Good luck its between you and your parents. You can try, but I don’t see how.
You parents seem to have trust issues. Perhaps you have given them reason in the past not to fully trust you. It is your parents hard earned money paying for your college. Yes, if they have paid for spring semester they can still withdraw you and get a refund. In the process of bringing my own kids back to college after break, I have witnessed parents packing up and moving their child back home, including one in her pj’s and crying the entire time. Kids are not always aware of the sacrifices that parents are making at home in order to have the funds to send their child, including taking out parent plus loans and private loans. Learn from your mistake, get a job or two and starting saving to pay your own way to college.
Are you full pay at an OOS school? How exactly, did they find out? What is the financial picture at home?
I had to look up “vaping.” :-S
What exactly were you vaping?
Since your parents are footing the bill for college, they get to determine the terms & conditions of them ponying up the money.
I only vaped nicotine. No illegal substances
…::: "I had to look up “vaping.” ":::…
Yeah, I guess as we get older we get clueless about current drug and other trends. A few years ago I was volunteering to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate for foster kids and part of the training we had to do involved recognizing signs of drugs and drug use. Meth was a big deal in the area at that time and the police officer doing the training kept talking about how we needed to watch out for meth, but didn’t really give details. So I finally, reluctantly raised my hand and asked what meth looked like and how people used it.
After the officer got done laughing and picked himself off the floor =)) he kindly explained to old, out of touch fogeys like me what meth looked like. L-)
Re: #26
Meth looks like prescription ADHD drugs, right?
@ibelieveinmyself As a parent it seems extreme to me to basically derail your education. How many times have you done this? I would have given you another chance before something so extreme.
You could try the PowerPoint. You cannot finish at a community college. You probably have about 12 -15 more credits you could take there. What is their plan after one semester? Hopefully your credits can be bounced around. Maybe you take a year and a half or two years to work. Will they allow you to live at home and work?
“Meth looks like prescription ADHD drugs, right?”
Uh, I’m not an expert but that’s not how the officer described it. He described it as powder. Unless most prescription ADHD drugs are powder? I’ve only seen one kind of ADHD drug and it was a pill, but maybe it could be crushed into powder?
Luckily I never did see actual meth while working with foster kids or their families. I don’t think I did anyway. 8-|
Sounds to me they were looking for an excuse to force you to go to the local community college. You could always threaten to go into the military.
I wouldn’t live at home. If they cut your college funding, move to a city as far away as possible and build a life. You cannot let your parents control your life if they aren’t footing the bill.
^Yeah. Maybe you build a new life elsewhere. You can’t finish at a community college anyway. That is a dead end. When are you 20?
I would say your parents are short sighted. While I wouldn’t want you vaping either, to short circuit your education is just plain dumb. As long as your grades are good and your progressing towards graduation, I’d kick you butt, but send you right back to school. So in reality, you need to convince them that you know what you did was stupid, but you don’t want to jeopardize you education. And like others have suggested, if they don’t start cutting the cord, have a plan. Good luck.
ROTC is a viable and time tested option too.
I have to believe there is something else going on here as well. I’m a parent and have to say that vaping is pretty gross but not an excuse to cut your kid off. I have a hunch that they are not entirely happy with your college situation and have taken your vaping as an excuse to pull out.
I think you should simply sit down with them and have an adult discussion about the vaping, the costs of college, and what you are going to do differently to warrant the investment in your future.
Regarding post #30… Yep, you could always threaten to join the military.
Just be prepared to follow through when they agree that it’s the best option.
Normally, “threatening” your parents is a risky move, especially with parents who have already shown that they’re not afraid to make the big moves.
I wouldn’t have made the choice your parents did… then again, I’ve had no reason to. As others have said, there’s obviously a history we know nothing about. You don’t pull a kid out of college the first time he does something you disagree with.
Whatever the history, think carefully before handing your parents any sort of an ultimatum. Decide whether the big power play is worth the relationship-- and money train-- you stand to lose.
Threatening your kids is pretty risky too. That’s not the way people who love each other act.
Like I said, if they’ve already paid, change your password so they can’t login to your account and withdraw you. Finish spring.
It sounds like there is no money train. The economy is terrific.
If you want, move to Boston, get a day job and go to Harvard Extension school at night. Check out
extension.harvard.edu
With two courses per semester, and 12-16 courses under your belt you can probably finish the last 20 needed for your degree in 4ish years, including summers.
Overly-controlling parents aren’t going to want to see their kids going into the military, at which point the parents lose control.
OH, I agree. I can’t imagine the history between this student and his/her parents that built up to this move. My guess is lots of back and forth. This did not happen in a vacuum.
But we can’t change-- or rationalize-- the behavior of the parents. All we can do is advise the student. And my advice is to think very carefully about what to do next. You know the old saying about biting off your nose to spite your face… kinda gross when you think about it, but you get my point.
Being completely on your own at age 19 is rough. It would take something more drastic than what we know about this situation for me to suggest anyone take that route.