I’m sure we all agree with a range of “we” that is good: discussions and guidance on fit, affordability, requirements, logistics, advice, and editing suggestions, etc. Teaching the kids how to be independent and able to advocate for themselves.
We all probably agree with what constitutes the bad “I”s as well; Operation Varsity Blues being an extreme example. There are definitely parents out there doing their kids’ applications because they’ve been doing their homework and papers as well. I’d be willing to bet our kids are competing with people who wrote their kids’ essays as well.
Bulletin boards can become acrimonious because tone of voice and nonverbal communication are lost. I think we all actually agree on the various aspects of this topic.
There are some schools that do a form of likely letters to non-athletes. Our S19 received the post card from William and Mary in early Feb basically saying congratulations and they were excited for him to see his decision. Official decision in portal came with all RD candidates in March.
Not all colleges send likely letters. For those that do, for ED/EA, only recruited athletes get likely letters. For RD, a small - very small - percentage of applicants receive a Likely Letter.
Most accepted applicants get in without a likely, and no student should spend time refreshing email in the hopes that one will come.
S20 (non-athlete) got a likely letter for RD back in 2020. It came a few weeks maybe a month before the regular decisions were released. It took us a bit to realize what it was
And some schools will sometimes release part of their RD decisions earlier than the rest. S19 also was accepted to Grinnell in RD in January while the vast majority of acceptances came in March. But it’s true that not many schools do this type of thing. One can look back at last year’s RD threads to see if anyone was getting early writes.
My daughter got a likely letter from Dartmouth for regular decision back in 2016. I tend to think that for non-athletes the letters might be more common in the regular decision round to keep students from committing to other places while waiting for decisions.
My kid applied to the University of Rochester. They sent an email yesterday asking for a “Family/Peer Recommendation Form” to be filled out within 2 weeks. Is this common? I find it kind of strange. “As a parent, I think my kid is great because…” But I kind of feel obligated to do it.
Her older brother (DS20) landed where he is thriving and had several good options at the time that he was excited about. Her twin (DS22) has a couple of options he is excited about, one he tried ED for and another option he would also be happy with ().
On the other hand she has struggled. Had her heart set ins particular school for years but only just had an opportunity to tour and it fell flat for her. She has applied to several schools but never has had that moment where she felt like she belonged.
She heard back from a school her dad and I encouraged her to apply to, but hadn’t had a chance to tour. We went yesterday and she found her home. She was really just so happy with the whole school and felt like she belonged. Got home and her acceptance was in the mail along with a nice scholarship and and and invitation to the honors program. She is on cloud 9 and it’s so nice to see.
She never thought she would want this school, had dragged her feet and appeased her father and I by applying.
I guess my point is, tours really can make a difference. She had looked online and was indifferent, but being there really helped.
We will wait to make a decision until all other schools come in, and likely will do a few admitted students days. But I have a strong feeling I know where she will end up and I’m happy to see she has a place she fits and is happy with.
Now just hoping some good results come for her brother soon! )
S22 received this email as well. I find it super frustrating that he has already asked three teachers for LORs and now this. Since they included family/peers, I think it will come down to these categories, rather than another teacher, community member etc. I hear you though, it’s bizarre to have a parent recommendation.
This is a really difficult task and certainly a strange one. S22 is homeschooled as was S20 and which means that I was also the one writing the GC letter.
I struggled with that because as you said, parents aren’t exactly objective and the colleges know that. What helped me was the realization that this was actually a great opportunity to explain details that aren’t obvious from the application itself. The ECs get all 160 characters, the AO may be unfamiliar with your child awards and achievements, etc. You are given the chance to give all of those a bit of meaning. You may also add things that don’t fit any rubric.
Does your child shovel snow for your elderly neighbors in winter? Include it. Was your child an AP TA assistant for 3 consecutive years even though it’s typical to do so only for one year? Mention it. Do AO really understand this EC title/award? Explain it. How about the summer internship that started at 5 am?
Think about what’s missing from the application and try to include it. Or find a way to connect one activity with another. What I also found very helpful was trading drafts with my husband.
I was logging in to one of S22 EA portals (the only one I had access to, lol) just to check if there was a decision posted. Two days ago the password changed. It’s probably better anyway that I don’t keep looking.
