<p>It’s too bad that your parents have given you an ultimatum. But, you really have no choice other than to go to Berkeley, since you wouldn’t be able to attend UCLA without their financial support. </p>
<p>Try to have a positive attitude, and remember that lots of students really wish they had the opportunity to go to Berkeley. </p>
<p>@intparent: </p>
<p>Thanks for trying to reduce the name-calling, always an honorable endeavor on this board… but I’ve been called worse, and I truly didn’t think much of it. 
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<p>Well, it does involve my favorite U, so I’m apt to read a subject heading of : Parents won’t allow me to attend UCLA…</p>
<p>If you read my previous posts, in my role-playing as psychologist (insert lol), I gave reasoning why I thought her story could have been fabricated. I never said it was, but prefaced everything with, “I think” or “it appears.” Again, sorry to repeat myself, but the parents exhibited passive-aggressive behavior when they held all the cards. Why would they do this? Feel free to address this part.</p>
<p>In addition, International families as someone guessed recently for the origins of the OP, typically wouldn’t call UC Berkeley, the name of Cal. This is a sports moniker for the U, and foreigners are typically all about academics, and not into football, basketball, or Olympic sports at all. So, if this is a legitimate OP, I would guess instate. And per previous also, if legitimate, OP could be from the Bay Area, because as bayou stated they (could) probably want her at home.</p>
<p>As this post is already too long, there aren’t bases without some thoughts behind it, as I detailed why I thought her post was possibly fabricated, but not calling anyone a flat-out liar. You have to read the previous posts at least before you take vengeance on someone and call him/her names. ;)</p>
<p>And, too, I did find the original preface fascinating, as I’m sure most people have. I was trying to see if I could get her to expound on the note by her parents, and see what back-and-forth might have caused the parents to go passive in the note, again, if legitimate.</p>
<p>Also, there was a poster a few years ago, named bayboi, who was a fan/student? of Cal, and he was probably the most devious poster on this board. I would guess some of the things floating around could be him creating accounts to get under people’s, mainly UCLA students’, alumni’s skin. Bad dude… </p>
<p>Response…</p>
<p>I also think it’s a ■■■■■. </p>
<p>As for “Why would they do this?”, my previous statement stands; I think it’s a great mistake to think that people always act for logical reasons. I have seen behavior in my own in-laws’ family that would leave you scratching your head. And I have friends with immigrant parents (and so do my kids, if you think the age of the parent matters) whose stories of their familial interactions are far more bizarre than communicating with your child via email. Come to think of it, I sometimes communicate with my kids via email, for example if I’m at work and they’re at school and I suddenly remembered something I need to tell them as soon as possible but I might forget about it later. Easier to send an email right now, since I’m at my desk and all, than to try to remember to call them as soon as they get home.</p>
<p>Re calling it “Cal,” that’s what everyone calls it in the Bay Area. If OP is from around here, it would come naturally to her parents to refer to it that way.</p>
<p>I’m new here and don’t know the history of all the trolls that have been here, but this strikes me as a fairly innocuous thread and not a reason to assume trolling behavior. And again, what harm does it do you if it is? Ignore and go on to the next thread.</p>
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<p>Precisely my point! But precisely not why I consider it not legit, if that makes sense.</p>
<p>The following paragraph relates to if OP is legitimate:</p>
<p>International students wouldn’t refer to it as Cal; they know it as UC Berkeley or UCB or Berkeley. Oos students? I would think they refer to it more as the same. I’m guessing OP is from CA, specifically from NorCal, specifically from the Bay. And therefore, as bluebayou stated, “they want her living at home,” “so they can watch her,” or something along those lines. </p>
<p>Back to illegitimacy, let me use the words ‘not legitimate’: </p>
<p>You have to remember, too, that OP would be trying to draw significant attention to herself, as ■■■■■■ are inclined to do. The subject heading certainly caught my attention. Possible that ■■■■■ trying to draw attention to Cal vis-a-vis UCLA: Cal is hub of hotbed of tech, better school, parents know better, etc. </p>
<p>Stop feeding the ■■■■■</p>
<p>OP could be one of RML offspring’s (JK).</p>
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<p>There appear to be plenty of fans or haters of specific schools around here who do not appear to be merely ■■■■■■ (i.e. they actually appear to believe what they write, rather than trying to get a reaction), some of whom appear to have no relationship (student, alumni, faculty, staff, parent of student) to the school in question.</p>
<p>I’ll add my two cents. </p>
<p>I agree with the other person who said just go to Berkeley. I’m not trying to be a dick, but part of college is growing up. Make the responsible decision for your life. Even if you don’t like that your parents are doing this to you, think about how ubiquitous the issue of college debt is right now. You have a golden ticket (no pun intended) to one of the best Universities in the world. I guarantee you will have more than enough social experiences at Berkeley. It’s right next to San Francisco. I can also guarantee you that after you graduate you won’t regret having no debt…Go to Berkeley, make friends, and have the experience of a lifetime. I was just accepted into Berkeley as well and I am eagerly putting myself in debt to go there because I know how much it means. So tell your parents to contact me if you decide you want to pay out of your own pocket for UCLA. I’d be happy to cash that check. </p>
<p>…Or maybe I’ll see you there. Good luck.</p>
<p>girlinabigworld…sounds like your parents are bullying you with the economic hammer. I’ve been there many moons ago and vowed I would never do that to my children and kept my promise. I believe parents, especially those with means, should be a conduit to their kids passions and success. You need to sit down with your parents, have a good heart to heart, and have them draft a follow up letter. Personally, I don’t trust the situation. What keeps your parents from telling you what courses to take, where to dorm, gpa to maintain, etc. It looks like your choice is UCB or nothing. You need to make sure your parents don’t pull the economic hammer out while you’re at Berkeley and create new demands on your major, etc. Getting it all upfront now may make it easier going forward. You truly will enjoy that day when you are economically independent. Good luck to you. </p>
<p>drax: OP is instate. No reason for her parents not to use Cal – common name used by Berkeley students, alumni, and locals (both in Bay area and I assume throughout CA). Definitely not restricted to a sports moniker. Also anybody could make a typo on spelling the name, Berkley – I do it all the time on my phone/pad when my swype “suggests” stuff and I don’t catch it before I press “send”.</p>
<p>All: Most instate kids who aren’t sure which UC they’ll get into would apply to many/most of them to hedge their bets. Parents could’ve said to apply to all, knowing that if she got into Cal, that that’s definitely where they would have her go. So that’s probably why parents allowed her to apply to UCLA but now won’t let her matriculate there. If she hadn’t had the fortune (or misfortune in this case) of getting admitted to UCB, the parents probably would’ve “forced” her to attend UCLA as that is usually considered the (next) highest ranked UC. Although they should’ve made that clear during the application process. Although perhaps they did, OP didn’t listen, and hence their final ultimatum expressed in the email?</p>
<p>OP: Parents are right. You are an adult now. They are not obligated to pay for your education. You cannot currently afford it without their financial assistance. It’s awesome that you got into Cal and that they’re willing to pay for it. Definitely not so awesome that they don’t regard UCLA as an equally wonderful choice – and even more importantly that they don’t respect your preferences. Nevertheless,a paid-for college education at a premier institution like Berkeley is such a wonderful gift from your parents, especially as that is potentially $140,000 that they could use to fund their retirement, remodel their house, or go on a trip around the world – but are choosing to bless you with instead. I would choose to see this as a terrific opportunity and be grateful to my parents. Bloom where you’re planted. Choose to maximize every opportunity. Go have a great time going to school, making potentially lifetime friends, eating free food cooked by somebody else on dishes washed by somebody else (for however long you’re living in the dorms) and enjoy your freedom to pursue your passions (without needing to work?). This is going to be a great four years that you’ll never experience again once you’re out in the working world – fending for, taking care of, and paying for, yourself. Enjoy!</p>
<p>In the future, don’t let your parents have any of your passwords.</p>
<p>If this is a real situation, go to to Cal and take comfort in the fact that you will be choosing their nursing home!! </p>
<p>You could probably re-set your Berkeley passwords. I’d wait until you get to campus so there isn’t World War III all summer. You don’t need another email from Dad if you do poorly on a mid-term exam or your mom emailing your professors for you under your username. This is about setting healthy boundaries. Good luck to you!</p>
<p>She doesn’t seem like a ■■■■■ if you look at her other threads.</p>
<p>Just saw this post and found it laughable. What a tragedy to have to go to Berkeley instead of UCLA. It smacks of a giant ■■■■■-job worth four pages of humor. 
If, for some incomprehensible reason this is a real dilemma this student faced, it pales by comparison to some of the truly awful things many students on CC face. Suck it up and Go Bears! There is no greater gift her parents could give OP than to attend a top ranked university and graduate debt free. (Ok, the parents are tools, but that is a separate issue!) </p>