I’m having a hard time believing this is a first-time offense for breaking a rule the parents have decided is non-negotiable. That being said, be careful with the threats. Only threaten that which you are willing to follow through on. And, honestly, some of these so-called threats are more than that, they are viable options. The best option the way I see it is putting up one more solid argument to get them to sway. If that doesn’t work, do what @ClassicRockerDad suggested and lock them out of your account and finish your semester. Then, decide where to go from there. You’ve got time, breathe, don’t do anything rash.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you’ve been vaping for a while, you may not be able to quit without help. Nicotine is a strongly addictive substance.
If this is your situation, rather than promising your parents that you will quit vaping, I would suggest promising that you will see your doctor, find out about treatment (counseling and medication, in most cases), and commit to scrupulously following the treatment plan. This is more realistic than saying you will stop right now on your own.
Not sure I agree with parents, but I darn sure disagree with post 31. Adults cutting off payments for a young adult in college isn’t controlling the student’s life. It is setting the student free. The student can now do whatever he wants. They have enabled the student now, to have the same rights and obligations the parents have. The student is free! The parents have freed the student from their rule, and now the student can do as he pleases. Of course, if the student wants to receive certain benefits from the parents, he may choose to conform to their wishes. But that wouldn’t be some parental rule, that would be a matter of the student’s choice.
However, ROTC scholarships that can fund the rest of college are competitive and not guaranteed.
As adults, I feel we need to be careful about the advice we give.
Moving to Boston (or any high cost of living city) and going to school part time without the ability (due to lack of education) to be able to afford to live is not overly realistic. Sure, he could move to a low cost of living area, get a few jobs and build the skills he needs to make a living but probally not in a big city while taking multiple courses.
ROTC could be a path. I do not know but it is extremely competretive but as a second semester sophmore the poster is extremely late to the game. Correct me if I am wrong.
The parent might or might not have paid for next semester but they still could call the school and try to get a refund. The school would likely refuse to deal with the parents but who knows what could happen. If the student is not living in a dorm, it will be very easy to cut off rent and food money.
Joining the military might is an option but even there you need physical fitness. I believe the days of just being a alive to join are long gone. The military can be a great option and career for the right person but it is not a easy path even for those who want to serve. Also I am not sure how they feel about vaping.
Threats are really a losing bet when the other person holds most if not all the cards. As a parent. I would not take kindly to threats. I would view them as a indication of immaturity especailly if that I know are empty unrealistic threats.
In this case, the parent did not appear to be making threats. They make a decesion and carried through. Now the issue is how to change their mind.
What this kid probally need is advice how to deal with his parents. How to diffuse (NOT escalate) the situation. How to negotiate a middle ground. How to pacify the parent long enough to get his education and then leave and never look back if necessary. Some advice was given by not enough. I hope others can give some better advice then I could.
Are you attending an OOS public university…that is costing your parents a LOT of money?
They caught you ONCE…but that begs the question…so how often did you do this…and at what cost? It also sounds like you did not plan to get “caught”.
Please…do as @oldfort suggested upstream.
I’m also a parent and frankly i will rather have a serious and meaningful discussion with my kid over an issue than see a power point presentation.
@thumper1, I don’t think this family has meaningful conversations, given the OP’s post.
From what I understand the girl with the PowerPoint did a kind of entertaining thing that brought about the family’s continuing conversation on a serious topic.
This student could make it humorous, thought-provoking, serious, whatever. Title page: “Why I should return to school, 101”
Anything, really, to begin the dialogue of this young adult, earning his parent’s trust and returning to school. If the family isn’t used to having sitdown conversations, this could be a channel to opening a conversation door. Family dynamics are complicated; everyone has really different ideas about how their family should function.
What could it hurt? If the parents refuse to listen, then we know something else is going on with the family.
As a supposedly smart young premed woman, why would you vape nicotine?
Re ROTC/military, it makes me chuckle that this could be advised to a young woman who can’t follow a simple basic request, don’t take up a nasty addictive habit in the parental dime. I assume ROTC types have to do as they are told. Kid is OOS and I suspect full pay. Maybe the parents are having buyers remorse. 3.0 GPA means pre med is off the table, right?
If your going to the school that I think your at, yes, you parents are paying high private school tuition for you to attend a very competitive public school. Because it is so competitive a B average could be enough to get you kicked out of the program or at the very least, put on probation. I don’t think that your parents decision came out of the blue and that there is more to it than what you have said. Tough love can be hard to take, but you can learn from it and move on.
I don’t understand what the kid is going to do.exactly. To to community college for one semester and then…
Gets a job and goes to her local accessible university on a pay as you go plan. She could get a job with tuition reimbursement as that is a massive help. Maybe she has burned her four yr plan. Maybe it is a 6 yr plan.
Lots of elements are needed to help you more effectively.
What year are you? What semester? What’s the university?
Are your parents paying your tuition?
Were they that controlling during high school? Are you a girl in a family where going away to school is seen as risky?
Did your going to that university come with conditions?
Did they take loans for you to attend?
Did they have a GPA requirement?
How did you come to vaping (by way if other substances? Other forms of tobacco?)