“we don’t “tell” them. It is a family discussion”
But when a school is too expensive, isn’t part of that discussion parents telling their children – it isn’t affordable? I mean, at some point the parent has to TELL their kids, yes this is doable, no this is not. Kids can’t make a rational decision without this kind of well-defined boundary. (Assuming, of course, there are boundaries. If there aren’t, and the family really can afford any school without parents/kids going into debt – well, good for that family! Sadly, there are fewer and fewer of those.)
Look, most of us can afford to take a loan for a BMW. And for fancy-pants-private-university-3,000-miles-away-from-home. But the larger question is – should we? Is that a smart way to spend our money? Is the resulting debt worth it to us – to our kids (who have no idea what a burden debt can be?) Can we get similar car/education for an amount closer to what we can afford without spending thousands (or tens of thousands) of dollars on interest alone?