parents, plz help me.

<p>somebody please help me. im really depressed right now. the college admissions process is making me feel like a loser.</p>

<p>my gpa is okay, not too great.
my sat is just sad...
i feel like this is the end of my chance to go to a good college.
ive been studying really hard but maybe im not smart enough.</p>

<p>pretty much everyone in my class is going to college.
i dont know anything about merit aid n im really behind in everything.
i just want to have a successful life but right now it seems like im still in a deep hole. i feel like im a failure.</p>

<p>any of u guys willing to help me? im really desperate right now. my gc is useless. i dont know what to do anymore.</p>

<p>and because its personal, i dont feel like posting here. if u are willing to help me, plz post here n i will send u a PM. does anybody here know a lot about merit adi? i really need help with the admissions process. im really worried right now. plz. im not asking for a lot of ur time. i just need ur help right now.</p>

<p>plz.</p>

<p>If you are taking too much to heart what you are seeing on these boards, it is going to get you depressed. This forum is NOT indicative of the usual college scene. It is a hotbed of very motivated students and involved, interested parents. If you come from an area where elite college admissions is the norm, you are going to also feel this artificial pressure that will be quite real to you, but incomprehensible to most of the countr. </p>

<p>Most kids do not go away directly to college, and most do not finish in 4 years. It is a luxury to be in that number. It's like yearning for a mercedes when a honda will do. If your test scores and grades are in that range for top colleges, your familiy is willing to open up its finances so you can apply for financial aid, and open up the coffers to pay for the gap, top schools are in the picture. Even then far more kids are turned down than accepted when you are talking about the most selective schools.</p>

<p>If you are in the range for merit awards, you certainly should go for them. Most such awards do have SAT ranges for consideration. If you are not in that category, and even if you are, you need to get a clear picture of what your family is willing and able to pay for college. You then need to know what colleges would fit into that range. Anything outside of that range needs to be funded by loan, grant, or work. </p>

<p>If you want to PM me with where you live, grades, type of courses, ECs, and yes, test scores, your interests and type of school you think you'll like, and what you don't like, I can give you some examples. They are just some examples and many kids wander from such limiting lists. My son is at a reasonably large state school, when I was sure he would go to a smaall one, for example. Also, what kind of money are your parents willing and able to pay, and do you have any idea where they may be in terms of financial aid eligibility? Is commuting something you are considering or only as a last resort? Are you willing to go far for college?</p>

<p>Walk, don't run, to amazon.com or your nearest bookstore and get two books -- Colleges That Change LIves and Beyond the Ivy League, both by Loren Pope. There are outstanding schools out there for students without stellar stats, and merit aid is available.</p>

<p>Excellent suggestion Iderochi! I would suggest that you check out your local public library. Most of them have their catalogs on-line. Our library has a small college reference section as well as many current books you can check out.</p>

<p>Also, take the time to buy or read the college guides by US News, Time or Newsweek that you can find on most newstands and bookstores. They provide excellent overviews of the college application process including info about financial aid.</p>

<p>If you need money to go to college, your best bet probably is to get need-based financial aid, not merit aid. You also should check out the public institutions that are within commuting distance. Often, that's the most affordable way to go to college. Also, check the financial aid part of the web sites of colleges that interest you.</p>

<p>See the various tips, too, on CC's financial aid board.</p>

<p>Have you talked to your guidance counselor at school? Even if your particular GC isn't the best, the guidance office or career center at your school should have some reference books and materials about colleges and merit aid.</p>

<p>Also, LOTS of folks get great educations at their state Us & colleges at pretty good prices because their state taxes have helped make it possible. In a sense, every resident gets aid because they 'Pre-paid.' Some folks do that while they sort out what they want to major in and/or if they want to go on an exchange or transfer. I'd strongly suggest you research what's the public Us & colleges in your state, as well as those which have a reduced tuition agreement with your state. If your GC can't tell you, post what state you live in & maybe someone will post states which have tuition agreements with your state (if living out of state means a great deal to you).</p>

<p>Hi I graduaed next to the last in my high school class and eventually first in my two year college class than I went to an independant study college and I have a vey successful career. There are many paths you need to find the right one for you and don't measure yourself by your classmates make your own yardstick</p>

<p>Just to add to Iderochi's great idea - I think you can get 'Colleges That Change Lives' on-line, and wouldn't have to purchase the book. The author has a wonderful web site with all the colleges listed. May be true for 'Beyond the Ivy League' also. Just type in the book title.
Don't despair - three of the physicians in our town of 25,000 got their undergraduate degrees from small local state U. The college has never graced the pages of the Princeton Review book, let alone been anywhere near one of the top colleges in the country. Two were 'local boys' who stayed home to attend college because it was cheaper. Only one of the three was an "academic star" in high school, and he came from a podunk town of less than a thousand not far from here. All three went to state U medical schools. All three are excellent doctors, respected in the community and the state. All three earn in excess of $300,000/year. It is not where you go, it's what you do with it. There is a lot of truth to the worn out saying, "If you believe it, you can achieve it" (Jesse Jackson??), and it doesn't have to be achieved at Harvard.</p>

<p>Most highschool GCs are very familiar with state and local schools. It's when you want to talk about niches in areas outside of their norm that they are not helpful. Those are options you can explore with him/her. And if you are motivated and if finances can be worked out, you may want to explore beyond those schools. But do talk to your parents first, as to what the financial picture for college is. If your family does qualify for financial aid, FAFSA needs to be done soon, and it is wise to start gathering the necessary documents to do so, PROFILE too if you are applying to such schools. You also need some idea of what they feel they can pay, regardless of how the EFC come out. Unless you are applying to schoolsthat provide a large % of need, the number your family can pay, is crucial since few school will provide !00% of need.</p>

<p>There are no bad colleges, you need a good fit not a name school- where do you think the other 99% of students attend? Remember only 1/4 of the population even finishes college, consider yourself in the top 25% even if everyone around you goes to college. There are schools where the average SAT is below the magic 500 score, these students are still in the top 30% of the population ( allowing for some to not graduate)...So, look at the 25%-75% ranges for scores and grades that you fit into and check out those schools. Also consider this, when everyone graduates from HS they scatter and you don't need to deal with them again, you will find your college and concern yourself with your life and not care about theirs. I'm posting this on the open board because there are plenty of others who feel like you do and can use some encouragement. Feel free to PM any of the parents who have posted here if you want more from them, I'm sure they will be willing to help.</p>

<p>is it really possible for someone to go to a mediocre college and still be successful?
what about ivy league graduates?</p>

<p>i have around 4.1 W GPA and 2000+ sat.
im still trying to find match and safety schools.
any suggestions?</p>

<p>thanks a lot.</p>

<p>
[quote]
is it really possible for someone to go to a mediocre college and still be successful?

[/quote]
Absolutely. But I don't think your idea of a mediocre college may be off base.

[quote]
what about ivy league graduates?

[/quote]
What about them? Believe me, thirty years down the road most of us don't look that special. There are of course, exceptions. Though as I recall most of them were exception even in college. (At least the ones in my Harvard class.) BTW my arch. grad. class at Columbia was at least a third full of kids from colleges I had never heard of.</p>

<p>A lesser known college doesn't make it mediocre. But, I would argue that you could absolutely be successful regardless of where you attend college. That is just one step on a long journey. </p>

<p>A son of a friend (anecdote warning) really messed around in high school. Ended up with a poor GPA. Went to a low ranked out of state public school and did great in college. After graduation, he lucked into a pretty good job, but at a start-up (i.e. high risk firm). He worked hard, but start-up went out of business within a year. Turned into a lucky break as kid then got his chance at big name company that only hires from the Ivy types for new college grads. Kid is doing great and loving life. </p>

<p>Another friend had kid who went to highly selective school, got job at selective firm in NYC, but is now tired of working non-stop and looking for a new job to bring it down a notch a year after graduation.</p>

<p>In terms of the match and safety schools that fit you, it depends on what you want--big/little; surburban/rural/urban; proximity to home; major, etc. You can find matches and safeties based on your stats in any college guide. Then narrow down those other factors to make your list.</p>

<p>Flood, don't know whether you are serious or not, if you are, here's what I told my son to help him narrow his search. Many here may not agree, but I tried to put myself in an 18 year old's shoes. Pick a region of the country that you can really live in for 4 years - maybe it's close to home maybe it's not. If it's far away, talk to your parents about your expectations regarding flying you home for the "short holidays" if it's important to you to get home for Thanksgiving and such. Decide if you want a big school or a small school. If you haven't already, ask your parents how much money they plan on contributing. Is there an activity you just don't want to give up i.e., if you're a die hard skier you may not want to go to Florida, if you're a die hard sailer Nebraska probably isn't a good idea. If you can't live without playing rugby make sure there is a club. What do you want to do or study? If you don't know then what classes did you really LIKE in high school. Go to the library or to the web or to your guidance office and make a list of colleges in the region you picked that fit your criteria. (If you are a senior better get cracking). If you need alot of money find the colleges where your stats are in the top 25% eliminate colleges where you're in the bottom half or bottom third. If money isn't an issue, then as long as your stats are in line leave the school on your initial list. Look at the majors list - if you want Architecture make sure the school has it, not all schools have all majors. Do more research and get it down to whatever number of colleges your family/school/GC deem reasonable - be ruthless or you'll end up with a list of too many colleges which isn't going to help you much. Once you've got a reasonable list come back and ask questions, ask questions, ask questions. If you can't handle this task or just can't get it together and you are a senior, you might consider gapping a year while you find yourself alittle more because no one can do this "for you". And this is what I told my son.</p>

<p>Your GPA and test scores are perfectly fine. Many students would envy your stats. There are many colleges that will love to have students with your scores, and some will give you a limited amounts of merit aid. </p>

<p>There are many extremely well informed parents here. I am sure that they will come to this thread and give good advice. PM me if you wish.</p>

<p>flood, you've got to be joking, I hope. If you think a 4.1/2000 will only get you into "mediocre" schools then you are in immediate need of an intervention to wean you out of "CC Student World". You have received a lot of good information here to allow you to find some outstanding safeties/matches. If you share some more information of what you're looking for (location, size, campus culture, etc) you will get some very good, more specific, suggetions.</p>

<p>Flood,
As a college professor, I can assure you that there are smart, engaged students and terrific, dedicated professors at so many different schools, including those that would be deemed "non-selective." I have seen many people rise to the top of their profession with degrees from a diversity of universities.</p>

<p>The more research I do- and I am an Ivy grad, work in an Ivy academic medical center- and will get tuition benefits- the more I think the state schools are JUST fine! It is much better to do well as an undergrad and aim for a top grad school, then go into huge debt at a "name" school (where frankly, teaching is NOT a priority for profs), and just do OK. This site is definitely not the real world, and not everyone has 2400, has developed 50 ways to cure cancer by nanotechnology, and saved the lives of 1000s in Darfur.</p>

<p>Flood, I don't think you will have any trouble gettting into a college. The crux of the matter is how much of it your parents will pay, since you believe it is likely that you will not qualify for much need based aid. Since some of the schools you are considering do not giveany merit aid, or very, very little of it, and substantial merit aid to a top school is extrememly difficult to get, the issue comes down to how much merit aid you can get or what you can get your parents to pay. The former is going to involve applying to lesser known colleges, and there are threads on CC that go over the procedure and some schools that give even full rides. Many are not name school; to up the chances of any such awards you should apply to non name schools. Your state schools do have low sticker prices, and though you may not get the top awards from the top state school, you are likely to get something with your profile. With your being a 1st gen going to college, and the work you are and have put into your family business, with this mentioned by your recommenders and your essays, and the questions asking about any additional situations not covered by the app, you will get consideration for admissions for this. I thnk you will for merit money too, but YOU CANNOT COUNT ON SUBSTANTIAL MERIT AWARDS. Too iffy. I've seen kids with very high SAT scores, grades and ECs just not get some of these name awards, even if they get into HPY. You need to talk to your parents about what they will pay for what. I think that is the crux of your problem. THey may be giving you the spiel that they will pay for top schools, but you can stay home, commute and work off the tuition if you do not get into something they regard worth the money. If that is the case, you need to get the breakdowns of what is worth how much. Your state schools are fortunately relatively inexpensive so we are not talking huge amounts for a family that makes too much to qualify for aid. It' s not like you are from some states where the package to the flagship U is approaching $25K which is sadly happening these days. And your flagship U is top drawer.</p>