Parents: Share packing child up stories here

Parents Forum
1

<p>It's time! And should you care to share your misty eyed story of packing up your little one for college please do so ! Would enjoy reading them !</p>

<p>For our household it is now 7 days and counting. Next Friday 3rd child will be tucked away in his dorm room enjoying orientation week. We started packing together 2 days ago. We have now 5 boxes and one of those plastic drawer sets parked in the living room by the hallway to go OUT. This was the best way as you would not believe the clutter in Son's room! He has been a help, he has packed up his clothes, computer, some other things. But the montage of Son's life at home is formidable. </p>

<p>As we wade through the room which has been his domain all these years and thrust our hands into the dirty work , I know what my Son does not know and that is, with this move to his college , it is the beginnning of his adult life. And our relationship will never quite be the same. He may be home occasional weekends or holidays but it is possible he does not live here for any extended amount of time again. Son doesn't know this, but I have been through this before and can see the writing on the wall. </p>

<p>So as we discard this and pack away that, fond memories flood through us. Memories of stages of life which go by so quickly during the teen years.Hair pulling times ,note from teacher, and happy times, wonderful acne faced, teeth in braces, photos! And son just can't understand why mom says, "Ah, remember that, you were so INTO that !" And secretly takes whatever out of the waste paper basket to tuck away in her own memory drawer. </p>

<p>Now is the time to move on.One thing you can always predict, and that is change.</p>

2

<p>Ah, yes, wading through the room is an apt description of my son's room at the moment. We leave in just over two days to take him to school. He has three suitcases open, two on the bed, one on the floor. The smallest one is packed with the books and music (trumpet books, excerpts, etc.) with some clothing packed around the outside for padding. The medium one has only clothes hangers and two tennis rackets so far. The big one has a few clothes. There are two laundry baskets full of clothes in his room. I think one is clean and the other dirty, but I'm not sure which is which, so I am not touching them yet. Clothes, papers, books, and who knows what else cover most of the floor. He works for a bit on it, then comes out to practice trumpet, then goes up the street to visit his best friends, then returns for more of the same. He still has some clothing items to buy and has to drive across town tomorrow to pick up a trumpet mute someone is selling him. He insists the room will be completely cleaned before he leaves. I'll believe that when (if) I see it!</p>

<p>I cry a little when he isn't around. Does he have any idea how much I will miss him? I doubt it. Will he still share everything with me after he has been gone away to college? Will we still have those wonderful conversations about everything from politics to religion to music? He'll probably soon find someone else to call when he needs to complain, or when he has news so wonderful he has to tell someone. I will SO much miss being that person. He is excited about starting college, and I am excited for him. But it will take awhile to fill the empty place he leaves behind. (Good thing he's gone right now, so he can't see me crying...)</p>

3

<p>The packing and stress are all gone here as we dropped off S last weekend and said our goodbyes. It took one week of loose ends, shipping things left behind, and getting adjusted to not talking to him everyday. S has had the time of his life at orientation-week and will be ready to begin classes next Monday. This whole year has been hectic with admissions process, graduation, and then moving away to college. Now I'm getting exciting about visiting him and attending a school football game - we already have our reservations!</p>

4

<p>Our new freshman S packed everything but the kitchen sink. 5 musical instruments, huge Peavey amp, wok, computers....I didn't think it would all fit in the dorm room, but miraculously it did. We get text messages, quick calls from the cell phone, brief e-mails - he says "It's great - I love it!" and that keeps me smiling (although I did have tears in my eyes as he and H drove away for the move-in). We miss him, but we are so happy that he is where he is and where he is supposed to be. This is the culmination of the last 18 years. This is the reward. It's all good.</p>

5

<p>How interesting so far it's all sons. My S leaves next Wednesday and I think most of the buying is done but nothing is being packed yet. In fact, he's not even around this weekend but off at an anime convention, along with the friends who are still here who include his friend/college roommate (who also needs to pack). I know what he needs to be doing from Sunday night through Tuesday night. He's excited, but hasn't said a lot about it. This is my last, so I don't know if it's hit me yet. I keep thinking it won't as he's only an hour away. We shall see.</p>

6

<p>There was a longer dropping kids off thread last year. If anyone wants to start that one go to it! As for this thread, no comments from the op. (me) Everyone's story speaks for itself.</p>

7

<p>We are leaving in a week. D has done nothing, yet. I am trying to get her moving, but she is avoiding it. She said it is too early to start packing, because her clothes will be too wrinkled, so she plans on packing the night before we leave. I want her to at least get her shoes, jeans, underwear, etc., ready, because they don't wrinle the same as shirts and skirts. She has said that I will pack her, because I have the ability to get 3 times as much into a suitcase as she can. So, I guess she will eventually come to the den, making a dozen or more trips and dump it all on me, after she has sorted everything. She is feeling separation anxiety and avoiding it all. Sigh! I think we will be up most of the might before we leave!</p>

8

<p>We leave tomorrow. H and S just finished loading the trunk and back seat of the car with his stuff. He's only taking his acoustic guitar (not the electric bass and amp) so that saves room. He's packed pretty light, I think. I did not help, other than to make some suggestions and pick up stuff from Target. He is a very private individual and did not want me poking around his things, many of which he packed away into cardboard boxes for storage in the garage. One poignant moment came when he asked if I wanted him to clear out the entire closet and dresser and take everything off the walls. We had told him to leave his room clean enough for guests, but he had interpreted that as meaning, clear all traces of yourself out! So, we cleared that up right away, saying, no we just want to be able to have people stay in your room and not throw up :). Your walls, closet and dresser are still yours, as is your room. He did get the bathroom about as spotless as it's ever looked since the day we moved in, which really sort of surprised me.</p>

<p>I've been so busy this week with getting read to teach school again on Monday, and finishing up a summer consulting job, that I've really left matters in his hands. I think that's been good, because I get teary-eyed whenever I stop to think about this change in our lives, and if I had a lot of free time right now, I think I would be moping around and getting on everyone's nerves. As it is, I'm excited for S and I know in my heart he is ready to go. More than ready. I can't wait to hear from him and see the changes when he comes home at Thanksgiving. Still, part of me keeps asking, have I done my job well?</p>

9

<p>My is gone. He packed by himself while I was in CA and now I am home and he is in CA and will leave for college fly out to Wisconsin on Sept 12. I helped him pack up big boxes with bedding from target, hangers, clothes and shipped everything fedex. We touched base this summer for a week. Coming home by myself, opening the front door after 28 hours in the air, 3 planes later, seeing a CLEAN room, sent me in a tailspin. Isn't that funny! I always wanted a clean room. I won't see him until Christmas when he comes home to collect more things and touch base with friends and go to the doc in Jerusalem. The lady I work with who has two sons in the states at school warned me about this stage of change. I don't like it at all. I will get used to it. It has to be. I just can't believe it. And yes, I am interested in seeing the changes. That's what it is all about.</p>

10

<p>We have one duffel parked in the hallway containing compact stereo cushioned with towels, socks, etc. It isn't full, but it's already at or near the 50 lb. airline limit, so that's that. One more suitcase open on floor in office adjacent to S' room (no available floor space in there!), with one item in it.</p>

<p>S' approach is minimalist enough that I don't think we'll be doing much more than tossing tee shirts, shorts etc. in suitcase(s) on the last day. We pick up the BB&B stuff at destination city.</p>

<p>S did spend more time talking to me than in last 2 weeks combined (his mind is on friends and cramming as much RPG action as possible in the remaining 6 days) when we drove to get his photos/passport application done. We are going to spend a month out of country next winter and want him to be ready if he wants to visit. Making my day, HE reminded ME that he needs to load AIM software on my computer so we can communicate when he's gone. Yes! He did allow as how he hoped I won't bug him to death every time I'm online :p. Not a chance - CC Moms already trained me on that one :cool:.</p>

11

<p>My son leaves in 3 weeks- Thursday I went into his room to pack one box and couldn't do it- walked out crying. I tried again yesterday and was able to get that one box packed up. Dear S lost a Windows CD in his room yesterday and we were looking high and low for it. With the search came many memories of all the computer games he used to play- about 10 years worth of them. Hey mom" remember when you got me this game and I played it all Xmas day?" He couldn't throw them away, but packed them neatly in a box to save and commented " so many memories are held in this box". For me, so many memories are held in his room and I will go in there every so often and cry when he is gone.<br>
With much appreciation to all the parents on CC- reading these threads makes me realize I am not alone in my tears!!!!</p>

12

<p>Mom of Two Incas:
I always love your screen name and how obtuse I am about it, and see Peruvian fabric images when I see a post from you.
My S leaves Tuesday and we have not packed anything but we do have a room strewn with Target, Walmart and BB and Beyond stuff, and we have ordered a pair of shoes and a backpack this week. His is jittery in a pleasant happy sort of way. His wardrobe is not a challenge since he will be living in our climate only three hours away.</p>

<p>Appreciate hearing you say "it is time" as I look for ways to do this transition with some grace. Something really really trivial that another Mom said to me is helping me right my boat (her son leaves this week). First she said, "It is time," which really did not penetrate my brain and sounded like a platitude, then she added, "They are almost 19!" Which really did finally Register for me as gracious plenty old enough to be starting a new fledgling life away from parents year-round. With my son here with his younger sibling, it still "feels" right to have them both home. But 19 is around the corner. I know some of us have children ready to go at 17 going on 18, but for those of us who have kids turning 19 this fall and winter, "it's time."</p>

13

<p>I guess so. But mine JUST turned 18 . On the other hand, he looks 28, and he's been mentally ready to go for a couple of years, so now being here with us just feels like the past to him, I think. That just seems so cold to me. That's what brings tears to my eyes. On the other hand, why should he care how it feels to me?</p>

14

<p>My (newly turned 80 y/o) dad reminded me recently that when he was just my freshman S's age, 18, he was sent to basic training for WWII and couldn't come home for 18 months. Same for my father-in-law. Puts things into perspective for me...</p>

15

<p>Got back yesterday, early AM on a flight delayed through Chicago. That was a fun trip. Left at 2 pm, got in at 2 am. We packed 4 20x20x20 boxes and suitcases to check and carry-on. Bought the frig/micro/bookshelves/desk chair at Target/Walmart/Staples when we got there. She had orientation for the first 2 days so I saw very little of her and that left me and her roomate to unpack all her stuff. She would leave orientation periodically to help and give suggestions but would have to run back.</p>

<p>She had all her stuff/registration/housing run through the athletic office as she is a D1 recruit/athlete so that was a difference experience since my older two were DIII. Really different. Hooked up her phone, TV, stereo, built the chair and bookcase, switched out the nasty lamps the school provided and ALL her linens. Looked like the princess and the pea. She was happy. </p>

<p>When I left her room was completely organized and she loved it. She has called 6 times and woke me up this morning. Talked about books, classes, her coach, teammates, her list (diving), pool, shampoo....you name it.</p>

<p>And we managed to figure out a way to hang her fav quilt on the wall without using any nails!! Covering up those nasty cement walls. Lowered the noise (echo) in her room as well. Her room was just too cute!!</p>

<p>Big difference between her and my older son. He likes just the bare minimum but did allow me to coordinate his linens. Looked nice when it was done.</p>

<p>I was too tired and too hungry to even really miss her. I slept on the plane and had to deal with the chaos I left at home when I got back.</p>

<p>And since I know she will continue to call a zillion times a day, it will feel like she is still here. She managed to call and nag her little brother about his apps for this year and yell at the other one to take a shower.</p>

<p>She also emailed me 3 times and IM'ed her brothers and sisters. I have no doubt her ability to run the household from the other side of the country will not be be diminished in any way!!! Her older brother ran the finances from 2000 miles away, so she should have no problem nagging everyone from afar!</p>

<p>DS#2 has mounds of apps all over the table. I am ready for him just to throw darts at them to finalize his list. Oldest DD is in the middle of grad school apps and her senior college year.</p>

<p>Just thinking about it all, tires me.</p>

<p>Enjoy all the packing and the excited kiddos. It has been great fun.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

16

<p>My S leaves (with us) in 4 days and other than the trunk and duffle we shipped ahead, he has done nothing. Part of it is his general procrastinating self, and part I think is denial. He's ready to leave, but has just recently started thinking about what that means. As his first good friend left for a family vacation (not returning until after S leaves) he realized that people who had been part of his daily life for years would not be seen until Thanksgiving at the earliest. I think that realization is making it more difficult for him to focus on practical things like packing. Well, it's only Saturday! Given past experiences, a lot can be accomplished in 72 hours...well at least that portion of them that he spends at home. And since he is S2 to depart for college (one more left, D who is a high school junior) I know that there is nothing he can't get where he's going or that I can't send him....</p>

17

<p>What is it with guys--- S also has not bought anything for school. "Oh, I'll shop when I get there!" He leaves next Sunday and his last day is work is Friday. I suggested that Friday should be his last day, because maybe he'd like to pack on Saturday...? Our flight is at 6 a.m. which means getting to the airport around 4 a.m. S is more worried about saying goodbye to his cat at 3 a.m. He is convinced she is going to die and he will never see her again. She isn't sick at all, just 11 years old.</p>

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<p>The way I look at it, I will love sending packages via internet shopping....</p>

19

<p>
[quote]
his last day is work is Friday. I suggested that Friday should be his last day, because maybe he'd like to pack on Saturday...?

[/quote]
Hear, hear. S' boss knows he/we fly out on Thursday (TG the boss asked!) so I know he won't be working Thurs. But S has no clue which days he's working this week, could be right up until 9:30 pm on Wednesday. Oh well, as I said, he's minimalist. Told him I'd help, but not in crisis mode, so he needs to give me instructions on what he wants packed by Monday. Care to bet on the chances he'll do so?</p>

<p>Otherwise, I guess jmmom's S will join runnersmom's S and kinshasha's S in a Packing in the Wee Hours fest!</p>

20

<p>evitajr1:
Your D sounds exactly like mine last year. One word of warning...
most girls simply cannot wait to pack until the night before.</p>

<p>Her friend did it, was up most of the night stressing about it and
it really made for a grumpy departure day. So, my D, after hearing
this vowed not to let it happen to her. But, she too waited until the last minute. I helped her, alot, but it still ended up seeming WAY more stressful than it should have been. With my S, who has half the stuff,
I'm insisting he pack almost everything by the day before he leaves.</p>

<p>It all ends up being harder than you think, even when you know it intellectually. The emotional edge to it all adds its own drama and poignancy.</p>