or fall of 2021.
Additionally, they have lots of questions about how to predict this year’s admitted student behavior:
- Will yield go down as a result of test score optional policies?
- Will international students be able to receive visas at pre-pandemic rates?
- Will the financial fallout of Covid-19 deteriorate yield of domestic students?
All of this means they will likely defer a higher percentage of early applicants in order to wait and see what they can learn about vaccines, infection rates, economic recovery… you know, little stuff like that."
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Selfishly, I read your post and I think of how it may impact my S. But then I take a step back and my heart immediately goes out to these admission officers teams and shake my head wondering how on earth are they keeping sane. I can’t imagine the stress they are experiencing during all this with so many unknown variables. I shouldn’t complain about my own anxiety; they likely haven’t been sleeping well for months.
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@Momof0ne - Your last sentence, “Mom, I’ve lost my constant” is heart wrenching.
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I am not nearly as generous as you and am amazed how colleges have been able to flip the script. We are the purchasers of the product and our kids are going through more stress than the AOs, I believe. I understand the issues the colleges face but honestly it is frustrating that they might defer more kids than normal.
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Maybe it’s my own defense mechanism…bc I’m really angry deep down but am trying to find a way to lower or distract from that discomfort?!
My stomach has been in knots since Nov. 1 ED submission. If S gets deferred I’ll likely puke. The anxiety is horrible.
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I have to say that many decisions and certainly Covid is no exception IMHO, are all driven by $. So, if families with more resources tend to apply ED, then schools are likely to be financially wise and lock those dollars in. I really don’t see ED acceptances going down. Again, it’s anyone’s guess and nothing about this year has made life easier for anyone. Can I get an amen?
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@purplemama Amen! We have two EA decisions that should come out in December, and two more that are likely to be released some time in December/January. Of these, there are three reaches, some more reachy than others, and one safety and nothing in between. If the reaches all come back rejection or deferral, the wait until March will be very stressful!
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