Hi,
I wrote an essay for the activities essay/list requirement for psu. I would really like some feedback on it. Thank you!
This is the essay prompt: list or discuss your activities other than academic work during the last several years (for example: school organizations, jobs, athletics, the arts, community service, religious groups, or other individual interests).
High school is a whirlpool, with constant homework, projects, tests, and quizzes. While my accelerated academic schedule consumes half of my time, I enjoy my other half of time by participating in other activities. Going back to ninth grade, I was eager to involve myself with my school and participate in many of the clubs offered at our school. I joined Key Club (a student-led organization whose goal is to encourage leadership through helping others) and Student Council as a freshman and continued to participate in these clubs throughout high school. Additionally, in tenth grade I became a committee chair for Key Club and a committee representative for Student Council. I was involved in National Junior Honors Society in ninth and tenth grade which became National Honors Society in eleventh and twelfth grade. Being in these clubs has helped me not only to become an improved leader, but also enjoy providing to the community and my school. Apart from after school activities, I participate in many activities outside of school such as classical singing, piano, volunteering, and working. I took Indian classical singing lessons for almost eight years until I was in ninth grade. In order to enhance my musical learning experience, I started taking piano lessons from tenth grade. I also enjoyed being a part of an Indian Youth Organization (IYO) at my temple and volunteering at the local library for the past four years. Over the last four years, I have volunteered for over one hundred hours loving every minute of it. Additionally, I began working at Kumon, a reading and mathematics learning center in order to help children academically succeed. In order to be successful in my academics and activities, it is important for me to be diligent, cooperative, and thoughtful. As a college student, I hope to continue my hard work and continue providing service to my community.
Please give me any advice to improve my essay! Thank you again!