<p>-Well just like I've read about others here on this board I was EXTREMELY uninformed when going through the admissions process and ended up being rejected from my dream school and receiving good financial aid and a place at my safety. So now I'm going to my safety school with very 'Proud' parents.</p>
<p>To them I suppose that it's an accomplishment but I really know that I could have done better. I felt that most of all I dissapointed myself by doing things like writing all the essays uninspired and all in a week/not studying for the standardized tests/GOING INTO MY INTERVIEW with JEANS AND A T-SHIRT SHOWING NO PASSION WHATSOEVER!/+more....</p>
<p>Since then I have read countless books on college admissions, developed a tremendous study habit that is a HUGE improvement, and have gotten more focused about school and life in general. If only I had been this passionate when applying I feel I seriously could have gotten into my dream school (w/ financial aid even!) but alas, twas not so. </p>
<p>So lately I told my mother that I was thinking of transferring, depending on how much I like the school I'm going to in the Fall and other factors. She seemed very opposed to it saying stuff like 'Focus on your own school!/it's such a hassle/waste of time/what's the point?!/etc.' This was disheartening but I still feel motivated enough to go through the application process again, if not with my parents support then maybe by myself. I'm an international student btw, and I think being one has caused my parents a lot of stress in addition to all the regular application requirements.</p>
<p>ANYWAY!!! <em>end rant</em></p>
<p>So to all of you transfer students out there, What do your parents think about your decision to transfer? Do they support it? or Not? why?</p>
<p>i knew i wanted to transfer around thanksgiving of my first semester. when i told my mom, she basically went crazy and kept telling me to "get my head out of the clouds." eventually, she actually kicked me out of the house (i really think she has some weird hormonal imbalance or something bc she was def in crazy mode). this also happened to be the week of finals during an extremely accelerated semester due to hurricane rita. anyhoo, i just went and stayed at my dads, and he was completely fine w/ me transferring. i really did not speak to my mom for months, but when i was finally accepted to a great school, she really calmed down. now she is ok again....she is genuinely excited for me, and she even bought me a luggage set the other day. i'm thinking she is realizing that i'm actually leaving, and she won't be able to see me all the time.... one of those things</p>
<p>point is, this is your life, not your parents'. college is something that you will never get back, and you will never have this opportunity. yes, transfer applications are quite the hassle, as are parent problems, but IT'S WORTH IT!</p>
<p>Since at least your title asked for a parent's viewpoint, I'll give you mine.</p>
<p>I think in some ways your mother has a point - give your school a chance. You may find out that it's a great match for you. It has been known to happen. </p>
<p>It can often be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you go into your new school with the attitude of "Oh, it's my safety and I could have done much better, and I won't get as good an education, etc. etc," you'll be right, and you'll waste this year. If on the other hand you give it a shot and think, "You know, I'm going to make friends and see what the education is like - it might work out for me" then it might.</p>
<p>Think for a moment as well if you spend your first year working towards transferring, and then either don't get in (that's still a possibility, no matter how much you now know about the process) or don't get enough financial aid (there's limited aid available for transfers, and especially for internationals) - what then? You may be throwing away a great opportunity with both hands.</p>
<p>This is not to say that you should never consider transferring. But consider it only if you truly don't like where you are, not because you "think you could have done better." The grass is always greener.</p>
<p>My parent question for you would be a year after you transfer will you pine away for what you coulda had if you stayed put..</p>
<p>You sound like a woulda, coulda, shoulda person. Don't focus on regret, focus on what you can do. The WCS people are unhappy with life in general, if not school, then girlfriends, wives, jobs and so on.. Whatch yourself.</p>
<p>Why not finish where you're at? Have you ever considered one of the reasons you're pulling it all together is because of where you're at? Maybe that is a hidden blessing of your college you aren't aware of. </p>
<p>I do agree with the one poster it is your life... how do you want to spend it?</p>
<p>yeah you def don't want to go in thinking you will leave/won't like it there. that will make your life miserable. i chose my school and was very excited about going. it just wasn't the place for me, and i realized this near the end of my first semester. i had hoped the 2nd semester would be better, but it wasn't. don't worry about transferring during the first semester. just have fun and do well. you can worry about apps 2nd semester. you never know...you may end up loving where you are now, and, even if accepted, you may chose not to leave! there are many posters on this board who applied to and were accepted by many schools for transferring, but, in the end, chose to stay.</p>
<p>it's not that I don't like my school. I actually love it! 10 out of 10!!! I've already got big plans about starting up these clubs and putting up performances and joining stuff. I've got many ideas. It's not that I'm miserable and I hate my new school. I'm very excited and am going to throw myself into the experience. </p>
<p>The only thing is that my 'dream school' still has this aura that draws me toward it and no matter how much I try to forget it I still have this gut feeling that 'dream school' is the best place for me. I'm not really worried about academic challenges because although I may seem like a stupid bitter kid who doesn't know his limitations I am extremely confident I would be able to succeed in my 'dream school'. It's not that far off in terms of 'hardness' or 'academic reputation' or anything. I'd rather not mention the schools but the school I'm going to is probably like a Brown to my dream school which is like a Harvard in terms of the 'prestige' or 'toughness of curriculum' or whatever.</p>
<p>I have no doubt that you could succeed at your "dream school". However, if your "current" school is a 10 out of 10, let go and enjoy where you are. As previously noted, there is no guarantee that even with your new-found knowledge and dedication that you would get into your dream school, and you will have neglected where you are for where you might not be. There is also no guarantee that you will be any happier, more satisfied or whatever it is that you're loking for at your dream school than you will be at your current school.</p>
<p>To be perfectly honest with you, if you were my child and throwing away with both hands a fantastic experience at a school you love, I wouldn't pay for it. It's a waste of time and money. Stay home and re-apply next year. Or make up your mind that where you are is your dream. The difference in academics, quality, whatever, between a Harvard and a Brown is so small as to be negligible. If the difference for you between dream and safety schools is that small, be thankful and concentrate on getting the best education and best experience that you can where you are.</p>
<p>Yes... there's that allure. I know what you're talking about.</p>
<p>I, too, thought that I might want to transfer before coming to my last school (Smith). I was still bitter and in that "shouda, coulda" mode about my "dream" school, Stanford (applied EA). I kept looking over their admissions for transfer and thinking if I could bring up my GPA... you get the point. But at the same time, I explored aorund a little. Made some friends. Tried to settle into my classes. It was a tough semester- most freshmen experience the ups and downs of adjusting to college life. All I could think that I was unhappy- didn't like my new life at Smith too much but I tried to embrace it with an open mind.</p>
<p>Then I decided after I moved back to campus in January (after several "discussions" with the parents here on Parents' Forum telling me to wait until Christmas) that transferring might be the best option. I felt trapped, isolated and generally unhappy with the campus life. All that "allure" and "shoulda/coulda/woulda" feeling went away and suddenly, I was not interested in Stanford. For three reasons- too far away from home (wanted to move closer), too difficult (3.1 HS GPA, 3.3 college 1st semester, 1190 SAT), and there's always grad school. So I looked at Cornell, UofR, and Colgate (my 1st choice in the RD). Then after being on CC for almost a year, I realized what I needed to be looking for in a "fit" school. I found a great fit in Colgate, applied, and got in. </p>
<p>I will tell you that you KNOW that transferring is very difficult thing to do when you've accepted your college life. I was in torment for TWO weeks trying to decide whether to go or to stay! That's how you know that you're not in that dreamy mode- you got the letter, the decision is for real, and you've got yourself set up for the following fall already... If I had to do it all over again, well, I would because I really made the most of my 2nd semester. Treat your school as if you'll be leaving forever at the end of each semester- get INVOLVED. You'll be so surprised at the end what comes out of your efforts. You'll know if it was a good try or not. If you got more out of being involved than putitng all of your energy in, then you're settled into your new school. I got involved in my activities and boy! It was hard to say good-bye! I went because despite my efforts and their return, I still felt like Smith still wasn't the right fit. Tried several different clubs, connecting with professors, you name it. </p>
<p>So, definitely put that transfer thing in the back of your head until Christmas. And get involved- if one activity doesn't work, then try another one!</p>
<p>And eh, my mom was alllll about me transferring. She did it and it worked for her. My aunt did it and it got her to Harvard. It's definitely not stigmatized in my family.</p>
<p>They're okay with it. I go to a university here and although it's the strongest in the country, I hate it so much. It's not even like college. It's just like going to high school, except it's much less fun. And gender-segregated. And superficial. And religious. And everything I'm not. </p>
<p>Every day after I came back from college I would complain to my parents about how disgusting it is. So when I was like 'Okay, I need to transfer to a uni. out of this country or I'm going to go insane' they were expecting it. They were opposed to it at first but I eventually managed to convince them to let me.. they still don't like the idea much though. They think I'm going to end up being an atheist, drinking, smoking liberal with a <em>gasp</em> boyfriend -- which I already am and already have, but they don't know that. anywho. they're letting me do it, but they'd prefer if I stayed here because it's 'safer'.</p>