<p>See, but the thing is, I have written speeches for people before, and I have remained anonymous, and it felt amazing because it felt like I was doing something of more value than a thing that I could have done before. </p>
<p>Name/No-name, I mean the recognition that is one of the reasons people like to do things, but I just don’t want to look down the line and think, “I contributed nothing to humanity.” OR “I contributed a lot less than I should have.”</p>
<p>And, I have started writing! I’m glad you also feel that way about it too! Personally I think writing helps, but reading good writing helps a lot more!</p>
<p>Finally, the depressing bit, and I am sorry if I have sounded obscure in my original post through my grandiose writing, (mind you it was 4 AM when I blogged on CC for advice!), but I care SO SO SO much about helping people. In fact, helping people and being nice makes me feel happy! SO HAPPY! (maybe mirror neurons?)</p>
<p>So, the depressing bit, well, it makes me depressed to think about that in the end, my life didn’t amount to much because I didn’t contribute to society because I guess I’m under the philosophy that I should contribute to society. And I don’t know why, I guess it is the same concept of the Bible talent story … I don’t know. </p>
<p>It is like my Dad. I love my Dad. He is a compassionate great guy, good role model, smart, charismatic, nice, has a great family of 10 :DDDD and overall, has really lived a life that probably brings him lots of happiness and other people happiness.</p>
<p>He ended up being a consultant, but he was on the pathway to be a theoretical microbiology professor, which would have made him less money, but from what he has said, may have been more satisfying in the “end.”</p>
<p>I’m talking about like for example how I would much rather be a biomedical engineer and work saving lives than a mechanical engineer and work on making weapons. </p>
<p>Idk, at this point, I feel like I’m rambling more and more… zzzzzz</p>
<p>Oh, and I read about the Gandhi stuff btw; a.) it is all speculation, and b.) even if he was sex-maniac or whatever/pedophile, I still think that what he did for society outweighs his proclivity.</p>