<p>I have never gone. I have visited my daughter each year at her college, well after she was settled in and at times when nothing special is going on at her school. I have been able to attend class with her, meet profs outside of class, and attend open lectures at her college --- plus socialize and meet her suitemates. </p>
<p>Unless you have some odd desire to meet the families of other students, I really don't seek the point of choosing to visit parent's weekend rather than some other time. I do think it is nice to visit at least once during the school year -- it gives you a chance to see a little of your daughter's world.</p>
<p>I agree it isn't a must visit, but I'm glad we went freshmen year for my older son. It was nice to see his new world and to meet his new friends and their families. Those friends continue to be his friends today, and we have remained friendly with the parents and seen them at other events. We're looking forward to visiting our younger son in November at his first parents weekend - although I think my husband is really looking forward to going to the Northwestern-Ohio State football game.</p>
<p>S1's school calls it "family weekend" and plans it to occur concurrently with the Humanities open house. They even have special activities for the under 12 set. It is a great time and we enjoy attending the lectures provided by distinguished Humanities profs. We see many "repeat" parents since they do not convey the idea that it is for first year students alone.</p>
<p>Dad II...our DD also goes to college across the country. We have never been for Parent's Weekend because of the timing (February is not a good travel time for the parents in this household due to work obligations). DD has been "adopted" by the parents of friends, taken out to dinner, etc. She says...if we come we should come to visit on another weekend as PW is a free for all...hotels are crowded, restaurants are crowded, etc. We are hoping to get out there for a long weekend this year, but it will not be PW. </p>
<p>DS's school was much closer. We went the first year, saw him minimally, took him out to eat a couple of times. We never went again...he was always busy doing things that were part of the PW weekend events. Since we drove up to see him often, we didn't feel compelled to go to PW..and he didn't care at all because he was busy.</p>
<p>Bottom line...if you want to go...go. If you don't, don't. It is not something that is mandatory....anywhere.</p>
<p>It's a 5 1/2 hour drive and it's called family weekend it's 5 weeks into school. I'm going to take my mother who's footing a lot of the bill so she can see what she's investing in. My daughter basically said. "So why are you guys coming? oh ok that's cool can you bring me ..." I've also offered to drive her friend's mother up also. I'm looking forward to it, but if I didn't have the time I would wait for her to come down for columbus day</p>
<p>Obviously the answer is you do not have to go. But the real answer depends on your individual situation. I think some things to consider are-</p>
<p>-how far from the college do you live? Across country or a few hours? The further the more difficult I would think. (Although My S's roommate's parents came from Calif. to NY for PW)
-It will be more expensive to come PW. Living in a college town and having 3 kids in college (all different places), I know motels increase their prices. I suppose restaurants do as well.
-Is this difficult to work around your work schedule. </p>
<p>But also consider-</p>
<p>-How will your kid feel about being alone? Even if they say it is okay, is it? Refer to inputs on this thread. Some wrote about their kid "tagging along" or having their kid's roommate "tag along" to dinner, shopping, events, etc. Do you want your kid to be a tag along, or do you or your kid care?
-It is only four years. (Although I agree first-year is probably the most important) Did you go to every event in HS? Why not college? Are you going to regret that you did not attend when these opportunities are gone?</p>
<p>We have found the most important weekends to visit for our kids, centered around their individual activities. But for all, we went to the first years PW. Our D2 (first-year now) has said on several phone conversations, "You are coming parents weekend aren't you?" She is not homesick and appears to be adapting well, but apparently still wants us there.</p>
<p>We fully understood that PW is not mandatory from school policy point of view. I was trying to find out what is customery, if everyone is going or not.</p>
<p>Thanks to all these examples, I think it will be a nice thing to do. When talking to DD, she said she does not care and she should be able to handle those two days. </p>
<p>So, I think we will try to go at a different time other than PW. It will be great if we could fit DS's schedule so he could see the school in Spring.</p>
<p>We offered to go to PW when our S was a freshman but he strenuously objected, saying we had all just spent two weeks in LA moving him in & school had just started. He figured it would just be crowded & a waste of money. We were fine with not attending. His room mate's mom went--since he was homesick, I think it was good for both him & the mom to spend a bit more time together. S was fine with us not coming & we were too. When I was in LA later in the school year, S said he was too busy to see me (he was supposed to go skiing but ended up in his bed sick instead & never told me of the change in the brief time I was in town).
Fast forward to this, his junior year. We told him we'd be attending PW, since we have always wanted to see a USC football game in the Collesium & will be doing so while he's still a student & bringing D with us (she starts as a transfer at USC in January). We're pleased and excited to be coming & S seems happy about it too.
Visiting at a different time when your child's schedule & yours allows it can make for a more satisfying visit. We've never been a fan of crowds, but are interested to see how this all turns out.</p>
<p>I will definitely go to my oldest's (and my!) first ever PW, but mostly because I had a work conflict and couldn't participate in the move-in. For me, it's mid-distance, and I'm thinking of it as a mini-vacation. I'm looking forward to seeing how my boy is adjusting and to the sporting events. I did, however, just send in my "no thanks" to the President's reception. I agree that I'm not making the trip to hang with others. I could see this turning into a visit on a different weekend in future years (much less crowded, I'm sure), but would like to do this one to see what it's all about. </p>
<p>(Besides, it's the earliest excuse I could come up with to go check on my boy.)</p>
<p>The family/parent weekend is near impossible for my 14-year-old son's schedule and not ideal for me. Plus the campus and traffic around it are always congested, so I imagine that weekend will be a zoo. We are planning to go down two weeks later on a weekend that works out perfectly for our family's schedule - no conflicts at all. My daughter says this is fine with her, and I think it will be.</p>
<p>S goes to a far-away school. He's a junior and we haven't gone and don't ever plan to go for parents' weekend. He hasn't mentioned anything about other kids' parents being there, though there probably are quite a few since the school is small with many in-state students. I just assume that S is really happy that we're not there to embarrass him! We do hope to make it for graduation. . .</p>
<p>BTW, back in the 70s/80s, my parents never went to any of their kids' colleges'
parents' weekends. They showed little interest in our colleges, but were kind enough to drive me the 1 1/4 hrs to drop me off/pick me up every year. (I guess that's why I feel that the school is sort of my kid's domain, and he probably doesn't want me there. . .)</p>
<p>My parents only made it to one or two of the graduations we had after HS--one for my brother when he graduated BS with honors & they had to go on stage with him & once when another brother got his BA & was field marshall. They never attended any of our other college or grad school graduations & only visited their alma mater when one of my sisters was attending it, otherwise never set foot on any college campus. Since there were 7 of us & 6 who continued on to OOS grad schools, it would have been an expensive & busy proposition anyway.</p>