Parents - who started the college search process? You or your child?

<p>Not that I think any great harm will come of it, but I wouldn't force a kid to pay attention to colleges until winter/spring of his junior year. It never got to that point for us. My older child hated her life in 10th grade, and figured out that college was her exit strategy. Plus, she's a schemer. She led us through the process. Her younger brother basically stayed away from her college planning, but he was paying enough attention to pick up the basics, and he started himself mid-junior year.</p>

<p>I think timing depends on the likelihood of a student's interest in venturing beyond the State U. If so, starting early is very important. This is particularly true for any in the performing arts category...these kids have the added burden of auditions. So beginning to assess what's out there earlier is extremely helpful later.</p>

<p>Thw summer between sophomore and junior year is a great time. By the time senior year starts, much energy is consumed in dealing with the application process itself, which is an ENORMOUSLY time consuming and stressful one. And if you throw in auditions, it's completely CRAZY.</p>

<p>Having had visits earlier, sporadically, really helped to crystallize somewhat of a vision of the types of schools to apply to. </p>

<p>In both cases, I started the ball rolling. And as many have stated, I filtered out alot of information for them. Each one of them (even recalcitrant S--love the term "moderate apathy"!), did spend time looking at the Big Books on colleges. I also bought or borrowed other college info books which they reviewed occasionally in secrecy :)</p>

<p>The main thing is that because the process is very complex and more competitive than ever these days, starting early saved us from some of the stress of squeezing more in than was already on the plate. It's true that some kids aren't ready for the process--even as seniors. But I see it as a parental role to be able to visualize the work ahead and try to gauge the effort. Teenagers are notoriously short sighted.</p>

<p>I started the process. Actually, he had mentioned a couple of colleges early on (sophomore year), but by the time middle of junior year rolled around, he wasn't eager to get started on the process AT ALL. We booked a family trip to Washington DC and went last June, combining sightseeing with college tours. Hoped he would be excited after that, but he wasn't really too excited. Still, he got his college apps done by the beginning of September, without me nagging, got admitted to all the schools he applied to, had a fairly easy time choosing, and now we're on our way. He's not an excitable person in general, and this is no different. I'm hoping to see more enthusiasm after we attend orientation a few weeks from now (!).</p>

<p>My D on the other hand, is a freshman who CAN'T WAIT to start visiting colleges. We're talking of visiting a few next spring break, and she is so excited. Different strokes!</p>

<p>Well, I had a great Mother's Day! I asked that we drive to a college an hour away and walk around. S is interested but either does not have the time or it has been raining(!) and I wanted him to have a good first impression. It turned out that it was commencement weekend so that made it even better. S will now talk about the search-SAT's and AP's have made it more real. But he really just want to live his life right now.</p>

<p>I guess I started to do a nudge or two once D started attending events and competitions at various campuses (National History Day at UMD, Latin convention at a SUNY campus, church youth event at Purdue), just to remind her to see if the school is the right environment or size for her while she was there. Because of this she got an idea that she wanted a smaller school pretty early.</p>

<p>As far as the visiting, test prep, etc., I didn't have to give her any nudge, since she saw all her senior friends stressing out over things this year she has learned to not make their mistake and will start earlier. Especially seeing her one friend with five EA acceptances sitting pretty while all the other friends struggled to get RD applications done in time...</p>

<p>My daughter's club lax coach got it all started in spring of her junior year. She asked to take an SAT course, which we did for her. I helped her come up with 20 schools that had strong science, and where she could possibly play lacrosse. Her school also had the Naviance program, where you could search and match sat scores/grades with previous students and compare where they got in. I would say the adults kicked it off for her.</p>

<p>Definitely started by me. DS is a junior, and grudgingly went to a college fair this spring. He's focused on going across the country to the east coast (where he has, by the way, never seen) to school, but I'm doing all the research.</p>

<p>I took him to a good LAC for a visit summer between fresh and soph years, which was a big mistake for him. It was far too early, and my enthusiasm equated to his negative opinion of the school (which I still think would be a good fit - oh well). My experience would have me advise parents whose kids are not at all interested to hold off until junior year. </p>

<p>He's now almost done with ACT, SAT, SATII, AP's and is ready to visit. I'll be battered and bruised at the end of it, but I agree with others that the process is overwhelming, and unless your kid is really focused (my DS is not the normal CC kid by any stretch), they'll never keep up.</p>

<p>We kind of started together. He talked about what he was interested in. My H and I set the financial parameters. And we went on from there. It's been quite a ride--easy, he says, but stressful, I say. I'm glad it's over. I was the project manager. He procrastinated, but in the end got everything done, including two extra honors and scholarship essays, which were successful. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, 2009 parents!</p>

<p>It’s the OP again. </p>

<p>Did you hear that big KUH-LUNK coming from Maryland yesterday? It was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor. </p>

<p>As I reported in post #38, I gave son a basic college talk on Sunday night. Well, to my surprise and delight, he told me that he used new wisdom (he he) to search princetonreview.com after I went to bed. I think he was very pleased with himself when he showed me the results on Monday. He even went down the list and could point out which were reaches (Berkeley, Princeton), matches (Bucknell, W&M), and safeties (Qunnipiac???). </p>

<p>He’ll need some guidance in refining his criteria. But, at least he took it upon himself to try. This might not be so bad after all. :)</p>

<p>Only had the one data point but using my CC License to Extrapolate to Giant Generalizations I do want to re-state CC Law #12- "The booger-eating-socially-challenged kid you have in the 10th grade may bear only a vague resemblance to the young adult who will leave for freshman year, and even less to the sophisticate who will return to your home from freshman year." </p>

<p>Things that spook them as HS soph's on college visits don't need to become entrenched thinking patterns. I think that to a certain extent that happened to mine and limited her choices unnecessarily. Worked out O.K. as the school D picked shared very few of her pre-ordained "criteria". </p>

<p>Enjoy your time with your "baby". They will grow up so fast this last couple of years. Don't miss a minute of it. </p>

<p>As always, JMO and YMMV. ;)</p>