He’s a music major, isn’t he, @2plustrio ? They do tend to have a lot of 1 and 2 unit classes. Like 1 unit ensemble, 1 unit some other ensemble, 1 unit private lessons, etc.
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Required as in he must take those classes the first semester or required in the sense that those classes are required for the major (and can be taken anytime)? 18 credits in the first semester of college is daunting.
As I recall, your S has ADHD. As a fellow parent of an ADHDer, and I say this with kindess, the transition to college will be tougher. Creating the structure necessary for college success is hard for most kids but even more so for our kids with EF deficits. A soft(er) start can help ease the transition. This is not a criticism of your kid, just my 2¢. I wish you and your kiddo all the best.
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Agreed that’s not atypical for a BFA. D18 had 9 or 10 classes every semester. Typically 6 or 7 dance classes (1-3 credits each) plus 3 academic classes (usually 3, sometimes 4 credits each).
But she did take it slightly easier the first semester (only 2 academic classes), as the adjustment was tough (it was the lowest GPA of her 8 semesters even though it was the lightest course load).
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Correct. Lots of 1 and 2 credit classes but they meet 2-3 days a week for an hour or so. So his schedule is very full. Like his one ensemble is 1 credit but they have to meet for 1.5 hrs 3 days a week.
It’s been pretty quiet around this thread lately.
I’m assuming everyone is busy with their kids squeezing in appointments, checking off shopping lists, finalizing class schedules, and thinking about packing for the drive/flight.
Or maybe we’re squeezing in extra hugs and movies and dinners and trying not to think about it lest we get teary?
Or maybe we’re biting our tongues lest we seem unperceptive or harsh to our kids who might be “soiling the nest” a bit on their way out?
We’ve done some of all of the above.
I’ve woken up a couple times this week, remembered my kid is leaving in less than 2 weeks, and got a sinking feeling in my stomach. Not too many tears yet – I’m sure there are plenty coming though!
We’re just rolling with it here, and it’s actually been pretty chill. I can’t complain. We’ve held back from too much criticism and nagging. We’ve held back from making a big deal out of the huge changes ahead. We’ve had to let a few things go, saying “well if he doesn’t deal with it, it’s his problem to solve”. Our son has been agreeable, we’ve spent some quality time together, and things have had a nice harmonious vibe. Crossing fingers that we can keep it going as long as possible. But ready if things go a bit wonky, as they sometimes do.
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This is me as well. I honestly have barely seen my son this summer. He spends much time out with friends or at work and has been sleeping at his dads house a lot (as dad got him a job as his work and he drives him early in the mornings). So its a bit like he’s already gone. A big production over him leaving would be really uncomfortable for my son so he is crawling out the door.
My son still reminds me though how much he needs me as mom via text. Little things like “What floor is my dorm on again?” Or “I need a haircut” (um, put Lynn-stylists number in your phone bud and make your appt). Or “Whats the address to the dentist again? (on his way to his dental cleaning)?”
12 hours away, my kid will still need me. Adult child 3 hours away has taught me that as well. I did already book flights to bring big brother to parents weekend so I get to be together with my boys again soon enough. (Little sis is coming out for move in).
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We just finished dropping D20 back off for her senior year (she went back early as a freshman orientation leader).
D23 has been chomping at the bit to get ready for her move-in but we held firm that we couldn’t start that before her sister (and more importantly her sister’s stuff) was out of the house and back at school.
The next 10 days or so are going to be hectic. Thankfully, D23 is a list-maker - she has her lists and is checking things off as they are completed. Just got done with hair cut, nails getting done this weekend (another discussion of “Will it be Blush or Bashful”…for her toenails this time). Picked up all prescriptions and made sure her prescriptions were transferred to the pharmacy closest to her college campus.
She has her final class schedule, very writing heavy but all classes sounded interesting to her. No classes Fridays - she is very excited about that!
D23 has been pretty sweet/chill, it is S24 who is stirring the pot. He is very much looking forward to being an only child for the next year and keeps bringing that up. I’m practicing my deep breathing as the two of them poke at one another - are they 17 & 18 or 7 & 8? I’ve been tempted to make them sit in different rows of the SUV on some recent car rides and to look out their own window instead of talking to (aka poking at) each other.
I’m not someone who tears up often and this upcoming change is no different. DH, on the other hand, is a big softy and there were tears after drop-off when D20 left for college. There will be another after drop-off teary (on his part) discussion of how he can’t believe this is happening - it was yesterday he held them in his hands.
I am expecting move-in to be a bit stressful. D23 likes organization. Having lived through multiple move ins (when I was in school, and with D20) - organization is not usually the word of the day. Controlled chaos more likely. Hoping we can get through it as smoothly as possible, will definitely be hitting the closest Starbucks to campus for a caffeine fix for D23 before move-in commences.
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I could totally say this about my son and husband right now. I know they are both dealing with anxiety and mixed feelings about saying goodbye to each other, but are they 17 and 53, or 7 and 3? Sheesh! 
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You’ve made me feel better, at least I’m not alone!
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We have a similar dynamic between D23 and S25. They used to be the best of friends but the last year or so have mostly ignored each other. Now suddenly it’s bickering constantly and in each other’s business etc etc.
I told S25 this morning that he should spend some time with D23 before she leaves (next week!) and he said that she doesn’t want to be around him anymore. 
I can’t help but think (hope) that he’s bugging her because he’s going to miss her.
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Treasure it!
My daughter just managed her (in-town) move between apartments entirely on her own (Enlisted a bunch of friends).
This had been a daddy-daughter proof-in-efficiency project 6 times (Mom had opted out after deemed “too helpful” in the first year 
) – but now that last cord is officially cut.
Now we’re only connected through the 529.
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Kinda’ the same!
@ColdWombat - your post really resonates. So many feelings going on this last week for us.
its our last week to have kids in the house regularly. 27 years straight! and i feel all those things . . . one last dinner out. . . trying not to sound harsh with “nest soiling” and figuring out what our next steps are as empty nesters.
Our D23’s last high school year was pretty miserable for her - So seeing her excitement this summer of moving forward is helpful. I will say, when i see families with young kids I smile, but i dont really miss those chaotic times.
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S23 moves on Wednesday. Man, he will be missed. Our high school sophomore will be the last kid of four in the house. It’s going to be so quiet and strange. We’ve done this moving to college twice before, but it doesn’t really get easier. S is excited and nervous I think. He’s an introvert, so moving into a dorm will really stretch him. He’s got plans for how he’ll get involved on campus. I just hope he can make some fast friends so he’s not missing home too much.
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Mine is an introvert, too. He is nervous about making friends and isn’t showing much outward excitement yet. He chose a school far away, where he knows no one (not unusual, I realize). The other 2 schools he was close to choosing are closer and have people he knows there. I think that’s making it harder on us as parents. He did a summer program at a college once and mostly kept to himself. Spouse and I agree: once we know he has a couple friends, we’ll feel much better. He also has plans for being involved (honors LLC, pep band, etc) so I’m hoping the same as you. I’d love to hear updates!
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Music majors have positively weird schedules.
But they generally love it, so it’s all good, right?
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We will be moving our son to Berkeley, he’s very close to his brother(S24) who will start applying this year. He’s an extrovert and already decided that he will try to be a swimming lifeguard (his current job) and may try few other things.
We are not feeling much as he will be 35-40 minutes away by Car and can come home on any weekend if he wants to.
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Moving S23 across the country soon but there is little anxiety around the whole event since Philly has felt like our second home for the past four years. Plus, we already know what to expect for move-in. Been there, done that as it were. S23 has a single in his preferred college house which is also place we’re familiar with since D19 also lived there. It also helps that D19 is still in the city and has recruited some friends to help with the move so it should go smoothly.
S23 is so ready to go. He’s been mentally checked-out of high school life since junior year. I’m excited for him! Once he’s settled, spouse and I are making a break for the beach.
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My student moved in last weekend to attend band camp. Due to flight scheduling, I stayed an extra day … and my student decided to hang out/dine with band students instead of me during break time! Yeah!! Sigh of relief that my student is putting self out there. College-assigned roommate moves in this weekend; neither knows anyone attending this college and hopefully they get along.
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Mine plans to join a Christian fellowship group as well as some major specific clubs. I hope this helps him establish some friendships! UC Berkeley is a 5.5 hour drive, or 1 hour flight home, so not bad. S23 really wanted to go to UCLA, but I think it’s a blessing he didn’t get in or he’d have been home every weekend. He’ll need to invest in the community at Berkeley and I think that will be better for him.
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