<p>Hi, I live about ten miles away from my school and want to commute next year. I have a chronic illness that makes the stress of being away from home hard. However my parents believe that the best thing for me is to stay on campus and that I need to have that experience. </p>
<p>How can I convince them to let me commute?</p>
<p>and i already tried the saving money aspect</p>
<p>Your parents are right. You have to get over the stress sometime.</p>
<p>If the stress is bad enough to require anxiety medication, you could have your medical professional say something.</p>
<p>You might suggest easing into it. Commuting freshman year, living in the dorms sophomore year.</p>
<p>Or you can just bite the bullet and do it next year. It’s ok to be scared and stressed, but at some point, you do need to move out. Your parents know you very well and won’t deliberately put you in a position fail. Trust them. You may discover you are as resilient as they know you are.</p>
<p>i just started at this school less than a month ago so i know i haven’t given it a lot of time</p>
<p>From your other thread, it sound like you’re living on campus this year, is that right? Are you experiencing a lot of anxiety/health problems now? If so, what does your counselor and MD think? </p>
<p>Frankly, lots of students want to live off campus after freshman year. Would it be possible to compromise and move into an off-campus apartment?</p>
<p>yes I’m at a new school this semester so this is my first semester living away from home. anxiety but my physical health is pretty good. there just isn’t swaying my parents</p>
<p>It’s my opinion that living successfully in dorms is not a life skill that you need to develop. After all, beyond college, it’s something that you will never do again.</p>
<p>But living on your own, away from your parents’ home, is something that you do need to learn to do.</p>
<p>All of which leads me to the third living option – off-campus apartments. Is this type of living arrangement common at your college? It might not be the best arrangement for you for the fall semester; if you’re new, you may not have had many chances to make friends yet, and off-campus usually works best when you share an apartment with friends. (Living alone off-campus is expensive and can be very isolating.) But living off-campus could be a possibility for the future, and knowing that your time in the dorms is limited could make dorm living more tolerable.</p>
<p>its not really a matter of where on or off campus i’m living, when it comes down to it i just want to live at home</p>
<p>I think you should give it more time, but give it an HONEST try too. If you sit in your dorm and don’t talk to anyone, that is not an honest try. Join a club or an activity, go watch the basketball games, etc. I think your parents are trying to do what they think is best for you. You can’t live with your parents for the rest of your life and this is a good way of easing into your adult life on your own. Also, there are loads of resources on campus to utilize that you are probably paying for already, various counselors, etc. Seek them out to help you with the transition.</p>
<p>If after a semester on campus where you gave it a REALLY good try, then talk to your parents again.</p>
<p>Also understand that after a semester, they may still say that you need to live on campus. Your parents may be ready to move on with the next stage of their life-one that involves a life without a kid at home. They have spent 18 years getting you ready to be an adult, and they have done their job.</p>
<p>“its not really a matter of where on or off campus i’m living, when it comes down to it i just want to live at home”</p>
<p>This is why your parents want you living somewhere else. They know that you will almost certainly need to live away from them at some point in the future. They know that the college environment can be a good way to start developing that skill.</p>
<p>You aren’t the first student to ever feel like all you want to do is go home. On Monday, as soon as your last class ends for the day, walk directly to the counseling center on campus, and set up a couple of sessions with a counselor there to talk about adjusting to life on your own. Believe me, they deal with this issue all the time, and they are expert at helping students make this big adjustment. You do not have to work through this on your own.</p>
<p>Wishing you all the best!</p>
<p>happymomof1 has a good point.</p>
<p>Colleges have all sorts of counseling and advising services, and you’ve already paid for them. They can be very helpful to students with all types of problems – and they have experience dealing with situations like yours.</p>
<p>thanks for the advice. my parents have basically said that its not a matter of them not wanting me home on weekends, etc. but that they know that it is in my best interest to adjust. so we made a fair deal that if i stay the next two weekends then i can come home for the long weekend. </p>
<p>and yes i have been seeing someone for my anxiety but not at school</p>
<p>There’s something to be said about dorms. A coworker sent his child to the dorm - except said coworker lived adjacent to campus, and you could see the campus (and dorm :-)) from his front porch. Heck, the kid could walk to class…</p>
<p>One of DD1’s dorm mates has both parents teaching at the same school, and they live in nearby housing. Again walking distance…</p>
<p>DD1 has had to make the adjustment from a huge house to a pet carrier sized dorm room, but after a year she is getting an apartment with some friends. Her biggest anti-dorm issue was food (while good and convenient, it’s boring and quite expensive) The experience has been great either way.</p>
<p>I think that your parents should be commended. They know you the best and are attempting to help you with the difficult process of becoming an adult. You won’t be able to live “at home” forever. </p>
<p>Living on campus is a stepping-stone to living on your own. Generally, everything is paid for and things are taken care of that will not be the case when you live by yourself. For example, shared spaces are maintained and cleaned for you; food is prepared, served, and cleaned up for you, etc. In addition, there is free and accessible access to health services, security, counselling, and other helpful resources.</p>
<p>Living on a college campus is a wonderful experience in that you get to have some semblance of independence, while not yet having all the responsibilities that come with living on your own. Give it some time, and I’ll bet you will be thankful that your parents insisted on it.</p>
<p>You are lucky to have smart and supportive parents who are focussing on what is best for your growth, even though it may not have been an easy decision.</p>
<p>yeah they keep telling me that i’ll thank them later</p>
<p>Think about how the mama bird nudges her baby out of the nest. There comes a point where mama needs to turn the nudge into a push in order to force the baby to leave the nest and fly.</p>
<p>I’m a parent, and I don’t see the big deal about commuting. Let the kid commute. I commuted a lot during the first two years of school (although I lived on campus, I usually went home on weekends). By my third year, I felt more comfortable, and came home less. </p>
<p>I think it made the transition easier because I knew I had the safety of coming home when I wanted to.</p>
<p>If you do live on or off campus, I would definitely get a roommate. It’s harder when you are totally alone, even if your roommate is kind of annoying.</p>
<p>I am confused. You started a thread in October, 2011, stating that you are a high school senior considering applying to Northeastern University. So, when you say that you are at “a new school this semester” ten miles away from home, are you talking about high school or a college where you have been accepted?</p>
<p>^
Good question, farfallena. And good user name.</p>