Parents

Colleges and Universities A-Z Naval Academy - Annapolis
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<p>What you must realize is along with this process of the grueling applications and multiple tests, support is needed. Whomever is the one applying needs some kind of resource to comfort, aid or even vent. My son just completed applying to the 3 summer sessions he is interested in. Now it is wait and hope he gets an offer. We have already visited all the campuses. He can not start his application yet. Our MOC will hold the first orientation meeting end of Feb.</p>

<p>He is one who loves to be on a computer but a online forum is not his style. I would hope as he gets further involved in the process he consider coming here on his own. He has done more paperwork already than my daughter did to get into a civvy college. His email box is filled with offers for summer engineering programs and to consider their college for 4 years. Right now averaging 2-3 a day. </p>

<p>My role here is to be just another resource as the stack of books in the corner of his room. When they get accepted, you have to keep positive, they are going to need more encouragement from you than ever. So what harm does it cause to have a support group to communicate their success and failures with others who have been there and done that. The other students who have invested their lives in a career decision they made around the age of 17 that share are invaluable to pulling the pieces together for both prospectives and current students.</p>

22

<p>Parents have as many questions about the admissions process as students and this seems like a great place to get answers. Why be ignorant or bother the admissions office if all you have to do is ask. As a parent and a Blue and Gold Officer I can shed light and perhaps help answer some questions that students don't have a clue about. A candidate may go through the process, be a Midshipman and yet not know all admission's intricacies. For instance, what group of candidates will a Blue and Gold Officer not interview? What group of candidates don't have to worry about the January deadline? </p>

<p>And for parents there is much to learn about Annapolis itself for Parent's Weekend, I-Day eg, where to stay, where to eat (basically on those weekends, anywhere you can because Annapolis will be packed). Wouldn't you as a Mid want your parents to know where to eat because guess what, your Squad Leader doesn't have the time to be a tour guide. Parents might find out that other parents are indeed coming to those weekends and that it is important to try and make it.<br>
That's my 2 cents...and frankly I don't think my son knows about this website. I think the only sites he looks at are video gaming sites and facebook. But I could certainly be wrong.</p>

23

<p>Can only ditto what has already been said.</p>

<p>Son: just not enough free time, bottom line. And what little free time he has is spent keeping up with friends that are all scattered now- from Tulane and Duke, UNC and UVA, Georgetown and Swathmore, Lehigh and Gettysburg, Bucknell and Muhlenburg, to Quinnipiac, Darthmouth and Yale- they have found a way to stay close, and it is a wonderful thing to see. The "rat pack" are all coming for I-day for his send-off, and there is not a doubt in my mind they will be in the stands for those lax games. That is his circle of support. This one seems to be mine.</p>

<p>Me: tons and tons of questions, curiosity, reassurance, thought-provoking and soul searching topics- many of which challenge, and often change the way I look at things- this forum ranks third in my ranking of sources (the first of which: Smallwood's guide, the second: our son's BGO).</p>

<p>What I will say is that I have yet to see a topic that has not, in some way, offered some new insight or perspective, or raised a question that we (candidate and parent) didn't even think to ask. Everyone sees things differently, and the insights of others simply expose us to different perspectives. </p>

<p>As for our son being involved, he has "stopped by" on occassion- usually when I find something that I think will be of particular interest (Zaphod's posts a prime example)- most times I copy/paste my way through with things I hope will offer help- most do. Just in the last 48 hours, following our first-ever "downer call," I searched on the forum archives and found a post from Bill0510 this time last year on the exact issue our son was facing- how lucky was I to have that information and "experience" a few keystrokes away- I was able to forward all the comments to our son- and I can tell you, without any reservation, that it was a tremendous help. That alone, for me, has made this whole thing worthwhile, and why I keep returning.</p>

<p>Lastly, it's the other parents, the majority of whom have really been terrific. Faces unknown, they remain a support structure and source of information that has been invaluable. Bill jokes and calls us the "birds of capastrano" returning for cheap thrills, but even he is lured back to the watering hole every now and then with an inside view of the yard. And JM- how would I ever know about tighty-whities without her funny posts- and Boss- I even found a fellow crew-parent that I can visit now and again at our rainy regattas! And Peskemom, who is coordinating a meet-the-face-behind-the-post-party at USNA! Prayerfulmom with her inspirations- and who was it that started that boodle box post with those fabulous brownies??? The list goes on and on-and how can I not mention Taffy, the resident "senior member" who has managed to out-post us all, amassing quite a fan club in the process all rooting for his success! I have to keep coming back just to see which academy will win out! (and which crew he will cox for!;) )</p>

<p>USNA, no doubt like the other academies, will mark the turning over of our charges to Uncle Sam, and this can be a very poignant, and sometimes downright frightening, moment for a parent. I guess, for me, it offers an opportunity to still feel connected in some abstract way when I can't make that call, or know the right way to how best help and support, with institutions that are often closed to parents except for that rare liberty. Last night I was able to "drop in" at our daughter's college- we enjoyed a cappaccino and a cannolli together- unplanned, unexpected, and a real treat- I don't think the academy would appreciate, let alone accomodate such a thing- the best a parent can hope for is an occassional call and hope that liberty doesn't get cancelled at the last minute!</p>

<p>So please forgive us parents who, in the interest of our candidates, come here to share. Do stay around- we love to hear about what is happening at all the academies so we can compare and contrast- and sometimes cheer on our own! There's room enough here for everyone, even parents!</p>

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<p>I've continued to do alot of thinking about this subject and being the New York raised Italian that I am, I always have more to say, so here goes.</p>

<p>I have raised 5 children. All of them were high powered, talented kinds, and all of them went on through college and advanced degrees ( or in such process). I certainly supported each once through their college choices....helped them through senior year deadlines...extra midnight snacks during AP study times....lots of hugs and prayers when they were so down.....The point is that I think every parent deals with especially senior year in high school and early college years with the challenge of finding the balance between giving your kids - in that old adage - roots and wings.</p>

<p>Of my kids - the only 2 that have taken INTENSE support has been child #3, who was an accomplished musician on the oboe, and our now soon-to-be Plebe of 2010. Why these 2?</p>

<p>I think the issue is - the more dedicated a young teenager is to a career path - the more support they need at home. You all see the parents of famous ice skaters and gymnasts for example - the media delights in telling us all about the hours in the car for lessons, the home schooling the parents do, the money expenditures and family sacrifices made to advance the talents of the young person. No one demeans these parents for this amazing amount of time dedicated to their child. </p>

<p>I took child #3 all over the State of CA for lessons/performances/competitions/ and the like, as she advanced through oboe music playing. She definitely needed more support than my previous 2 teens in high school, or else she would NOT have been able to devote the hours necessary for a rigorous high school honors program, coupled with hours devoted to music. It all payed off as she went to music schools for college and grad school with full scholarships and now is a professional musician.</p>

<p>Why talk about a child playing oboe on a Naval Academy forum? Simply because I have experienced the same kinds of demands on me as a parent of a high schooler working towards an appointment in the Naval Academy , as I did with a child musician. </p>

<p>It takes parents to help a child work through the maze of details required to finally show up on I-day for USNA. I am NOT doing my child's homework, writing the essays, giving the answers for interviews, or typing her work. I AM making appointments for all the USNA requirements, giving her slack about how clean her room is, saying 'yes' when she asks for the car to drive to the beach and run for relaxation, buying her favorite late night snacks for midnight studying, and making sure she has all her school supplies without running out, like computer paper/ink/graph paper and the like. I'm always looking for ways to keep the stress factor as low as possible without falling into 'babying' her. I'll admit, it's a tough call at times.</p>

<p>Parents still waiting for an Appointment be prepared: USNA wants these issues dealt with before I-Day:</p>

<p>passport
police check
official birth certificate for USNA
dental xrays/treatment
wisdom teeth removal</p>

<p>All of these require appointments to make and calendar scheduling! And it takes a parent to coordinate this maze of EXTRA issues a busy high school senior taking a full load of honors courses/sports/leadership, etc. faces.</p>

<p>Once you get your last hug from your child and they enter the hallowed halls of USNA, or really any college - the support level definitely changes - as it should - but in this mom's humble opinion the teamwork of parent and child is the foundation necessary to launch our young people successfully to their careers there at USNA and beyond.</p>

<p>I am astoundingly grateful to have met - via this forum - dozens of families all across the country dealing with the same issues I have been. It's a true encouragement.</p>

<p>One young person told me he was 'in love with me'.</p>

<p>Well, in a way I am 'in love with you' all.</p>

<p>Thanks for listening.</p>

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<p>Wow, all of these great posts should make things clearer as to why people come here. One more thing I wanted to add though. That no matter how much we support our own kids and the kids on this forum, we parents, can't do anything for them to get them "in". They are the ones who want it. These kids stand on their own merits. They have to have their own accomplishments in the grades, leadership and their own abilities to get where they're going. So what, if we proof read an essay. No big deal that we said, "Hey! You need to go get your passport photo tomorrow." My Plebe is 800 miles from me & I'm still saying, "Do you need me to send a box with toothpaste and brasso?" I know that when he's 35, I will still say, "Do you need me to send you a box with toothpaste and brasso?" I'm such a MOM. Parents are in supportive mode here & we learn so much from each other. Otherwise, I would be sending sponge bob boxers & my kid would pay for my stupidity.</p>

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<p>You are the moms that will be sending care packages from home that are usually shared with everyone...no one complains then.</p>

27

<p>After reading these posts, I understand a bit better where the parents are coming from. I believe that most parents on here are unwilling to let go of their kids, whether they are about to go or are going to a service academy. There comes a point in their life where you need to cut the lease. If not, they'll be crying out for you in the desert of iraq or the middle of the ocean. You overly support them and need to give them space and live your own life, not theirs. If you want to support your kid, then allow THEM to make the calls/appointments/ect. Allow THEM to research. Allow THEM to make the final decision, without any of the bias(however unintended) you have. If they can't do this, how are they going to survive in the army or navy or in civilian life. </p>

<p>LOOK at what your doing to your kids. In a few short years they will be in command of 30-40 young men. Are they going to call you up for advice? I understand you want to support them but your doing just the opposite. I'm proud that some of your kids actually had enough interest to fill out the application (DADB2010). But will they have enough interest to complete 4 yrs of intense training and 5 years of active duty?????? Before you answer for them, let them answer for themselves.</p>

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<p>Who are YOU to talk about these people's children. </p>

<p>You don't know them.</p>

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<p>If YOU READ MY POST, you would realize I was talking about their PARENTS. Before you write a response, take the time to actually read what I wrote.</p>

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<p>First I want to say that I have been lurking here awhile.
Out of my own curiousity and angst or not knowing what DD's future will hold.</p>

<p>Westpoint...you are a fiesty one aren't you?
It is good to be so independent.
It is also good to have a team.</p>

<p>I am an ex WIN US navy and I married a proud ex-Marine.
My DD is now waiting to hear if she will be a member of the class of 2010 USNA.
Whether she goes there or to VMI (NROTC-Yeah! and Yes) we will be with her in her heart, in her head, and in her veins.
Do you think the Captain of the ship doesn't have someone who worries at home about where he/she is..what they do?</p>

<p>You better think seriously on brushing up on your people skills.</p>

<p>You will need someone else in that "foxhole" with you.
The parents here are just like me they are interested in what is going on...what they are or will be doing..and I thank them for letting people like me know what is the process.</p>

<p>If my DD's "Uncle" BGO and I didn't call up the school and email teachers who DID NOT fulfill their promises to complete the online recs..they never would have been done...(Jan 26...from request by DD in August).
She ask them, and begged them...there was a hint of anti military sentiment that was also a problem.
(They still don't get it)</p>

<p>While you are typing away..my DD is at track and when she gets home to do her homework, she actuallly might get a min. before midnight to email her friend in the class of 2009 USNA to give her a little encouragement.</p>

<p>When you meet her someday-salute her say "Good morning ma'am" and she will say "Good morning" to you ..and she will mean it.
Because as parents..we taught her teamwork and whether you are Navy or Army you're on her team.</p>

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<p><spidermom (win83)="" salutes="" win84=""></spidermom></p>

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<p>I wanted to say that after many years in a HS I saw too many students not get where they wanted to go because of lack of support/guidance.
I feel sorry for the kids who have bad counselors and parents who show no interest in their lives to the point that they lost their chance.
As in the post for the late PFT...the parent may have helped with a shove or advice.
I'm glad you can do it alone..but my DD news a crew she can't sail by herself.
Her father and I are in awe of her--she is an expert with a M-16-award winning squad leader of the U.S. Navy Sea Cadet Corps. and guess what? We actually let her go off with chiefs in the real US Navy every summer to to go boot camp at Great lakes, Seabees and building in the parks..not to mention on a boat in Lake Michigan...she didn't call much but when she did, it was for our benefit not hers.
Don't ever call her ANYTHING like a baby cause as LPO she make you do pushup's !!!</p>

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<p>westpoint2010,</p>

<p>You kind of stepped over the line. :) You certainly cannot in good conscience claim knowledge of what motivates the posters/lurkers here. Many just find community here. Many get questions answered. Many provide useful information based on their experience. Many are seeking to support or be supported. Moreover, to make the great leap of illogic to assume that because we post here our children didn't do the work is offensive. You did not bring credit upon yourself when you chose to lecture your elders on something of which you have no direct knowledge or experience.</p>

<p>And remember, all of us parents have been where you are. You, on the other hand, have not walked a second in our shoes. What is that sage quotation? "Better to be thought a fool and remain silent than to say something and have it confirmed." It would be best if you focused on YOUR job not someone else's. That's what I tell my daughter, and it might prove useful advice for you lest you get the reputation as a "Joe".</p>

<p>Finally, I think it's terrific that you are a talented, motivated, achiever (as evidenced by your acceptance into USMA) who takes matters into your own hands. It speaks well of you and your parents that you are so driven and able to satisy your own needs. Here's wishing you a fair wind and following sea as you pursue your education and career.</p>

34

<p>Unfortunately I have not yet been accepted to the point. </p>

<p>Duke80- I agree with much of what you have to say. I am just trying to understand for myself this "parent/academy" relationship. At minimum it is intriguing and food for thought.</p>

<p>WIN84- I was not calling your daughter a baby, you did that. That says something, no? You prove the point that many parents use this forum as a tool to brag about their kid. What better way for an ego boost than to brag to a group of people about your kid's accomplishments. </p>

<p>-expert with a M-16
-award winning squad leader of the U.S. Navy Sea Cadet Corps
-go off with chiefs in the real US Navy
-DD is at track and when she gets home to do her homework
(meaning that all of us who post on these forums A. dont do homework or B. arn't as studious/athletic as your kid. </p>

<p>My people skills have gotten me nominations to three academies, pretty bad eh?</p>

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<p>Well said Duke80</p>

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<p>Amen Duke80...well said. </p>

<p>Westpoint2010: ...we "wish you a fair wind"...and on to other shores....</p>

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<p>you should probably focus more on your path to acceptance to west point, and less on this web forum. yes, there were times when i felt pushed and prodded by my mother. there was also the time when, on the third day of plebe summer, we got mail for the first time. i saw the letters she had sent me, the care packages, and i BURST INTO TEARS in front of all my cadre, and i wasn't the only one. that is how much your parents mean to you when there is NOTHING ELSE to get you through. you remember the words they told you and the looks on their faces when they kissed you goodbye. you remember who you are.</p>

<p>my mother has led me to where i am today: annapolis. she encouraged me when i doubted myself, pushed me when i was lazy, and taped my appointment to the front door of my house when i got it. with an american flag. and blue and gold balloons. and a sign. hers was the last hug i got before going into alumni and the first one i got when i walked out 6 weeks later in whites.
i was medically disqualified. where did she find advice on how to go about getting a waiver and doing a rebuttal? here. advice on b&g interviews? here. nominations? here. who did she tell all about my every move, every step of the process, and my success in the end? the people on this forum!
i thank god for parents who take an interest in their children's lives, and in this process of getting into the academy, because IT IS such a big deal! thank goodness for nosy, pushy, loving, inspiring parents. and good luck on the road to west point.</p>

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<p>westpoint2010: </p>

<p>
[quote]
My people skills have gotten me nominations to three academies, pretty bad eh?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I can guarentee you one thing: your "people skills" are not winning you any points here! </p>

<p>For someone who is still going through the process you are making an aweful lot of assumptions and presumptions here. Just keep one thing in mind as you chastise those who have been parenting some pretty decent kids for 17+ years: 3 nominations does not an appointment make.</p>

<p>Reality check: you are but one of THOUSANDS that have chosen this path. You are one of THOUSANDS that will receive a nomination. You are one of MANY that have even gotten 3 of them. PRAY that you are one of JUST A FEW that will gain an appointment. And then get down on your hands and knees and thank God that you had some good parents of your own who nurtured you this far. And don't think for a minute that they won't be just as proud of your accomplishments as these parents are of their kids.</p>

<p>We really don't need you to be "proud" that some of our kids filled out their own applications- I have news for you- with the exception of a very, very few, most of them did just that, and it is obvious we have pride enough in their accomplishments. </p>

<p>Likewise, the parents here know well enough that letting go is a given-but it takes a parent to realize how hard that can be sometimes. This, too, you will learn for yourself one day.</p>

<p>On a more postive note, congratulations on your 3 nominations- there must be some redeeming people-skill in there somewhere! I hope we get to see it!</p>

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<p>westpoint2010, you know you do raise a good point. Why are there so many more parents on the service academy forums than on, say, the Harvard forums? Those kids are just as busy, motivated, and qualified as ours yet their parents are largely absent. I have no idea why. A SA requires lots more in the way of paperwork, medical exams, etc. but it goes beyond that. </p>

<p>We are not "helicopter parents", hovering over our kids' every move, yet here we are! We all found our way to this forum. The reason I kept coming back and eventually posted was because of funny, intelligent, warm, welcoming parents and students like Jamzmom, Aspen, Momoftwins, bostonusmc, sandiegodude, etc. just to name a very few. I've never been tempted to post at any other other schools Spider's considered. Too much bragging, mean-ness and just plain silliness. </p>

<p>Now westpoint2010 I don't want to be condescending or insult you but here's a hug and a plate of warm cookies. Don't be too quick to throw rocks at us. You hurt our feelings. We just love and admire our kids.</p>

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<p>plus i'd also like to mention that with "westpoint2010" as your little screen name, you're posting in a rather odd place. maybe you should spend more time lecturing your friends in grey on this.</p>