I was disheartened to hear that some 8th grade parents have told their sons to quit soccer (school team) as it is a Fall sport and they need to focus on academics. I doubt time gained will be applied directly to studying. I have told my son to stick with his 7/8 grade team. I won’t talk to the other families although I do worry re rumors spreading and a mass defection. Each family has different considerations so I will not judge. It is simply annoying.
I found that my son had his best academic semesters during soccer season. It kept him disciplined and forced him to manage his time wisely. His worst semesters were when he had all the free time in the world. Strange but true.
Had the same experience as @STEM2017 with my son and my daughter in regards to sports. Their time management skills are much better when they have full schedules and know they have a limited amount of time to complete assignments, study, etc. A lot more procrastination going on in the off seasons!
I don’t know about your middle school soccer but in MA, it is horrible. If you want to truly develop soccer skills in MA you really have to play club soccer. Middle school soccer is a waste of time.
@sadieshadow My previous response was our experience with high school sports. I overlooked the fact that these are 7/8 graders giving it up. In my area, soccer (and some other sports) are very competitive at the high school level so most entering freshman would be playing on a club team if they hope to make the cut for Varsity or even JV. Those playing on year round club teams are usually able to play concurrently with their middle school teams. A lot of the middle schoolers playing for “fun” will give up a sport entering 9th grade. It’s a shame they are dropping off a 7/8 team though. It seems too early to already be feeling the pressure academically! Has there been a coaching change or a coach that is ineffective or disliked? I suppose that could be a reason for a mass exodus.
While middle school soccer isn’t very competitive (I’m in MA too), I believe that its all about building relationships and just having fun. Plus, the commitment isn’t very much at all as its over in a matter of what seems to be a few weeks. Several of the girls in my daughter’s grade (7) aren’t playing as they feel they are too good for it and it will take away from their club playing. My daughter plays club and is definitely doing school soccer.
It is best to let other people choose their own paths.
With respect, you do not know why the other children are choosing not to play soccer.
I would suspect that there is a more interesting option they are choosing to follow instead, such as an out-of school sports or academic offering. Either that, or there is a problem with the coaching on the middle school team.
At least the reason the boys are giving is that their parents worry about the time commitment. Our exmissions counselor said he has seen this trend over the years. In our market most of the kids by far are applying to a handful of highly competitive day schools and many parents are nervous. I think some of the better players are on travel teams. We will just stay the course and our DS will participate without his buddies. He has many other EC activities but this is his one team sport and I hope he will continue at BS even if only at a Thirds level. I just see too many benefits of continuing. I put out the post most to comment on the pressure even on 8th grade families.
Exercise keeps kids healthy, circulation flowing to t heir brains, develops friendships, sportsmanship and many positive attributes result in good grades so regardless of what the sport is, I find it to be a win/ win. As already posted, there could be many reasons why kids are being pulled as 8th graders. If they are worried about it being a fall sport and academics, is it that your school ends in 8th grade and the kids now need to apply to get into competitive high schools this fall? Seems odd 8th grade parents would be buckling down on academics unless there is some immediate need causing them to react.
Hi paveyourpath. You are right–our school ends in 8th grade. All along it is a pretty chill, non-competitive community. I think that the stress therefore is rapidly amping up as kids are facing applications, standardized testing, etc. I am just commenting that it is unfortunate that 13 year-olds would think they might need to stop playing soccer for their school because of the competition to get in to high school . . .
I agree with you, it is unfortunate. Getting into selective high schools is no different than applying to college. The school doesn’t just look at the child’s 8th grade grades and ECs are an important part of the app process. Not to mention that continuing soccer would be a great stress reliever for those 8th graders who are probably new to the application experience. Hope your son has a fun soccer season.
My son is a club soccer player also and plays on his middle school team (6-8 grades in a very small school). While it’s not competitive and adds several more practices per week, it’s an opportunity to take a leadership role with the younger and less experienced players, as well as play with a different coach and a whole different group of kids. His time management isn’t great in general, dropping school soccer wouldn’t make a difference, and he’s definitely learned over the past couple of years to use free time, study halls, etc., wisely. It’s a tough year but soccer (and sports generally) is what he loves most.
oh my goodness. Son just had his first couple of days at school–the tension is so high. He told me he must be behind since he hasn’t yet completed his applications! Got to contain it. The parents are understandably frantic–not enough spots in the most selective schools. If you are a legacy or super-rich/famous . that is another story. The independent school race makes boarding school process look like a piece of cake.
My condolences.
The most important thing to tell your son right now is…
Keep Calm and Carry On
It’s good practice for college applications, too.
In your place, I would contact his advisor, and/or his placement counselor. I know that kids can make each other tense. It’s not a good cycle. Of course the parents are contributing to the cycle, as well.
There is an intense competition for day spots in our area. Our children were interested in boarding from the start, which made it easier for us. As we knew a day school would be a hard thing to “sell” to them, it allowed us to avoid getting caught up in the competition for the local schools. Unfortunately, some parents see placement outcomes as a judgement on parenting and child worth. This is poisonous, as their children can’t help but absorb such attitudes.
Most selective does not mean “best.” It does not mean (necessarily) “best for every child.” I have seen children go to different schools, of differing local reputations–and they often end up at the same college.
As to the “legacy, super-rich/famous” question, that’s known as “hooked” applicants. You can search for the term on this site. Athletic talent can be (in my opinion) more important than other hooks. No school accepts all the hooked candidates who apply. Sometimes the legacy kids want to go to other schools. It’s best not to get psychologically caught up in the rat race.
The parents cutting back on their children’s extracurricular commitments are likely trying to manage their children’s stress levels. If they are applying to many schools, visiting and interviewing all those schools, and keeping up with schoolwork is stressful. They probably don’t want to have to add in obligatory game days when scheduling visits.
Most applicants to schools finish their applications shortly before the deadline. A few months make an enormous difference in maturity; visiting schools helps students and families to sort out the schools they love from the schools they could tolerate. Which is to say, your son should not feel behind.
All great advice. We are fortunately really insulated from all the hype i described because we are maybe one of only two families applying to BS and not even to overlapping schools. I think our school really does a great job in managing stress and expectations and in general these are low-key families. I think it is the nature of the community as a whole that things get overblown. My son looked at the list of his essays and feels very confident he can get the initial drafts done by Columbus Day week. The school has a 5 day no homework holiday they suggest the kids use for that. We also have a junior in college already which grants a lot of perspective on the whole process!
Wow – I like the idea of a no-homework week to work on applications! We have Thanksgiving week off, but my son will be away for part of it, plus taking the Catholic school entrance exam for a local school. Our advisor has been very reassuring about focusing on grades first trimester, SSATs, and then essays/applications after he does his interviews . I guess we are lucky – my son’s class of 26 kids will be distributed among public, parochial, day and boarding high schools, and his friends are on the more low-key end.