Parents' week, do we have to go?

<p>I know this topic must have been discussed before. I tried several searches and they always serach parents and weekend seperately, - resulting in too many hits.</p>

<p>Basically, someone told DW that parents MUST be there during parents' weekend. The reason, all other kids will have their parents and yours will be so lonely if you don't go. I read the activity agenda and found nothing planned that will be for student and their parents doing something together. </p>

<p>We love our DD and will love to see her every chance we have. We would if we could. But, do we have to?</p>

<p>No you don't have to go. We went for Freshman year Parents Weekend. Neither our freshman nor DW enjoyed the experience (ie, the crowds). Nowadays we try to visit Halloween Weekend which is always fun around college campus'.</p>

<p>No, you do not. It may be true that those without parents will be few at your daughter's school, but there is nothing required about it.</p>

<p>Freshman year, our son's roommate did not have a parent at parents' weekend, so we adopted him and included him in several of our restaurant meals and outings.</p>

<p>How does your daughter feel about this? I'd say that's what is important.</p>

<p>I agree, you don't have to go. However, my husband and I have thoroughly enjoyed ourselves the past two years (daughter has enjoyed our visits, too). At her college, we can sit in on classes, attend convocation, go to any number of activities. Or take her shopping. We had a lovely dinner out with her freshman roommates and their parents.</p>

<p>No, it's no big deal if you don't go.</p>

<p>Your D is not going to be the only college student whose parents don't come. She'll definitely have company hanging out with other solo students or her roommate or dorm friends may ask her to tag along for a meal with their families. </p>

<p>We haven't attended any Parents or Family visit weekends at S's college --- though I sometimes think we should have for the sake of an informal visit for younger S --- due to work schedules and just the expense of visiting at a time when hotel charges are ratcheted up. And the fact that S didn't care if we came for that visit or not. And also that we would see him anyway in six weeks for the Thanksgiving break. </p>

<p>There's nothing compelling about visiting during Parent's weekend if you're not already inclined to go because you want to.</p>

<p>D is a junior, and we haven't gone to one. We spend time at the school with D during move-in weekend every year, but skip the parents weekend since D goes to school a couple thousand miles from home. </p>

<p>Correct me if I'm wrong, CCers, but is Parents' Weekend focused a fair amount on fundrasing?</p>

<p>From those who have gone to PW, do you think 90% of the parents were there, or like 50%?</p>

<p>DD read CC too so I would contact her to see how does she feel about this. Thanks.</p>

<p>We went freshman year, and enjoyed it, but haven't been back since (D is a junior). I think the percentages are much higher for freshman parents than other classes, but I wouldn't put it at 90%. A number of D's friends' parents, particularly those who lived far away, didn't come. </p>

<p>katliamom, there was no fundraising that I was aware of. D's school seems to use the mail for that. :rolleyes:</p>

<p>This will be our 10th college year (3rd kid's soph year) and we have only gone to 1 parent weekend. Would have gone to 2 but DD1 was at an away regatta for her first year's parent weekend; we went to the regatta.</p>

<p>We prefer to visit at other times; it gives us more time to include the friends if they are not busy with their own families.</p>

<p>How funny. D is a freshman and when I read the agenda for parents' weekend my first thought was, "When will I spend time with d?" We are planning on attending, but, personally, I think we will skip most of the organized seminars/events for parents & just spend time with d. She is the only reason we want to attend anyway. It's a 5 hour drive & I just got a new Prius, so I'm actually looking forward to the drive!</p>

<p>S is a senior and we have never been. DH is very busy at work in the fall so we can't make it. S have never minded. I'm pretty sure he enjoys tailgating with his friends before the football game more than he would with us,lol.<br>
He is at an instate public (which also happens to be DH's alma mater) so it's not like Parent's Weekend is our only opportunity to see him. </p>

<p>Some of his friends' parents came freshman yr. but it wasn't a big deal. I don't think any have been since. He's at a big state u. where lots of parents don't go. It may be different at a small school.</p>

<p>DadII, I would guess that this depends on the school. Freshman year (at this university of 6000 undergrads), I'd say the maybe 80% of the freshmen had a parent in attendance--wild guess. </p>

<p>We attended a few of the planned sessions for parents (the presentation by his department is always worthwhile), went to a couple of evening events with our son, and took him out to eat at every opportunity!</p>

<p>Freshman year, the parents' weekend is a great opportunity for the new student to show the parents around and share what life is like now. But again: it is not a must-do.</p>

<p>Not required. Our D was quite succinct on the phone when this first came up:</p>

<p>"I see there is a parents weekend, should we come?"</p>

<p>"You really don't have to."</p>

<p>"Well, should we come?"</p>

<p>"Only if you want to."</p>

<p>"Do you want us to come?"</p>

<p>"I am not sure you would like it."</p>

<p>"So, are you telling me it is better if we don't come?"</p>

<p>"Certainly, probably better for you."</p>

<p>"I guess we won't then."</p>

<p>"That's fine, it's no big deal."</p>

<p>I have this thought that some day she is going to go into politics.</p>

<p>All 3 S's were fine with us not going. We were not big on the big planned events and getting restaurant reservations in a college town at other times was easier. So we went on an off weekend and took S and roommate out. They were just as happy not to have to try to do something with us all weekend. </p>

<p>DD on the other hand is different. She likes the activities planned for both parents and students together. We get to go to her classes and she want us there for studio. She already has plans on where we are going shopping. And her university is in a large city so dinner isn't an issue. </p>

<p>Different strokes ....</p>

<p>At D's school, there was a freshman weekend and a junior parent weekend. H went to the freshman weekend and we both went to the junior parent weekend. I had a blast at the junior parent weekend!!</p>

<p>If you can't afford the time or $$, don't go. But if neither is a problem, I'd go.</p>

<p>Freshman year, I went, and the parents (some had only one parent come, not both) of D's friends and the girls all got together and went out to eat together, and took the friends that didn't have parents there. Second year, I didn't go, and she was on the receiving end. Jr. year abroad - I met her for Christmas. No Parents' Weekend then. This year, D did not want me to be there for move-in, and opted instead to have me come Parents' Weekend for her senior year, so that is what I will do. (She knew I could only afford one trip.) Guess the senior year makes it more important and special.</p>

<p>DadII, about 3,000 parents attended the 2008 Parents' Weekend at your D's school. </p>

<p>You can do the math to figure the percentage of parents who attend versus the total number of UG. Of course, nobody knows how the distribution between freshmen and upperclassmen works. However, what is certain is that the number is a lot smaller than 50%, let alone 90%. </p>

<p>The real issue is one of dollars and cents. Is it better for the parents to fly to the school or is it better to fly the student home for an extended weekend? Remember that PW falls between the Christmas vacation and the end of the second quarter. While it is always nice to meet your child --or even the other parents-- those events are not essential. </p>

<p>Lastly, be aware that 3,000 parents flocking to your school means that the hotels will be booked solidly and that few bargains will be available, even at the numerous Fleebag Inns that cover the local landscape.</p>

<p>D is a senior, and we have NEVER been to a parents designated visit date. Why bother fighting the crowds --- better to visit on your own time, on a more significant date. D is a singer and we saved our money for dates when she would have an important recital or perform in the opera.</p>

<p>Drusba,
WAIT A MINUTE! That was MY conversation with MY D! Those exact same words! How funny!</p>

<p>And no, we are not going parents weekend. We're going the weekend before!</p>

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<p>Not at D's school. They were not normally shy about hitting us up for extra money, but they managed to restrain themselves during the Parents' Weekend.</p>