<p>OP, Our family income was significantly lower than your family’s. We had never “pressured” our child to get in and attend an elite college. An evidence was that our 529 was a 4-year public school prepaid plan. The last thing we want to do is to give our child additional pressure.</p>
<p>In the end, he did attend an elite school. But he still got along well with many of his high school friends who went to the public college. Even after they just graduated from college, they still managed to get together to have a last “jam” session at my home just like they did in high school. In college, he met some kids from wealthier families. But it appears the majority of them are still friendly with their peers, even though their “living standard” (e.g., the price range of the restaurants they comfortably go to) may be different, which results in some inconvenience occasionally. They may choose some places where most students can go to. One “famous” example was that when Jenna Bush was at UT, she still went to a not-so-expensive place (called Chuey’s, I think) with her friends because that is the place where the college students would likely go. (Being young and naive, she got caught for using a faked ID to get the drink though. Those guys in the secret service must have gotten into a big trouble for not “babysitting” her well. LOL.)</p>
<p>In my child’s year, a kid did choose to attend a flagship state college even though he had got into H in HYPS. Every student’s situation is different. But it is usually the case that if the family of a child is not that wealthy and connected, like a new immigrant family, they will try hard to overcome the financial hurdle if their child got into such a college, even when it is still a hardship for them to do so. The financial situation is “really challenging” if that kind of family happens to have many children.</p>
<p>Then why are you so defensive about it? And are you being elitist in choosing your school over a university in which the average GPA and ACT were a 3.4 and 21?</p>
<p>I mean, when you’ve only been on the site a few days and tell parents on CC (as a whole) that they’re doing it wrong, I don’t think you’re the one who’s being attacked.</p>
<p>I think we understand you very clearly. You are backpedaling so fast that you are going to land on your a&&. </p>
<p>I am a big SEC fan myself, although Vanderbilt is my choice. I have no doubt that a student can get an excellent education at USCarolina, but it isn’t necessary to put down (yes, you were) more selective universities just because you made (or it was made for you) a different choice.</p>
<p>Your rhetoric is also interesting. You use the pejorative “liberalized” to refer to the higher-ranked colleges you turned down (i.e., couldn’t get into) but just said that USC-esque schools are good for students who “are conservative.” It’s also ridiculously arrogant to provide advice (unsolicited, too) to a subset of the population whose experiences are likely nowhere near the same as yours- who don’t, for example, have to dismiss class rank as “irrelevant” or colleges outside their reach as “overrated.”</p>
<p>I know you think you’re defending yourself (hence my comment that you’re projecting all these attitudes onto Ivy alums + trying to defend your own choice out of some sort of inferiority complex) but in reality you’re being quite offensive and just re-igniting the anti-“prestige” circlejerk without any new data.</p>
<p>@eastcoascrazy:
“In my personal experience, the individuals with the least amount of life experience and ability to see the big picture are the ones most likely to believe in the power of the prestigious name or ranking.”</p>
<p>That’s definitely true. Networks could matter. Thinking that someone who didn’t go to your school would be impressed by a name is foolhardy.</p>
<p>@MomofWildChild:</p>
<p>Self-worth is fine, but it’s down-right detrimental when it becomes a sense of entitlement. Just because you’re smart and worked hard to get in to a good school means squat when you’re the newest employee in a group. No one’s going to put you on a pedestal or cut you any slack just because you went to an elite school. As I’d mentioned, we got rid of a Duke PhD after less than a year because he felt that he deserved a promotion when the rest of us got promoted despite him knowing nothing and producing nothing (BTW, among the rest of us, some of us got grad or undergrad degrees from Ivy-equivalents and others from directional commuter schools, but we’re all judged by how we do at work, not where we went to school).</p>
<p>Too many kids (possibly egged on by their parents) get the idea of attending a certain college as a destination when it is only the beginning of the journey. Getting in to any college is not an accomplishment. Succeeding in life is an accomplishment.</p>
<p>@BadgerState How does it imply that? I’m simply noting that your behavior looks like someone with an inferiority complex- especially when you accuse everyone else of being “sensitive” but keep trying to defend the SEC/etc. and initially started off pretty mad at random segments of the population you felt were Ivy crazed. </p>
<p>“But it is usually the case that if the family of a child is not that wealthy and connected, like a new immigrant family, they will try hard to overcome the financial hurdle if their child got into such a college, even when it is still a hardship for them to do so.”</p>
<p>And actually, if you’re that type of family, the premium of an Ivy is bigger because of the network and socialization aspect (you learn the manners of and get connected in to the networks of the American upper and upper-middle class). If you come from an upper/upper-middle class American family, you already have the social aspects down pat and likely will have a decent network (from your HS, family friends, etc.) regardless of where you go to college. For those kids, Big State U will likely be no worse than 99% of privates out there.</p>
<p>So Purple Titan, you have a random sample of one Duke PhD? I’m sure there are plenty of entitled graduates from less selective institutions, too. </p>
<p>Anyway, I agree about the inferiority complex, but at his/her age, I’m sure a lot of us had that. Most of us mature with time and become more confident with acheivements.</p>
<p>True, but it’s always great to be quietly satisfied with your college choice and unconcerned with how others did. Otherwise it has an effect on behavior.</p>
<p>I have become so confused by the OP’s chain of logic that I had to go back to his first post.</p>
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</p>
<p>I think most of our disagreements with you stem from this. It is, frankly, the job of the parent WHO IS PAYING FOR THE KID’S COLLEGE to step in and guide his or her child to a set of choices that are acceptable. You turned down your in-state flagship–arguably one of the top 10 publics in the country–to go to a college where by your own admission you can enjoy the benefits of Greek life and SEC football culture. A lot of parents would say “we have all that at UW-Madison–no way am I paying for USC.” You are lucky your parents let you choose. But again, you are in a fortunate financial situation. Hard as it is for you to believe, a student from a lower-income family would likely pay LESS to go to an Ivy or similar school than to go to USC (unless there is some scholarship at USC I don’t know about).</p>
<p>You also say:</p>
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</p>
<p>That IS what matters to most parents. Just because you don’t think an Ivy League education is any better than what you are getting at USC, what’s wrong with people feeling the opposite way?</p>
<p>OP started out by saying he’s been a “casual observer” here for several years, and now claims to be new to the site. He cites CC as the source of his observations, then cites only personal experience. This thread is going nowhere and has the unpleasant aroma of sour grapes. Shall we let it go?</p>
<p>Oh yawn. This again? Another kid who claims on the one hand to be a newbie (" That’s great. I’m new here, so I wouldn’t know how things are approached") while starting out this very thread by claiming he/she has been a lurker for years (“I’ve been a casual observer of this forum for a couple years now. I’ve made some very general observations that have always bothered me somewhat, and wanted to surface them and make others aware.”). And thinks he//she has some newfound insight that has been repeated ad nauseum here for years. Are we about to get the old Piscatooti and Tetrazinni reference thrown at us again?</p>
<p>The OP has formulated an opinion about the parents here- that they are a bunch of prestige mongers (true for some, but not for most), and clearly has disdain for the top schools (“I’ve never been one to respect Ivy League schools. I think they’re overrated and often filled with snobbish elitists who simply attend them for the mere sake of proclaiming to the rest of the world that they are on track to be successful. That’s all B.S…”), with which he or she has had NO direct experience, but has somehow seen a dramatic personality shift in a proud new admit or 2. Oh Puleeze. Good for you that you have chosen a school and major you like… Be proud of that. But geez Louise - you should have stopped there. Don’t continue by insulting or talking down to the parents or the kids whose choices differ from yours. There is a whole world outside of Fond Du Lac, Kenosha or Sheboygan. Enjoy your college, your major and your state. But don’t insult others in the process.</p>
<p>Quite frankly, the only one being rude here is the parents. I state my OPINION and you take it as a personal attack. I never presented my opinion as facts. Calm down, this is getting really old and annoying. </p>
<p>I’m sorry I don’t bow down and worship Ivy Colleges. </p>
<p>When a poster starts a thread with an antagonsitic tone in a comment (as the slap at the ivies did, or what is and is not the parents’ “job”) , this is commonly the response it engenders.</p>