I agree the posts are upsetting with students not understanding that the waitlist is need aware. I believe you mean the posters are actively encouraging you change your status - I don’t think that message is coming from Barnard. I highly doubt a change in need status will put kids over in the acceptance pile - admissions should now be aware of your previous need and I imagine they are used to students changing their status. I am not 100% sure, but I don’t think Barnard is known for giving aid if you did not apply for it for freshman year. Their transfer policy is horrible - with transfers not guaranteed housing, register last and may be stuck paying off campus rates that will reduce your financial aid if you don’t live on campus. Barnard seems to clearly lay this out on their website and I just think that many of the posters are magical thinking.
Barnard accepts a lot of kids that are asking for aid when you look at their stats, but it does mean that students waitlisted with need should move on. Also, like most smaller schools - Barnard would be filling regional spots and other areas to round out the class - nothing personal. Your daughter was obviously a strong candidate to get on the waitlist and nice to hear she is excited about her school. Like you said it heartbreaking to see these students so emotionally attached on the thread.
I get the frustration, and often feel it too going through this process, but I don’t think it’s unfair at all. Attending a certain college is not something that is owed to anyone, it’s an option to take advantage of if admitted and the costs can be covered. To be clear we would not be in a position to full pay and would never change status and undertake huge loans. Rich people have an advantage for sure, but I don’t think it’s an unfair situation — it just is what it is. Similar to the football player who gets admitted because he’s a great athlete but has less than stellar academic qualifications. In fact, that probably causes more frustration for me because so many athletes are not truly qualified.
Where is the freshman bios page, just out of curiosity? Don’t worry, you’re right in league with us and plenty of other people! Buying stuff from ebay, booking train tickets for Thanksgiving ($84) because the flights are too expensive ($700)… I’m sure there’s a lot families with aid and others who will be feeling the pinch soon enough with tuition bills. It will be weird for our kids to be around so many wealthy students, but it will be far from all of them
reminds me of a neighbor who’s kid was at yale. he told his mom how no one locks their doors in the dorms cuz they arent worried about stealing cuz there were so many rich kids.
Nothing like highly curated Instagram feed to make one feel inadequate in all sorts of ways! In our case it’s less about finances (very large public university) and more about not going to the gym enough to develop the perfect beach body so as to be comfortable posing in a bikini.
Twin 2 told me he’s definitely feeling “imposter syndrome” about attending UT Austin…both academically and socio economically. I told him he earned that spot just like anyone else who was admitted and belongs there.
Re rich kids keeping their doors open—my older son attended a university in the UK with many wealthy students. He tells the tale that these kids tended to steal items from other students (and from the school in general) because they didn’t care about material items—they could just have their parents pay for replacements.
There are far more wealthy and image conscious students posting on those insta pages than actually attend. Plenty of students don’t really do social media, some of them because they are busy with school and a job!
Same. I thought we were middle class but now I keep joking with my D23 about how poor we now are. They just need to remember why they chose the school and not try to play ”keep up” games for appearances. They may actually be able to educate classmates in some ways.
haha, same with the Bama Insta feeds. My son told me that his “friend” had gotten waitlisted to the Million Dollar Band (Bama’s marching band). I said, “what? Your friend? Who’s this?”
And he said it was a girl he’d “met” on one of those groups - I’d told him that a lot of them were purely data scraping and not real - and he said, “see? They’re real people!”
And I joked, “I bet she’s blonde - is she blonde?” And he admitted that she was. And I asked, “Is she at least in the honors college?” And he said, “No, I’m trying to be diverse!”
All jokes, people, all jokes, lol.
My girl is headed to SU and we are not rich. We do well, but definitely not buying our kids cars and we are DEFINITELY not paying full price (she wouldn’t be attending SU if she hadn’t gotten the scholarship she did, as we got zero financial aid but don’t fall into the category of a family who can easily pay $80K per year). One family we met at admitted students day flew there on their private jet (and had to tell us about it).
I went to college at a T10 school. I was surrounded by rich kids, but I was also surrounded by kids just like me. It will all balance out. My daughter is just so excited for SU and the honors program and football games and new friends
Yeah, my S27 is our “baby” so we will be empty nesters next year. All the Senior/end-of-the-school activities has me in a constant emotional state these days. It’s coming fast!
In TOTAL denial about this all still……. I can’t even imagine. My son was away for 5 days on a school trip. It was SO hard, but I was so happy for him with all the new things he was experiencing! I was actually sad when his trip came to an end because I knew he was having the time of his life !!! So happy for all of them and their new adventures! Buuuut- I’m still in denial about it being more than 5 days this fall!!!
I don’t know about the rest of your kids, but D23 has been a bit blitzed this week with updates from her college. Forms are coming in fast and furious, and she is so cute with each update…“I filled out the form, can you check it over?” “Oh, it’s totally fine? - ok I’m pressing send on that set of forms now” “I know the college says housing isn’t finalized until July - do you think it will be earlier than that??”
I had forgotten about this part of the process. I am thankful that her school is being very clear with their communications regarding process and timeline. I can’t imagine how many more questions I’d be fielding from her if they weren’t such pros at this.
Put an order in for D23 mattress topper. D20 had poo-poo’d the idea of getting a topper before her first year and the first thing she said when we picked her up at the end of freshman year was, “I definitely want a mattress topper for next year.” D20 found it was a game changer, so we aren’t waiting with D23.
Tempur-pedic is having one of their 40% off sale on toppers until Monday if anyone is also looking at getting a topper. They are super pricey but it’s the topper recommended on this board when we got one for D20 and she swears by it.
