<p>Well, today the clothes made it out of the drawer and onto his bed. Seeing as he moved into the guest room so he could have a bigger bed (he's 6'2") his twin was available for packing! I must say he somewhat willingly dumped each and every drawer, eliminated everything with holes, that didn't fit, or that he hadn't worn in 5 years...except for the "memory" t-shirts. And one of those goes back to kindergarten....Then he made sure that he had at least 2 weeks worth of underwear and t-shirts (why waste good time doing laundry) and proclaimed he was done....I'm sure additions will be made before the stuff actually makes its way into bags. BTW, we leave Wednesday, so the minutes are ticking away. Tomorrow is the "you are not leaving this house until you are ready to leave for the airport" deadline day!!</p>
<p>momsdream; So nice to see you ! I was wondering where you were. Remember the story in the news about the teen who was hit by a fire truck. We knew him, he had been in many of my son's classes in elementary school and thru h.s..
runnersmom; Could put the memory tee shirts on the dorm walls. I bet they would be a big hit!
Sorry, have to run !</p>
<p>My daughter went last year as a freshman and just left again as a sophomore, but I am filling in a gap here to let you know the huge difference there can be from one year to the next:</p>
<p>Freshman Year: the year of first time trepidation, shows of confidence but then a last minute of poignant closure. The move started a week before the actual trip when a large plastic container for some clothes and a banker's box with unknowns in it showed up in the upstairs extra room which she announced she was taking over for the move. That looked nice, just two containers of stuff; it gave me foolish hope. But I was unaware that a plastic container and a banker's box are sexually compatible and related to rabbits. Within 5 days, they had multiplied to 12 of each, and, to keep them somewhat under control and contained, they were surrounded by mounds of random "stuff" that would not fit in the containers. It was at this point that I had the "you cannot take everything you own" conversation with myself. It was with myself even though she was in the room because, despite her pleasant acknowledgment, I knew she was not listening to a word I was saying. Moving day came and the "stuff" required a minivan and a SUV with the bike strapped on the back. Before leaving, I checked her bedroom and was amazed to see that, in fact, it still had the original bedroom furniture left behind; I cannot fathom how she missed that. We arrived at the dorm after a 2 hour trip and I felt like the upper crust family with eveything including the piano showing up to get on the Titanic. We could not park closer than 100 yards from the door we needed to haul all the stuff through. I looked around hoping for a porter I could hire and tip heavily to take over the chore of hauling all the stuff in and setting it up. No such luck. We were allowed one wooden trolley to get stuff in and up an elevator that could hold only one trolley and one person at a time, and of course, there were about 200 other people doing the same thing. The move in, with long registration, numbers of trips hauling stuff, and setting up took only 7 hours. Actually it just stopped after 7 hours because she was going to a camp for two nights for new freshmen women in engineering. During that move in time she acted as if she wanted us to stay as long as possible and mom helped with the set-up and unpacking. Then it was time to say goodbye for my wife and other daughter as I was elected (volunteered) to drop her at the place for pick-up to the camp. There was some emotion but confidence shown when the others left. It was at the place for pick-up for the camp that things started to break down a little. First, she wanted me to stay until the bus came. So I did; some other parents did too. I could tell she was getting a little nervous but hiding it. Then the bus came and the moment came. Just before she was supposed to get on, she looked at me and said, "I'm not sure I want to do this." I looked at her for a while, smiled, and then said, "Get on the bus, it is time for you to go and don't look back." And she did.</p>
<p>Sophomore year: she shipped a few boxes the day before she left. She has a car (used nissan) this year which can hold some stuff but not even a fraction of the freshman haul. The early morning of, she brought stuff down and put it in her car (clothes this time were in plastic bags) and almost filled it but not completely. I had the SUV out and ready to be packed. She comes down dressed and ready to go an hour before we intended to leave and says she thinks she can put the few things she has left in her car. She then says, "You really don't have to make the trip this year." Up to that point, we had assumed we were all going. I can see Mom about to breakdown completely. I say, "That's excellent. Make sure you call when you get there." Hugs occur, story over.</p>
<p>Well, it's official. My son's procrastinating and enjoying summer vacation up until the last second resulted in several things forgotten. I already got at about three calls to see if I packed something or where it might be. Geeze! I thought that when he was so casual about packing that he wasn't too concerned, so I wasn't either. Lesson #1 in selfsufficiency!</p>
<p>The packing is only half done and we leave in 48 hours. She still has lots to do, visit the bank, a few appointments. I now think I should have pushed her to be done a little earlier. Now she is stressed with not having the time to spend with some significant others since she isn't packed. So for those who still have a little time remind them that they might enjoy there last few days home more if it isn't spent packing.</p>
<p>Yep, the last moment details. Mine has less than 24 hours. Right now he's out mowing the lawn, trying to earn the last bit of money he can. He also needs to get a haircut yet today, and make sure he is clear on his banking stuff as well. I conceded to running his laundry through this morning. Last night he was grumbling as we're doing the last moment shopping (finally found a bathrobe at Walmart) because he still wanted to go see GF at 9:30 p.m. and they're going to the same university! I told him that within 48 hours he was going to be living two buildings away from her, "but mom, then we'll be busy"...... It will pass.....</p>
<p>drusba, what a great story!</p>
<p>Yes, enjoyed it too!</p>
<p>We moved S in on Sunday. But first we woke up early Saturday in anticipation of hitting the road for our 6 hour drive by 8 a.m. and were surprised to find no hot water for showers. Looking in the garage, we saw water streaming out of the hot water heater and 1 inch of water on the floor and more water streaming down the driveway. H and S took a cold shower while I called someone to come out and replace the tank that morning... so four hours later and our checkbook considerably lighter, we hit the road.</p>
<p>S was in an okay mood to start but by nightfall as we strolled around Berkeley and shopped at some incredible bookstores, he was downright gloomy and didn't want to talk about it. H and I were as excited as kids, and we were worried about S. He finally just said it was his friends back home and we got the idea that maybe reality was hitting him with less than 12 hours till move-in time. </p>
<p>Woke up the next day at our hotel and got over to campus by 8 a.m. Stood in line for about 30 minutes, got the keys and moved him in. At first S didn't want us to help unpack or make up his bed, but when he saw ALL the other parents doing it for their S's (he's in a suite of 8 guys), he sort of relaxed. We did have to run out to Bed, Bath and Beyond because somehow the sheets that I bought two months ago never made it into the luggage, sigh. As a mom, it felt good to make up his bed for him and leave the room looking somewhat cozy.</p>
<p>We met his roommate and suitemates and their families, and it was a fun time. Everyone was excited and the kids were really well behaved towards their poor bedgraggled parents. Finally, there just wasn't a lot more to do because we could tell that S wanted to get started with his new life, so he walked us down to our car, which was parked on the bottom floor of a nearby parking garage. </p>
<p>I had tried to picture in my mind what the final goodbye would be like with S. He's always been such an independent kid, never an ounce of homesickness or trepidation going into the unknown. I thought I might want to say something really meaningful, but what came out was: "Okay, if you get a fever and a rash at the same time, that's really serious and you need to get medical attention right away. A rash alone or a fever alone is probably not a big deal, but both together is REALLY bad." He just looked at me, with those tears in my eyes, and cracked up. </p>
<p>Of course, H, who never thinks about these things ahead of time or imagines anything like this ahead of time in his mind, said the perfect thing about being a man of character! </p>
<p>Then we hugged and said goodbye and S smiled the biggest smile of the weekend and jogged up the stairs to his new life. Last thing we saw were his feet taking the stairs two at a time. </p>
<p>It felt a little like the times when we have carefully rehabilitated a wild animal of some kind and then released it into its natural habitat. They never look back, never have a doubt about what they are doing as they rush into where they belong. It's like, zoom, and you're left thinking "Cool..." and "That's it?" at the same time. </p>
<p>I guess that's the goal though... to have them zipping away from you, two steps at a time. </p>
<p>The ride home was long and quiet for H and I, and I felt sad when John Lennon's "Beautiful Boy" came on the radio. I kept seeing the two of us driving S home from the hospital as a newborn and it seemed impossible that we could, like five minutes later, be driving away from college without him. The back seat truly seemed vast.</p>
<p>hugs to you Momof2inca! I loved your post! and I could SO relate to the "wild animal" part.
Our "animal" is enjoying himself and not giving us too much thought...which is very normal and expected!
Good luck to us all!</p>
<p>Lovely thoughts, momof2inca. I can relate so strongly... thanks for speaking for so many of us. </p>
<p>But I did promise my son just now that I would not remind him about rashes and fevers just before I put him on the plane Sat. morning. I have no idea what I <em>will</em> say, but I think he's had his medical lessons already, thanks to your post tonight. ;)</p>
<p>momof2inca....tears are streaming down my face as I read your post. Thanks...well said. What really got me going was....
"Of course, H, who never thinks about these things ahead of time or imagines anything like this ahead of time in his mind, said the perfect thing about being a man of character!..."
THAT hits home. I guess because I'm so proud of the person D has become...a woman of character....and they are tears of pride...well, mostly. Oy....we have one more week til blast-off at our house!</p>
<p>momof2inca...your post just turned me into a blubbering mess.</p>
<p>It reminded me completely of our drop off for D last year. And it inspired me for the drop off we'll have with S this weekend.</p>
<p>I don't know if he'll respond like the "wild animal" analogy you so aptly described (his sister definitely fit that description). He's a quieter type, much more a homebody. But it helped me to hear about the "gloominess" that settled in with your son. This is what I now will expect with mine, as he's been very moody recently.</p>
<p>Thank you for your heartfelt post. It made me sad yet encouraged me all at the same time.</p>
<p><quote>I guess that's the goal though... to have them zipping away from you, two steps at a time.</quote></p>
<p>I just wish she'd take 30 seconds to say thanks. Or to acknowledge that as much as she is excited about her new life, that the old one wasn't THAT bad.</p>
<p>Momsdream, it is good to see you again. momof2inca, thanks for sharing your story, I totally understand about wanting to give sage advice upon your departure and the best thing you come up with is fever and rash (that was me last year)</p>
<p>I thought it was suppose to be easier in subsequent years! will someone please tell that to my Daughter. Last year was great, we shipped stuff up to school, picked it up when we got there, piece of cake. </p>
<p>Time to come home she puts stuff in storage (after I made a trip and brought home a van full of stugg), comes home with $75 worth of overweight luggage, looking like a bag person, and I am scratching my head wondering why she did not store more stuff. </p>
<p>In the mexican standoff that has taken place in my living room, there is stuff that hasn't moved since june 9th, she actually has cleaned around it without moving it. Because she is an undergrad advisor this year, she goes back to school 2 weeks early (labor day weekend). I ask are you starting you starting to get your stuff togehter? She says, I am only taking back my clothes (that was the $75 worth of over weight luggage not counting the boxes of stuff I brought home).</p>
<p>ME: Instead of schlepping all you stuff back to school, lets just ship it.
Her: what if something happens to my clothes?
Me: I am really hoping that you are not taking as much junk as you did last year
Her: My stuff is not junk and I really need this stuff
Me: who needs 8 coats, when you just said your self you only wore 3?
Her: I may need them if I go out
Me: you went out last year didn't you, and you did not wear them then</p>
<p>I give up, and tell her just start packing her stuff. Her room still looks like it exploded, I think the dog is even afraid to go into it. But she's getting it togehter. Chicky, what about all of this stuff that is still in the living room? She responds that she isn't going to need all that stuff and I could have it (meaning now that it is mine, I could move it -yeah right). </p>
<p>In my head I am a little sad because she will be going back without me. After her procrasting is over, she will eventually get it together and get her stuff packed. Now she just walks aroung the house picking at me, I call her annoying, she says how much I am going to miss her. Last night she asks me if I want to go up to school with her. I try to be cool and contain my excitement, and say yeah, only if you really want me to. She replies, okay Lucy, you can be in the show. I tell the dog, Ethel, Ricky is going to let me be in the show. She rolls her eyes, starts laughing and walks up the stairs to that mess of a room.</p>
<p>Sybbie-your D makes me laugh. Makes me feel not so alone when I counted over 20 cotton tanktops in my D's pile of stuff. And that is not counting exercise tanks and fancy tanks. I think with all the tops she is bringing she could wear a different shirt everyday for a minimum of 3 months. I keep preaching that the dorm room is small and it won't all fit her quick reply was well then it will be my problem not yours and you won't have to look at it. The ironic think is we are carting this stuff across the country and half of it she hasn't worn in years.</p>
<p>I had to laugh Mom60, my daughter has a rainbow of camisoles, many of which she seldom wears because there are only a few that she feels comfortable wearing "uncovered", and, down here, the layering season is brief. So we start sorting through her clothes, making layered outfits for her move to a very different climate - we start with a limit - so many Ts, so many, camis, etc - and the pile just gets bigger, and bigger and huger! Problem is I'm the one that was grabbing this shirt and that cami, and making outfits, and saying, well, you might just need this one! We're in trouble.</p>
<p>mom60:
Only 20 tanks- I think my D has 42, all different sahdes and most worn frequently, some 5 years old, so what can I say, she wears them adn she keeps them for a long time, they are her staple.</p>
<p>Momof2inca:</p>
<p>We were there too last weekend. The girl kept so busy this summer she hadn't time to get too snotty or too think about the change. We drove to the bay area Saturday and did Bart to the city to do touristy things. We made a last minute decision to drop Dad from the trip and pick up D3...it made for a great girl's slumber party weekend and the girls are close, I think they needed that time. Besides, we all bought new earrings :D</p>
<p>Sunday was the same as you, but no suites, old cinder block CK building- we gotta get a rug at BBB to cover that nasty carpet. I thought of you out there somewhere, but we crazily did our target run in the afternoon and little sis & I left at about 9pm, just got back to target in time to return the extras.</p>
<p>I did great all day, refrained from extraneous emotions and was helpful and perky. We've done lots of "moving the bedroom" things together, so the three of us had a system and worked well and laaughed lots. The poignent moment was the good-bye when baby sister (5 inches taller than D2) picked up D2 for a great big snuggle hug and you could see both their shoulders shaking as neither one wanted it to end. They cried, I cried, we all cried.......we all knew, palpably, that it would never be the same, still good, but never the same. no more morning drives to school together with the girls trying to break the woofer with their extra bass, no more complaining about the same teachers, no more any of that together. With D1 in her 4th year, no one can fool themselves into thinking it is not really going to change- we know it will. D2 sais she would have liked to do one more year, grade 13, with every one all together, she liked her life the way it was. She knows it is time to move on and is not really trepidatious about being hours away, but she will miss us & her life as much as we will miss her.</p>
<p>D is in a triple and the other two girls had already connected over the summer and seem to ahve a lot in common, so she was feeling a bit odd man out, but she quickly went to eat with another girl on her floor and is efforting</p>
<p>D2 had made a set of special driving CDs as a farewell gift for her sister, they included special songs of the two of them, sings to which they used to drive and songs that simply cried out D2. D3 and I blubbered our way eastward, glad we had no one to see our puffy faces that night!</p>
<p>Little sis dealt with her pain in that time-honoured way. As soon as we arrived home, she immediately began work on taking over D2's bedroom, it seems ot be cathartic, she is feeling much better :P The CDs still mae us cry, but happy tears!</p>
<p>Somemom, thanks for the update. I've got tears in my eyes from your story. S emailed yesterday finally to say he and a friend from high school were doing something for Open Mike night tonight and that his roommate is "cool" and that there was a lot of free time this week because "not that many things are mandatory." And I thought to myself, yeah, pretty much nothing is mandatory now, kiddo. He's not used to that yet. </p>
<p>Momsdream, great to hear from you finally! I expect you to recount your move-in day with S, okay? Whenever you write, I can so easily picture it, like a movie. </p>
<p>Tabbyzmom, mootmom, curiouser, musicalthtrmom, mdparent, sybbie... thanks for your kind words. It is comforting to think there are other moms out there that can relate. This forum is the best!</p>
<p>I can finally say he packed and we made it through move-in today, without too many mishaps. This was so different that S1 when we moved him. S1 wanted to take care of all of it himself, and basically did. We delivered the stuff to the room and he took it from there. Now, with S2 we were actually helping him and his roommates set up their room. It's a triple and the one boy got a loft, which took three fathers to put together, while the other mom (a friend of mine) and I convinced the boys to figure who who got what drawers, etc. on the wardrobes and bureaus and to put away their stuff. The only mishap was early on when the other mom put our window fan in the window, and it fell through the screen, knocking both down from the second floor window to the ground, breaking the screen. So much for a secure screen! Told the RA, we blamed us moms, not the kids, and they said theywould put in a work order. Hmm, wonder how long that will take? S2 seemed fine, I survived pretty well, only a little chocked up when leaving. He and one roommate who is his hs friend were headed back to the room to do some "Smash Brothers" gaming, with my last words being, "get out of the room and don't do so much gaming!" In the meantime, I've already sent the first package with the forgotten backpack, and various others items. With a little hope, we're even hear from him this Sunday night. Husband asked at dinner what was the first thing I now wanted to do. My answer, "clean". Now, with an empty nest, I'm looking forward to cleaning, and knowing it'll stay clean and I won't be hunting for stuff all the time!</p>