<p>I wanna know if I'm the only one who's always researching their child's college prospects? My S has been accepted into 3 good colleges so far and we're still waiting for 4 more replies but I have been on the computer a lot researching and asking questions. He's our first and neither I nor my husband went to college so this is allllll new to us. I don't want our S to miss something because of my ignorance. </p>
<p>Am I the only one feeling this way? Are you like this too or am I over reacting a bit? Tell me about your status. </p>
<p>I think its good for parents to help kids through the process. I certainly have made college hunting a hobby in the past few years (S is sr as well). When he actually decides part of me will miss going on the visits with him, talking about careers, things like that. </p>
<p>I did go to college, but my parents were clueless and no help. So I made a lot of mistakes. I just want to make sure he doesn’t repeat them (well, most of them). </p>
<p>I go on computer rather than bug my kids about it since none of us will know until the acceptances come out. When we have our answers and can take the next step I can be less obsessed.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say obsessed, but it is a rather expensive investment, and as such, requires a lot of investigation, and decision making that I don’t think a high school student should be making on their own. So, I would say I am more involved that the average parent I know. </p>
<p>I’ve spent way too much time “engaged/enthralled” in the college search. I’ve driven my dd a little crazy ~X( </p>
<p>However, the way I see, this is my dd’s last major life decision that we, as her parents, can have an impact. We want to make sure we’ve given her our best effort/support before launching her into the real world…</p>
<p>Same here times two because I am “twinmom.” I even researched and help 3 of their friends find and apply to college…not sure what I am going to do with myself when this is all over…I need to find some rising Juniors whose parents aren’t into this and help them or I can take up ceramics, I guess. :-@ </p>
<p>I admit to being freaked out about paying for it and yes, it’s caused me to be an obsessive researcher. I at least try to keep my mania between me, the computer and a couple girlfriends going through the same thing with their kids. I’ve drawn lines… I won’t fill out applications, arrange interviews, write essays, or call admissions. If I have a question, I write it down and ask D to call. I will research, do my taxes early and fill out financial paperwork. I will handle transportation to college visits and the like.</p>
<p>D’s in a specialty high school program with a passive aggressive school counselor. She always encourages kids to take the easy route pushing towards schools that are easy to get into but frankly, don’t have the merit or financial aid most of the students need. She gives bad information and has convinced high ability kids they aren’t qualified for schools they are easily qualified for. She doesn’t want anyone’s feelings hurt when they don’t get into their dream school. I feel like I’ve had to work extra hard to counteract her. I’ve spent hours upon hours researching schools and learning about the admissions and financial aid process. D and I together worked on a list of potential colleges that D not only likes but that we should be able to afford. </p>
<p>I think if we were able to full-pay comfortably, I wouldn’t be so stressed. Personally, I don’t so much care where she goes if she thinks it’s a good fit. I just don’t want any of us dying in debt because we didn’t know there was someplace else that could have been a good fit and within our means. </p>
<p>I think it’s normal to be a little obsessive. After all, this is a 17 or 18 year old who is about to make a very expensive, far-reaching decision without the life experience to do so. It is our job as parents to help out with that, both for the sake of our own finances, and to make sure our kids don’t saddle themselves with loans they won’t be able to repay.</p>
<p>With my D, my initial contribution was to suggest colleges I thought she might like. With S, a junior in HS, my contribution has primarily consisted of nagging him to at least look at the big fat guide to US colleges and universities that DH bought him.</p>
<p>@twinmom I have a HS sophomore - you can be our private college counselor! I work full time and have been involved in the past but it’s a little too much lately!</p>
<p>I have to admit that I am slightly. These boards are rather addictive. I try to temper it with other things. The truth is it is a HUGE step in their lives and since it is, it is only natural we spend time thinking about it. Fortunately they will be making decisions soon and we can celebrate their choices.</p>
<p>@ReadtToRoll… I am ready. The kids I helped were all over the board. Actually it was more interesting doing my daughter’s friend with the lower test score and gpa (a great kid!) I had to dig deeper, beyond these boards…so far she got into all the schools! </p>
<p>I think it is only obsessive if you start speaking or writing and using “we”…as in “we are interested in XYZ college” or “we need to get that essay finished” or “we’re not sure which college to pick” if you catch yourself doing that it’s time to reassess your level of emotional investment. </p>
<p>Did you notice there’s a pinned thread about the difficulty of kindergarten? This is cc. Asking if we’re obsessed with the process is like asking if a bear poos in the woods! (Seriously? Kindergarten? And somebody pinned it?) </p>
<p>@twinmom - that is a great idea! The GCs at D’s HS do what they can, and my D’s GC is really nice. But there are only 12 GCs for nearly 4000 students! They have their hands full with scheduling (an insane mix of full year -full period, full year - half period, semester only, and 1/2 period semester courses that never fit together well), discipline, special plans, etc. Their knowledge is mainly limited to our State’s schools. The GCs don’t even meet individually with students to discuss college plans. Perhaps CC posters can start a volunteer mentoring service! </p>
<p>@turtletime - I am right there with you! I have also drawn the same lines:). My D overheard me talking with a close friend (whose D is also a Sr. this year) about the college process. D said “what are you and “Sue” going to talk about when this admissions process is finished?” </p>
<p>@Overtheedge… all this knowledge and nothing to do with it. My rarest pick was for a girl with an iffy jr year (she has rebounded) wants to teach and is involved with her church… I found Concordia and she got in. Never once did I hear that school mentioned on these boards. </p>
if you catch yourself doing that it’s time to reassess your level of emotional investment. </p>
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