Hi, I picked the college of my dreams. But, I wasn’t selective enough. I didn’t know what I wanted out of a college. I don’t know whether I should transfer or not. I have been researching online about good reasons to transfer and transfer admissions at my prospective college. I have talked to my dad about it but he became upset.
Reasons I want to transfer:
Unhappy - My emotions constantly revolve between “Ok, I can do this” and “Oh my god, I can’t do this.” I feel a lot of pressure and worry about grades. It’s not that I was a straight A student in high school so I’m not one of those incoming freshmen who expect high grades without work and effort. But, I feel a lot of pressure to do well here and that is eclipsing my original intent: to learn for the sake of learning.
Not enjoying anything here - It is tough for me to find people to talk to and find clubs to join to keep my mind busy and off of these sort of things. The surrounding city of my college is dull as well - it is a party school. My personal choice is to not drink and involve myself in those situations.
Better environment feeling at the prospective college - it is urban and has better transportation to areas (I can walk anywhere). It also has volunteer opportunities at hospitals - which is what I want to do.
Closer to home - I am about 2 hours away from home but it is more convenient to plan when I’m coming home if I am closer to home.
Automatically accepted to transfer college - also possibility of getting scholarship that would pay for all costs plus grant me research opportunity -> if I get this, I will transfer. Research ops here are highly taxing and sought after.
I want smaller classes - I know that early classes will have bigger lectures but at the transfer college, class sizes are lower. There are, overall, a lot less people on campus anyways because it is a commuter campus. Perhaps it will make it harder for me to find people to talk to but I have friends attending college there so I already have a support group of sorts.
Feel isolated - I try to call/text home whenever I can but it seems like family does not want to keep in touch with me. I live in a single as well - no roommate - and floor mates are all antisocial.
Better support system for my majors - more connected campus feeling/ better clubs that I am actually interested in at the transfer campus
Basically, I am unhappy here and I think I could be happier at the transfer college. I am going to give myself the whole year here and see how it goes next semester. I just do not know how to break this to my parents because they will be really disappointed in me if I don’t have the right reasons. Transferring gives me hope because I feel strong anxiety when I am worried about grades here. I do not want to focus on that. In high school, I wanted to go to college to learn. Now, this place I am at has changed me and caused me to become someone I do not want to become. Let me know if I should transfer or not - or if my reasoning is sound/logical.
Well, you convinced me. Plan the transfer. Carefully. Not sure why parents would be disappointed if you’re transferring to a better situation for you. The fit sounds better and if it works financially, go for it. The reasons sound right. What’s so great about “party schools” anyway? (You might be interested in reading Paying for the Party.) Almost all schools will have grades, so you might want to start meeting with your instructors, tutors, and study groups, to get into the habit of feeling a bit more engaged with the material and a community of learners.
@dyiu13 Financially, it is so much cheaper even with the scholarships I have for IU. Grades are not a problem for me as long as I am happy or satisfied and not constantly feeling put down…I am going to office hours and working with others in my classes (professors, UTAs, AIs, TAs) if I ever have questions or concerns. So, in that way, I am fine academically. It’s just that the opportunities at IU are limited outside the classroom.
Also, my parents want me to get a degree from IU and will hate it if I transfer but honestly, I can’t do this to myself. I’ll try to stick through a year but I have already filled out my transfer application update (which was for free) and I will automatically get in, etc. It’s just the relationship with my family will suffer even more - perhaps fatally.
I read your post on the parents forum about wanting to move schools. The answer is some students want to go from a smaller school to a larger one and visa versa.
It isn’t clear why your parents would be so unhappy for you to move.
What I would suggest is contact IUPUI and ask if you can do an overnight with student there and shadow them to classes. Tell them you are not a HS senior but want to look into tranferring… Yes, you will miss one day of classes at Univ of Indiana but better that then move before you are more confident you want to go.
The two schools are about 1 1/2 hrs apart so you can go after class on one day at Bloomington and stay the nite with the student you are overnighting go to classes and come back that nite. 24 hr trip.
In terms of your family. Well many times certain actions seem like they will be the end of the world and that those you are close to will never get over it. Most likely they will even if they act like they won’t. It is the nature of human behavior so just be sure that moving to this other school is truly better.
@auntbea The third sentence you wrote is exactly what I have realized. I will be happy as a transfer. I will be happy because there are more pathways I could choose at IUPUI to figure out what I want to do with my life. I will be happy because I will be more involved in the community there because a) clubs offered are ones I want to join b) volunteer opportunities. @Lakemom I want to be sure that moving to this school is truly better…which is why I am reaching out to forums such as these, academic advisers, people who have transferred from IU to IUPUI, etc. I want to get all my data and make sure that I will be content. I will try out the overnight option - am unsure if I will be able to do that or not. But great suggestion! I’ll contact IUPUI.
I editing my above post after you wrote yours. This the their overnight link. Tell them you are considering transferring and have already filled out the transfer application.
@Lakemom Yeah, none of the dates work…I gotta focus on making sure academics are good at college so I can transfer well…oh well. I need a change, though.
He did not transfer. But I had to encourage him to do the overnight. I highly recommend you find a way to do that as no tour is going to give you feel for the place. He got to interact with the roommates of his overnight as the boy lived in a suite so he got 4 students take on what it was like to go to school there.
@aishwar6 . You can miss class most likely. Students skip class all the time. Its the work that you cannot fall behind on. Perhaps you can ask someone in your class to take notes for you or you can ask a professor if you can get their notes from a lecture because you have a personal appointment that will cause you to miss class. Unless your professors take attendance it is unlikely they will know you aren’t there.
@Lakemom I realized that I still have been unable to fit in and these thoughts come at different times…I’m not sure why they come but they do. I want my parents to say it is ok to transfer. But they won’t. I also am afraid of making my own life and not being as well connected to my family as I used to be. I am afraid of growing up, essentially, and although I know I have to at a point, I want to do it in a place where I feel comfortable. And I don’t know where that would be.
@aishwar6 , I’m 55 years old and that feeling of wanting your parents to approve of what you do does not go away. You just learn that you must be true to yourself even if your parents don’t see it the same as you.
The reason you are going to check out this other school is to see if it might be a better fit. You have not committed to anything. You may find when you do a sleep over type tour, that the grass really wasn’t greener. And that’s okay. You could not know that without pursuing checking it out.
So you do not have a problem to present to your parents yet. You are still in the exploration phase of a decision so just go and check it out. Don’t go with the idea that this visit is the deciding thing yet. It’s not.
In my family, we call this “doing research”. We check things out as if we want to “buy” that product even though we really are not sure we are ready to do it. PM me if you want after you go
Also, look at colleges that are closer to home and will feel “homier”.
I don’t know what you’re majoring in, but Earlham is excellent for humanities and social sciences, Grinnell in everything, and Rose Hulman is excellent for STEM. You could contact them and see. They’re smaller, closer-knit, offer a real community - but won’t be as commuter as IUPUI and will be stronger academically. (I think your parents would object less if you chose a university of equal standing with IU. They couldn’t be disappointed, at least :).)
“They’re smaller, closer-knit, offer a real community - but won’t be as commuter as IUPUI and will be stronger academically. (I think your parents would object less if you chose a university of equal standing with IU. They couldn’t be disappointed, at least .)”
Respectfully, a 93% placement rate at the Kelley school there (a bane for the Bloomington folks) . One of the top Medical pathways in the Midwest (OT, PT Nursing, Biology, MD etc) , top specific engineering and STEM degrees.
Over 250 degrees for IUPUI. Look at Earlham, and all of the other little private schools you mentioned. All very good schools for the right student. But fewer pathways.
The OP wants to be an MD someday. IUPUI gives him that opportunity more than Earlham etc.
Its true there are several of his friends that live close buy and drive (or walk) to school. But there is a thriving community of students rimming the campus in apartments. The fact that there is not enough housing for all the kids on campus is not really a negative. Frustrating maybe, but more of a positive. The school is REALLY in demand.
I know this is an old thread, but, as an IU alumnus, I wanted to chime in.
I transferred from a small private LAC (University of Evansville - an underrated school, imo, and OP might look into that as well, if they can afford it or get merit…) to IU, mainly because of financial reasons. The private school was just getting too expensive and I wanted to stop taking out loans while I could… I transferred to IU.
I loved my major at IU (I did humanities and foreign languages…) and honestly loved IU - but there were things about IU that I never got used to, especially coming from a smaller school. Because of it’s size it has a huge bureaucracy and I often felt like just another number. The whole Big10 sports thing can be overwhelming at times and hard to escape and ignore, if you’re not into that… It’s a HUGE campus and it’s easy to feel lost…
I understand about wanting a smaller campus.
I hope you’ve looked at IUPUI, I’ve heard good things about it. You might also look a t Butler, which is in Indianapolis.
Also consider Ball State. My daughter applied there and is seriously considering attending. When we visited the campus, we were pleasantly surprised by how nice the campus is, and as a parent, I was very impressed with what I heard and read about the school. They have a good variety of majors, and there is a hospital right next door to the campus (IU-Ball Memorial is the name, I believe…)
You might also look at Earlham, DePauw, Valparaiso, University of Evansville, or Hanover College, all small “liberal arts colleges”.
