<p>This year I'm a freshman in college. Previously I was deciding between UC Berkeley and UCLA. I live 20 minutes away from Berkeley and I kind of disliked the environment: the hobos, the grungy, concrete buildings, the worn down feeling of the city...etc.</p>
<p>I liked the UCLA campus and I would have chosen that, but my parents made me choose Berkeley. I later convinced them to let me switch over the summer, and I was able to convince UCLA admissions to let me back in. I didn't find out until I had moved in to Berkeley.</p>
<p>I am considering switching to UCLA but I am once again torn. My mom is really sad and doesn't want me to be far. She keeps crying about it. I'd be living on campus at both, but she's being over emotional about it.</p>
<p>So now I'm pretty confused and lost and stressed. Should I go to UCLA or should I stay at Berkeley. I only have a few days to consider it. Am I being selfish if I leave, or do you think my mom will get used to it?</p>
<p>Your mom will have an adjustment to go through regardless of which one you go to and she’ll manage it. The biggest change here, which your mom might not really be thinking about, isn’t whether you’re 30 minutes away vs 6 hrs away, but rather that you’ve left home and are now living elsewhere, not sleeping at home, not eating meals at home, not being told what to do by them on a daily basis, not watching TV with them, etc.</p>
<p>Just because UCB is closer to home doesn’t mean that your mom will see you every day, every weekend, or even every month. Most likely she’ll see you more often if you attend UCB vs UCLA but not on as frequent of a basis as she might be imagining and therefore she’ll need to go through some ‘withdrawal’ regardless of your choice. She may be thinking somehow that somehow she’ll see you all the time if you’re at UCB but she won’t and she’ll need to get used to the idea that you’re now living elsewhere whether it’s 30 minutes away or 6 hours away (but only a 1 hr flight).</p>
<p>With today’s media you can mitigate a lot of this separation anxiety though in ways that didn’t exist when I went to college - texting, IM, FB, a phone you always have available that even includes long distance calling, etc. If you make an effort to call your mom every now and then (every few days up front, maybe every week or two later depending on what you want to do) as you’re walking to/from class she’ll feel less anxious. </p>
<p>It sounds like your parents already agreed to support your choice of either U. Do what you prefer or else you’ll likely regret it later.</p>
Just going from the Cost Of Attendance figures, UCLA will be less expensive than UCB - </p>
<p>UCB COA (2013-14): $33,320
UCLA COA (2013-14): $32,563</p>
<p>Of course, not all of the values in the COA apply equally to everyone. The costs of the two are so close that it’s not really a factor (unless there are specific savings particular to the student like a particular scholarship, etc.).</p>
<p>However, attending UCLA will likely cost some in flights home for various breaks although they’re close enough (only 5-6 hours or so) that a lot of times students can ride along with someone else or even take a train.</p>
<p>The OP could mitigate some additional costs (if there are any) by getting an on-campus job (or off) and contributing to some of the travel expenses.</p>
<p>You will get bad housing and scraps for a schedule but you will be where you really want to go.
Your mom is crying but she and your dad are not forbidding you go.
They are giving you an opportunity do what you want.
They will respect you in the long run for doing what was right for yourself instead of resenting them for keeping you home.
Don’t mess up, tho.
Make good grades and make them proud.</p>
<p>The difficulties with schedule and housing will only last a semester. If you want to go to UCLA, I say go! Your mom will be ok. Just be sure to keep in touch.</p>
<p>Is Berkeley on the semester system? I thought it was on quarters like all the other UC’s. UCLA is on the quarter system and instruction for the fall Q does not begin until late September. If you switch to UCLA, you may have plenty of time to deal with housing and scheduling issues.</p>
<p>It seems that you want to be a little farther away, so if you really have permission to go at this late date then go. I think you should communicate to your parents that it is your preferred campus and it is an experience for you to live in another part of the state. It will be better for your studies and involvement in campus life to get a bit farther away so you aren’t being pulled home all the time. Talk to your father privately and tell him that you think your mother has to get control of herself and start leaving decisions about your life up to you without the guilt trip. Either way in the end you’ll be fine.</p>
<p>Since classes began last Thursday, the semester at Cal is already in progress. If you choose to leave Cal, make sure you follow all withdrawal procedures so that you do not end up owing tuition and fees for the entire semester. You will likely have to forfeit a percentage of tuition, and pay some penalty for breaking a campus housing contract or apartment lease.</p>
<p>If you are receiving financial aid, be sure to follow any necessary exit procedures so that your transition to UCLA goes as smoothly as possible.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone for the responses. I’m probably going to attend UCLA if the withdrawal process works for me. Since classes have started at Berkeley, I lose 10% of tuition if I withdraw by the 6th, and possibly my first month of housing plus a $300 cancellation fee.</p>
<p>But UCLA will be about $1500 cheaper so hopefully the costs won’t be that significant. Thankfully UCLA doesn’t start for a few more weeks.</p>