Michelle Singletary (whom I read regularly, though I don’t always agree with her), despite having one child already in college, certainly ought to know that the young woman can’t just go out and get loans in her own name. She preaches enough about financial responsibility and has written enough pieces regarding college expenses to have learned that through her reporting.
Telling a kid that she can go out and get loans herself is a false choice. If the parents can’t/won’t sign loans for the cost above the state school (and that is their right and responsibility), then they need to OWN the fact that they are indeed limiting her options.
We were lucky that we could swing (with considerable sacrifice, Staffords, some scholarships and FA while both were enrolled) our kids’ schools of choice without having to look strictly at the bottom line. Have I had second thoughts about that since then? Yup. But we also made good and darned sure our kids knew what this enterprise was going to cost us and them, and that they were very, very fortunate to have such an option. They also knew that college choice meant no parent-provided cars, spring break trips, grad school or significant help toward wedding expenses. We started these conversations in late middle school.
I had a parent who dropped me off at college, handed me $50 and said “you’re on your own.” THAT was when I found out my parents were not paying for college. Had to go beg the bursar to distribute a one-time scholarship over two quarters instead of three so that I could pay my first quarter bills, otherwise I would have had to turn around and go home. I was not going to blindside my kids.