<p>Dad:</a> Stress drove UPenn track star to suicide | New York Post</p>
<p>What is most disturbing about this unfortunate story is that the young lady told adults she had suicidal thoughts. From my perspective that is when you immediately drive to school and bring your child home until you are certain they are stable and ready to return. </p>
<p>Not every accepted student has the same preparation, the lack there of can cause significant
stress.</p>
<p>The parents were doing what they thought was best. Their daughter was in therapy. If the therapist had thought she was in imminent danger, he or she would have communicated that to the parents. We were in EXACTLY the same shoes as these parents, back in 2010. We learned that there are different “levels” of suicidal thoughts - some are not as serious as others, depending on their specificity. Our son’s doctor said he was OK staying at his school, and gave him tools for what to do if the suicidal thoughts became too strong to cope with. Our son successfully completed three semesters (fall, spring, and summer) away from home. He eventually found his engineering program too stressful, so he came home after that. We did what we thought best all along the way. You CANNOT IMAGINE what it is like to go through this, so don’t blame the parents. I have two sons who are at risk for suicide, and it’s a nightmare. We can’t keep them locked up in their rooms all day - they need to live the fullest lives possible.</p>
<p>Sadly, I don’t think one can ever be certain regarding suicide. Often once the person has made the decision to end their life they appear remarkably symptom free and quite stable.</p>
<p>MaineLonghorn- You have no idea what my experience has been with this subject matter. First back off with your accusatory tone! I only offered my perspective as stated" from my perspective" I am entitled to my perspective which is based on my experience. My background is steeped in this subject matter . The disciplines of psychology and psychiatry are inexact. Things are very subjective when it comes to “degrees or levels”. I simply stated that I would not leave my child in a pressure school knowing that suicide was an option regardless of what any credentialed professional told me. You made your decision and I have no comment on what your did. I said nothing about locking anybody up in their room all day. How do you know that “I can’t imagine” you know nothing about my situation but I will say neurotic parents produce neurotic children. Mental illness can be hereditary. I am well versed in this matter so think before you spout off at me.</p>
<p>firstgenbsp112, you didn’t tell us what your experiences were so how could MaineLonghorn know? She has been very generous posting about her experiences with her sons. She was reacting to your criticism of the parents in the article.</p>
<p>Holy Toledo First Gen! </p>
<p>Maine’s comment was not remotely accusatory or spouting off! What’s got into you? He was providing an opinion and insight based on his experience.</p>
<p>My heart is broken for this family. To lose a child in this way is a devastation words can not describe I am sure.</p>
<p>I dont think the turn this thread has taken is helpful to anyone. I am sure this familys story hits home with many and support for each other rather than defensiveness or accusations would be so much kinder.</p>
<p>Mental health issues are so prevalent that I am not surprised that such a story has hit a cord on all sides. None of it is easy. Not for anyone.</p>
<p>Please, everybody stop and take a deep breath. This is SUCH a sensitive topic. I’m sure we all know someone (maybe even ourselves) who has been affected by the suicide of someone close to them. And while it is true that there is a big difference between ’ suicidal ideation’ and ‘suicidal ideation with a specific plan’, there are many cases where everyone in a victim’s life was totally blindsided by the event. It is a scary topic, and creates a lot of fear and anger in folks. Please, let’s all be a little kinder and gentler to one another.</p>
<p>I saw this yesterday. It’s horrible, and I can’t imagine what the girl was going through, and what her family is going through.</p>
<p>It’s so upsetting that the pressure to excel in college can have such dire consequences. </p>
<p>Condolences to the family and friends who have to deal with this tragic loss.</p>
<p>Excuse Me but "You CANNOT IMAGINE what it is like to go through this, so don’t blame the parents. " That comment is quite accusatory and it is directed right at me without any information about who I am what my circumstances are. I laid no blame on those poor parents, I offered a perspective on how I would react if my child was telling me they had suicidal thoughts. I WAS NOT COMMENTING ON HOW ANYONE ELSE HANDLED THEIR SITUATION.
oldmom4896- I do not have to put my personal business out on a public board to convince you or anyone else that I have a valid opinion. I am not judging anyone only stating how I would react to this kind of situation.
Fortunately for my family we have access to National Institutes of Health where the worlds leading research is being done on mental illness. And that is all I have to say.</p>
<p>The Holleran family is on our prayers.</p>
<p>firstgen, I’m glad you clarified your statement. When I read, “From my perspective that is when you immediately drive to school and bring your child home until you are certain they are stable and ready to return,” the word “you” to me implied that ANYONE in this situation should have brought the child home. That is what I took offense at. Maybe you could have worded it, “If I were in that situation, I would have brought my child home immediately…”</p>
<p>firstgen, you said to MaineLonghorn:
</p>
<p>To me, that is offensive.</p>
<p>The BS allegory of this (unfortunately all too real) tragedy is laid out in Josiah Bunting’s (former L’ville Headmaster) All Loves Excelling. Caveat Emptor.</p>
<p>All I can say is that my heart goes out to her family and everyone who loved her. When I saw the last Instagram photo she took, my heart was instantly broken. I didn’t need to read the article. Let all misunderstandings (on this thread) go and pray for the family. I can’t imagine what they’re going through right now…</p>
<p>The whole story brings tears to my eyes–the pictures are especially poignant. </p>
<p>I do hope that her story is shared widely with both parents and kids. We need to make sure our kids know that we support them and that depression is not a sign of weakness. This is an reminder for us to cherish our children and an opportunity to talk to them about their stress.</p>
<p>The Holleran family will be in my prayers.</p>
<p>Such a very, very sad story. The years of early adulthood are often when signs of more serious mental illnesses develop in our children. My heart breaks for the parents of this girl</p>