Parents/Students: How is the class of 2011 doing?

Parents Forum
1

<p>It has been four months, five for some, since the class of 2011 started attending classes in their new colleges/universities. I want to start a thread regarding how the class of 2011 and their parents are doing.</p>

<p>I'll start: MSM is doing really well. She has mentioned several times that she really made the right choice (some of you will remember that she had a really hard time choosing where to go to school). She is learning time-management skills - has a job, is "comping" the newspaper, is involved in a musical group, and is volunteering in the community. MSM is getting along with her roommates (has four of them). Most of all, she really likes living in Cambridge. Academically, she is also doing well - loves her classes and had adapted to the academic rigors of college. I will say, though, that I am taken aback when I hear how little she and her roommates sleep - on weekdays, they seem to get by with only three or four hours of sleep. </p>

<p>MSM's family, on the other hand, are still adapting to not having her at home - it has been harder than we anticipated. MSMMOM calls her every day. </p>

<p>All in all, after the challenges and tension of the application season (I feel for the students and parents who are going through this now), I can say that everything worked out.</p>

2

<p>My daughter was an absolute stress case on move-in day -- but never again.</p>

<p>She seems to be doing fine (at that school in upstate New York where people throw fish on the ice when the hockey team from MSMDAD's daughter's school comes to play).</p>

<p>She says that there is less academic stress in college than there was in her high school IB program. Her grades (so far) reflect this, even though two of her courses are dominated by upperclassmen.</p>

<p>She lives in a single room and absolutely loves it. </p>

<p>She has found an extracurricular activity that she likes very much, even though it is quite time consuming.</p>

<p>She was startled by the poor general education, poor time management and study skills, and general disorganization of some of her classmates. Many of these people wouldn't have lasted a month in IB, where lengthy assignments, frequent deadlines, and picky bureaucratic trivia are a way of life. Whatever else people may say about IB -- and I agree with many of the criticisms of the program -- it DOES prepare students very well for the academic rigor and self-reliance of college. </p>

<p>One aspect of life at her college that my daughter has found disappointing is that various ethnic groups tend to self-segregate -- something that didn't happen in the public schools she came from, where about half of her friends were from racial groups other than her own.</p>

<p>When the dust settled at the end of the application season last year, my daughter discovered that she and one of her closest friends would be going to the same university. This has turned out to be a very nice thing for both of them, even though they are in different academic programs and live in different dorms. Having each other to talk to and attend activities with has eased the social adjustment to college for both of them and decreased the isolation that each of them might otherwise have felt as nondrinkers on a campus where most people drink. They, and the new friends they have made, find plenty of things to do other than "partying." In fact, there are so many interesting things to do on campus that my daughter has ventured off campus only a few times this semester.</p>

<p>My daughter was sick for a couple of weeks in mid-semester and coped with it well, even though this was the first time she had ever had to deal with medical matters alone. She is also dealing well with the rather formidable bureaucracy of her school. I am actually quite proud of her coping skills.</p>

<p>Overall, then, things are OK for her. Mom is taking some time to adapt, though. This kid is our second and last to leave, so it is empty nest time here, and sometimes it feels very peculiar to have no young people in the house for long stretches of time.</p>

3

<p>S found, researched and applied to the college he attends. He had me drive him (725 miles) to school in August and he seemed to take to it immediately.</p>

<p>He and 2 year HS girlfriend agreed to end it at the end of the summer and that hasn't seemed to be stressful.</p>

<p>I have been very pleasantly surprised that a mathematical economics major is now strongly thinking of a dance minor. He has been in 4 performances since school started. He has met several girls in these performances that he hangs with.</p>

<p>He has stayed within his budget, maintained his grades well above the average required for his scholarships and is talking about summer programs that indicate he is looking to excel.</p>

<p>I couldn't be happier for his successes.</p>

4

<p>
[quote]
I have been very pleasantly surprised that a mathematical economics major is now strongly thinking of a dance minor.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>What an interesting person!</p>

5

<p>My daughter goes to the same school as Marian's. She has also observed how unprepared some freshmen were. It is mostly time management. She went to a very competitive private school. We didn't send her there in hope of getting her into a top college. The truth is many good public schools in our area send their students to top colleges, we could have saved a lot of money if that's all we wanted. The difference is her school, without a budget constraint, taught time management fom 5th grade on, research skill in 6th grade, and public speaking at a very young age. She felt very prepared for college. She is working 10 hours a week, dancing few hours a week and taking mostly sophmore courses. If she doesn't totally mess up her finals, her grades should be respectable.</p>

<p>Daughter is also looking ahead to next year's dorm situation. She is probably going to pledge, but would rather get a single on campus if possible. She and her 2 best friends want to live together, but would prefer to have singles. She is going to have 6 weeks off over the winter break. I think she is going to be quite busy - help out with the holidays and driving her younger sister around. She will also be going to London to visit a friend. She has sent in her resume to try to get some summer internship through school. Bu I think it is going to be hard as a freshman. So she is going to use some of her time in Dec to try to get a local summer job.</p>

<p>Overall, it is good (both academic and social). She can't believe her first semester is almost over.</p>

6

<p>Many math/science oriented people are very good in music and dance. 07DAD's son is no dumby - boy to girl ratio is a lot better in dance than soccer or football.:) We could always use more male dancers.</p>

7

<p>My son seems to be doing well. At least, that's what I hear from his HS girlfriend's mother. I don't hear much from my son.</p>

<p>He's taking a hefty courseload and seems to be doing well. He got involved in a very time-consuming EC (sport) that was right up his alley and absolutely loved it. I expect he'll play a much larger role in subsequent seasons. </p>

<p>He came home at Thanksgiving wearing a hat he had crocheted. And he spent some of his spare time sitting around the house crocheting some more. "Some girl" showed him how.</p>

<p>And he has apparently made a good friend from, of all places, Mississippi. (We are of the NorthEast variety.) </p>

<p>I am absolutely loving his being away, as well as his older brother. I feel much more relaxed and I've started getting my house in order so we can downsize in the next few years. After dinner tonight, I'm painting a room.</p>

<p>Life is good.</p>

8

<p>I'm having a fantastic experience at the same school as VeryHappy's son (actually, I live two floors above him). </p>

<p>I was [url="<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/411187-getting-sick-college.html%22%5Dsick%5B/url"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/411187-getting-sick-college.html"]sick[/url&lt;/a&gt;] for the first two months of the quarter, which made the adjustment to college-level academics more difficult, and I actually ended up dropping a class and taking a reduced courseload while focusing on getting better. I have a B+ average in my two remaining courses--disappointing by my perfectionist standards, but fairly respectable given the circumstances. </p>

<p>Like Marian's daughter, I was in the IB Diploma program in high school, but I somehow managed to get by without doing very much work at all; here, I'm given four days to write an eight-page paper (worth 20% of the course grade with no possibility of a rewrite) that coincidentally happens to be due the same day as my final project in my drawing course... not that I'm bitter or stressed or anything. :eek:</p>

<p>I copy edit for the daily newspaper and will apply for photography/layout/writing (haven't decided which) next term in addition to that. I'm a member of the environmental club and Vegan Society but not terribly active in either. </p>

<p>After some problems with registration, I got into all the courses I wanted for Winter term (Introduction to Public Policy [PBPL 5], International Politics [GOVT 5], and The Price System [ECON 1]). I'm excited! :)</p>

<p>I'm considering a major in geography (concentrating on international development) with minors in studio art and public policy. I have no idea whether this is at all realistic, but I'm going to try it. :p</p>

<p>The people are incredible. I'm having so much fun. I'm comfortable socially in ways I never was in high school--as it happens, I'm actually pretty extroverted.</p>

<p>Since I came here, I've been drunk once and tipsy two or three times. I do not generally frequent frat basements, but I've <em>gasp</em> found ways to have fun regardless.</p>

<p>Oh, and I've somehow acquired a (fairly serious) boyfriend. Who would've thought?

Yes, yes it is. :)</p>

9

<p>DS has become fairly incommunicado since forming a liaison with college girlfriend (understandable! ;)), but was happy and loving school when he came home at Thanksgiving. Seems to be handling the academics with his usual practical no-nonsense approach; do what he needs to do, when he needs to do it. He did say that O-Chem was eating his life, and I think a major paper is looming large. He is far busier than he or we would ever have believed.</p>

10

<p>Midterm grades were good. Mostly A's a couple of B's. He doesn't like having to write five papers for his history course, but he seems to be managing to get them written in time. He participated in a computer contest that involved working in groups. He likes his apartment (tons of space!) and doesn't mind the longer walk to campus. He talked about his math course to younger brother who said, that although he didn't understand a word he said, he made it sound interesting. (Discrete math.) I can't tell what sort of friends he's made, he's pretty slow to warm up to people. He seems to feel he made the right choice.</p>

11

<p>My two biggest concerns: He's handling the 3,000 mile distance beautifully and we're learning from him. Also we knew his film major would be a slam-dunk, but what about the rest of the university (since he's getting a B.A., not B.F.A. so takes many courses in other departments)? Well, he is happy with all of his other learning. He actually chats more on the phone about what he's learning in History courses than film, but I think it's just easier for us to comprehend. When he's described the plots of short films he's done for Introductory courses, they sound hilarious to me. I'm a big fan. One of these days I'll get objective, but not anyday soon. </p>

<p>He thought he'd broken up mutually with h.s. g.f. (now a senior) but now says they'll still be an item when he visits home in Dec/Jan. I hope he remembers how to shovel us out in a snowblizzard, since he's in California. He became more communicative, via cell and emails, around mid-October, so he is more recognizable to me since he'd always been a huge chatter at home. </p>

<p>I'm very much able to let my joy for his education in an exciting context eclipse my missing him. I'm excited for his opportunities, which he couldn't have as readily in his chosen area in our region. I miss him and hope he can finish up okay to fly home Dec. 14, as I haven't seen him since late August. He still found math (a distribution requirement) a challenge, so some things just don't change much. He uses his resources very well and goes to people when he needs to fix problems. </p>

<p>The tripled double dorm room should have been a problem but all 3 boys have a great, easy flexibility (says he) and no issues they can't solve. He also got into some kind of offcampus Jewish fraternity (not approved by the university but approved by the national chapter) so that's a source for friends that includes upperclassmen; plus he goes to Hillel for worship and more friendship. His time management sounds somewhat better than last year, not that I'd really know. He only sounds really tense when approaching flight days, but each time he handles it better. Eventually I'd like him to schedule his own tickets, but meanwhile I'm still doing all of that.</p>

<p>He very proudly called home to announce he'd registered to vote in California, told me his 3 favorite candidates, asked me what I thought. They're not identical to my preferences and I was feeling delighted that he has a different view. I told him how essential is this freedom, and that it's more interesting to vote where you attend school than by absentee ballot from home. A student on campus caught his attention and signed him up to vote. I was so pleased. </p>

<p>He really misses his dog and older sibs, so decided to spend all of January around this coast, rather than do things on campus. For a freshman, I think that's very understandable. He seems to want to touch home base, go visit grandparents and sibs this coming winter break. No problem; there's the Greyhound station!!</p>

12

<p>Great idea, MSMDad. It's wonderful to hear how everyone's kids are doing. Our son finished his first term at Thanksgiving and is now home until Jan. 2. It's wonderful having him here, and I think he's enjoying the break, although he's made good friends at school and really loves it. He did very well in his classes and registered for the ones he wants for next term. It's been great hearing about all his experiences firsthand. </p>

<p>He's a great kid to have around, so we've loved having him home for an extended period. He's been hanging out with his HS friends who are attending the state uni here and looking forward to seeing the kids who come home later from schools further afield, including his girlfriend.. As VeryHappy put it, life is good.</p>

13

<p>S1 seems to be adjusting well! Grades are a mix of A and B, with a full honors courseload. Probably could use a little more challenge, but classes next semester should take care of that.</p>

<p>He was concerned about having a roommate. His roommate is great, whoever placed the two boys together needs to be commended. They are both untidy, frugal, and have a similar quirky sense of humor. They both keep late hours. I guess that is normal for college kids.</p>

<p>He is adjusting very well to being away as well as to the college couseload. It is the DH, myself and S2, S3, S4, and S5 who are having a harder time with him being away.</p>

14

<p>S is doing well and has a nice group of friends. But, truth be told, he hasn't yet taken to the school as well as one would hope -- although he does like it and certainly seems to be having a good time. </p>

<p>That's not entirely surprising, though. He is somewhat shy and it really takes him a while before he reaches comfort zone. All of this is to say that he is still fighting homesickness, and often feels that he has much more in common with his friends here than the friends he is making at school. It doesn't help that his main EC activity, which he loves, isn't working out very well at school -- he hasn't been allowed to participate nearly as much as he would like. </p>

<p>He's considering transferring to get closer to home. I hope he doesn't, but we've made it clear that it is his decision.</p>

15

<p>lderochi, I do think that transitioning into college is, by definition, not easy. For me, when I say that my S loves his school and is doing great, these pronouncement are still in the larger context of a sometimes-grueling, often uncomfortable adjustment. </p>

<p>I think you're smart to leave transferring up to your S. My guess is that he'll continue to adapt to his new environment--it'll become his "comfort zone" eventually.</p>

16

<p>camelia, glad to hear that you are doing better - I had followed your earlier thread with interest.</p>

17

<p>My D has adjusted well to college in general. She has kept on top of her studies. Her school is not known for grade inflation; in fact, one of her profs is known for "never" giving A's (she took his class, though, because he was rumored to be a great prof --- and she agrees that he is). She has some very nice friends and enjoys hanging out with them. She is involved in several groups on campus & volunteers in the community. After some homesickness & the usual growing pains of learning to be responsible for herself, she has adjusted well. She & her roommate have absolutely nothing in common & they merely coexist. While that is a bit of a stress, plenty of her friends at other schools are going through the same thing. </p>

<p>She wants very much to transfer, for academic reasons. The school she wants to transfer to is very selective, and she was accepted there this past year. She is ridiculously stressed out ... upset that she didn't go there in the first place, worried that she won't be accepted this time around. I tried to explain that hindsight is wonderful, but normal human beings do not have the benefit of hindsight until it's too late! Anyway, she didn't know some of the things she knows now back then ... and she is also different now than she was back in April. I would prefer that we didn't have to relive last year's stress all over again. But as a recent Crankshaft comic strip stated, "Being a parent is a life sentence."</p>

<p>We enjoyed having her home for a week at Thanksgiving & we look forward to seeing her again in a couple weeks. After that, we will probably only see her at Easter & then at the end of May. While we miss her, we know that she needs to be "away" for college. H & I are just happy she isn't doing many of the things WE did while we were away at school!!</p>

18

<p>daughter has continued to amaze me with her transition, especially since she's not attending what she thought was her dream school.</p>

<p>She has a good friend who she graduated with who is pregnant and due in 4 weeks. Prior to leaving for school, she was obsessed with how she was going to spend her time over Christmas break, spring break, and summer 'helping' her friend, much to my disappointment. I really wanted her to concentrate on auditioning for some sort of summer stock or summer performance opportunities (her school does three musicals every summer), but she was set on coming home. When she was at home for Thanksgiving, she was asked by a friend of ours what she planned to do this summer and if it included coming home. I was sure she'd answer, "Of course, so I can be around for Friend and her baby," but she surprised me by saying, "I'd not come home if I could get a part in something." So at least to me, it was if she's ready to move on.</p>

<p>She also had been talking about how her spring break coincides with her high school's annual jazz band and show choir invitational, and how much she looked forward to being here for it. Well, two days ago she told me she'd been asked to go to the Dominican Republic with one of her new college friends (and her parents) and another college friend over spring break. She really, really wants to go (this is a kid who usually shuns the sun as she is very proud of her porcelain, beautiful skin), which surprised me because when she came home for Thanksgiving, she alluded to the fact that it was almost too long between August and when she came home. If she goes to the DR for spring break, she won't come home at all next semester (or maybe we'd work something out for Easter). She's also applying to be a student advisor next year... so all signs are she's doing far better than anyone expected, and it appears as if she realizes that her life is quite different from friends of hers who have not taken the traditional college route.</p>

19

<p>Note WIth my eldest I learned: Fall has many visits home, but after December holidays, there's no similar return time except for Spring break. By then, they might find a group travelling south for warm weather, or being invited to someone's home in an exciting new place. Rather than say "no" to Spring Break away, I found an excuse to visit S-1's campus around March (he was in a play) for an overnight in a motel; it was worth it. He lived only 4 hours away. SImilar pattern with D. </p>

<p>My 2011 kid lives too far for travel home. Not this year, but maybe in another year I'll try for a Spring visit to him, with plenty of tourism for me since it'd be during his regular week of college. Maybe just meet for a meal off-campus together. We'll see.</p>

20

<p>S is doing well, although we haven't seen any grades yet. He's involved in lots of things, although I couldn't exactly say what all of them are. He's a terrible communicator, and that's been very difficult and painful for us. Parent's Weekend and Thanksgiving helped, though. S loves his school and thinks he made the right choice. His dorm and roommate and hallmates "rock," apparently. He has joined the THEATER group. I'd have lost a substantial chunk of money betting that that wouldn't happen.</p>

<p>He's just very far away. Husband says we should have had more kids. Fine time to tell me....I'm fifty-one.</p>

<p>How long is it until Christmas break?</p>