I already made this post in a different category, but I was directed here, so hi!
I’m a transgender student and my parents do not approve of my transition at all. They have said on no unclear terms that they will not pay for my college unless I remain the gender I was assigned at birth. Doing so would kill me, I’m already suffering enough as it is, I can’t imagine continuing for several years. My main problem is that they make about 120,000 per year, so I don’t qualify for financial aid, and the website said that it is given out based on need from parental income. Because I live in California and everyone out here is insane, at least in the town I’m in, I have not been able to find a job because even clothing stores sell alcohol and I am under 18, so I will be hard pressed to pay for college. Is there any way I could get some form of aid outside of scholarships? I don’t want to take a year off because I won’t be able to live with my parents anyway, they want me out ASAP.
Oh please. There are plenty of 18 year olds in CA who have jobs. Keep looking.
You may have to move out, get a job, rent a room someplace, and put off college until you can pay for it yourself.
I’m 16, and most places where I live only hire 18+. Getting a job and a place to rent is a lot easier said than done!
When are you graduating from HS? Will your parents allow you to live at home until you do?
There are 16 year olds who are working in CA. You can’t be picky about a job.
Do you have ny other family members who could help you out? Maybe offer you a place to live while you work?
How old are you? You live with and are supported by parents now? Will they fill out the FAFSA so you can get student loans? Filling out the FAFSA doesn’t mean they have to contribute anything.
The general rule is that you need to provide parental info for federal aid and loans and aid from schools until you are 24. Exceptions are listed in the chart on the Federal aid. see
https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/fafsa/filling-out/dependency
Unless there is cause for you to be allowed to declare independent. Parents just not wanting to pay isn’t enough reason. But maybe there could be something because of the trans situation.
Some colleges give merit aid based on grades and test scores.
If you find any outside organization that will pay your school then you can apply for it but I don’t know of any. Ask LGBT organizations.
Some of your statements lack credibility. I’m in CA Ihave been many places here, and everyone here is not insane. I’m not sure I have encountered any clothing store that sells alcohol but there are plenty that do not. Including Goodwill stores which are always hiring.
Places like McDonalds also don’t sell alcohol. There are tons of retail places that don’t sell alcohol.
When are you graduating?
Even places that sell alcohol, like grocery stores and Target, employ underage students. They just can’t sell the alcohol and call someone else to the register.
I also have job restrictions because I can’t drive yet (I’m working on it, parents won’t let me take lessons until summer), and every place near me either hires only 18+ or is not hiring right now. I’m graduating May 2016. My parents don’t want to fill out FAFSA because they think it’s a waste of time since I won’t qualify anyway.
You will qualify for a student loan which could help you pay for community college. Also you can’t often get any aid from colleges themselves without it. Even merit aid. So try to explain that just filing it makes you eligible for things and doesn’t make them responsible for anything.
Are you working with some kind of social services group, if not contact your county social services for counseling. They may be able to hook you up with some resources. At the least they can try to help you equip yourself to make the decisions that favor your future the best and how to negotiate with your parents.
Do you have outstanding grades and SAT or ACT scores?
OP, it sounds like you are in a difficult situation. The good thing is that you are only 16, so you have some time to form your strategy. I am so sorry to hear that your parents are struggling with your gender identity, it cannot be easy for you, or them. My advice is to find ways to keep yourself positive and centered and healthy. Your parents love you and things will work out, sooner or later. For now, focus on what you can do for your future, like doing your best at school, and considering your options for work as you get your license, etc. You have your whole life ahead of you!
I would look into the Point Foundation- their mission is offering scholarships & support to LGBTQI students. What are your stats? Things are going to be easier if you have a competitive profile. Are you MTF or FTM? Do your parents just refuse to pay for college if you’re out, or is the situation worse?
If so, seems like becoming an emancipated minor isn’t out of the question. Otherwise, you’ll need to search for big merit scholarships.
I’m not sure why people find it hard to believe that you haven’t been able to get a job. I’m 18 and live in an area where there’s a fair amount of businesses that have entry-level positions. I have work experience and have been applying for a second job, but of the 20 or so places I applied to, I’ve only heard back from two. Finding a job as a high school student ain’t what it used to be.
That being said, definitely keep looking; you’ll need the money, as I’m sure you know. The Point Foundation is a great option, but unfortunately, their scholarships are very competitive, and they generally want to see leadership and activism pertaining to LGBT causes. The good news is that there are quite a few other scholarships out there for LGBT students:
http://www.campuspride.org/scholarships/
http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/scholarship-database
If your stats are good enough, I would encourage you to apply to places where you could get full rides based off of merit. Those, combined with outside scholarships, might present an affordable option. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility, is there any way you could stay with another relative, or even a friend, and attend community college? Or you could explore the option of applying as an independent, although I have no idea if you would qualify or how much that would help. But from what you’ve said, getting out of your household is imperative for the sake of your health.
Finally, have you contacted any local LGBT services to look for advice? You’re not the first person to have been in this situation, and they might have people who can point you in a more specific direction. I’m on the other side of the country, but I would guess that there’s probably a PFLAG chapter around, and I know CA has a GSA network that might have more resources for you. (https://www.gsanetwork.org/)
Good luck, OP.
A heads up. If you graduate from a california highschool, you’ll qualify for the BOGFW if you attend a california community college. The BOGFW will pay all of your tuition, so the only things you will need to pay for would be books, transport, and room and board. It seems like this would be a better situation for you to be in rather then going to a 4 year straight off the bat and not being able to pay for it and ultimately drop out. do you have any friends who could help you out by giving you a place to stay? If your parents want you out I would def do what another person said and apply to become emancipated. That way when you apply for financial aid you can apply as an independent and wont have to use your parents information. Good luck.
I don’t think it is hard to believe that it is hard for a teen to find a job. I think the problem is the ridiculous reason invented.
I agree this student needs services and advocates, social services and LGBT advocates are a start to find out what resources may be available.
It can be difficult for a teen under 18 to get a job in CA in some pockets but it’s not impossible, you need to keep looking. I am in CA and I haven’t walked into any clothing stores that sell alcohol. My kids both had jobs starting at 14. We know several under-age teens that have recently been hired at the local theme parks and fast food for the summer. Keep hunting and don’t be picky. As to transportation, there are usually breaks on monthly bus passes for minors. I know 16-year-olds don’t love to travel this way but it’s still freedom and independence. We pay 36 a month for my 14-year-olds bus pass which he uses to come home from school across the county and to meet up with friends for movies and such. Talk to your parents about this option. They may be willing to at least get you a pass until your paychecks kick in and it’s much cheaper than driving.
I agree that seeking advice from your local LGBT association is a good idea.Talking to your school counselor about your college options is a good idea. Be upfront that you may be doing it alone. If you have the grades and test scores, looking at some high merit options would be good. Community college is an option. Your parents should still fill out the Fafsa even if they think you wouldn’t qualify for help. You need it to get student loans. You can need it to apply for merit aid or institutional scholarships. 120K sounds like a lot but you’d still qualify for aid at some schools.