I think this particular situation is a bit easier than the situations most people have. A great scholarship to an in-state school where there would be a surplus upon graduation is substantially different than an international school with no aid and would require debt. We’re just talking “feelings” at this point as I do believe ANY parent would have the right to insist on the in-state school in this scenario.
It’s more complex when you are choosing between schools that are technically in budget but with one or more offering substantial family savings. Would this family have been more accepting of the international school if it were going to eat the entire college budget but not include debt? Would they still have been drawn to the idea of a surplus? I don’t know how you couldn’t be.
Of course parents have a say in where their child attends if they are paying. It just gets a little gray when preferred schools are within budget but costing thousands more than an education has to.