I just want to add a little perspective to this as a current high schooler. Right now, I’m at a well regarded, big, public school (albeit online), and attended a rigorous international boarding school last year.
The statistics in both of the above-listed reports are not concerning to me at all.
You have to evaluate what the answers to some of those questions really mean. When asked a question like “are you happy at your school”, your mind immediately jumps to two days ago when you were crying, skipped dinner, and failed a chem test. This doesn’t mean that kids aren’t usually more generally happy, it just means that extreme emotions (particularly negative ones) are a lot easier to recall. Besides, 86.7% of Andover students said they considered themselves happy at Andover, and 91.5% said if they had to make the choice again on attending, they would still attend. 82% said they had an adequate mental and/or emotional support system on campus. All three of those numbers seem remarkably high, and I think speak to the general attitude of students. 90% of surveyed students report never having been bullied while there. I know for a fact that number would be a lot lower at most schools. Mental health among teenagers is not great across the board. And in that regard, Andover seems to be doing just fine.
In a high-pressure environment, it makes sense that there is some substance abuse and partying. People under a lot of pressure will do that no matter where they are. I know kids my age who post on social media about doing drugs and throwing parties, and if you think that’s any different in private day schools I can assure you it’s not. I have friends at a good local Jesuit school and the drinking/drugs issues there are even worse than at my public school. Teenagers have sex. Once again, boarding school won’t change that. Hell, single sex schools might help, but realistically that’s not foolproof either.
There was a big Halloween party in my town that most high schoolers were going to (an extremely dumb move during covid). I was speaking to some upperclassmen on my swim team and asked if they were going. They all responded that they knew people who would be there, but themselves wouldn’t go anywhere near it. Why? “Because it’s a dumb idea,” and “We’d get kicked off the team if the school found out”. So just because people around you are participating in something, doesn’t mean that you lose all capacity for responsible decision making. I also noticed in the Andover survey that most of the questions asking if “X culture exists on campus”, resulted in many more “Yes” answers than when asked, “have you ever participated in X activity”.
If your kid surrounds themselves with good people, they will be fine. And by good people, I don’t mean dumping a friend because you heard they drank beer at a party last week, I mean being around people who will respect and understand your personal values and not pressure you to do anything you don’t want to. I have some great friends who I know drink every now and then, and who are somewhat sexually promiscuous. I was raised in a Catholic family with very high opinions against that, and have no issue telling my friends that “No, I am not going to that party with you” and they can respect that. They don’t judge me, and I don’t judge them. If you trust that your kids won’t be easily influenced then they will be fine. Make your expectations clear. And to be honest, if your kid wants to drink/party it doesn’t really matter if they live at home or at school. You may feel that you can control it better when they live with you (and in some cases that’s necessary), but teenagers (especially smart ones) will figure out a way around whatever barrier you try to implement.
As for cheating, kids cheat. They shouldn’t, but they do. Assuming that grades are not on a curve they’re not hurting anyone. And, in the vast majority of cases teachers know who the cheaters are, even when it can’t be proven. I imagine in a place like Andover, with small class sizes and the Harkness table, it’s pretty clear to teachers who knows what they’re doing and who doesn’t. Sure, kids probably can and do get away with cheating on one or two quizzes a semester/year, but anyone doing it more than that will likely attract suspicion very quickly. There is a big difference between asking “have you ever cheated?” and “How often do you cheat?”.
I will also add from my experience last year that as a freshman it was not difficult to be ignorant of the more illicit activities going on. It wasn’t until half-way through the year when my close friend befriended a senior girl in our dorm, that we became aware that there even was a drinking/sex culture on campus. Even still, it wasn’t difficult to stay away from. These activities are not being done out in the open.
As for current students ‘not wanting their kids to go there’, that’s probably not indicative of their opinions once they’ve left the school. While being at my school last year my mom suggested the idea of my little sister applying when she was older, which I was strongly opposed to. When you’re going through something challenging, you don’t want someone you love to be subjected to the same. Now that I’ve been gone for many months, I can acknowledge that even on the worst days I was surrounded by great people and those ‘bad’ experiences helped me gain resilience and perspective. I would now have no issue with my sister going there.
On paper, some of these answers don’t look good, but honestly, if a survey was done like this at my old school or current school I’m sure it would be the same if not substantially worse.
If you’re worried that your kid will go away and become a raving alcoholic, drug-taking, party animal, then maybe they’re not ready to leave home. However, they will be met with people who engage in those activities wherever they are. To some extent you have to trust that they’re responsible enough to not be so easily influenced. And also acknowledge that the majority of these boarding school students go onto great universities and careers. During my Andover interview, the interviewer told me that it’s insane how many alums come back to try and help the school, (during the admission process and in general). I’m sure things could be improved upon, but I find it very hard to believe that there are significant ‘campus culture’ issues with results like that.
Kids at boarding school are away from their parents, which is why I think many parents are concerned that these things are going on. But kids will experience what they experience no matter where they are.
(Sorry for the lengthy reply, I’m currently sitting in an online gym class bored out of my mind.)
