<p>Do you have any friends? I mean, you sound as though you are a very stubborn and self-righteous individual. Life is not as black and white as you think. Some day, when you've had a bit more life experience, you'll have a better understanding of this situation. Your postings indicate a strong need to make yourself look better than other people by focusing on their shortcomings. Take a good look in the mirror. Are you so perfect that you will never make a bad decision in your life? A human life has value whether you agree with the way that person has lived his life or not. Become a parent and you will understand what I'm trying to say.</p>
<p>No one here has even implied that what this kid did was fine. We all agree that he made a careless decision and paid for it with his life. It's time for you to open your mind and your vision and see people as whole individuals rather then focusing on their faults.</p>
<p>I don't see how the fact that he feels strongly about this means he doesn't have friends. Additionally, I don't see how not having any friends would make him wrong.</p>
<p>Criticizing his lack of experience also doesn't make him wrong.</p>
<p>I think he is overly harsh, although I do agree with him on many points. And no, I have never made a mistake that monumental.</p>
<p>I could not respect someone who drinks and drives. It is so contrary to my value system and idea of respect and integrity that being friends would be impossible; I couldn't get over it. I tolerate almost everything (read: EVERYTHING), but that is not one of them. </p>
<p>The problem here is that insomniatic is judging the person, not his actions, selfishness, and total lack of respect for anyone else.</p>
<p>I will have a better understanding of driving drunk when I have a bit more life experience? That doesn't make sense.</p>
<p>Sure, I have friends. Of course I would be sad if this happened to one of my friends, but I wouldn't call it tragic and unfortunate.</p>
<p>I never said I am perfect and that I don't make bad decisions.</p>
<p>Unforutunately, some bad decisions are more crucial than others. If I cheat on a test and a professor catches me, it will be on my permanent record. Therefore, employers will see that every time I interview for a job.</p>
<p>Some bad decisions have a greater impact than others. Some won't affect you at all, while others will ruin or end your life.</p>
<p>I did not say anything about getting a better understanding of drunk driving with a bit more life experience.</p>
<p>What I was explaining to you is that with a bit more life experience, you will have a better understanding of the meaning of the memorial. You will have a better understanding that no one is perfect in this world. You will have a better understanding not to judge this kid's life based on his stupid decision. </p>
<p>Your response and deflection of the main point in my post further reinforces the idea that maturity and life experience are needed.</p>
<p>What does maturity have to do with this? I have an opinion and you have an opinion. Some people agree with me and some don't.</p>
<p>I already know that nobody is perfect in the world. I never said that anybody is perfect.</p>
<p>You can't judge somebody based on one stupid decision? If somebody cheated on you, would you still stay with them? If somebody stole from you, would you still let them in your house? Those 2 situations are based on 2 stupid decisions.</p>
<p>People like their fantasies. Doesn't matter how the kid actually was in real life. Just let it be, it surely is hypocritical to gloss over the kid's decisions but its a very human quality. Doesn't bring much satisfaction to rail against the fact that we tend to remember the good over the bad. How else could we keep going?</p>
<p>Insomniatic. Just because you wouldn't marry someone or even let the person in your house doesn't mean he's not deserving of a memorial if he dies so young. Indeed, the person doesn't even need to be respectable to deserve a memorial. In my opinion someone has to do something really henious in his or her life to be undeserving of a memorial if he or she died at the age of 18. Indeed, I have never met someone who wouldn't deserve a memorial (if they died at the age of 18) in my life. Insomniatic, the reason maturity is brought into play is because it is apparent that you don't know a person close to you who has died. If you had, you wouldn't say this if you weren't heartless. Later in life you will experience loss and you would never, ever imagine disgracing a young man's memory by not offering them a memorial.</p>
<p>Maturity has a lot to do with this, as cervantes and nysmile said. It will take being mature and experience to understand that people aren't horrible and evil because of one stupid mistake, that they most likely regret. Everyone does something that they regret and that hurts others, even though some are worse than others as you said. However, we shouldn't judge a person based on that one mistake, because I'm sure that there are generally many good things about a person that outweighs the bad and one stupid mistake they made.</p>
<p>Btw, the reason why I used the example of an unplanned pregnancy is because they both are accidents in that the person didn't want or expect for the consequences to occur. Also, pregnancy, like drunk driving, isn't really an accident. Having sex with someone isn't an accident, just like getting into a car and driving drunk isn't an accident, however, getting pregnant and harming someone else is, which is why I decided to compare the two.</p>
<p>Also you have to remember that this person has family members and friend and most memorial services are a time to say goodbye to that person and help the family deal with the lost. So because the person did something wrong does this mean the family should also suffer? Don't you think they suffered enough?</p>
<p>My point is not that they shouldn't have had a private memorial, but I don't think the school should have sponsered a memorial for somebody who drank underage and drove drunk.</p>
<p>So giving someone a memorial is "praising" them? </p>
<p>I don't think the school should be concerned with punishing dead students and their families by treating their deaths with shame. </p>
<p>Giving a memorial does not show support for someone's actions.</p>
<p>If you've done something foolish or risky before, you are a hypocrite. If not, enjoy laying on your deathbed realizing you spent your life playing it safe, talking shit on the internet.</p>
<p>Think to yourself: if it was a family member instead would you feel the same way? If so, you are just a screwed up person. If not, then you are a hypocrite.</p>