Tell me about College drop off. Did you drive or fly? How many days were you there? Did you hang around a couple days after drop off or head home right away? Did siblings join? Anything you wished you had done differently to make move-in go more smoothly? Looking like for S24’s current top two schools, drop off will be middle-ish of August. Driving is an option but it would be a looooooong drive. D26 will be in the middle of summer captains practices for her fall sport so trying to plan things out. Would love to hear what you did.
The Boy is HOME. It feels amazing. Didn’t realize how much we missed him.
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Varied for each kid.
#1 was at a school 7 hours away (not counting stops). We drove with the siblings, stayed a day before drop off and did some local area activities, then left the day after drop off.
#2 was 9 hours away by car (not counting stops). We drove the the whole day the day of check in which started at 5pm, started to the next mid-day to help setup the room and get anything else and then drove halfway home and stayed at an affordable highway side hotel chain (Hampton Inn or equivalent) half-way back and finished the drive the next day.
#3 was (theoretically) 70-90 minutes away (about 60 miles). I say theoretical because its an in an incredibly trafficked urban center, so depending on the time, day and luck it can be much longer – one time it took 3 hours one-way and the last 2 hr and 15 minutes was the last 4 miles. With him we drove in and out same day. He would have had zero interest in our staying longer even if we had wanted to.
With the first one we over-prepared and brought too many things some of which he didn’t need or use. With #2 we strategically brought was was needed and pre-planned to hop by the nearest Target to grab anything needed after the dust settled with room setup. With #3 he rejected almost everything in advance and went in pretty minimalist. Getting to a Target or equivalent would have been more work in the city but in the end he was fine. We brought a few more things when we returned for family weekend – mostly just snacks and waters.
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We still don’t even know when ours will be home. It’s weird – he lives closer and can take a subway and commuter train to get home. So where I had to arrange plane tickets and plan to pick the others up at the airport, he’s not even committed to when he’s coming back and we’ll only know when he texts from the train and says he needs a ride sometime by late Wednesday evening, but could be as soon as tomorrow.
S23 is only an hour and 15 minutes away, so we drove. Surprisingly, S25 wanted to go with us. We were in and out in under an hour. We’d planned to spend more time helping him unpack and setting things up and then go out to lunch as a family, but his roommate invited him to go out for an early lunch before the roommate had to be at marching band practice.
The roommate was super nice and told him that if he wanted to go out with us, he understood and that they had plenty of time to get to know each other. We encouraged S23 to go out with the roommate and make new friends. Due to the tight timeline with practice, they needed to leave pretty quickly. I took a picture of the two of them in their room, there were quick hugs goodbye, and we were on our way. From the time we pulled in the parking lot to the time we were walking out of his dorm was less than one hour. (It helps that S23 is a minimalist!)
We hit up the bookstore and went out to lunch with S25 and then headed back home. Easy peasy!
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S23 has classes today and tomorrow.
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and his future bride? Yes, I always want to know.
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lol, I’m so glad you’re so invested in their relationship!!
She delayed leaving for her trip home so she could drive him to the airport yesterday. Awww.
They plan to move in together next year, fingers crossed. She’s the best GF he’s ever had, so we are seriously hoping it lasts.
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Ours also has classes through tomorrow and the jazz ensemble is keeping its weekly 9-11pm practice. Which is why we likely won’t see him until Wednesday night, because he won’t get up before 1pm without class or homework to force it, unless she showed up on the 1am train Tuesday night wanting a drive home.
We fly, naturally. Generally it’s been one parent plus one child, but for the most recent dropoff we were moving two kids in at different universities on the same weekend, so we each did one and I brought C25 along. Generally we’re there for 3 or 4 days, and rent a minivan because carrying capacity. The kids bring their clothes and such, but most dorm supplies we buy in a frenetic flurry of capitalism once we’re there.
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Ours is 26 Hours from Home. We rented an SUV, packed it one day, left the next. Drove for 3 days. Could have made it in 2, but didn’t want to press too hard. Arrived 36 hours before move in. Did some shopping, driving around town to get familiar, etc. Picked up Dad from airport the day before move in. Took kid out to nice steak house dinner. Move in day went smooth. Spent the next day shopping for all last minute details/etc. Kid went off to orientation and Dad and I spent the last of our day site seeing the area. Returned rental car and flew home early the next day. All in I was gone a week, but could have made it complete in 4 days including all travel, but it would be pressing for all last minute room stuff/groceries etc. As it worked out we got to spend some quality time with the kid, explore the area, and not be pressed for time anywhere.
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12 hrs driving away. Dad drove with s23. I flew with d25 to join.
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Husband and I flew with D22 day before move in. We stayed a few days afterwards which was great to get items we couldn’t pack or didn’t think of till move in. D22 was busy with orientation so we did some sightseeing. We did get to see her for a few meals and she brought her roommates along which was great as we enjoyed getting to know them. D24 stayed home as she was busy with her Fall sport and gearing up for her Junior year. She had seen the school when we toured so didn’t need to see where her sister was going.
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As @Pandamom2 said, Son is only 30 minutes away by Public Transport (to BART station) and he will come home tomorrow sometime. He generally calls from train to ask for pickup.
He needs to get his flu shot (looks like its mandatory at Cal) & latest Covid shot.
Omg. Move in. Really ? All from meeting online pre school? I know it’s the south but they don’t have to marry at 19.
Oh I doubt they’ll marry any time soon.
But, ya know, pooling resources. They’re very intent on paying for their own housing/expenses.
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S23’s school is about a 4.5 hour drive away. They had move in on Wednesday, so we went over the day before so that we could have an afternoon and evening together in town to just walk around and have dinner together.
After late morning move-in on Wednesday there were activities through Thursday early afternoon—they had some different seminars for parents, while the new students were busy engaged in all sorts of new student activities. Late Thursday afternoon there was a family farewell reception, but I decided that I didn’t want to drive home and walk into my empty house around 10 o’clock at night. Too depressing!
So I added another night to the hotel in advance, and my S23 and I decided not to say goodbye at the family farewell because it would feel odd that I was still right there in town. So Friday morning we had breakfast together in town and then I said a teary goodbye to him on the edge of campus and set off to drive home. Arriving early afternoon was so much better for my well-being! I went for a nice walk with a friend and was able to adjust a bit more gradually.
I think the best advice I would give is to allow yourself time throughout those days - emotions are running high on all sides and adding any sort of time pressure will make things worse. Whether you decide to drive or fly, give yourself a buffer and add time at the beginning and end of your trip to make things easier on yourselves.
Also (and this is personality dependent!), the last thing I wanted to do while I was there was go to big box stores and buy supplies. Really not my cup of tea. I had a checklist of things that he’d need for his dorm (and neither of us are big on taking a lot of stuff), and starting in May I just started buying stuff, checking it off the list, and storing it in one corner of the basement. We also washed all the bedding and towels and put them in one of those large blue Ikea bags, ready to make his bed when he got there. Having everything in a designated corner of the basement and a master checklist that just got whittled away at for a couple of months took a lot of stress away from the actual packing.
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We flew in the day before move-in and drove hither and yon picking up all the items I had purchased online and marked for pickup. All that running around really made me miss BBB’s Pack & Hold service. His sibling, who still lives in the city, came over to help so the actual move went quickly and smoothly. Spouse and I drove down the coast for an empty nest adventure then returned to the city and stayed a few more days to make sure S23 was completely settled before flying home.
It is important to plan ahead and get organized. Book your hotel for move in as soon as the college decision has been made. Start figuring out what items your child will need and determine how you will get them there (e.g. shipping, checked luggage, etc.).
S23’s college has its own Amazon hub which made shipping a breeze. The dorm mailrooms also began accepting packages from new residents approximately two weeks prior to move-in. I shipped several boxes ahead of time and they were waiting for us when we arrived on campus. Check with residential services to see what your options are.
I feel very fortunate that S23’s college strives to make move-in as effortless as possible. There was a lot of signage and physical help to keep families moving smoothly through the process. Still, it can be chaotic. Try to enjoy the moments with your kid before their whole life changes.
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Re: Dropoff - 5 hours away, she’s in Boston. She did an early “leadership” conference so her move in date was a few days in advance of most of the freshman. We drove up the day before her move in and spent the night in a suburban hotel. A little less $ and I felt a little more secure with the car packed full of her stuff out in the parking lot in a sleepy suburb. We drove into Boston proper the next morning for her move in time and it was chaotic but kind of fun. We had three and a half hours to get her moved in and grab a quick lunch and then we dropped her off at her conference and did hugs on the street and said goodbye! Very fast ripping off of the band-aid. She has said since that the pre-conference was a great choice for her, it allowed her to make friends in a smaller group, so three days later when the rest of the freshman arrived she was already comfortable and settled.
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All of our kids were driving distance, 3 hours, 5 hours, 7 hours. Our process was different for the boys and the girl. The boys are minimalists and didn’t care to have us stick around after set up. We drove the day before, moved them in the morning, got any last minute items, fed them lunch and left. The girl was the closest from home, but she’s a maximalist, lol. She wanted full valet service, colorizing her closet, hanging art collages, curtains, desk organizer, shoe racks to assemble, etc… She was also in an apartment style dorm and had kitchen and living room items that all just made it more. She wanted help setting up everything, dinner out, then target and shopping runs the next day. We brought some younger siblings each time and they were helpful and wanted to be a part of the process.
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