Thanks for this perspective and to @bestday738 and @Picklenut6 for their similar remarks.
The silver lining in having some of the reaches say “no” is that the schools that said “yes” might offer a better study/life balance and be less stressful.
I think that most of the kids represented on this thread know how to work hard and aren’t going to have trouble applying themselves in college. Especially after this year, maybe they also should prioritize personal exploration, down time, friendships, and fun. They deserve it!
One positive thing about the pandemic for my D21 is that it distilled her friend group down to like-minded kids very quickly. Because of DH’s job, our kids really felt the death toll all year. Eight of DH’s patients died on Christmas Day, and although we never dwelled on it, we didn’t hide it. He also treats a lot of people with long Covid, including young people.
D21’s friends who were up for hikes with dogs, biking, campfires, and freezing around propane heaters are deeper, closer friends now. Also, it’s been so much easier for her to get to know a romantic interest because they can have some privacy. Everyone doesn’t need to know what you’re up to, and you aren’t on stage as a couple every day at school.
I agree with the comments about fun and freedom, but I also see that D21 has developed more maturity and better judgement than she would have if her life had kept rushing smoothly along without the pandemic. She had to contribute to the family more than ever before, and I think she understands herself (and others) better having gone through some fairly serious anxiety and depression. Plus, we had the bonus of having D19 home again for a semester, and I could see the beginnings of them being more equals than big sister and little sister.
Anyway, that’s me looking on the bright side which is easier for me today because my best friend and I walked our dogs in the cold rain and ranted and vented and swore about all the downsides and worst parts of this year!
Thanks so much for this. I have def. seen a number people, both in articles and on YouTube, who have taken the Jefferson Scholarship over Yale, Harvard etc. We are so, so thrilled about it and in the process of visiting the her top three schools (couldn’t do it before due to pandemic and weren’t going to travel to CA just to “look”)
It’s not actually that easy, at least for us. We have been super conscious of “fit” and really drilling into her that a place on a USNWR ranking is not the same as going some place that fits you and thriving there. I know soooo many people who did amazing things from smaller schools and many who were miserable at their T10 schools so I’m super conscious of this. This is a great problem to have, and I’m not complaining one bit, but she really needs to evaluate the pros and cons of what she wants, what they offer, and how she will fit into them, as they are very different schools. I think a number of our kids missed out on this because they couldn’t visit due to the pandemic.
My D18 is in college and figuring out her summer. I told her after the past year, I don’t want her to worry about what ‘looks good’ on her resume or grad school applications.
Fort., she had a great research internship (REU) after her first year. Last summer she had an internship but it was virtual from her childhood bedroom. And of course her Fall semester abroad was cancelled.
I def. feel like her wings have been clipped and she needs to fly! She’s just kinda burned out from the grind and COVID stress – like most of us, right?
This summer she might go live with family in Cali or a friend in Chicago. She’ll try to find some ‘experience’ (possibly volunteer) wherever she goes, but mostly she needs a break and deserves some adventure! Fort., she has saved $$, and her college may pay for her travel and meals if she gets a volunteer gig.
@momandslp I know your post is a few weeks old, but my daughter is interested in becoming an SLP. The more I read about it, and the more others post, the more it worries me. I see your post was positive, which is really nice to hear. My concerns are that many people seem to indicate that this is a career with long hours, psychological burn out, loads of paperwork, not enough time with patients, and little pay mobility. Job satisfaction seems low and many are leaving the field. Also, it seems as though even in undergraduate school the kids are very stressed because grad school is so hard to get into they feel they have to ace all their classes to even have a chance at grad school. Of course, often times people who take the time to post are people at extreme ends of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, but I’d love to hear what you think about this field and its future. What would you recommend to someone thinking of going into this field?
Congratulations! Seems like your daughter found the perfect match!
Thank you for sharing your list. Do the dollar amounts indicate the amount of financial aid/merit received or your EFC? I have another child coming up soon to the college application cycle and she may be interested in some of the schools your daughter was accepted to.
@MEC143 That is a complicated question with a complicated answer. I agree that paperwork can be overwhelming and client time is limited which can be extremely frustrating, especially in schools (where there are crazy caseloads) and in rehab setting (where the focus on measurable outcomes and dysphagia can be maddening). I personally found it much more manageable and rewarding to work in early intervention - home care and pre-schools - where I could provide 1:1 therapy, despite the fact that the pay is lower than in adult settings. I will admit I was working part time for years while I was raising my kids, and later I primarily worked part time in private practice where you can essentially call your own shots. My daughter will be attending Vanderbilt for her MS in speech pathology and she is on a specialty track in autism with children, a specialty that I think will serve her well, She has been shadowing an SLP near Tulane who works in every setting and has learned a lot about the field from him.
As for grad school, I think anyone with decent grades and recommendations who writes a great essay and casts a wide enough net when applying will land someplace decent. There are SO many more grad schools now than when I was applying! When I was applying in PA, I felt it was Temple, Pitt or bust (luckily I got into both). Now there are something like 19 grad schools just in PA!
My best piece of advice is for your daughter to shadow some SLPs in a variety of settings to make sure she knows what she is getting into. Good luck!
@momandslp Thank you so much for your advice. It’s interesting because I feel the path you chose is one she wants. I believe she is much more interested in early intervention and private practices than the school system setting. It’s definitely imperative for her to shadow some SLPs in various settings though. I’m not really sure how to go about setting this up, but it’s something we need to start working on. She has a little time as she will be only starting to apply to colleges this fall, but I just want to make sure when she applies under that major that she really has done her homework. Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it. I was starting to feel like everything I read was doom and gloom about this path. It’s good to have a reality check, so I appreciate the honest advice, but it’s also good to know there are people out there who still choose and enjoy this path. It may or may not be for her in the end, but I appreciate the honest advice from everyone on these boards.
When everything else has been resolved and your final decision is coming down to fit you’re in a very nice place. Our S16 had great options and he took the time to experience his top 3 schools in person via accepted student days and scheduled visits. Looking back, my wife and I agree that fit was very important. While we can’t say his experience would have been very different at the other two schools, we can say that his experiences at his accepted school exceeded all of our expectations - he thrived. Isn’t that what we as parents all want?
You are so correct on everything you said. One of my issue is I didn’t grow up here, so I don’t know much about colleges here and my other problem is I don’t know how to make these teenagers understand. But my friend’s son is more understanding and he listens to his parents and us. So your advices are very valuable for us. Sometimes my daughter gets so upset if she doesn’t what thinks is good. I trust that the colleges know what is best of them and for the students. How are things with you? Did you visit Stanford and UPenn? Have you decided on the college she will be attending?
She definitely needs to get out. College days won’t come back and those are my best days!. It shouldn’t be in your bedroom with a computer teaching you.
Congratulations on your daughter’s achievements! My DS goes to Stanford so I’m biased But the weather/climate is totally different between UVA and Stanford. Also campus life is different, does she mind living on campus for four years or would like to live with her friends off campus after the first year? I assume she is STEM major as she applied to MIT, are there a lot of internship opportunities for her field around UVA? (I’m not familiar with that area) How diverse is it at UVA? “The enrolled student population at Stanford University is 32.4% White, 18.1% Asian, 11.2% Hispanic or Latino, 6.14%” I heard UVA is mostly White.
Wish you could visit the campus in Palo Alto as it’s just beautiful and don’t want to leave LOL.
My husband has experienced the same thing with this process being from Ireland. It’s a pure meritocracy there - if you get the points for a certain course on your Leaving Certificate, you will get a spot at one of the 5 universities. His unfamiliarity with this means we go over these things a lot so I really do understand what you are going through. Feel free to message me any time about this.
Also, as far as medicine, which I believe your daughter wants to do, there are many roads to it. Most people need to take time off between college and medschool because the acceptance rates are so low but a college with the best fit will bring out the best in your D if that makes sense. And that will help her achieve her goals while having a balanced and happy experience.
Yes, exactly! I always said to her in high school "We want to help you work towards a happy life, not for College A, B, or C because life doesn’t end with college acceptances.
But the weather/climate is totally different between UVA and Stanford. Also campus life is different, does she mind living on campus for four years or would like to live with her friends off campus after the first year? I assume she is STEM major as she applied to MIT, are there a lot of internship opportunities for her field around UVA? (I’m not familiar with that area) How diverse is it at UVA? “The enrolled student population at Stanford University is 32.4% White, 18.1% Asian, 11.2% Hispanic or Latino, 6.14%” I heard UVA is mostly White.