<p>So I'm guessing that we're going to eat something there... but what about paying?</p>
<p>Do I pay for both of us, or just for me? (or is it included in the application fee or something?) I don't want to seem cheap or too... "I'm going to suck up by paying. Am I not the nicest person?"</p>
<p>haha :D</p>
<p>its a formal thing with someone you've never met before.
Don't pay for them. Don't even mention the bill. When it comes they are going to reach for their money, you reach for yours. Pay for yourself.</p>
<p>^^^^ :-/</p>
<p>Eating out and paying can be such a sticky issue. I would however suggest you pay for yourself. Offer to take the whole thing, but let yourself be persuaded. If they insist, let them pay the whole thing. Just don't argue past 1-2 bouts of back and forth.</p>
<p>Since you are a teenager, interviewers understand that you are low on cash and probably do not have a steady source of income. They definitely will not let you pay for their meal - unless they are extraordinarily sleazy. Any good interviewer would pay for his own meal. You can offer to pay for his, he will refuse - it's just a pleasantry though. There is a chance he may want to pay for your food. For my Cornell interview, my guy insisted on buying something for me, and wouldn't take no for an answer. If he insists and doesn't back down, just let him do it. Otherwise, pay your own bill and let him pay his.</p>
<p>I met three of my interviewers at Starbucks.
Offered to buy 'em all a drink, they smiled and said "no,"
I waited for them, we began the interviews.</p>
<p>Offer to pay the whole bill first.
The person will obviously refuse.
Demand to pay your person.
The person will most likely accept.
Pay.
?????
PROFIT!!!!!</p>
<p>If they really really insist on paying it would probably best to let them. But if they do pay make sure you get the tip, and if the situation allows it give a bigger tip. Even if you are just paying for your portion and splitting the bill offer to pay the tip for both you and the interviewer.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your input! Wow, I didn't realize it was a little complicated; I had thought that it was a black and white answer before.</p>
<p>kwu, what did you mean by "pay. ????? Profit!" So, you mean that you should offer, they will say know, and then to insist?</p>
<p>haha this is like learning the asianessness of things</p>
<p>No, I was joking around with you.
It will be a spur of a moment thing where you'll figure out what to do when the time comes.
That you'll be sharing a whole MEAL at all is kind of weird to me...</p>
<p>I don't think you should offer to pay the whole thing. It is almost insulting - and if I were your interviewer I would look down upon you buying me a free meal only because I am representing Harvard.</p>
<p>hm but it's polite to offer, but don't press</p>
<p>No, don't offer to pay for the interviewer's meal. That's completely unnecessary.</p>
<p>Just pay for your own -- including your tip. If, however, the interviewer offers to pay for yours, let them. And regardless of who pays for what, send a thank-you note to the interviewer for their taking their time interviewing you.</p>
<p>Also, since the point of the interview is for you to be able to talk to the interviewer, order something light and easy to eat like egg rolls.</p>
<p>^^I don't think it's insulting to offer to pay for your interviewer, and I don't think he will get the impression that you're only doing it because he represents Harvard and you're trying to suck up. However, I also agree that it's not necessary even to offer to pay for the interviewer, because why would a kid pay for an adult?</p>
<p>It's an unequal playing field .. an adult, presumably with discretionary income, versus a high school student. I think the adult interviewer should ALWAYS pay, whether it's a full dinner or a drink at Starbucks. I think it's ok for the kid to make a move towards his or her wallet and offer to pay his part or leave the tip, but to retreat graciously when the adult says "it's on me." </p>
<p>If it's a Starbucks and the kid gets there early, he can pay for his own drink ahead of time if he's so inclined and doesn't want to deal with the issue.</p>
<p>I think Pizzagirl has it exactly right. I'm sure that it has happened, but an adult should never let a 17-year-old pay. That's triply true where, as with a college interview, the adult (1) has all the power and generally chooses the venue for the interview and (2) has a responsibility to avoid the slightest appearance that she is accepting favors from an applicant. The student should offer to pay for himself, the adult should wave away the suggestion, and the student should be appreciative.</p>
<p>" I think the adult interviewer should ALWAYS pay, whether it's a full dinner or a drink at Starbucks. "</p>
<p>At a restaurant, I can see the adult paying for a meal since presumably the adult is the one who chose the location and there were other less expensive places that could have been chosen. Presumably, too, a restaurant was chosen because the adult was planning to have the interview over a meal. One can't just go to a restaurant and tie up a table for an hour while one person just has a glass of water or a cup of tea, and it also would be rude for the interviewer to be eating while the student sat there with nothing.</p>
<p>However, I don't think the adult should always pay for a place like Starbucks. If the student can't afford to pay for a drink, the student can gracefully decline to order something. </p>
<p>Truth is that many adults who interview have to pick places like Starbucks because for various reasons such as concerns about their safety or concerns that the student may feel unsafe, they don't want to interview at their homes, and they may not have an office to use.</p>
<p>Some adult volunteers conduct as many as a dozen interviews. Also, just because someone is a Harvard alum interviewer doesn't mean that they have lots of money.</p>
<p>If the adult offers to pay for your drink, then, yes, take them up on the offer. However, it's perfectly fine to not drink anything or to arrive early and buy your own drink (assuming you can afford to do so).</p>
<p>Since the adult is the one who arranged the interview at a coffeehouse, the adult is responsible for "paying" for the table by ordering something to eat or drink for themselves.</p>
<p>And whatever the interview arrangements are, the student always should send a thank-you note. This can be sent to the interviewer's home or business (either would be best if one can obtain those addresses), e-mail (less preferable, but better than nothing) or can be sent to them c/o their alma mater's alumni office.</p>
<p>"However, I don't think the adult should always pay for a place like Starbucks. If the student can't afford to pay for a drink, the student can gracefully decline to order something. </p>
<p>Truth is that many adults who interview have to pick places like Starbucks because for various reasons such as concerns about their safety or concerns that the student may feel unsafe, they don't want to interview at their homes, and they may not have an office to use.</p>
<p>Some adult volunteers conduct as many as a dozen interviews. Also, just because someone is a Harvard alum interviewer doesn't mean that they have lots of money."</p>
<p>No, but I would feel weird, as an adult, standing in line with this high school kid, ordering / paying for only my own drink, and not saying to the cashier "our drinks are together."</p>
<p>"No, but I would feel weird, as an adult, standing in line with this high school kid, ordering / paying for only my own drink, and not saying to the cashier "our drinks are together.""</p>
<p>You might not feel weird if you were a graduate student, were unemployed, employed in a low income field, were sending a kid to an expensive college, etc. In some cases, the kids who are being interviewed have very well off parents, and the alum volunteer is a person who doesn't make much money.</p>
<p>I agree with northstarmom. If the adult interviewer picked the location, he/she should pay for both. My Ds Duke interviewer picked a cookie/ ice cream/ coffee shop for the interview. I drove my D to that place. We got there before her. When she showed up (she was late because of rush hour), I found out that she did her undergrad at Duke and was a third year medical student at our state university. She came from the hospital directly for the interview. So I bought her a cup of coffee since she's still a student and I was the true adult in that scenario, then left them alone. I could tell she was very tired.</p>
<p>My Ds Harvard interviewer did the interview in his office. Again I sent my D to his office and had a brief chat with him myself. He is an important businessman/banker. After the interview, he kept contacts with us with letters and cards. When another young Harvard alum came back to town for Christmas break, he called my D and me and we all had lunch together. He paid for all. It appears to me, Harvard alums keep a close contact with each other.</p>
<p>"You might not feel weird if you were a graduate student"</p>
<p>I interviewed when I was a graduate student, and I would feel very weird. IMHO, if I can't afford to buy the student a $5 frappucino, then I need to find a non-commercial place to do the interview.</p>